Chapter Fifty Four
Nathan was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe that Haley even suggested running away together. His mind was racing. He didn't know what to think. Sure her words painted a pretty picture in his mind. He could easily see the two of them in some foreign land living happily together. But he knew in his mind that things wouldn't be perfect. If he agreed to this then they'd always be on the run. Then there was also their family to consider. He knew that he'd constantly worry about his family. Wouldn't it be the same for her? He was sure it would. Haley loved her family. She didn't know what she was saying. She couldn't. What she was asking him, he wasn't even sure she'd be able to go through with it if he agreed. She didn't want this. Not really.
"You'd give up everything for me?"
"Of course, as long as we're together. I just…"
"What about your family?"
Haley blinked a few times before biting the inside of her cheek. "Sure, I would miss them like crazy. It would be hard but –"
"What about my family?"
Haley couldn't think of anything to say. She hadn't really thought about their families.
"You don't want this, Hales. Trust me. We'd be living a life on the run," Nathan stated simply. He needed her to see that this wasn't what she really wanted. Sure running seemed like the easy way out now but she wouldn't always feel that way.
"But –"
"I know you. You couldn't live without your family. I know I'd be constantly worried about mine. I can't just leave them like this, not with Dan…I just can't, Haley. I love you so much. I just don't think running away from this is the right thing for us. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something were to happen..."
"You're right," Haley murmured sadly. "I don't know what I was thinking. It was stupid."
"It wasn't stupid. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. I have. I'd do anything to keep you safe. I love you. I just don't want to do something that we'll regret. Trust me, Hales, if we run and leave everyone behind then we'll regret it. I know it."
Haley nodded weakly. He was right. She couldn't live without her family. That wasn't something that she ever wanted to do. Then there was Nathan's family to consider to. They couldn't just take off and leave everyone else to take care of Dan Scott. That wouldn't be right. She wouldn't be able to live with herself either if something were to happen to anyone that they cared about. They couldn't leave everyone behind.
Nathan felt Haley's hand leave his. He watched her intently as she brushed her hair behind her ears. Something was still wrong with her. She was looking everywhere but at him. She looked really worried about something. Nathan wasn't sure what it was. His mind was still reeling from her asking him to run away with her. He still couldn't believe it. He hadn't realized how terrified Haley was of Dan until now.
"Where is all of this coming from? This isn't like you. You don't run from anything. First you skipped the sting operation and now you want to run away. What exactly happened in Tree Hill with them, Haley?"
"I don't want to talk about that," Haley snapped. She blocked out the images threatening to surface.
"I just feel like I'm missing something," Nathan muttered. "You're not afraid of anything, Haley. I've just never seen you like this before. Did something else happen in Tree Hill that you didn't put in your report? Something must have –"
Haley sighed in frustration before glaring at him. "No, Nathan. This isn't about that. I'm worried about you."
"Me?" Nathan asked confused.
"It scares me," Haley said quietly. "It scares me to see what they do to you. It's like you're someone else. I'm terrified of what will happen to you if you keep going on like this, Nathan. And I don't even want to think about what you'll do if you're ever face to face with Dan again."
"I'm sorry that you had to see me like that."
"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to care about what happens to you. You need to realize that there are people that would be devastated if something were to happen to you. Do you realize that? It just feels like you care more about bringing Dan down than anything else."
Nathan sat there in stunned silence for minutes. "Is that what you think?"
"Isn't it the truth? Honestly, Nathan. Do you care what happens to you as long as Dan pays for what he's done?"
"You're right, I didn't care about what would happen to me…"
"Nathan," Haley shrieked. She placed her hands on his face before forcing him to look at her. His blue eyes were boring into her.
"But that was before," Nathan declared. "I care now, Haley. That's because of you. You come before anything else. Don't ever doubt that."
Nathan kissed her softly. He hoped that she believed him. It was the truth. He never really cared about what would happen to him just as long as Dan paid for everything. He would've given his life in an instant just to bring Dan down. But that was before Haley loved him. Now he had something to live for. They had a future together. That's what she told him.
"Good," Haley breathed. "Because I can't live without you."
Nathan grinned before pulling her into him. He hugged her tightly. His hand rubbed her back soothingly as her head fell on his shoulder. He felt her warm breath hitting his neck and his body shivered slightly. That delicious vanilla scent of hers surrounded him. His eyes snapped shut.
"We have dinner plans with my parents Sunday."
"We do?" Nathan chuckled nervously. "Why am I suddenly scared?"
