Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Harry Potter Universe. It all belongs to the Queen, J.K.
Beta Love: Dreamingofstars85
A/N: So now you will see why I had to split the last two chapters when really they could have gone together as one—but an 11k chapter is a little unnecessary, LOL. So here you go, part two! I hope you guys like it!
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Hermione said Fuck
[Recap]
When they arrived on the doorstep, Hermione turned to Draco, more nervous than she ever thought she would be to see the Order. She still didn't know who would be there… if Harry would be there.
"It will be fine, Hermione," Draco said, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before letting it go entirely.
Hermione nodded and knocked on the door, holding her breath.
A moment later, the door was pulled open and Remus stood before her. His expression changed the moment he locked eyes on her, to surprise and confusion, though she couldn't understand why.
"Remus, I—hi."
He looked between them a few times and then cleared his throat. "Hermione, Draco, come in. Minerva is in the kitchen." He turned and led the way to the kitchen, not saying anything else.
Confused, Hermione's heart sank. She wasn't prepared to face Remus after the last time she had seen him. After what he saw. And she didn't understand his surprise in seeing her, them.
Draco placed his hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her toward where Remus had gone. One foot in front of the other she thought. Squaring her shoulders, Hermione reached back and took Draco's hand, looking up at him.
"Are you sure?"
"Of everything I've done, I don't think this," she held up their joined hands, "is going to be the deal breaker."
He rolled his eyes but squeezed her hand. She turned and walked into the kitchen, Draco right behind her. Professor McGonagall was standing stiffly near the counter and Remus was next to her, waiting for them. Neither looked entirely welcoming, and Hermione was quickly beginning to fear how this meeting would go.
She stopped several feet from Professor McGonagall, standing in front of her and gripping Draco's hand like the lifeline that it was. The Professor briefly glanced down at their linked hands and then back up to Hermione, raising an eyebrow and looking her over for a moment, before visibly relaxing. "Thank Merlin, child, you're ok," she said, her relief evident. She closed the gap between them with two long strides and pulled Hermione into a tight hug.
Pure relief. "I'm ok, Professor," she repeated, her voice thick with emotion.
When she finally let her go, the Professor gestured to the table. "Minerva is fine, Hermione. Let's have a seat."
Hermione, Draco and Professor McGonagall sat at the table and Remus gathered a set of tea that had been prepared and waiting on the counter. The house was warm and Hermione shrugged out of Finn's jacket, draping it over the back of her chair. She accepted the tea Remus handed her and waited for him to sit down.
"I thought there would be… others here," she said as Remus joined them. She didn't even attempt to hide her disappointment knowing it would have been useless.
Professor McGonagall nodded. "We told the others the meeting wasn't for another half hour. We need to talk privately first."
"I suppose we probably do, Professor," she said with a small nod. She sipped at her tea trying to calm her nerves. This was it. Either they accepted what she had done, or they didn't.
"Please Hermione, call me Minerva," she said again, placing her hands in her lap and looking between Hermione and Draco. "Why don't you fill us in. What—what happened after you were separated from Harry?"
Hermione sighed deeply, closing her eyes for a moment. She knew they would ask this but that still didn't prepare her for retelling—reliving—those first weeks. Draco rubbed his thumb across her hand underneath the table and she could feel him looking at her. They were all looking at her.
It took less time than she thought, describing her capture, torture, imprisonment, and the last couple months of her life. She left out some—most—of the details, not wanting pity or excessive questions. Not wanting to see their horror as she told them the things she had done. She did talk about Finn but didn't mention how they first met. When she got up to the night of the Ministry takeover, she tensed up, her eyes unable to look at either Minerva or Remus, feeling ashamed and not sure what to say.
"Remus already told us, Hermione," Minerva said with a tight voice. She was neither stern or understanding. "Please, explain yourself."
She took a deep breath. "That man was going to kill the one person who had protected me the last four months. I'm sorry, but I couldn't let that happen."
Draco sat even taller if that was possible. Hermione saw him look Remus in the eye for a long moment before he turned to Minerva and spoke in a firm, unyielding voice. "Everyone was watching her that night. There is no way she could have done anything else and kept her cover."
"Yes, but—" Minerva tried to argue but was cut off.
"No buts," Draco said. "That night was a test for Hermione. Her own life was on the line if she didn't pass. She did what she had to do."
Hermione looked up and met Draco's eye when he turned to her. She didn't know if that bit was true, about it having been a test for her, but she was thankful he'd said it.
Minerva pursed her lips and nodded, clearly not entirely pleased, but accepting it… for now.
Hermione looked at Remus, whose expression was disappointed yet soft. "I don't like it, but I understand," he said very quietly. "When I—it was the same when I was with the packs. I had to make choices I didn't like, choices that haunt me to this day, in order to keep my cover. In order to survive."
She nodded, thankful that at least one person in the Order would truly understand
"Alright," Minerva said, moving on. "So now you're living on your own? Is that how you are finally able to leave?"
