Chapter 56
Meryl ran two blocks before she slowed down and caught her breath. She knew July. She had spent her childhood wandering these streets. However, since the Terrans had tried to restore the place, she needed a map. She felt somewhat cheated having to rely on a piece of paper in her hometown. She pressed the fold of paper to the bottom of her pocket. She would use it only as a last resort. She wound her way up to the main road and took a deep breath. Walking along the road with its restored street fronts was eerie. It was almost as if nothing had changed. Only everything had. Water now poured from the sky. Inside the houses were different. It was an eerie, disconcerting experience. She walked half in a memory of dusty sun bleached streets, and half in the increasingly cold reality of the city the Terrans had restored. It was a pale mimic of a dream. Did they not understand they could not restore what was lost? She found she was too tired to be as furious as she wanted to be. She was glad of the rain. She could cry, as the skies were, until she was utterly spent. Then, when exhaustion dried her eyes, the skies would cry her sorrows for her.
She came to a halt, and stood for a long while, staring at a house on the opposite side of the road. Its frontage had been restored right down to the pots of tangled plants at the front door. There were lights on inside, and she could see adults and children within. If this was the dream the Terrans were rebuilding she wanted none of it. It drew too strongly on her memory. If she could but open the door, she would see her mother, and her father, and her brother. She folded her arms across her stomach and forced herself to walk on. Why did the Terrans love old things? There could be no hope dwelling on the past. She glanced back at the home she had known before she turned the corner of into a broad avenue. No. No hope. Yet that family had a future, she only prayed it would be better than the fate that had overtaken hers. She ran, why did more pain appear when she could hardly contain the pain she held?
She staggered up the avenue, to where the wealthy estates had once stood. They had looked out over the city, and even now, amid the rubble that covered the streets, they were a good vantage point from which to see the city. The Terrans had not got this far in their tidying. The destruction suited her darkening mood. However, up on the ridge, the buildings no longer sheltered her from the howling wind. She ducked her head and shivered as the water seeped through her cape. Who would have thought water could be so cold and heavy? She climbed up until she was on top of a broken wall, it was the best vantage point for iles. She could see three quarters of the city, two quarters of which were still rubble. It was then that the peculiar memory shuddered through her. She shivered, not from cold, as all her hair felt as if it stood on end. This was the place from Vash's memory. As calm as he had allowed her to become while facing it, he had not removed it. She still felt the anxious wash of terror and the helplessness at the disastrous loss of control. She squinted at the city. As bad as Vash's memory of July was; it was his memory. She shuddered as love and despair she felt intermingled. It was no use fighting the visions. She was not strong enough. Clenching her fist as if to maintain a grip on reality, she walked along the wall, then dropped down onto rubble. She checked the horizon every few paces as she proceeded through the broken rooms and devastated gardens. She then came to a halt. It was a tiled room, with almost no walls standing, save for where the ancient doorframe still propped up by bricks. She stood with her back to the door, yes. This was the last view Vash had had before his brother had stolen his power. She cringed and tore her eyes away from the city. The memories clawed at her mind, yet there was a limit, as if they had been corralled and allowed no further. She could not dwell on these memories. He had given her a chance to save herself from them; she would not waste that. She took a deep breath to steady the shivers of horror and shock that coursed through her. Find something else, she ferociously instructed herself. She clambered up onto the rubble beside the door and turned until she spotted the mesa ridges. She then stood staring out across the city to the desert. She stood where he had been then, and that was where he had been now.
A movement then caught her eye. She glanced down. It was an old rag, sodden by the rain, and caught by the wind. It reminded her of Vash's dusty sand cape, though it was darker in colour. She stared, and almost fell off the rubble in her haste to get down. There he sat, black hair slicked to his forehead, his eyes guardedly watching her from behind his yellow spectacles. He slouched against the rubble, mostly out of the worst of the driving rain. She wanted to shout at him, pummel him for all he was worth, and most of all demand why he hadn't come to find them.
"Meryl?" He whispered incredulously, as if she were the very last person he had ever expected to see. The astonished uncertainty in his voice was so unlike him that she undid her cape and draped it over him, then after two seconds of standing in the freezing rain, she hastily ducked in to sit beside him herself.
"Why are you up here?" Vash asked, drawing his knees up to shelter under her cloak.
"I was looking for you." Meryl said truthfully. "You have some fairly stark memories of this place."