"My parents want to talk to us. Apparently, we blindsided them at the engagement party."
That sounded about right to him. "We did, Hales."
"Whatever," Haley muttered. "Like I said before, they'll deal. My mom is excited but upset that I kept something like this from her. My dad is just…"
"Angry," Nathan guessed. He cringed when he pictured Jimmy in his head. "He's been giving me the evil eye and I'm pretty sure that he wants to beat my ass. He isn't happy about us at all. I know it."
"He's just surprised," Haley offered.
Nathan scoffed. "Please, the guy hates me now."
"Why would you think that?"
"Probably because I'm the guy doing his daughter. I'm also the guy that lied and went behind his back with you. Trust me, Hales. He doesn't like me anymore."
"You're being overdramatic," Haley laughed before kissing his neck. "There's something else."
"Oh, no. Please don't tell me that Taylor will be there as well." Nathan winced.
"Nope, she's in New York, I think."
"Good. I can't handle any Taylor drama. I'll have my hands full trying to convince your dad not to kill me." Nathan tensed up when Haley punched his side. He started laughing seconds later. "What is it?"
"It's about work. I, um…I told my dad that I couldn't work in the field anymore," Haley rushed out before waiting for his reaction. Her dad hadn't been too thrilled about the news and she wasn't sure how Nathan would react.
"What?" Nathan asked, completely stunned. "You quit?"
Haley pulled away from him before looking into his eyes. "No, I didn't quit. I just changed job positions. That's all."
"So what, you'll work at a desk now?"
"Yeah," Haley replied. "I've thought a lot about this and this is just something that I have to do."
"I can't believe this," Nathan choked out. He shook his head. "This isn't you. You love your job and now you're just gonna give up? You're just gonna quit doing what you love to do? And all of this for what…? Because you're terrified of Dan. I won't let him take this from you. You love your job, Haley. I can't let you do this. We can fix this. I'm sure your dad hasn't –"
"Nathan, this isn't because of Dan."
"Please. You were fine and now all of a sudden –"
"Things change," Haley interrupted him. "I've changed."
"I can't let you do this," Nathan objected. He didn't know where this was coming from. Haley loved her job. She lived for it. Now all of a sudden she wanted to give that up. He didn't get it. This just wasn't her.
Haley breathed deeply as she watched him. There was just no easy way to do this.
"I've been trying to tell you something really important," Haley started nervously. "It's why I can't work in the field anymore. It isn't safe for me now."
"Dammit, Haley, it's never been safe," Nathan barked.
"But things are different now," Haley insisted.
Nathan shook his head. "I don't understand. You love what you do. What's so important that you're willing to give that up now?"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Haley huffed in frustration.
"Okay," Nathan mumbled. "Tell me then because I just don't understand this."
"First, I need you to promise that you won't freak out. Just don't run away. Please."
Nathan scowled. "Haley, you're really starting to freak me out. Tell me what the hell is going on with you?"
Haley could feel her heart slamming out of her chest. Why was this so hard? Nathan's eyes were boring into hers and it was all she could do to keep still. Her hands were shaking in her lap. She was certain that she had never been so nervous before in her life. She had no idea how Nathan would react. If he ran out she wasn't sure what she'd do.
"I'm pregnant," Haley whispered nervously.
There was nothing but silence. It was unnerving. Haley could hardly stand it. Then Nathan's eyes became distant. He looked like a statue sitting next to her. She waved her hand in front of his face but he didn't blink, he didn't move. He was totally out of it. She bit her bottom lip nervously as she waited. After minutes of nothing but silence she couldn't take it anymore.
"Please say something."
Nathan was so confused he couldn't think straight. His hands rubbed his face. "No, Peyton's pregnant."
"It's not Peyton. It's me. I'm the one that's pregnant. Why would you think that Peyton's pregnant?" Her brows knit together.
"But you're on the pill." Nathan shook his head. His hands fell from his face before he glanced at her. "You said you were on the pill. That's why we never used any other kind of protection. I thought you were on the pill. This isn't supposed to happen if you were on the pill."
"I was," Haley explained timidly. "That doesn't always work, Nathan. I got pregnant anyway."
"When…?"
"That last night in Austin," Haley explained.
"Wow…This is just…How long have you known?"
Haley swallowed hard. "A few weeks."
"A few weeks."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."