Before she could answer, a whoosh came from the living room, the floo suddenly activating. The small house was quickly filled with chatter as people came through the fireplace. Hermione immediately picked out Harry's voice, and then a moment later, Fred and George, Molly, and then there were too many to distinguish. She felt knots in her stomach again as her nerves came back tenfold.
She barely registered Remus whispering to Draco as she stood up from the table. "You'd better wait in the other room. They're all going to take a Wizard's Oath before they see you."
Draco must have agreed, as he squeezed Hermione's arm before turning and leaving the room. The twins could clearly be heard again, joking and laughing. Their voices drew nearer, louder, as they approached. When Harry finally appeared in the doorframe of the kitchen, he stopped abruptly, immediately quiet, and Hermione was sure she was going to pass out from nerves.
Seeing Harry again was both incredibly relieving and terribly paralyzing. It seemed like minutes passed as they stared at each other, but it couldn't have been more than a few seconds. The rest of the chatter in the house died away as everyone saw her in the kitchen, but Hermione couldn't tell you who else was standing there behind Harry. When his expression finally changed and he ran toward her, Hermione cried out in relief. He picked her up into his arms, holding on so tightly it almost hurt.
She didn't care. She was probably holding onto him just as tightly.
"Hermione," he breathed out.
She could hear the strain in his voice and knew he was crying just as much as she was. Her body was shaking with the emotion spilling out of her. All she could feel was Harry, holding her again, and she felt like she was home.
"You're ok, you're ok, you're ok." He whispered it like it was a mantra. Harry finally set her feet back on the ground but he didn't let her go. He pulled back from her a little, his hands moving to either side of her face and holding her steady there. He looked into her eyes, his own wet with tears. "I'm so sorry, Hermione."
She shook her head, sniffling. "It's not your fault, Harry."
The first thing she heard aside from Harry's words was Molly, loudly weeping and telling Arthur that 'Our Hermione is back!'
That seemed to be the thing that broke the quiet. It was hushed whispers at first, but they quickly turned to loud exclamations and soon everyone was surrounding Hermione, trying to hug her, trying to speak to her. Harry never let her hand go, even as she hugged the twins, Tonks, Molly, Arthur, Sirius, and lastly Ron, to her surprise.
When everyone finally settled down a bit, Harry gently dragged Hermione to the table, sitting down and pulling her to sit in the chair next to him.
Molly was bustling about the kitchen, getting everyone tea and setting out some food. Minerva and Remus were quietly talking with Sirius and Kingsley at the back of the room, and everyone else was gathered around the table, all seeming to speak at once. She hadn't been sure that she would ever get to be here again—surrounded by her friends, her family. And it felt good. It felt like home.
But it also felt like something was missing; he was waiting in the other room.
It was unsettling how prominent Draco had become in her life in less than a year, but that was a thought for another time. Preferably a time when she could cope with her thoughts and feelings with copious amounts of firewhisky.
Bringing her focus back to the noisy room full of people she hadn't seen in months, Hermione was nervous again. Once the overwhelming joy of seeing her again was tampered down, reality would strike. They would have to discuss things. They would have to hear what had happened to her, what she had done. They would have to be in the same room as Draco, and somehow get over their childhood rivalry and accept that he was a part of the Order.
A part of her.
"I'm so sorry, 'Mione. If I had only been there, if I hadn't left, then… I can't help but feel like this is all my fault."
"It's not your fault, Ron. I'm just glad you found your way back," she said, smiling at him.
Harry squeezed her hand.
Fred clapped her on the shoulder. "Good to have you back, Granger!"
"For a group of people who literally have the word eaters in their name, they sure don't look like they've been feeding you," George said.
Molly smacked him with the tea towel.
He rubbed his head where the sting had landed. "Ow, mum! Only trying to lighten the mood!"
"Well don't!" she scolded. "Hermione, dear, have a biscuit," Molly said, setting a plate of biscuits on the table in front of them. "You do look far to thin."
"Thank you, Mrs Weasley."
"Looks like you've been here a while," Harry said, looking down at her nearly empty teacup and then at the other three cups on the table.
Hermione nodded. "About half an hour."
"What? You told us the meeting started at half past five?" Harry turned to Minerva and glared.
Remus is the one who answered, stepping toward the table and picking up one of the chocolate biscuits. "We had some things to discuss privately first."
The room fell silent. Hermione couldn't bear to look at anyone, so she focused on the biscuit she had grabbed to placate Molly, picking it to pieces rather than eating it.
Minerva cleared her throat and stepped forward to address the group. "Hermione has been filling Remus and me in on some of the… details of the last several months. Unfortunately, they aren't pretty. Before we discuss anything further, I'm going to have to ask you all to make a Wizard's Promise.
"What? Why?" Ron asked. "Isn't being in the Order enough?"
"Not this time, Mr Weasley. It's imperative that what we are about to tell you all stays a secret, even within the Order. More than just Hermione's life depends on it.
There was a murmur that ran through the group, and Hermione watched as Harry eyed the empty cups on the table again. When he looked up at her she knew that he'd at least figured out part of it—someone was here with her.
