Disclaimer 1: If only they were mine, alas, they belong to Mr Wolf.
Disclaimer 2: I'm doing my best with the medical stuff, please don't take my interpretation as best or only way to treat NHL. While I'm trying to make it as close as I can, some of it is done for the sake of the story. Also, there may be misinformation but that is intentional and will be revealed throughout the story. I've Googled all medical information and consulted reputatable sites, so, having said all that... here it is...
Dedicated to my beautiful state of Victoria, devastated by the horror of February 7th, the souls lost and the tragic destruction.
Maureen hated being the centre of attention but knew that now she had started her father wouldn't let her get away without the rest of the explanation.
"No wonder, what?" Elliot repeated firmer and louder.
"The other day when I called in to see mom in the middle of the day, she was sitting on the sofa crying her heart out. I asked her what was wrong and she handed me the brochure from the postal service about deadlines for Christmas post," Maureen said, and then took a deep breath. "I couldn't figure out what that had to do with anything and it turns out it had nothing to do with the post itself, just the notion of Christmas. Anyway, a lot of tears, tissues and a cup of tea later she tried to explain it all – and it now only made sense."
"What did she explain?" asked Dickie, hoisting himself up to sit on the bench.
"Well," started Maureen slowly, looking up at her dad. "She said she was just feeling overwhelmed. She used the analogy of saying it was like never having gotten the very thing you wanted for your birthday or Christmas your whole life and suddenly getting everything at once – but as much as you wanted to celebrate, that there was this real threat of you losing it all in the blink of an eye and you'd be worse off than you ever were – because before when you had nothing, you knew no better but once you did and it was gone and you had nothing, you knew just what you had lost."
"Except it wasn't an analogy at all," Kathleen said, tearfully. "It's the story of her life. She never once got anything, not even love, and now, when she finally has everything she's ever wanted, it's under the threat of cancer taking it all from her."
"Dad," Lizzie said, the tears streaming down her face once more. "Mom is such a beautiful person, how come this all had to happen to her?"
"I don't know, Liz," he replied, holding her tightly. "I honestly don't know."
"It's so not fair," Dickie added, tears stinging his eyes.
"No, it's not, son," Elliot replied. "But Olivia doesn't feel sorry for herself and she definitely doesn't want you feeling sorry for her either."
"Does she know you're telling us?" Maureen asked, rubbing Dickie's arm.
"Yes, after yesterday she thought you should know, but she just couldn't do it, nor could she be here for it and she's sorry about that, she's just too emotional at the moment," Elliot explained, looking up at the clock. "Now, she should be home soon and all these tears need to be gone, okay?"
"Yes, dad," came the chorused reply.
"I know Livvy doesn't want to talk about it," said Dickie, as he hopped down from the counter. "So, can you just tell her that I'm sorry we brought it up and I love her very much?"
"Don't be sorry, son, it was going to come out one day," he said, hugging his boy. "As for the other part, that's Liv home now, maybe you can tell her on your way up to bed."
.
Olivia and Casey entered the kitchen laughing, testament to their great dinner together, but stopped quickly when they saw the faces of the kids in the kitchen. Olivia took a deep breath and stared at Elliot, not daring to look at anyone else. Quickly, he let go of Lizzie and padded over to his wife.
"Did you have a good dinner?" he asked, wrapping her in his arms and leaning down to kiss her tenderly. "Let me guess, you had the Caesar Salad followed by chocolate mousse," he announced, pulling back and licking his lips.
"Good guess," she said, a small smile on her lips.
"Guess, my ass," Casey chided. "With a kiss like that I'm sure you could tell you whether she still had her tonsils or not." She walked over to the kids. "Hey there," she said. "Anyone else for coffee?"
"No, thanks, Casey," Maureen said, "I have to drop Kathleen back at college and go home."
"No, thanks," said Dickie, "Lizzie and I have to get to bed; we have a test first thing."
"Well, it looks like just you and me, El. Tea, Liv?" Casey asked, rubbing Lizzie's arm as she fought her tears.
"Sounds great, Case," Elliot said, still holding onto his wife.
.
After a few moments of unease, Maureen announced they were leaving and the goodbyes were quick and as normal as they could muster. Elliot looked at Lizzie and she yawned for effect before she and Dickie said goodnight to Casey, then she padded over to her parents and Elliot could feel Olivia's heart begin to pound against her ribs.