Nathan's head was spinning. He was pretty sure the room was spinning as well. This wasn't happening. Not now. Peyton was supposed to be pregnant. Not Haley. Somehow it all made sense though. That box of baby clothes had been for Haley not Peyton. Peyton had been drinking at the engagement party because she wasn't pregnant. Nathan couldn't remember the last time he noticed Haley drinking. He hadn't even really thought about it at all.
Then there was the fact that she would get sick on and off again. He hadn't thought about that either. He had been a complete idiot not even seeing what was right in front of him. He felt his chest tighten. His heart was racing in his chest. It was suddenly hard to breathe. He felt his chest heaving rapidly as he eyed her body. She didn't look any different to him. His eyes landed on her stomach. How hadn't he realized that there was a baby in there?
His baby.
No. He could feel panic sink in. There was no way that he could be a…dad. He wouldn't be any good at it. He was just too messed up. He'd probably screw the kid up. He couldn't have a baby. It was too much. The pressure on his chest increased tenfold. This couldn't be happening right now. It wasn't the right time for this.
He wanted to run. He needed some fresh air. He really needed time to think alone. He just needed to clear his head. There were so many things running through his mind that his thoughts were all jumbled. All he knew was that he couldn't be someone's dad. Just the thought of it made him want to jump up and get away from here. He really just wanted to run but his feet weren't moving. They felt like two huge weights holding him down. He couldn't even move.
"Nathan."
Haley's voice sounded so far away to him. He moved his eyes up slowly to look at her face. She looked extremely worried. He wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words. He felt her warm hands holding his cheeks so that she could look directly at him. Why was she suddenly blurry to him? Fuck. Why did it feel like he was suffocating?
"You're having a panic attack," Haley stated calmly. "I need you to calm down and relax."
Nathan felt himself nod but nothing changed. It was still hard to breathe. His chest felt so heavy that he was sure it would burst any second now. One of her hands dropped and then it was over his heart.
"Your hearts racing. Please, just relax. Take deep breaths. It's okay. You're okay."
It felt like the room was closing in around him. He screwed his eyes shut seconds later. Haley's hands were suddenly on his shoulders. He could barely hear her voice. She was telling him to breathe. At least that's what he thought she was saying. In his mind he was suddenly picturing Haley with a huge belly. Then the picture changed to Haley sitting in a rocking chair holding their baby in her arms. He couldn't remember ever seeing something so perfect before.
He kept that vision in his mind as he tried to calm himself down. He could feel it working. Then the vision in his mind changed a little. Suddenly, Dan was standing right behind the rocking chair with a gun. He felt something weird in the pit of his stomach.
Haley wasn't sure what to do. Nathan seemed really out of it. It was starting to scare her. She didn't know how to make him snap out of it. His chest was heaving up and down so rapidly. His breathing was rapid and shallow. She tried squeezing his shoulders but it was like he didn't feel it. It was like she wasn't even right in front of him. His heart was still beating really, really fast. She felt like she should call Brooke for help. Brooke would know what to do right?
Nathan wasn't sure how he could feel so many things at once. He was sure that he felt every single emotion all at the same time. It didn't really make any sense. How was it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? He didn't get it but he felt both of those things. The sight of Dan in his mind had fear edging out the rest of his emotions. His whole body started to feel numb.
Haley moved in closer to him before wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his neck. It was minutes later when she felt his hands on her back. His breathing had only calmed down slightly but at least it was something.
"Please tell me how you feel about this," Haley mumbled quietly. She just needed to know how he really felt. He hadn't taken off and she was grateful. She really needed him right now. She felt his hold on her tighten.
"I'm terrified," Nathan muttered hoarsely.
Haley wasn't sure how long they stayed in that position holding each other. It felt like a while. By then Nathan had calmed down. His breathing had evened out but his heart was still beating rapidly. She wasn't sure what was going on in that head of his. He was terrified. She felt scared as well. She couldn't lie about that.
Her thoughts slipped away when she felt something wet on her cheek. It only took a second to realize that it was his tears. Her eyes snapped shut as she held him tighter in her arms. She wondered how he felt about running away now that he knew they were having a baby. Her eyes were suddenly brimming with tears.
"It's okay," Haley whispered.
Haley's concerned voice broke his thoughts. He had been so caught up in how he felt that he hadn't even considered how she felt about all of this. He felt like a jackass. She was the one carrying their…baby. She was the one getting sick all of the time. Everything in her life was changing because of this. She basically quit her job because he got her pregnant and he was only focused on how he felt. Real nice, Nathan.