He stood up and walked to Remus, sticking his hand out to grip the other man's. With a nod of his head, Remus began the oath, and it wasn't long before everyone in the room was making their way to do the same.
"How are you here now?" Ron asked her as Remus was finishing up with Arthur and Molly, the last ones left to make the promise.
"It's sort of a long story, but I'm… I've sort of been released. I'm not living at the manor any longer.
"That doesn't make sense," he said, shaking his head. "If they've let you go then why are we in this random safehouse, why aren't you coming to—"
Remus cleared his throat and looked at Hermione. "Ready?"
She took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm sorry," she said quietly to Harry before standing from her chair and pacing, trying to find the best place to start.
"I—as you know, Professor McGonagall… Minerva, asked me to join the Order shortly after Professor Dumbledore died. I hated lying to you, I want you to know that." Her voice was far from steady as she began to spill the truth she'd been holding from them for so long. "I was immediately given an assignment, working with another student. They taught me Occlumency, which ended up saving my life on more than one occasion. We worked together most nights the last few weeks of school and into the summer. The intention was that I would be a safe way to pass along information to the Order without them being seen constantly speaking with known Order members. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as planned."
"I need you all to remain calm, and know that everyone in this house is, and has been, a member of the Order, alright? Longer than most of you have been, even," she said, pointedly looking at Ron and Harry.
"Bloody hell, Mione, just tell us!" Ron said, already impatient.
Hermione looked at Remus and nodded her head. "Ok, Remus," she said, moving toward where he stood and very casually placing her hand on her holster so that she could pull her wand out in a split second.
All eyes were on Remus as he walked down the small hallway off the kitchen. Hermione adjusted herself so that she was standing just in front of the hallway, her body angled so that she was in front of the entrance to the hallway and watching everyone seated at the table. It was easy to hear the old door creak open just out of sight down the hall in the dead silence of the kitchen.
Hermione's heart was beating rapidly as she turned her head and watched Remus walk back into the kitchen. Just a few seconds behind him, Draco stepped into the room.
Wands were immediately drawn and chairs knocked over as bodies jumped to stand, shouting and yelling at the unexpected guest.
Ron, closest to where they stood, had his wand was shoved to the forefront and aimed at Draco. Hermione reflexively shouted "Expelliarmus!", a quick and utterly unexpected move that had the wood flying from Ron's grasp and landing several feet away on the floor.
"What the fuck Hermione?" Ron shouted at her angrily, hastily bending to pick up the fallen wand.
"Just, stop, everyone stop!" Hermione tried to be heard over the yelling but was unsuccessful. Ron's wand was back in his hand, pointed first at Draco but then moving to be pointed at Hermione as well, quickly alternating between the two who had their wands drawn defensively against the rest of the Order members in the room.
Apparently, that threat pissed Draco off. He shoved himself in front of Hermione, his own wand now threateningly aimed at Ron. "Put that fucking thing down, Weasel, or I'll—"
"You'll what, Malfoy? You're outnumbered here!"
"That doesn't mean I couldn't—"
"ENOUGH!" The magnified voice of Minerva rang sharply around the room, causing everyone to pause momentarily, though no a single person lowered their wands.
"Mister Malfoy, lower your wand immediately!" she ordered, her voice back to its normal volume but as stern as ever. Minerva turned to face the rest of the hostile Order members. "That goes for the rest of you as well! Stand down!"
Fred and George both lowered their wands, standing down when ordered to do so. The adults hadn't drawn wands, though they all had their hands hovering over where their wands were holstered. Hermione had lowered her wand already and was trying to push Draco's arm down so that he was no longer physically blocking her from the rest of the room. He seemed determined to protect her, however.
She gave up and watched as Harry took in the scene before him. When his eyes met hers they held for a long moment before he reluctantly lowered his wand, though his posture remained defensive.
"Mister Malfoy! Mister Weasley!" Minerva demanded, clearly on her last nerve.
"You first, ferret," Ron spat. His face was red with anger and his wand was shaking as his body readied itself for a fight.
"Not a fucking chance, not while you're still aiming your wand at Hermione."
"I'm not aiming it at Hermione!"
Draco hadn't moved a muscle, still prepared to duel in a moments notice. "Then why are you still pointing it at her?"
Hermione was entirely fed up with their posturing and ridiculous rivalry. Rather than trying to shove it down again, she instead quickly ducked under Draco's outstretched arm, moving to stand directly between the two.
Draco immediately lowered his wand.
"Put it down, Ron," she said, exasperated.
He looked between them several times before huffing and finally lowering his wand. "Since when did you—" She saw the comprehension dawn on him, incredulity twisting his expression. "No, Hermione, no, don't tell me you believe that wanker is on our side?"
Before another outburst could occur, Remus stepped into the middle of the room, placing a steadying hand on Ron's shoulder. "Let's sit down and Hermione can explain everything."
"This is unbelievable," Ron muttered angrily as he allowed Remus to steer him back to the table.