"Night, dad, night mom," she said, wrapping an arm around each and hugging them both.
"Night, baby girl," Elliot said, kissing her head,
"Night, Liz," Olivia said, kissing her cheek.
"Love you so much, mom," she whispered into Olivia's ear before kissing her.
Elliot held his wife a little tighter.
As Lizzie departed, Dickie came over to say goodnight. After he let them go, he padded over to the kitchen door before turning around and coming back to Olivia and wrapping his arms around her.
"I love you so much, Liv, mom," he said, hugging her as tightly as the baby bump would allow.
"Love you too, Dickie," Olivia replied tearfully.
"And I want to thank you," he said, pulling back from her.
"For what?" she whispered, a huge lump in her throat.
"For everything," he said just as quietly. "For taking care of dad, for loving him like you do, for loving us like you do, for being so supportive of everything we want to do, for ... for ... for understanding the way we feel about mom and what she did ... for everything."
Without words to express herself, Olivia hugged Dickie once more and held him tightly.
.
Finally, after Dickie had pulled away and gone up to bed, Olivia looked at Elliot and Casey who both had tears in their eyes.
"I think I'll skip the coffee," Casey said, "I think you two need some time."
"Thanks, Casey," Elliot said, as she walked past and patted his back. "Dinner was great, Liv, we should do it again, soon."
"Yes, it was," Olivia replied, taking her eyes off her husband for a moment. "I really appreciate it."
When Casey had gone, Olivia slipped into Elliot's arms and she drew a deep breath. He waited for the tears to start but they didn't. Kissing her head, Elliot leant down to study his wife's face.
"You okay?" he asked, cupping her face in his hand, his thumb swiping across her cheek.
"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "I think I'm just relieved it's done and they know. How'd it go?"
"As well as you'd expect," he said, sparing her the details.
"Okay," she said with a nod, not needing to hear anything else.
"Want me to take you to bed?" he asked and she nodded, slumping into his body. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and prayed for the day she wouldn't be.
.
.
.
September gave way to October and things settled for all the Benson-Stablers. Maureen and Olivia's birthdays were celebrated with low key dinners. Part time work was still the case for Olivia and Elliot, though Olivia's days were getting shorter as she struggled with the physical side of her advanced pregnancy. Lizzie had wanted to hold a baby shower for Olivia but she was against the idea. Frustrated by her plans being thwarted, Lizzie went to her dad to gain his support.
Waiting until Olivia had gone grocery shopping with Dickie and Maureen Lizzie wandered into the kitchen and sat down next to her father.
"Daddy," she began in a sing song voice.
"Yes, Lizzie," he replied in a similar manner, putting down the newspaper.
"I love you, daddy," she said, smiling broadly and fluttering her eyelashes.
"I love you too, Liz," he replied, smiling back. "What can I do for you?"
"Wellll, you know how I wanted to have a baby shower for mom?" she asked, and paused.
"Yes, I do," he said, wishing she'd get to the point.
"She said no, again," she said with a pout.
"I know you're disappointed, Liz," he said, crossing his arms. "But we've talked about this. Olivia doesn't want to put anyone to anymore trouble – you have all done so much with the house and with everything else in recent months, that she feels a shower would be too much."
"But, dad," she protested. "Having a baby shower is all part of having a baby, especially your first one, and it's not fair she misses out on it."
"I appreciate that, honey," he said, patting his daughter's hand. "But Liv was adamant that she didn't want to come home one day and find a party just for her."
"Okay, okay," Lizzie said, throwing up her hands and getting up from the table; she'd heard the argument enough times.
.
After taking four steps towards the door she spun suddenly, her face lighting up at her bolt of inspiration.
"Dad, mom has only said no in that way, hasn't she?" she asked and Elliot was lost. "As in 'I don't want to come home one day and find a party just for me', right?"
"Yes, that's right," he said, nodding.
"So, technically, if we didn't have it at home, wasn't in the day time, and wasn't just a shower, we wouldn't be going against her wishes. Now, would we?" she questioned, smiling broadly.
"Lizzie," he said in a warning tone. "You know full well what she meant."
"We'll solve this," she said, padding over to the phone and hitting a number on the speed dial.