Looking back to the last few weeks he couldn't believe that he hadn't realized that she was pregnant. There had been signs that he missed. One thing had stuck out in his head now. Haley had constantly been touching her stomach. How hadn't he realized what was going on?
"How are you feeling?" Nathan asked softly. "I know you've been getting sick…"
"I'm fine. I'm just worried about you."
"Don't be. Have you seen a doctor yet? I mean I'm not really sure…"
"I have my first appointment Wednesday."
"Oh. Okay. I…I want to be there if that's okay with you."
Haley smiled softly. "I want you there. I really want you there with me. The doctor said we'd be able to hear the heartbeat."
"I'll be there," Nathan promised. "I'll be there for everything. You're sure you're feeling okay?" He pulled out of their embrace before glancing at her face. He felt her wiping his cheeks. He hadn't even realized that he had been crying. His eyes stayed glued to hers for minutes before moving down to her stomach. Hesitantly, he reached out and placed his hand on her belly.
Haley placed her hand over his shaking one.
"This doesn't seem real," Nathan breathed.
"I know but it is," Haley smiled. "We're having a baby."
Nathan blew out a deep breath. "I don't know how to do this, Haley. I mean a baby…I just…what if I mess up? What if I'm not any good at being a…dad? You know what kind of monster Dan was…what if –"
"Nathan, you're nothing like Dan," Haley cut him off. "You're gonna be an amazing father. I know it."
"You don't know that."
"I do. You're gonna be the best father, Nathan. You wanna know how I know? It's because you're still here. You had a great dad growing up. Andy is such a great father to you. He loves you so much. He raised you into the man you are today. You'll be good at this."
Nathan's eyes stayed glued to her stomach. "I don't want to mess this up."
"You can't."
Haley felt Nathan's hand leave her belly. She watched as he pushed her back and then before she knew it they were both laying on the sofa. Their bodies were smashed together, their chest's touching. She felt Nathan's lips on her forehead.
"How do you feel about this?" Nathan wondered.
"I was scared when the doctor first told me but I was also really happy…so happy. I love our baby so much already."
She felt his lips on her forehead once again. "I'm still terrified."
"I know."
"But I'm also happy. I am," Nathan added softly.
"I'm so glad you feel that way," Haley laughed nervously. "I was so terrified to tell you, Nathan. I'm so sorry that I waited so long. I should've had more faith in you. I'm sorry that I didn't."
"It's okay. I think I'm still in shock," Nathan chuckled lowly. This was still unreal to him.
Haley felt his hand travel down her side before he was touching her belly once again. She smiled as she glanced down at his hand on her. She felt so much lighter now that he knew.
"I can't believe that there's a baby in there."
"It's amazing," Haley grinned. "It's just the most wonderful feeling, Nathan. Just knowing that our baby is growing inside of me…I didn't think it was possible to be this happy."
Nathan gazed down at her in complete wonder. He wasn't sure if it was her words or the fact that she was so close to him, but he felt warmth seep into him. He felt it all over his body. He never imagined having a kid. Then again he never imagined that someone like Haley James would love him but she did. And she was having his baby. Her words kept on replaying over in his head. She was completely happy. He felt her happiness seeping into him as well.
He moved his hand to her cheek. Then he was leaning down towards her. He captured her lips with his. He needed to feel her. The kiss started off slow. He took his time memorizing every inch of her mouth once again. Their mouths moved together perfectly. The taste of her was intoxicating. Their tongues battled for dominance. He needed more.
His hands untied the knot in her robe. Once he pulled her robe open his hands slipped inside and came into contact with her bare skin. He groaned when he realized that all she had on under her rode was a pair of panties.
Haley's mind was in a blissful haze. When Nathan finally tore his lips away from hers she opened her eyes slowly. Nathan was hovering above her. He started to remove her robe. She sat up and helped him. Once it was off of her she moved her hands under his shirt. She felt his chiseled abs under her fingertips. A shiver ran up her spine when Nathan quickly pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. Her hands instantly went to the button of his jeans. She popped the button before lowering his zipper. She licked her lips when she realized how hard he already was. He was so damn sexy.
Nathan stood up quickly before pushing down his jeans and boxers. He covered his body over hers and started kissing her once again. His hands roamed her body. He felt her hands moving over his chest. Her soft touches felt so good to him. He made quick work of removing the last piece of clothing keeping them apart. He settled himself between her legs before bracing one his hands on the arm of the sofa behind her head. He felt Haley tugging on the chain around his neck. Their lips connected a second later.
