Middle-earth, and all who dwell within it, belongs to Tolkien. I am grateful to him for growing this beautiful garden in which our imaginations can play. Please review!
There were few places in those looming hills that were hospitable to travelers, but Fili had found them a small, open space for their camp where the hill on one side sloped gently down from the south while the slope of the north hill had fallen in to form a flat clearing beneath a short, sharp cliff of earth and stone. It was sheltered from the wind and cold, and the ponies could walk up and down a few paces from their tethers and nibble at the short grass that had grown in the protected corners.
The ponies were still nibbling quietly as Kili watched Betta walk up the southern slope. He was tempted to go after her immediately, not eager to let her to wander alone, but she took only her knife and had no baggage. He knew that she would not go far; she was neither impulsive nor impractical, and if she were leaving them for good, she would first have gathered her supplies. She would not wander far, but still he wished that she had taken at least her bow and arrows, crude as they were.
He could not make up his mind which of them he found more frustrating and stubborn, but he turned to his brother first. "That was not wisely done," he said.
"Why worry?" Fili crouched down by the fire again. "The night is cold, and it will cool her temper and then she will return. This is her father's quest."
"As ours is our uncle's?" Kili asked. He shook his head. "That line will not win Betta's heart. I do not know what drives her on this journey, but I think that there was not much love between her and her father."
Fili looked up at him, and then he looked up the hill. Betta had only reached the end of the path that Kili had dug with his pacing feet perhaps a dozen yards above them before she rounded the hill. The moon was rising in the east and he could see her, distant but still visible as a dark silhouette against the sky.
"She never said anything about him to me," he said quietly, though there was little chance of her hearing his words. "Why else would she carry his box with her and put up with so much from this journey and from us, if not for the sake of her father."
"You wish to know why she is on this quest?" Kili said with a smile. "She wishes to know why we are. This is at least her journey to make. She had no reason to trust us when we forced our way into her company, and now you have certainly given her a reason not to trust you. Why did you have to go and say all that you did? At least you could have spoken gently."
"I said what should have been said long ago," Fili insisted.
Kili also looked up the hill at Betta. "Perhaps, but you know that she is no danger to us," he said, "unless you think that she will cut our throats as we sleep…"
"I do not."
"However, she is a woman alone who has done much of her travelling alone. She knows that we could easily do her harm here in the wild…"
"But we would not."
"And she is meant to take your word for it, when you are so secretive and yet so threatening, demanding answers from her? How is she to know that we are safe if we cannot even tell her why…?"
"Thorin would not like it to be spoken of," Fili interrupted his brother. "There are enemies who would be very eager to know the details of our uncle's quest."
"They will not hear of it from her. She keeps the secrets that she is trusted with better than you keep yours."
Fili frowned but he did not deny it. Betta had forced a path beyond Kili's trail. She had passed over the top of the hill, and he could no longer see her standing in the snow.
"Why won't you tell her?" Kili persisted. "It is more than fear of our uncle's anger that makes you hesitate. Do you think that she will be jealous when she learns that we are after a treasure greater than the one she offers? She already thinks us a greedy pair of royal dwarf-brats."
"No," Fili said. He sat down near the dying fire and wished that he could spare a stick to stir up the embers. "No, for I know that she cares little enough for gold, and you know it, too. Treasure was not her reason for journeying across Middle-earth from her fair Lebennin. I do not know what it is that I fear… perhaps…" He sighed and shook his head.
Kili sat down beside his brother and did not interrupt. He did not want to risk Fili clamming up again.
"We have learned much of your woman… of our companion on this journey, and what I fear is that her mind is too often close to my own thoughts. You have said that we two are equally stubborn, but much of her reasoning has been very like my own, even if we seem to disagree more than we agree on anything." Fili sighed. "She does not hesitate to speak her mind, and the fact that she has been silent while I lead is only because I have gone much the way that she has chosen, until now…"
He hesitated to say more, but this was not the first time that he had second-guessed confiding in his brother, and the last time had caused him no end of grief. If he could not open up his heart to Kili, then he was no true brother.
"I have had my doubts," Fili admitted. "I had them before we left Ered Luin, but I told myself that loyalty to Thorin was more important than anything else. Now, I am no longer certain that our uncle's path is the right one. We have all been close to death on this journey, some of us more than once, but the road to Erebor will be long and dangerous, more so than the petty quest that we are on now, and the greatest danger lies at the end of it. What of the dragon, Kili?"
"What of it? I suppose that Thorin has a plan."
"Does he? I think that he does not want us with him because he, too, knows that we may be killed by the dragon or by any number of other dangers along the way. Two weeks ago, I would have said as you do, 'what of it?' and I would not have hesitated to risk my life, but can I risk yours, little brother? The purpose of this adventure was to win a place in our uncle's company. That was my plan all along, was it not? And it was I that pulled you along with me."
"You pulled no one," Kili told him. "I would have come even if you insisted on leaving me behind." But he thought on what his brother had said.
When they were young dwarf-lads, he and his brother had made up tales of adventure for themselves, and dreamed of one day going out into the wild. But the adventures of their youth had rarely involved anything more dangerous that climbing trees and fording streams. Death in battle was honorable, but even Kili had seen the grief in Balin's eyes when he spoke of his friends who had fallen before the East Gate of Moria. Thorin seldom said aloud the name of his own brother who had died so young, and Dis had never forgotten the loss.
Kili knew that this was something that had long troubled his brother's thoughts, but he did not understand what had brought it all to the surface now when there had been many other chances to speak of Erebor and the dragon before they had left the mountain.
"What does this have to do with Betta?" he asked. "I think that she would be glad to send you off to the dragon's dinner bowl, more so now that you have insulted her. But, even if she does not celebrate to see you go, you have already thought of these dangers, she would hardly be saying anything that is new to you."
"I do not know," Fili said. He did not know what any of it had to do with the woman in their company, but he knew that it did. He remembered the dream that he had had the night before they let Ered Luin. Most of it was lost to him, but there had been a dragon and fire and the death of many dwarves, the death of his own uncle. It troubled him, though he reminded himself that he did not believe in dream omens.
"As strange as it seems, I find myself caring what she would say," he admitted. "It is one thing to ignore the doubt in your heart when it is put to the test; that is the difference between a brave dwarf and a coward. But to dismiss the concern of… of a friend… that is less easy to do." He shook his head at himself. "Perhaps she has been right all along, and I am only a fool of a dwarf."
Kili laughed. "Well, I have been saying that for years," he said, putting his arm around his brother's shoulders. "I also say that you worry too much. We have not even finished one quest and already you are declaring the second a failure. Call Betta back to the fire. Tell her about Erebor or not as you wish, but make her feel welcome for once! Call her friend to her face, and try to imagine how you would feel if you learned that your ancestors had fled the Great War as cowards. She is as angry and confused as you are over her own doubts and fears."
Fili winced. It would be a blow to any dwarf's honor to run from battle, although he doubted that the human folk took such things very seriously. And yet, Betta had been proud of her uncles and brothers and their prowess in war.
"You call her back," Fili said. "We may have a truce, she and I, but I was not kind to her. She does not like me any better than she did at Ered Luin."
Kili rolled his eyes. "I begin to wonder…"
"What do you say?"
"I say that I will fetch her for you, but I wish that you two would do your arguing in daylight. It seems that we must always do everything at night but sleep."
I've got a busy weekend planned, so you're getting this installment early. I know it's starting to feel like a bit of a soap opera around here, but I promise there will be more action and adventure soon!
-Paint