While Elliot didn't know who she was calling, he had a fair idea and as she explained the situation and her thinking, he knew he was right. He couldn't help but smile at his daughter's persistence and dedication to the cause. After Lizzie had hung up the receiver she turned back to her father and grinned.
"Casey says from a legal standpoint I'm right, I wouldn't be doing anything against mom's expressed wishes," she recited happily. "She also said that I'd be risking mom in an unhappy momma mode if I did it but she thinks mom would actually appreciate something special so she'd help me."
"Well, doesn't look like I'm going to stop things," Elliot said, standing and padding over to his daughter. "On the record, as far as your mother's concerned, I know nothing about this, okay?" he said, and Lizzie nodded. "Off the record, I love that you're doing this for Livvy and I love you very much."
Making the plans were quite easy in the end for Lizzie after enlisting the help of her sisters and Casey. Maureen had already planned on having a small Halloween Party to christen her reign in the apartment and Olivia had already agreed to go. So, all three conditions were met; it wasn't at their home, it wasn't in the day, and it wasn't just a shower.
It was to be a costume party and this provided Olivia with a major obstacle. After a day of searching in costume shops with the girls, two weeks before the party, Olivia came home with Lizzie dejected.
"How'd it all..." Elliot started before seeing her pout. "Not too good, hey?"
"No," she grumbled. "The girls all found great costumes but they had none for whales like me!"
"Oh, Livia, you're nearly 38 weeks pregnant, you're beautiful," he said, holding his arms open and waiting for her to come to him.
"I'm sooo fat," she complained coming over to him and resting her weary body against his.
"You're gorgeous," he whispered, kissing her head.
"Maybe I'll paint stripes on me and go as a beach ball, I'm already inflated," she grumbled and Elliot laughed before he saw the tears in her eyes, she was serious.
"Come sit with me, Liv," he said, sitting in the armchair and pulling her onto his lap.
"I'll crush you," she said, resisting his efforts to tug her over.
"I'll take my chances," he said, and she sat on his lap and cuddled into him. "I think you are incredibly beautiful and very sexy," he whispered before kissing her head.
"Thank you," she mouthed, just over it all.
.
Poking her head out from the kitchen door, Lizzie called out to her parents.
"I'm going to make an ice cream sundae, do either of you want one?" she asked.
"I do," Olivia replied before changing her mind. "No, I don't."
"Was that a yes or no, mom?" she asked, coming into the living room.
"It was yes I want one but I shouldn't otherwise I'll hit the ten tonne mark, so no," she said, shaking her head.
"I'll have one, please," Elliot said and Olivia eyed him curiously, she couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten ice cream. "We can share, Liv," he said, before kissing her cheek. "You eat the ice cream and I'll put on the calories." She loved him all the more.
.
By the time Elliot came home from work the next day, Olivia was in a much brighter mood – she'd found the perfect outfit, thanks to a shopping expedition with Casey – though it was only for after the party.
"You're happy, sweetheart," Elliot observed, kissing her head and hugging her from behind as she prepared the vegetables for dinner.
"I am," she said and leant back, craning her head around for a proper kiss.
"What did you get when you were out with Casey?" he asked, grabbing a piece of carrot and chomping on it.
"Nothing you can see yet?" she said, adding a saucy wink which made him all kinds of excited.
"Oh," he pouted, hoping she'd take pity on him, but he was out of luck.
"Have you decided on your costume?" she asked and he shook his head.
"You know I don't like dressing up in costumes," he said, pulling her closer.
"No, but you do like role playing. You made a great cowboy last night," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Ride 'em cowboy!"
"You were the one doing the riding, Liv," he whispered hoarsely before nibbling on her ear.
"And a great ride it was too," she said, whimpering when he found her weak spot.
"When are the twins home?" he growled, this encounter developing a life of its own.
"Not until six," she reported. "Lizzie had choir and Dickie's going to wait for her."
"Well, you up for another ride?" he asked, but as she was already unbuttoning his shirt, it was a redundant question.
"Yeehaw!" she called and led him upstairs.
AN: There will be a slight delay with the upcoming chapters, as, for the first time in this story, I have none in my stockpile. Since my illness earlier in the year I have had problems with my eyes and picked up glasses last night which will hopefully make the whole process far easier and less painful than it has been for about the last forty chapters. Thanks for your patience in advance.