He continued to kiss her. It still amazed him how he couldn't get enough of her. He moved his lips down her neck. He trailed kisses down her neck to her shoulder. He felt her legs wrap around his waist. Her hands squeezed his shoulders silently telling him what she wanted. That's all he needed. He moved his mouth back to hers. His hands slipped between them before he eased himself inside of her. Her mouth opened over his and her nails dug into his flesh. His eyes snapped shut as he savored the feel of her. Nothing in his life had ever made sense like this did. They fit perfectly together, like two pieces of a puzzle.
Haley moved her hand slowly up and down his back. His kisses slowed. She felt one of his hands grip her thigh tightly.
"You okay?" Nathan breathed. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"
"Fine," Haley whimpered. "I'm fine."
"Tell me if am, Hales."
Haley nodded weakly before leaning up and kissing him again.
It took minutes before he started moving. His lips moved lazily over hers. He didn't want this amazing feeling to ever end. Haley met him thrust for thrust. Her body arched into his making him go even deeper inside of her. He did his best to make it last as long as possible. It was hard with Haley's moaning and her hands moving over his back. It took everything in him to keep going. He felt her nails sink into his lower back.
"C'mon, baby."
"Nathan."
He felt Haley clench around him. His eyes stayed glued to her face as she came undone. He gave in seconds later. His body moved slowly in and out of her. Her palms pressed into his back pushing him more into her. Their lips connected in a tantalizing kiss.
He placed his forehead against hers minutes later. Her body was clinging to his. He could feel a thin layer of sweat on his body. It was hot. Haley was breathing deeply. He placed a shaky kiss on her lips before moving to the side of her.
Haley waited until her heart rate returned to normal before reaching over Nathan. Her hand felt around for his shirt on the floor before she slipped it on. She watched as Nathan sat up. She placed a kiss on his back as he started placing on his boxers and jeans. Once he was finished he laid himself down once again before pulling Haley into his side, their legs tangled together. He held her body into his. It wasn't long before he realized that she had fallen asleep.
Nathan's mind was still hazy as he listened to Haley's steady breathing. She had been sleeping for a while now. He didn't mind. He needed time to think about things clearly. He was still freaking out on the inside. He was completely terrified of being a father. He didn't know if he was ready or even if he could do it.
He had been going back and forth with his thoughts. His fears wouldn't go away. Sure, he was happy. Haley was happy. A baby was a good thing, right? He wasn't sure how he'd fit in the picture. Haley would be an amazing mother to their baby. He didn't have any doubts about that. He couldn't say the same for himself. He wasn't sure how to do this. He knew that he needed to be there for Haley. He couldn't let her know about all the doubts he was having. He didn't want to worry her. She had been stressing enough because of him.
He needed to talk to his dad. He needed advice on how to do this. He didn't want to fuck this up, which seemed impossible with his damn track record. He always screwed everything up. How the hell was he supposed to get his right?
It seemed ridiculous to be terrified of a tiny baby. He felt ridiculous. How could he be scared of a baby that he made with Haley? He loved Haley so much. He wanted to be with her forever. He wanted a future with her. Now no matter what happened they would be connected forever because of this baby.
His mind continued to come back to what was standing in the way of their future together. Dan Scott. That monster always stood in the way of everything in his life.
He wanted to protect Haley and their baby from the world. How was he supposed to do that with Dan Scott running around free? He couldn't protect Haley from Dan. Dan had gotten to her before. How the hell was he supposed to protect their baby? He didn't want any of them to ever lay eyes on his child. He didn't even want his child to know Dan Scott at all.
His whole body became tense just thinking about it. He felt Haley stirring on his side and he tried his best to remove the scowl from his face. He wasn't going to stress her out anymore with his fears. He'd deal with them all on his own. She had enough to deal with because of him.
"Oh, no," Haley whimpered.
"What is it?" Nathan asked worriedly. He glanced at her in concern but Haley was already moving. She pushed his body down before she moved over him. Once her feet hit the ground she took off running down the hall. He rushed to his feet before following after her. The door to her bathroom slammed shut right before he reached it. He was confused until he heard her. His stomach twisted in pain as he listened.
He opened the door slowly before walking inside. Haley was leaning over the toilet, her body heaving rapidly. He made it to her side before pulling her hair back for her. His hand rubbed her back soothingly as she dry heaved. He was such a fucking asshole. He hadn't even made sure that she ate anything today. It was well after lunch. Fucking great job, Nathan. Just great.
It was hard watching her body convulse and there was nothing he could do about it.
"I'm so sorry, baby."