Vash closed his eyes, the agony clear on his face.
Meryl nudged him hard in the ribs.
"Stop it. I found you because of it."
"Ow ow ow." He breathed.
"Are you hurt, or are you still queasy with the after effects of your plant powers?" Meryl worried.
"Queasy?" He laughed. "You've been spending too much time with the Terrans. I'm fine."
She gave him a level glare and his earnest smile became a guilty grin.
"How do you always know when I'm lying?" He pouted.
"Because you move like a grandpa with a hernia." She pointed out.
"Ow?" He cringed in sympathy with the illustration.
"C'mon. We need to get indoors before we're both frozen to the bone."
Vash found a fixed smile and looked out over July.
"Later." He said as if he wanted to admire the view.
"I never said we had to go back to Seeds or the Terrans."
He glanced at her.
"Meryl? What are you up to?"
"I know you, Vash the Stampede. You like to crawl away and recover on your own. I thought, perhaps this time, you wouldn't mind me along to make stew and change your bandages."
"And to write reports." He eyed her.
"Nope. Not part of Bernadelli any more. No camera either. Not even Fifth Moon. I don't know what I'll do. Run a doughnut stand or something."
Vash gave a snort of laughter.
"You! A doughnut stand! You'd scare all the customers away."
Meryl balled her fist, but having Vash shake with laughter beside her was very distracting.
"That's where you'd come in, charmer." She grouched at him.
"Us? Run away and have a doughnut stand." He exclaimed and laughed, though the laughter became exhausted panting. "What about Milly?"
"I'll ask Abe to distract her." Meryl said succinctly.
"Meryl. No." Vash said softly. "You know who and what I am."
"Oh yes I do." Meryl smiled at him. "That is no reason to leave; it just piles on the reasons to stay."
"But…"
Meryl rolled her eyes and shifted so that she could kneel up beside him. Thinking about this had always brought butterflies to her stomach, now there was only calm.
"Vash?"
He raised a black eyebrow over his pale aqua eye.
"I don't know if I'm ever going to get this opportunity again."
"Yep, sitting in the rain is very unusual." He remarked.
Meryl grabbed him by his shoulders. She was careful in her grip, he wore pins in both shoulders and it was sensitive there. She smiled at the bewildered confusion on his face and leaned in to kiss him. The alarm that flashed through his eyes as he brought up his arm between them was like a kick in the gut. He had reacted in panic, as his arm had curls of feathers protruding from it, his fingers covered in the same maze pattern.
"I am not human." His voice was hoarse with anxiety and sorrow.
She could not reach his face, but that did not stop her. She leaned in and kissed the feather tip. She felt her heart break as through her mind flashed all the times she had flinched from him in his angel form. She gasped, cringing at the hurt he had felt each time, and tears ran down her cheeks. The feathers suddenly vanished and he caught himself as he slumped backward.
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. Burying her face against him, he smelt of blood, sweat and that unidentifiable spicy scent she found so desirable. He tried to push her away, his hands folding around her upper arms.
"I know you are afraid of me." He murmured in gentle regret.
She clung on.
"Yes I am, but I love you more! Don't you get it? I watched you die twice. I cannot let you go again without telling you my feelings."
He slowly released the tension and stopped pushing her away. He splayed his hands around her arms, uncertainly. She felt him tentatively put his arms around her as if he could not quite believe it.
Milly watched Abe as he suddenly stared towards the hill around which July was built. His eyes flickered to Calor who was busy glaring at the map. Something had happened.
"I'm hungry, anyone want pudding?" Milly asked, knowing the only way he would tell her was without the others present.
"I'll pass." Calor said, while Panse and Luida shared a confused look about Milly's offer.
"I'll come chose my own." Abe volunteered and followed her out. Milly saw him glance back at Livio, the man had a slight knowing smile on his face as if he knew what was up.
They walked two flights of stairs before Abe spoke.
"Meryl found Vash." He whispered as if he feared the walls had ears.
"Let's go!" She exclaimed.
"That's the plan." Abe grinned, his voice still low. "Only we're the diversion. We'll meet back in December."
"Oh." Milly considered this. "Mister Vash does have a large bounty on his head. It will be good that Miss Meryl is with him to help him out of trouble."
Abe headed down the stairs smiling to himself. They found the pudding shop and Milly bought a good supply for the road as he bought more regular provisions for a few weeks road trip. It was then that Livio, driving an armoured car on treads, arrived outside the shop and pushed a door open in the rain.