Hermione was afraid to look at Harry as everyone moved to sit at down again. The only sounds in the room were that of scraping chairs and fabric rustling as everyone silently took their seats. Remus rearranged the chairs so that there were two at the end of the table closest to where they stood. Draco held the first out for Hermione before taking his own next to her.
Once everyone was seated, Minerva spoke up. "Everything Hermione has told you so far is true. I asked her to join the Order so that Mister Malfoy would be able to less suspiciously pass information along—"
"Because there's nothing suspicious about Malfoy and Hermione suddenly having a chat," Fred said under his breath, earning him a snack to the back of his head from Molly.
"So suspicious that not a single person noticed we spent nearly every evening together for weeks," Draco drawled with a roll of his eyes.
"As I was saying," Minerva continued, "Hermione's instructions were simple: work with Mister Malfoy, learn Occlumency, and tell no one. Because of the nature of the situation, it was imperative that no one found out about Mister Malfoy's connection to the Order." Minerva turned to Hermione and nodded once.
Hermione swallowed thickly as she looked at the faces around the table. Most looked curious and surprised. Ron looked furious and Harry… Harry looked somehow both betrayed and understanding. Draco subtly reached out and held her hand under the table, squeezing it in silent support.
"I guess I should start from the beginning again?"
"Yes, you'd better," Minerva agreed.
"Do they know about Rodolphus?"
Minerva looked briefly taken by surprise. It seemed as though she'd had the fortune of being able to forget that little tidbit. "No, no," she said quietly, shaking her head.
Hermione closed her eyes, gathering her strength. Going over the details of the last several months of her life just once was taxing, but she would have to do it twice today and all she really wanted was a drink. So many secrets and revelations were being brought to light today. Draco released her hand so she opened her eyes to watch him. As if he'd been able to read her mind, he reached into his robes, pulling out a flask and handing it to her.
Grateful, Hermione took a long drink of the now familiar firewhisky, desperately wishing she could pull courage from the bottle.
She screwed the cap back on but didn't give the flask back. When she looked up, everyone at in the room, save Draco, was giving her a variation of the same look; a mix of curiosity and judgement. Ignoring it, she swept her gaze across each person seated at the table.
"As I said before, Minerva asked me to join the Order as a liaison, if you will, just after the funeral. She swore me to secrecy before she told me anything, so I honestly know how you all feel right now. When she told me the spy I'd be working with was Draco, I think I laughed. I didn't believe her, that was for sure, but eventually, she convinced me, and I agreed to at least try. I had to learn Occlumency, and I had to do it quickly. It wasn't easy at first, we fought, I tried to quit, but after a while, we were able to… put aside our differences and put our work for the Order first."
Hermione bit her lip and looked around the table, gauging everyone's reactions. Most looked fairly neutral: Tonks and Sirius both looked like they already forgave her, and Ron still looked bloody pissed. She subconsciously scratched her forearm and continued talking, dreading the reactions to what she was about to disclose.
"When… One morning, I walked into our lesson expecting it to be the same as usual at that point. I was instead surprised to see Professor McGonagall waiting for me—" She couldn't find the words to explain such a life-changing moment. How did you tell anyone, let alone a room full of people, that your whole life had been a fabricated lie? Just rip the plaster off, Hermione, she thought. "The short version is that Rodolphus Lestrange is my biological father, my mother died when I was born, I was hidden with obliviated muggles and Bellatrix was hoping to kill me," she said quickly, in one long breath.
"That's one way to do it," Draco whispered under his breath beside her.
"Rodolphus?" Sirius asked. "But not Bellatrix?"
"Not Bellatrix. She still hates me," Hermione said with a shrug.
"Does that mean I should call you cousin, then?" Sirius said with a smirk.
"Hermione is fine, Sirius. Besides, it doesn't really count since it's by marriage."
He winked. "It all counts, Kitten."
Ron looked like she had been speaking another language the whole time. "But, why would they give you to muggles?"
"Rodolphus placed me with muggles so that Bellatrix wouldn't kill me."
"But why would—ow!"
Fred had elbowed Ron but it didn't seem to dissuade him from prodding. "So, you're a pureblood now then?"
Draco rolled his eyes dramatically. "She's always been a pureblood, you moron."
"No one asked you, Malfoy!"
"Yes, Ron. Not that it matters, really. Other than the fact it saved my life."
He still wasn't done. "How did it—"
"If you would just let me continue, you'll bloody find out!" she snapped, tired of his interruptions.
He looked like she'd slapped him, but sat back in his chair and stayed quiet.
"Anyway, that is the only truly important piece of information you need to know up until the graveyard. When I was captured they brought me back to Malfoy Manor, although I didn't know it at the time. I was in and out of consciousness at first; I'd lost a lot of blood. The Dark Lord was there, as well as several others I couldn't name. I was tortured for information and then thrown into a cell. I wasn't killed simply because Rodolphus asked me to be spared, and Finn went easy on the torture. They kept me in that cell for weeks—"
"Months," Draco interrupted. "They kept her there for months."
