I own nothing of Star Trek or any other series that might pop up. This is an AU

To: GrimmReaper

From: asgrimm

Sent: 2262-314

Subject: In a mood…

Hey. Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been in a mood as the title points out. Don't know why I've just been despondent. Not even watching that stupid soap opera or trading witty barbs with House helps. Usually that perks me right up. I mean the man has such a sharp tongue that I can't help but rally up in defense.

Lately though I've been off my game. I haven't even seen Jim or Len lately. Sometimes it feels like they are avoiding me, yet at the same time I'm avoiding them. Did that make any sense? Yeah, me neither.

If I look back I guess my 'depression' started about two weeks ago, not too long after the whole evil Kirk and McCoy thing. We had stopped at Patience for some diplomatic event. I had gone with the initial away team and met with the 'royal' family. They seemed ok; then again I wasn't paying attention to them. I was paying attention to the nifty weapons the guards were carrying. I know my mind went on one track. It derailed to another when I was led to the main power plant with Scotty and started getting in a conversation with the head engineers there. I thought all was well until Len came and quite firmly said I was to return to the ship. Sort of put a damper on my day. Of course when I head to the beam up location I just happen to see two overly gorgeous women flirting with Jim, then nearly pounced on Len when he joined them. Neither one bothered to look at me or say goodbye.

Still I disregarded that figuring they were being polite. But when they came back to the ship they wouldn't look at me, and they haven't said more than a few words to me these past few weeks. Even their little afternoon visits have stopped. I guess I'm not good enough for them anymore. Not that I blame them, I mean I have nothing in the looks department compared to the women on Patience. All tiny and curvy with big breasts and long legs and…well you catch my drift.

The only good thing is I have been able to catch up on my sleep. Though that only lasted a few days, and now I'm having trouble sleeping at all…ARGGGGGG! Why is this bothering me? I've never cared about my looks before. Well ok I have, but not this much!

Sigh…I guess I went and got attached when I shouldn't have.

I could go find them and demand an answer, but for some reason I'm afraid of what they will say. So much for the Grimm courage eh? I can face down a slew of Drackles but not two itty-bitty little men. Great now I'm more depressed.

Ok I guess this calls for extreme measures. I'm going to have to raid the kitchen for ice cream.

Take care of yourself. Don't get killed.

Love,

Lexi

Ice cream hunter extraordinaire.

Hitting send she glanced up at the clock seeing that it was the middle of the 'afternoon' and Alpha shift had another 3 hours on duty. Lunch was well over so no one would notice if she invaded the kitchens. Not bothering to change out of her Tribble pajama pants and matching tan tank-top, a present from Scotty and the boys for last Christmas, and sporting a pair of extra fuzzy neon pink slippers she made her way to the kitchens, nodding every now and again to passing crewmembers who looked more than amused at her attire.

Upon closing in on her destination the theme song for the twentieth century show/movie of Mission Impossible rang almost irrationally through her mind. Soon she was even humming it, which managed to lift her spirits as she began to slow her pace and creep up on the door. Checking inside she found it deserted as she suspected it would be. The main kitchen staff generally had a break at this time anyway.

Using the infiltration techniques her grandfather had bestowed on her she crept in grinning manically as she stood before the freezer. Looking left then right she verified the cost had indeed been clear before pilfering in the freezer for her brand of sinful pleasures. Giving a triumphant cry she pulled back holding a small pint of mint-chocolate chip ice cream. Quickly liberating a spoon as well she 'snuck' out of the kitchen and back down the hall to her room, grinning similarly to the Cheshire cat the entire way.

Again the theme song struck her as she ducked and dodged random people to 'hide' the 'fruit' of her little mission. At the threshold of her quarters she keyed the door open then spun to back into the room, keeping an eye out for anyone that might have witnessed her jaunt. Pleased that she had gotten away with the goods she tossed the pint into the air chuckling rather evilly in her opinion, only to stumble on the catch when a throat cleared suddenly.

Reminiscent of a five-year-old caught removing cookies from the jar she turned with wide eyes to her visitors, meeting the rather amused looks of her husbands.