"It's not your fault," Haley breathed. She was panting harshly and she wasn't sure if it was over.
"How can you say that? I'm the one that got you pregnant," Nathan gritted out. He was so fucking pissed off at himself.
As much as it hurt, Haley found herself laughing tiredly. "It takes two, you know. If I remember correctly, I wanted it just as much as you did, if not more."
"I don't know about that," Nathan smirked before shaking his head. "Which is so not the point. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just give me a few minutes. I'm still a little nauseous and if I walk out of here now I'll only be running right back in."
Nathan grimaced. "Has it been like this?"
"Pretty much. I'm getting used to it. The books say that it usually stops after the first trimester for some women."
"So this is normal?" Nathan scratched his head.
"Yeah."
"I think I need to read some damn books," Nathan mumbled. "I don't know anything at all about this stuff."
Haley finally felt like it was over. She stood up straight before slowly walking over to the sink. Nathan moved with her still holding her hair. She smiled at his reflection in the mirror. He still looked like he was in shock. But he was still here she kept reminding herself. He was still here.
She brushed her teeth and washed her face.
Nathan rummaged through the refrigerator looking for Haley something to eat. He found a few tupperware bowls filled with leftovers but he wasn't sure if they were still good. He didn't want to open any of them to check either. He found leftover Chinese. He pulled out the container before glancing over his shoulder.
"How old is this?"
"That's fine," Haley spoke up. "I ordered in last night. It's still good. You don't have to do this. I can fix my own –"
Nathan sent her a warning glare. He heated up the container before placing it in front of her. She smiled up at him and he raised an eyebrow as he watched her. Her eyes were glued to his chest. He glanced down and realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt still. Haley was wearing the shirt that he had on. He chuckled when he noticed her biting her lower lip. Her eyes were filled with lust.
"Dammit, you have to put a shirt on," Haley whined. "You're too sexy."
"You're wearing my shirt," Nathan pointed out smugly. "It looks way better on you." He leaned down and kissed her.
A loud piercing scream filled the room. "My eyes."
"I'm so happy that I'm moving out," Lucas grumbled. Brooke buried her head into his chest. He wrapped his arm around her before looking away from the couple making out at the damn kitchen table.
"Sorry, guys," Haley apologized sheepishly. "We were just –"
"Save it, Haley James," Brooke spoke up. "We know what you were just doing."
"We saw clothes on the floor by the sofa, which you can totally have by the way," Lucas added angrily. His parents had given him that sofa when they moved into the apartment together.
Nathan rolled his eyes. "What are you two doing here?"
"Well, we were house hunting and now we're taking a little break. Still have tons to do for the wedding. Can you two please get dressed properly before I claw my eyes out? We'll be in his room until you both put some damn clothes on. Just gross. Scarred for life." Brooke pulled Lucas out of the kitchen with her.
"It's not funny." Haley felt her cheeks burning. She slapped Nathan's chest hard when he continued to laugh.
Nathan couldn't contain his laughter. "It's a little funny."
"I'm mortified. Stop laughing before I hit you," Haley warned.
Once they were both fully dressed they returned to the kitchen. Haley finished off the leftover Chinese as Nathan watched her. She hadn't even noticed his eyes on her. She didn't even notice the amused smile on his face.
"What?" Haley wondered when she realized his amused gaze on her.
Nathan shrugged before placing his hand under his chin. "I'm gonna make you a romantic dinner tonight."
"Oh, yeah?" Haley's brows knit together. She couldn't help but laugh.
"What's so funny about that?"
"Besides the fact that you can't cook? I'm sorry, baby. It's sweet that –"
"Laugh now, Hales, but you'll see. I'm gonna go get a few things at the store and then I'll be back. I'm gonna make you the best damn meal you've ever had," Nathan declared smugly. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you."
"I love you. Oh, and can you get some ice cream? I ran out last night."
"Of course," Nathan chuckled.
"The baby likes ice cream," Haley smiled as she rubbed her belly. "Like really don't forget. I don't want to have to hurt you."
Nathan held up his hands in mock surrender. "Ice cream cravings. Got it."
"Thanks, Nathan."
"What for?" Nathan wondered. He glanced at her from the doorway.
"Just for being amazing about all of this… and just for making me feel so much better. I should've never doubted you. I'm sorry that I did. I love you so much. Thank you for making this day perfect. I'll never forget it."