"C'mon Milly."
She clambered in after Abe, to find the twins seated in the broad front seat with their father.
"Oh, you're here too!" She exclaimed. "Are you also going back to December?"
"Yes." Jasmine smiled. "But we have one detour to make."
Meryl was rather astonished that Vash was still there when she returned with several parcels, including fresh clothing for the both of them. She had expected him to walk off, leaving her to return to the small rented room alone. But she could hear him splashing around in the bathroom. She set the hot takeaways on the small table, and sat cleaning her derringers that had been soaked. Vash had reluctantly taken his gun, and it now lay on the table. She smiled. As reluctant as he had been, he had cleaned it before taking his shower.
She glanced up as the bathroom door opened and Vash put his head out, his black hair in complete disarray from him having rubbed it dry. He looked exhausted, but calmer than he had been on their walk down from the ruins. He took one sniff of the air and perked up.
"Doughnuts!" He exclaimed and crossed the room in three strides to where the doughnuts waited in their bag next to the dinner.
Meryl stared at him. He wore nothing but the towel around his waist. He was even scarred on his feet; she wondered how that had happened. Was he attacked in his sleep, or… she glanced up at him just in time to find him watching her out of the corner of his eye. He gave her a broad grin around the doughnut in his mouth.
"Mmmh-mmh!" From the tone, it was probably thank you.
"Leave some for me." She told him. "And there are clothes in the parcel there."
She stood under the shower warming up. She had been freezing in her wet clothes. Vash had strung several lengths of string across the bathroom to dry his own wet clothes, and she added hers to the lines. Now clean and dry, she walked out clad in a shirt, slacks and clean warm socks. Vash had found the clothing parcel, but had only got as far as putting on trousers before discovering both food and beer. He sat cross-legged on the end of the nearest bed eating his way through the meal. He had left about a third for her, and one can of beer.
"Mm, iff good!" He exclaimed and continued to eat.
Meryl sat down at the table, marvelling. He was still there. Why hadn't he left? She ate, watching his enthusiasm. He carefully put a doughnut next to her plate and then devoured the rest of the bag by himself. She was quite glad he had not put a shirt on, despite all those scars he was very well built and rather a pleasure to observe.
"Meryl."
Vash had been leaning back on the bed waiting for her to finish. She licked her fingers clean of the doughnut sugar.
"Thank you." He sounded sincere, and tired.
She stood up and even though it was only a few steps it felt like a hike of an ile. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach as she reached out and touched his cheek. She wanted to run her fingers down his chest, but did not yet have that courage. Neither did she have the courage to sit beside him on the bed. She grabbed a chair and pulled it over to beside his bed. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as she seated herself and fidgeted. She wanted to speak to him, but all words had suddenly fled. She felt as tired as he looked. She was a little startled when he then reached over and lightly touched her hair with his mechanical hand. She felt relief pour through her, he was still interested. That afternoon had not just been a quirk or sudden weakness of his.
His whole body ached. That was simply a backlash of his power use. It was uncomfortable to move, but it would ease in a few days. He had let her hug him, simply because he was so very weak. He did not have the strength to keep her at the distance he needed her to be to protect her. He had taken an extra long shower to think about her. All that had happened was that his mind had emptied of all rational thought except, warmth, tiredness and hunger. He had smelled the doughnuts through the door and had hurried out before realising he was not quite dressed. Meryl had responded with silence. This was so unlike her, he thought her shocked, then realised that something about him mesmerised her. If she was so tired so as to be silent, perhaps it would not hurt to stay while he felt so exhausted. Perhaps she needed help too.
She had emerged from the shower scented with that floral soap he could only smell on her for an hour or so after she had showered. She tucked into the meal, her eyes still on him. He remembered his manners and shared one doughnut. It was a wrench, but she had bought them, he owed her that much. She finished her meal neatly, and touched her fingers to her lips. Then with an easy grace, she stood, crossed the floor to him and shyly touched his cheek. He felt his lips part in a silent gasp as he felt both honoured and mortified. She had tried to kiss him before, and he had rejected it. He had had to; she knew the dangers surrounding him. Yet somehow, here he sat, with her in this room. Aching, exhausted, yet feeling warm and full because of her. And now she had renewed her advances, though more gently, using her fingers to transfer her kiss. He felt undone by that tenderness. He could not find his voice to speak.
