Am I really at 50 chapters of one-shots?! Holy cow! You all are amazing people, give yourselves a pat on the back. You are the real writers here, with your fantastic requests and ideas and reviews and just... everything you do is great. Thank you so much. I never ever thought I would make it this far on mainly requests! I think I've only come up with about 3 or 4 of the ideas for these stories! Do you know how crazy that is? (Sorry for not updating but I've been ill and busy and... I'm super tired but I needed to get this update out at least so I'm not procrastinating anymore)
From Malica15: "Another amazing job! I can't express how much I love your one-shots! (You must be getting tired of hearing that haha) Anyway, in the episode Boyz Crazy, before Dipper seeks help from Grunkle Stan about Robbie's brainwashing, Grunkle Stan sings about the apocalypse while storing multiple cans of meat in a box. I always wondered why Grunkle Stan was so open about the topic of the apocalypse, and why he was so calm about it (especially since Dipper is in the SAME ROOM. Seriously, Grunkle Stan?!) When you think about how (spoiler!) McGucket was panicking about the discovery of a very near apocalypse, you really do feel weirded out. Soooo...one shot? :)"
Ooh, this is a toughie... I have no clue what I'm going to do. Why not wing it? (Feel free not to take this one-shot seriously; I'm tired and just theorizing because who knows if my guess for this answer was true? Probably not) Enjoy anyway!
Pants on Fire
Stan Pines wasn't a very good liar, honestly. He could tell fibs and white lies but when it came to things such as "who hid my car keys?", he may or may not have come up with some pretty bad excuses for his pranks.
(That was all they were, really. Just pranks. He was only eight, what did his pop expect? A guy got bored occasionally. Plus, it was hilarious to see the look on his face when he realized they were gone.)
So now, about seventy or so years later, when he noticed a certain preteen boy sitting in the kitchen where he was trying to stock up for the apocalypse, he panicked a little. The kid was always asking questions and though his attention was occupied by some weird disk in his hands (kids these days called them CDs...right?), Stan knew it was only a matter of minutes before the inquiry popped out of his mouth. After all, stocking cans of meat wasn't exactly something inconspicuous. If only he had thought to check if the kid was here before he had actually begun his task.
Stan took the route he usually took with people in this town: blatantly stating the obvious, though they probably didn't know it. People in this town were so dumb they literally fell for it every time, so nobody really suspected him of anything.
Until these twins came, that is.
"Stockin' meat for the apocalypse, doodly-doo. We're all gonna die..."
Amazingly, the kid made no comment. Dipper was too busy pacing with that darn disk (CD... or was it a DC? Why were there so many acronyms for simple things these days? Whatever had happened to records?) and mumbling under his breath. He was clearly distressed.
Stan wasn't good at talking to the boy, despite some of his actual genuine efforts - oh, and there definitely had been some where he had done it just to humor Mabel - but the sight of the pacing child was killing him. Something eating away inside of him, something he didn't understand...
"What's with the pacing, kid? You look even more freaked out than usual."
Dipper glanced over at his relative as he paused in his task of stocking up on canned meat to stare at the adolescent. A small sigh left his lips as he pondered telling Stan and he turned away.
"Um, I dunno... You wouldn't understand."
Stan had definitely heard that phrase before, mostly from his own mouth when he was young. For some reason those words triggered some weird instinct inside of him that screamed Talk to the kid! It was obvious his sister wasn't going to be able to help because she was off at that concert, so it was up to him.
Shoot. He had nothing better to do with his time anyway.
He grabbed the boy and pulled him into a kitchen chair, moving so that Dipper would see he had his great-uncle's full undivided attention. Popping open a soda lid, he said, "Aw, c'mon kid. Try me."
Dipper studied his expression for a minute before sighing and seeming to accept his fate. "Okay... This is gonna sound weird, but I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music."
In the elder man's head, something akin to ominous music reared up for mere moments before quieting.
"I've seen this before..."
And just like that, Stan Pines totally forgot what he was trying to hide from the preteen boy as he burst into a flashback.
Does this sound too dramatic? ...Aw, what the heck, it's Stan. This is probably exactly what his thoughts sound like. Hope you liked it!
(Go easy on the requests, everybody. I have far too many right now but I'm probably gonna start them all soon.)