Nathan had to force himself to smile at her. He felt awful. All those doubts she had about him were warranted. On the surface he was fine but he wasn't sure how long he could contain the raging fear inside of him. He wasn't the amazing guy that she thought he was and he hated himself for it. She deserved so much better. He would do everything that he could to make sure that she never knew just how terrified he really was about all of this.
"Look who has clothes on," Brooke deadpanned. She hit him as she walked in the kitchen.
Lucas scowled. "You can keep whatever's mine in the place, Hales. I don't even want to know all the places that you guys…we need to find a house soon, Pretty Girl. I can't live with these two going at it 24/7." Lucas and Brooke sat next to Haley at the table.
"Can we please stop talking about this?" Haley laughed miserably. Her face was heating up once again.
"Fine," Brooke smiled. "So wedding planning time."
"I really liked that damn sofa," Lucas shook his head.
Nathan chuckled. "We did it on the table as well."
"Come on, man," Lucas grumbled as his hands flew up from the table. He stood up quickly. "On the damn table where we eat!"
"Nathan!" Haley shrieked.
"I didn't hear that," Brooke scowled. "I did not hear that at all."
"Just saying," Nathan chuckled. "Look at it this way, Hales. The more grossed out he gets the faster he'll be gone and we can have the place to ourselves. You two take the hint and get lost. I want you two gone by the time I get back. I'm making Haley dinner later. We need alone time."
"You cooking," Brooke laughed. "Yeah, right."
"I'm gonna kick your ass." He heard Lucas call out. That was the last thing Nathan heard as he walked out of the apartment laughing. Once the door closed his smile faded. The weight on his chest returned instantly. He rubbed his face in frustration as he waited for the elevator. The same thing kept replaying over in his mind. Haley was pregnant with his baby.
Nathan pushed the shopping cart slowly around the store. He had instantly called Beth once he left Haley's apartment. He had no idea how to cook at all but Beth did. He wrote down everything she told him to get at the store. He was halfway done with the list in his hands. He tried his best to focus on the list. His mind could only deal with making Haley dinner at the moment. He wouldn't think about anything else until later after Haley went to sleep. He couldn't deal with anything else right now.
He reached for the asparagus and placed it in the basket. He drew a line across the item on his list.
"So basically I'm on standby?" Clay questioned in confusion.
Nathan glared at Clay, who was currently tossing an apple in his hand. "What the hell don't you get? I need you by the phone waiting for me to call and let you know if I need you to bring any food incase I burn this damn meal I'm gonna try to cook. You got that?"
"Yep. I still can't believe you told her that you'd cook her dinner," Clay chuckled loudly.
"Shut up," Nathan snarled. He rolled his eyes when Clay continued to laugh. "You better not be thinking about bringing any damn crappy fast food either. I'm gonna need something from a damn five star restaurant if this meal doesn't come out right."
"I'll camp out at the most expensive restaurant just incase. Happy?"
Nathan scowled. "Whatever."
"What the hell is wrong you with you? You've been bitchy since I got here. I thought you'd be all happy that Haley took your ass back."
"I've just got a lot on my mind."
Clay sighed when he noticed how tense Nathan was. "I'm guessing this is about Dan. Look, man, don't let him get you down like this."
"It's not Dan," Nathan gritted out. He clenched the cart tight in his hands. "Not everything is about him."
"I agree but usually with you it is. What's up, man?"
"Peyton's not pregnant, turns out its Haley." Nathan blew out a deep breath.
Clay stopped walking. "What?"
"Haley's pregnant," Nathan nodded numbly. He stopped as well.
"Holy shit," Clay stated in shock. "And it's yours?"
"What kind of fucking question is that?" Nathan gritted out through clenched teeth. He moved right in front of Clay before glaring at him. "Of course it's mine, you idiot."
"Okay, man. It's a valid question though. It's not like you two were dating before now."
"It's mine," Nathan repeated angrily before pushing Clay hard in the chest. "Don't make me kick your ass in this damn store, Clay. You don't want to mess with me right now."
"Fuck, chill out," Clay mumbled as he glanced around. "People are watching."
"I don't care." Nathan returned to the cart. He started pushing it away from Clay. He really wanted to hurt Clay for even asking such a stupid question. He could feel rage sweeping all over his body. He just really needed to hit something.
"Man, this is unexpected."
"No shit," Nathan barked. "We're having a baby. I'm gonna be a dad. Can you believe that? I'm gonna be a fucking dad. I can't even take care of myself, how the hell am I supposed to take care of a fucking baby? And Haley thinks that I'm this amazing guy and she looks at me like I make everything better of her and it's just…"
"Dude, relax."