"Like you even cared," Ron sneered.
Hermione grabbed Draco's hand underneath the table, silently begging him to just let it go. This was already hard enough without the two of them breaking into fights every other sentence. Ignoring Ron, she continued.
"Draco and Finn kept me alive, healing me and bringing food and water. At one point, Bellatrix tried to kill me, and shortly after I was released from the cells. The weeks following my release I lived in the main portion of the manor under near-constant watch, though I don't think it was quite what the Dark Lord had intended. I spent the time continuing my occlumency studies, learning duelling techniques, and physically training. It was more or less house arrest and honestly could have been a lot worse."
"Who was watching you?" Kingsley asked.
"Finn."
He raised her eyebrows. "The same Finn who tortured you?"
"He didn't exactly have a choice," she shrugged.
Tonks cleared her throat. "And who is Finn?"
"Thorfinn Rowle," Draco answered.
"I went to school with him, big guy, smart, though he didn't like to let that on. Not bad on the eyes either, if I remember right," she said with a wink.
"Nymphadora!" Molly chastised, turning to glare at the witch.
"Anyway," Hermione said, choosing to ignore both of the women's statements. "That basically sums up the last few months for me, until…until the Ministry," she finished quietly, nervous.
"Why were you even there, 'Mione?" Ron asked in a contemptuous tone.
Hermione levelled him with as condescending a look as she could manage. "When the Dark Lord orders you to do something, Ronald, you do it. Unless you want to die, which I assure you, I do not."
"But why were you fighting? You didn't have to actually fight us."
"She was being watched, you buffoon. It was a bloody test. Besides, if she had just stood there, one of you lot would have killed her," Draco said, clearly as fed up with Ron's blaming questions as she was.
"Why don't you just explain what happened, Kitten," Sirius said, cutting Ron off from another sure to be accusatory question.
Hermione sighed and closed her eyes briefly. This was it. Either they accepted what she'd done, what she'd had to do, or they didn't. And if they couldn't accept this, then there was no question whether or not they would be able to accept the rest of what she had done, and would have to do in the future.
"As Draco said, it was a test. Outsiders may not be able to tell individual Death Eaters apart when they are cloaked and masked, but they can tell who is who. All eyes were on me. Everything I did that night was being watched, stored away for later reporting to the Dark Lord. Draco and I were separated and in my search for him, I saw Remus. And then I saw that man, about to kill Finn. I—I had to save him. Not only because I was being watched, but because he is my friend, and—"
Ron scoffed loudly. "So now your buddy-buddy with the ferret and friends with scum Death Eaters? What the fuck, Hermione? Do you even hear yourself?"
"Don't you dare talk about things you don't understand, Ron! You don't know what it was like for me, alright? You don't know what it's like to be captured and tortured and to realise that your only way to survive is to play along, to infiltrate, and to become one of them. To make them believe that you are on their side. To have days where you wish you had died rather than have to play along. The only way for me to get out alive was to convince them that I was one of them. My only option if I wanted to live was to become a spy. It took months of torture, and near death, and playing along, and coming to grips with who I have to be now, and training for something I never wanted, and living a life I never wanted, and people literally offering to buy me just so they could have me as their slave-wife, and assault, and—"
Draco gently placed his hand on her forearm, silently bringing her back to the moment. She was breathing heavily and angry. How dare he try to blame her for this! She hadn't wanted any of this! And he was the one who had left, for fuck's sake! He was the one who ran away!
"I did what I had to do to survive. Did that involve killing a man? Unfortunately, yes. But it also involved saving one. And I won't be sorry for that."
Remus cleared his throat, bringing the attention of the room to him, and allowing Hermione a moment to collect herself. "Minerva and I have already discussed this particular incident with Hermione and Draco, and whatever happened, it kept her cover and we can't fault her for that. It was a test and she had no choice."
"You always have a choice," Ron said under his breath but loud enough that everyone heard.
"So you would rather she had died instead then?" Draco spat, looking challengingly at Ron.
"Shut your fucking mouth, Death Eater ferret!"
Draco jumped to his feet, as did Ron. They were close enough already that the action put them nearly chest to chest, and there was enough adrenaline and aggravation lingering in the room that within seconds the two were gripping each other's robes, yelling and threatening bodily harm.
Hermione had jumped up almost as quickly as Draco had, and was already pushing both him and Ron apart, a hand on each man's chest as she tried to quell the fight. It was a testament to just how riled up and furious they were that neither had thought to draw their wands and had immediately gone to physically fighting.
"STOP IT!" she yelled, desperately trying to force the two apart.
In the blink of an eye, the situation changed. Hermione had her hands on each man's chest and Ron reached out trying to push her arm down in an attempt to better reach Draco. Ready for the attempt, Hermione's arm did not budge from where it was gripping the fabric of Ron's robes. His hand instead slid up her arm, bringing the sleeve of her shirt with it and exposing several inches of her forearm.