She grabbed a nearby chair and came to sit near him, he could feel the warmth of her legs near his, and the elusive floral scent wafted over intoxicating him.
"Um, Vash." She mumbled, not meeting his eye, which only intrigued him. "I just want to say I understand. I know you can't have close friends or relationships because of how Knives just kills people."
He felt his heart clench at how scared he felt knowing that she knew that truth. Yet somehow his heart felt lighter. Was this what sharing a worry did?
"I know how lonely you are." She said softly.
He cringed inwardly; he had done his best not to let it show. She was not as sharp as Milly, but she certainly dug deeper than her partner when she discovered something.
"I just want you to know I do care." She said, then mumbled as her cheeks reddened to a very inviting rose. "I, do, ah, love you."
He stared at her helplessly as she fidgeted with her hands in her lap, her eyes not meeting his. He wanted to comfort her, perhaps a hug? Would she like a hug if the last time she had tried to hug him he had pushed her away? He panicked. What should he do? Girls had either avoided or thrown themselves at him. None had sat blushing and was she shivering slightly? Only, Meryl was out of their league. She had somehow wormed her way into his business, his life and as she sat there, his soul. He was suddenly very aware that a hug was only the beginning of what he wanted. Meryl fidgeted, tried to still her shivers and mumbled through her words all conspiring to drive him crazy.
"But," even her voice trembled, "I understand why you don't show it."
Show what? How lonely he was? How could he be lonely with her around?
She froze as in one swift movement he leaned over and took her face between his hands. Her skin was softer than he had dreamed. He kissed her, clumsily and urgently. A sharp gasp made him aware that perhaps he was being too rough. His lips burned as he pulled back panting and blinking.
She was gazing at him with a strange kind of wide eyed calm in her eyes. The shivers had stopped, as had the fidgeting. He smiled then, trying to cram the overwhelming emotions he felt into out of the way so that he could think rationally. All that happened was remorse and sorrow washed in, flooding over the peculiar ecstasy her lips had brought him.
"I'm s-sorry." He whispered, he was the one shaking now.
"Well I'm not!" She declared and stood up.
He gaped at her in panic and alarm as she leaned over him. She somehow worked her small fingers through his hair, sparking off ripples of electric warmth across his body. Then she kissed him, and closed her eyes with a pleasure so private he felt himself blush. He recognised that delight and desire. He felt it himself. It was as if a dam had broken, and he let himself be taken by the torrent of desire and pleasure. He kissed her in return. Not urgently or rushed as he had before, but lingering, questing for more. She leaned back and he placed his hands on her neck, her fingers shifting and he marvelled at how soft his skin was. She explored his shoulders with those small hands of hers. How did she make her fingertips burn so?
"Vash the Stampede, plant, brother to Knives and adopted son of Rem Saverem, that is not all who you are."
He stared at her; he had never heard her talk like this. She sounded furious yet, the way her fingers stroked him was gentle.
"You are a protector, lover and my second best friend."
"Second best friend?" He protested, he had been about to call her on the lover, as that was too new to be spoken aloud, but the friend statement was just an indignity.
"After Milly of course." She said as if it were a matter of fact.
"Er, are you and Milly…" He asked, suddenly cold with worry.
"No, you idiot. We're just friends. On the level of friends, you are second, always. As a lover, you are first."
Vash puzzled over this, reflecting on his relationship with Wolfwood, and now Livio and the aggravating Abe, then he laughed. He understood, and it made him feel a great deal better, though it didn't make what to do with Meryl any clearer. She confused matters even more by leaning over and kissing him again. She had a buttoned shirt on and he had an excellent view of what she thought was covered. He smiled, and kissed her back, liking how she let him take more.
"Good night, Vash." She drew away from him. "If you want any cuddles and kisses, come to me; don't go hunting among the other girls that cross your way."
She ruffled his hair in a surprisingly pleasurable manner and walked across to the other bed.