"Uh…"

"Well at least we know who's been pilfering the ice cream," Len drawled, eyes dancing with humor.

"Hey," she snapped pointing a finger at him. "I am so not the only one liberating ice cream from that freezer, buddy-boy!"

"So you have accomplices," Jim jumped in, smug little smirk painted firmly on his lips. "Are they all dressed so…fashionably?"

"I like this outfit," she huffed, plopping sulkily into one of her chairs. Intent on ignoring them and enjoying her treat she popped the top to the container and dug out the first spoonful, taking her time enjoying the first bite. "So why are you gracing me with your presence," she asked after licking the spoon, unaware of the effect she was causing.

Both men looked slightly flushed, though from embarrassment or something else she didn't know. Finally Len coughed.

"Well, you see we know that we've been avoiding you these past few weeks. Rather unfairly," he started, unsure of where to go with this conversation. "We…uh wanted to explain our actions."

Lexi paused in her indulgence and actually looked at them, her heart sinking a bit as neither man would meet her gaze. 'They're going to end it,' she thought sadly, more than a little surprised at how much the thought hurt her. With pain in her heart she willed up what little strength she had and decided that she could let them off easy. After all it wasn't like they had wanted the relationship with her in the first place.

"It's ok," she waved them both off. "I understand."

"You do," Jim looked so hopeful that it almost brought tears to her eyes.

"Yeah. I may not have been paying that much attention, but I did notice the people on Patience," she assured them. How could she not considering they were everything she wasn't.

"So you know," Len gave a relieved sigh, which almost crushed her heart completely. They weren't even going to feel ashamed about wanting out of their relationship? A twinge of anger welled up inside but she fought it back.

"How could I not," she snorted, sounding more bitter than she wanted. Stabbing a bit at the ice cream she continued. "I mean, they were gorgeous. More like the type of women you two would go for. Complete opposite of me. Not like you wanted me in the first place. So I totally understand that you guys want out now that I'm stabilized and all. And who wouldn't after seeing those women," she started to babble, her grip on the spoon becoming so tight that it started to bend at the neck. "Who could compete with those legs, and breasts and…well everything," she snapped, the spoon finally breaking in too from the pressure she put on it. Taking a deep breath upon realizing what she had done Lexi forced herself to calmly set the part of the spoon she still held down on the table. "So yeah, it's cool."

Jim and Bones shared a look eyebrows raised. "Uh…ok," Jim finally breathed out. "I think we're not on the same page here. We aren't leaving you, or even thinking about it. And I'm guessing you're not as ok with that thought as you'd like us to think. Unless you just happen to have a thing against spoons now."

"We were actually talking about the reaction the people of Patience had to you," Bones clarified, somewhat amused and chagrined that she came to such a conclusion. "They tried to buy you from us. They had never met a woman like you that had so much knowledge and beauty. They tried to trade their own women for you and we refused."

"Oh," she squeaked as she realized the mistake she had made. "Then why avoid me?"

"They put something in our drinks to try and persuade us," Jim explained, taking the ice cream from her and carefully extracting a spoonful for himself. "It made us sort of 'volatile' when presented with a picture or even the mention of you. We were afraid if we saw you we would…do things that would not end well. Every time we saw you in the halls or in passing we had urges that weren't natural. It was only the past two days that we seem back to normal, though we held off just in case."

"So…you were staying away to protect me and I pretty much just embarrassed myself for no reason," she summed up. At their nods she held her hand out for the ice cream. "Give it back. I'm really needing it at the moment."

Bones rolled his eyes. "Eating ice cream or any sweets when you're upset is not the answer."

"I happen to find it a wonderful coping mechanism thank you."

"It's not so bad either," Jim mumbled through another spoonful of the treat. "Who knew mint and chocolate was this good?"

"Hey that's mine!"

"Not anymore!"

Bones sighed as Lexi jumped up and started chasing Jim around the room in the attempt to get her snack back. A small smile twisted his lips though as he watched her tackle the other man to the floor and wrestle with him. There were still some things to work out, but he rather liked their unorthodox relationship and he would make sure she realized her place in it was solid.