Ron recoiled almost immediately. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" he yelled, disgusted and even angrier than before if that were possible.
Before she could pull away completely, Ron grabbed her arm and roughly yanked her sleeve up, revealing the Dark Mark now glaring against the skin there. Once the inky stain was fully on display, Ron dropped her arm as if burned. "You're one of them!" He gave her one last searing look of loathing before turning and storming out of the room. Within seconds the swoosh of the Floo could be heard, and then silence.
"George, Fred," Molly said in a hushed urgency. "Go and find him."
The twins didn't move for a moment, but when Molly snapped her fingers at them they quickly left the room, the Floo signalling their departure.
Horrified expressions met her around the room and she quickly pulled the sleeve of her shirt back down, covering the offending mark. Her stomach sank. This was not how she had wanted to tell them.
Very slowly, Sirius approached her, gently patting her shoulder. "Let's all just sit down," he said. "You'd better explain this, Kitten."
It took much less time than she would have thought, detailing what she was sure had been the death of her soul. Glossing over the initiation ceremony, Hermione quietly told the remaining Order members about the night she had been marked and what had led up to that. When she was finished, it was dead silent for several long moments. Finally, when Hermione was mentally preparing herself to just get up and leave, Sirius spoke up.
"I wouldn't claim to have an in-depth knowledge of Death Eater customs, but I was under the impression that newly marked members had to spend the first bit of their time living at the manor?"
Hermione was grateful when Draco answered for her because she actually wasn't sure if that was true or not.
"No, you're right. Most who are marked are given a room in the manor so that they can be constantly watched, trained, and tested. However, due to certain… circumstances, Hermione was allowed to skip that."
"So where are you living now?" Molly asked.
"And what circumstances?" Remus added.
"We are staying at Finn's for now, but I'm not sure what will be allowed…" she paused, looking at Draco before finishing her sentence. "Later."
Harry's brow rose and he spoke up for the first time since Draco had come out. "What do you mean, 'later'? What was that look for?"
"The Dark Lord is planning on using me to further his following," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "His idea is that by making one of Harry Potter's friends a public figure in his regime that he will be able to influence more people in his way of thinking. He has this whole elaborate plan. But in order to stay safe and not accept any contracts earlier than planned, it was easiest for me to just get out of the manor."
Minerva stepped forward, looking worried. "What is this plan of his? Exactly how is he going to use you to gain further influence?"
"And what did you mean by contracts?" Sirius asked, suspiciously.
"The only kind of contracts that are presented to a woman," Draco said with disdain.
"Marriage," Sirius said flatly.
"You have to get married?" Harry asked. "But that's ridiculous!"
Hermione shrugged. "Not my first choice of life path."
"But to who? When?"
Hermione bit her lip, suddenly glad that Ron was not here for this part.
Draco seemed to sense her hesitancy. "It's not entirely worked out yet, the Dark Lord is still working through plans," he said.
"It's you," Remus said quietly from where he stood near the counter.
Hermione looked up at him and was met with an expression mixing sympathy, confusion, and understanding.
"They can't force you to get married! You're children!" Molly huffed.
The room was suddenly filled with everyone's voices, all saying something or another about the situation. Molly was adamant that she was far too young, Harry was trying to suggest that she just run away and go into hiding with the Order, Tonks said something along the lines of at least it isn't Dolohov, and the rest was too hard to make out. Remus continued to look at her and Draco with that same expression and it was making her more nervous than all the chatter and speculation going on around them.
"Look, obviously it's not ideal," Hermione finally said, growing tired.
"Not ideal? Not ideal?! Harry asked, obviously angry.
"Better than marrying the man who tries to rape her and wants to possess her like property," Draco spat.
"What?" Harry turned to Draco, pale and shocked.
Hermione smacked Draco's arm, wishing he hadn't brought that up.
"What?" he asked with a shrug. "It's true."
"Someone tried to, to rape you?" Harry said quietly, his focus entirely on Hermione as if there was no one else in the room.
"I—Harry," she stopped, closing her eyes. She shook her head slightly, almost in defeat, and sighed. "A lot has happened, Harry."
"What kind of marriage, Kitten," Sirius asked grimly.
She turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. He repeated himself, his voice low and menacing, though she knew it wasn't meant to be directed at her. "What kind of marriage." He enunciated each word slowly.
Hermione shook her head. "What do you—"
Draco cut her off, his voice flat and resigned. "He'll insist on an Old Magic bonding ceremony."
Sirius growled and turned on his heel. He walked a few steps and then suddenly kicked a small side table, sending it flying into the hallway.
"What does that mean?" Harry asked, clearly as confused as Hermione. "What is that?"
"It means it's permanent, Potter. Our magic will be permanently bound together. It's not a marriage that can be rescinded at a later date," Draco said quietly.
"It's an Old Magic contracted bond that requires consummation at least once every six months. Until one of them dies," Sirius spat, seething in his anger. "She will never be able to—She won't fucking be able to leave. She will be bound to him forever. She won't be able to move on when the war is over, she won't be able to marry someone she actually loves, she won't be able to do any of that, because she will be tied to him, she will have to come back and fuck him every six months unless she wants to fucking die." He kicked the overturned side table again, breathing heavily.