Vash sat on his bed staring her as she lifted the sheets and climbed into the bed fully clothed. His shoulders tingled where she had touched him, and he could taste her on his lips. Goodness, now he was so wide-awake, he would never get to sleep, and he needed to sleep. He was so tired it was an effort to sit upright. No, despite the rather excellent invitation, he would have to decline. However, with Meryl, one did have to do things directly, or she would get vocal. He would give her a goodnight kiss. He pushed himself to his feet and shuffled his way across to the door. He put out the lights, but left the bathroom lamp on and the door slightly ajar. He caught her watching him, as he stretched gingerly, wincing slightly at new injuries. She yawned and snuggled down comfortably as he did some more stretches to work out the kinks in his muscles. He heard her breathing deepen as she fell asleep. Vash walked silently across to her bed, leaned over and kissed her still damp hair. He took a moment to breathe in her scent. She smelt so good. He fell into his own bed with his back to her, sleep coming slowly.
Milly was dozing and the twins had fallen asleep shortly after the sun had set. They drove on through the night. Livio and Abe kept up a murmured conversation and Milly only caught snippets
"That Terran, Panse has our back, as does Luida from Seeds." Livio murmured. "I'd watch Calor, she is a wild card."
"She won't turn us over to the Terrans. But I would not trust her with too much. Her loyalty was to Meryl, and Meryl isn't directing anyone right now, so she might go her own way. It's the other Terrans that will be our biggest problem. They will be keen to catch us."
Livio made a deeply unpleasant sound in the back of his throat.
"They are welcome to try." He said in a voice silky with menace, as if he almost welcomed the opportunity to unleash mayhem.
"I think I'll stick around then." Abe murmured, pleased. "I truly love this planet. We're free to live by the rules of the heart."
"Love and peace." Milly murmured sleepily as their conversation mingled with her dream.
There was silence.
"He really gets to people." Abe sighed enviously.
"Yes he does." Livio said with a grin. "And the difference is night and day."
Brad stared out of the ships window as they flew above the rain clouds buffeted by turbulence. The whole area for several iles around July was blanketed in thick cloud. Then the clouds thinned and the upper air currents became still once more.
"All that water." Luida breathed in awe.
"It'll mess the ecosystem up." Calor grouched. "The idiot didn't know what he was doing."
"Oh, I don't know." Brad said for once grudgingly proud of Vash. "This will get everyone's attention stuck on Lost July. Idiocy is his bluff. I think Luida was right about Octovern being the place we'll find the plants, but we won't find Vash there."
Panse leaned against the wall beside them, not looking out at the clouds.
"Calor, you do realise that if any Terrans investigate that burned out ship, they will realise he teleported."
"Perhaps." Calor said, wondering what he was angling at.
"There's going to be an even bigger cry for his head after this. No Man's Land has been clamouring for two years that Vash the Stampede isn't the threat Knives was. But with that action he just took command of a fused entity."
"He was protecting the plants." Calor interrupted defensively.
"We know that." Panse said. "But no Terran can ignore it, intergalactic law states that any plant who tries that is to be shuttered. That's more than a limiting chip, it's a gate limiter. Enough energy to survive, but not enough to live. I've seen the wretches who live under that sentence; Mutare has a better life than they."
Calor eyed Panse, he was telling her that he'd help them in his capacity to keep Vash free.
"You know," Brad observed, "no disrespect, but the more I hear of Earth, the more I am glad that your rescue mission failed."
Panse nodded and Calor stared at the sands outside, her eyes troubled.
"There they go." She murmured, watching a steadily moving armoured car head across the desert in the direction of the city of Octovern.
Meryl woke the next morning to the tantalising smell of fried egg and bacon. She opened her eyes to find Vash riding a chair, and eating breakfast with a fork. He was dressed in his red coat and had done his hair in its usual spiky style. She stared, if she had thought him a pleasure to observe the night before, it was nothing on his fully clothed self. There was just something about the way he wore that red coat of his, it made her want to find a way to return the pleasure he gave her by existing moment by moment.
"Mornin'!" He called, noticing she was awake. It was still dark out. "The steamer leaves at dawn, and it's half an hour walk to the dock."
"How long do I have?" She yawned.
"Er, two minutes?"
"Two minutes!" She exclaimed, and stumbled out of bed. "Vash!" She snapped irritably at him.
"H-hey, I bought us breakfast!"
She stopped at the bathroom door and stared at him, realising what she was seeing. Vash had not sneaked off on his own. He had waited for her. He had even considered that she might be hungry and tired and had let her sleep. She fought with her pride for a moment, but it roundly lost to her desire. She walked slowly over to him and he smiled as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It was a small peck of a kiss. She then hurried back to the bathroom before he could get any ideas and make them later than she was sure to do.