Nathan shook his head. "It hasn't really sunk in yet. I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out here. How the hell am I supposed to do this? I can't…I…"
Nathan felt a hard hit to his face. The stinging in his cheek intensified as he held the side of his face. He rubbed the spot where Clay slapped him.
"Thanks," Nathan muttered. He calmed down.
"No problem," Clay grinned. "I've wanted to do that for a long time. Dude, you really need to chill. This will all work itself out. I'll admit that I don't know shit about babies but you'll figure it out. At least it's Haley having your baby and not some random chick."
"Yeah. I'm just fucking terrified, man. This is just a lot. I'm still trying to process all of this."
"You got Haley James pregnant. Nice. You do realize that Jimmy is gonna kill you," Clay pointed out.
Nathan grimaced. His stomach twisted. "He is totally gonna fucking kill me. I am so dead."
"See, so all of this worrying is over nothing. Julian will probably help him. You might as well enjoy the time you have left," Clay chuckled. "I'll be a good uncle."
Nathan finished getting everything off of his list before checking out. Clay left still laughing about the fact that Jimmy James was going to kill him. Nathan didn't know what was so funny about that. He was currently on his way back to Haley's apartment. He had his earpiece on as he listened to Beth and his dad.
"Wait, how long do I cook it for?"
"Thirty minutes," Beth repeated. "Pay attention."
"I am," Nathan muttered when he stopped at a red light. "This whole meal just sounds complicated. You know I can't cook. I wanted something simple. Are you sure she's gonna like this? I promised it would be the best meal ever. What was I thinking?"
"Yes. It's easy. She's gonna love it."
"I might have to call you guys back when I'm actually cooking," Nathan pointed out.
"That's fine," Andy spoke up. "We'll be here watching a movie with Noah. It's no problem at all."
"Finding Nemo again?" Nathan chuckled.
"His favorite," Beth laughed.
"We've got homemade pizza if you and Haley want to swing by."
"Real funny, dad."
"Don't listen to him. I'm sure you'll cook it just fine," Beth said.
"I'll definitely be calling you guys back for help," Nathan mumbled. "I've got everything you told me to though. At least I got that right."
"Good. It's really not hard."
"We'll see. Sorry for bothering you guys again."
"You're not," Andy spoke up. "Promise. We'll give you some cooking lessons after this so you won't be so nervous about cooking in the future."
Nathan rolled his eyes before laughing. "Fine. Thanks for everything. I'll call you guys as soon as I start cooking. I love you guys. Thanks again."
"We'll be waiting."
"Love you, too."
Nathan ended the call as he pulled up to Haley's apartment building. He shook his head and continued to laugh. Beth must have told him the cooking directions three times already and he couldn't really remember any of it. He gathered the bag and the flowers in his hands before making his way up.
He felt a little better after venting to Clay. And just talking with Beth and his dad helped as well. He knew that he'd have to tell them soon about the baby. He wasn't really sure what Haley wanted to do. He didn't know if she wanted people knowing yet. He made a mental note to warn Clay to keep his mouth shut. He and Haley had so much to talk about. He just needed to pull this dinner off for her. She deserved the best and he really wanted to be that for her. All he could do was try. He felt a little better knowing that Clay would be there instantly with food if something went wrong.
He hoped that Lucas and Brooke were gone by now. He pushed his way inside of the apartment.
"Hales, I'm back. I'm gonna need you to stay out of the kitchen while I –"
Nathan stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the living room. He stood frozen in fear at the sight in front of him. He heard the loud thud of the bag and flowers hitting the floor. His hands flew up without a second thought.
"Son, you didn't tell me I was going to be a grandfather," Dan smirked.
Nathan's eyes took in everything the room. He needed a plan and fast. Dan was holding Haley to his side while pointing a gun at her belly. Nathan noticed her hands tied together behind her back and tape covering her mouth. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. His heart ached painfully in his chest.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Brooke start to sob uncontrollably on the floor. Cooper was standing by her feet with a gun in his hands. Nathan noticed a body sprawled out on the floor unmoving, blood pooling around the body. The blonde hair and clothes let him know it was Lucas. Brooke was right next to his body. Nathan also noticed Shane and Brandon pointing guns at him. Then finally he took in the sight of Bobby standing next to them.
His eyes stayed glued to Haley's terrified ones after that. No plan came to him. Nothing came to him at all. The only thing he could think about in that moment was that he forgot to get Haley ice cream.