Minerva and Molly were both looking shocked and scandalized, Harry looked sick, and everyone else was either gaping at Hermione or watching Sirius, waiting for his next move. Voices began to rise in the room as everyone started to state their opinions, argue the facts, and discuss options.
Hermione glanced at Draco and raised an eyebrow. She hadn't known any of that, but honestly, she wasn't that surprised by it either. She was viewed as not much more than property in the eyes of the men who controlled her life now, and having a clause to keep her faithful and chained to a marriage was exactly the kind of thing she'd come to expect from the old pureblood families.
Draco shrugged apologetically. "I've been working on the wording of the contract to counteract as much of it as I can," he said quietly.
"I trust you," she whispered back, squeezing his hand. And she did.
Hermione cleared her throat, drawing the attention of the still chattering room around them. "It's not my choice to get married, now or ever. I did, however, get to pick who I married, and while I understand your reluctance and fear, this isn't up for discussion and it really isn't the worst thing ever. Draco and I," she paused, biting her lip and then shrugging. "We've been dating for some time now. And not because of anything either of us has been forced to do. Honestly, it sort of started while we were still at Hogwarts. So, yeah, things could be better. But they could be a lot worse. We came here today to explain what has been happening, and to figure out how to use this crap situation to our advantage. To the Order's advantage. So if we could focus on that…"
"But darling, I don't think you understand," Molly started to argue.
"No," she said firmly. "I don't think you understand. This is my life now. This is it. And I can either let it drown me, or I can use it to my advantage. And frankly, I'm done drowning. I understand if it's too much for you to handle, any of you, and if it is, you can leave. You have a choice. I, however, do not. So this is what I am doing with the situation I have been given."
Molly looked taken aback, Minerva looked sad, and Sirius looked proud. Hermione wanted to know what Harry was thinking, but she didn't want to ask him in front of everyone, and before she could do anything else, Remus cleared his throat, drawing the attention to him.
"Hermione is right. There isn't much we can do about the situation she is in, but what we can do is use it to our advantage. Between Hermione, Draco, and this Finn assuming he can be trusted?"
Hermione and Draco both nodded without hesitation.
"Between the three of them, we seem to have a pretty good set of eyes and ears within Voldemort's camp." Hermione and Draco cringed at the use of the name but no one seemed to notice. "Why don't we call it a night here, Minerva and I can get some final details from Hermione and Draco, and then we can start to make a plan."
Everyone seemed to accept Remus' decision and began to rise from the table. They one by one came to Hermione to say their goodbyes. Kingsley, who had been mostly silent during the meeting, quietly said, "Good to know you're safe, Miss Granger."
Molly and Arthur both hugged her extra tightly and expressed their condolences. When it was finally just Harry left, Draco cleared his throat. "I'm going to start filling them in on what I can." He walked over to where Minerva and Remus stood, and they began quietly discussing plans and tactics.
Hermione smiled sadly at Harry, who still sat at the table. "Can we talk?"
He nodded and stood from the chair, turning to walk into the living room. Hermione followed him, nervous and nauseous.
He was sat on an old greying couch near the fire. Hermione sat next to him silently, not sure how this conversation was going to go. They were quiet for several long moments. Hermione could faintly make out the conversation going on in the kitchen, but both her heartbeat and her breathing were the main things she could hear. When Harry finally spoke she was relieved.
"Are you ok?" he asked quietly.
"I'm alright, Harry."
"I—I'm so sorry, Hermione," he said, looking up and meeting her eye. "This is my fault, you should have never been taken, it should have been me."
"Harry James Potter, don't you dare say that! It is not your fault, and if it had been you, you'd be dead now." She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it.
That seemed to be all he needed. One minute they were sitting as far apart as two people could be whilst still on the same piece of furniture, and the next she was being squeezed tightly against him in a hug that had so many meanings.
"I thought I lost you," he said sadly.
Hermione felt a tear run down her cheek. "I thought the same thing."
"So you and Malfoy?"
She laughed and pulled away a little until he loosened his grip. Harry slid his arms from around her neck down her arms to grasp her hands tightly within his own. In answer to his question, she shrugged and smiled. "Guess so."
"Is he… is he good to you?" Harry asked seriously.
Hermione smiled softly and squeezed his hands. "Yes. He's… I don't think I would have made it out of those cells without him, Harry. And I don't just mean physically. He's kept me going through all of this. He and Finn are the reason I still have my sanity, and honestly? A will to live. It's been… It's been really tough, Harry."
"I'm not comparing it at all, but it hasn't been too great without you, either. I mean, obviously, nothing like what you've been through, but damn, Hermione. You really make things work around here. We're like a bunch of chickens with our heads cut off without you."
Hermione laughed, shaking her head. "I'm sure you'll manage," she said.
"I need you, Hermione. I need you to get through this and come back to me."
"I will, Harry, but—I don't know if you'll want me when this is all said and done. It's—the things I've had to do… the things I will have to do…"
"It's alright, Hermione. Whatever it is, it's alright. I know you have to, and I won't blame you for any of it, alright?"
"I've missed you, Harry."
He pulled her into another tight hug then, running his hand down her hair and back, and she felt a deep ache inside of her. This was her best friend, her brother, and she couldn't be with him. And now she couldn't really help him. And she hated it.
When they pulled apart again, Harry hesitantly looked at her, still holding onto her arms. "Can I… Can I see it?" he asked.
Biting her lip, she took a moment to respond. She hadn't expected anyone to want to look at it. Hell, she had hardly spent any time looking at it. Slowly she nodded her head, and drew up the sleeve on her arm, putting the Mark on display.
Harry winced and curled his lips. "It's really pretty ugly, isn't it?"
Hermione laughed, "Thanks, Harry."
"Well, it's not like you chose the design or anything!" he said, also laughing. "No, I just mean, as far as logos go, it's really not that good of one."
"Of all the things that are wrong with this Mark, of course you would choose the fact that it's ugly," she said, laughing again and pulling the sleeve back down.
"So we're ok?" Harry asked after another moment.
"We always were, Harry."
"And you're sure you won't just go into hiding with me? We could—"
"I can't, Harry, you know I can't. I'm more use here anyway now. I think… I think we will be able to get a lot of crucial information between the three of us, to pass on to the Order."
"Yeah, you're right, of course you are. Doesn't mean I like it though."
"Harry, Narcissa Malfoy is planning my wedding. Trust me, I don't like it either," she said with a sarcastic chuckle.
Harry grimaced. "So, I guess that means I don't get to be your best man then?"
Hermione's smile quickly faded, and she deflated quite a bit. She hadn't really thought that far. "No, I suppose that wouldn't be the wisest decision."
"Fucking war," Harry hissed.
"Fucking war," she agreed.
Harry's head snapped up, eyes wide and mouth agape.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yeah, picked up some fun new words from Finn."
"You cussed!" he said, shocked.
"Very observant, Potter," Draco said dryly from the doorway.
"Hermione said 'fuck'," Harry said again, this time looking at Draco.
"Did you Confund him?" Draco asked, crossing his arms. "Not that it wouldn't be hilarious if you did, but I rather think the Order would like him to keep what little brains he already possesses."
"Be nice, Draco."
"I don't think I will get used to you being on a first name basis with Malfoy," Harry said, ignoring Draco and standing from the couch, offering her a hand up. "And I know I won't get used to you cussing."
She took the hand, shrugging in answer once she was standing. "Do we need to go back in there, or…?"
"No, I told them everything we know at this point, and we've set up a couple things to make communication easier. We can go home now if you're ready."
"Home," Harry repeated quietly.
Hermione looked at him sadly. "I don't suppose we will be able to see each other very often, even now."
"No, they have me moving to different safe houses often, and randomly. Most of them aren't even connected to the Floo. This was a special occasion," Harry said with a sigh.
Nodding, Hermione took the few steps separating her and Harry and wrapped her arms tightly around him again. He held her close for several long moments.
"It will be ok, Hermione, I promise."
"You can't promise that, Harry."
"I'm promising anyway," he said firmly before pulling away and cupping her cheeks. He placed a firm kiss to her forehead, lingering there for just a moment. Hermione felt a tear run down her cheek as he did so.
When he released her, he unexpectedly turned and walked toward Draco, who raised his eyebrows. Harry stuck out his hand, holding it in the space between them. Draco eyed it for a moment before grasping it.
"Take care of her, Malfoy. Protect her."
Draco looked as surprised as Hermione felt, but he answered without hesitation. "With my life."
Harry turned to Hermione again and smiled. "I will see you again, as soon as I can, alright? I love you, Hermione."
"I love you too, Harry," she whispered, her voice rough with emotion.
Harry nodded at Draco and turned to the kitchen. Much to her surprise, Draco stopped him.
"Potter," he said, taking steps toward Harry.
Harry faced Draco and raised his eyebrows.
Draco closed the distance between them and held out his hand. giving Harry something she couldn't see. She had no idea what it was. Harry looked down at a tiny slip of parchment he now held and then back up to Draco, confused.
"Give it to the owl," Draco said. "Not your bloody white one, use a different, less recognisable one. But give that to the owl, and it'll be able to find us."
Harry stared at him a moment before nodding again. "Thank you, Malfoy," he said, giving one last smile to Hermione before heading into the kitchen.
"Ready?" Draco asked softly turning to her.
She simply nodded. That had been even more emotional than she had expected, but not as bad as she had feared. They didn't hate her. Or, at least most of them didn't. And they weren't shunning her or rejecting her, or any of the other terrible things her mind had conjured up. They were accepting things as they were, and they were going to use her position to their advantage, just as she'd hoped they would. She was going to be able to help the Order, even from across the line.
Things were going to be ok.
