a/n: Hey! Long time no see. I disappeared off the radar for a while there. Needless to say "real life" was catching up with me. I won't waste your time with details.
a/n: Also, I didn't like the direction this chapter was going when I first wrote it, so I ended up doing a rewrite. I'm still not entirely happy with the way it turned out. It seems...off. Probably because it's been a while since I posted. But I figured I should get something out there before I changed my mind again. And here it is. Hope you like it.
Warning: This chapter contains out-of-character-ness and Shamy-brand fluff.
Concession
Chapter 46: The Maddest Debriefing of All
She was going to have intercourse with her boyfriend tonight whether he liked it or not.
The thing is, she had to find a way to make it happen. But first she had to have the patience to make it through this Kolinahr nonsense. (Sure, it's nonsense now that I don't necessarily need it anymore,) she thought.
"Sheldon, what would you like to drink?" she asked. When she turned to look at him, she found that he was standing in the kitchen with her. She was so startled that she nearly screamed and almost dropped the glasses she'd taken out for them. "Don't do that! How many times do I have to tell you? At least make a little noise when you move around."
"It wasn't my intent to scare you. Here. Let me help with those," her boyfriend said, taking the glasses away from her.
She tried her best to ignore the heat of his boney fingers as they passed over hers.
"Diet Coke will be fine," she heard Sheldon request as he set the glasses on the counter for her.
It was barely audible over the sound of her pulse pounding in her ears. After retrieving the cans of soda from the fridge, Amy set them on the counter, took one of Sheldon's hands and pulled him close for a smoldering kiss that was much too brief.
When she pulled away, the physicist asked, "What was that for?"
"Oh, calm down. I wanted to kiss you and I did," Amy told him. "It's nothing new." She let him go and grabbed the drinking glasses. "Let's eat. Grab the drinks for me."
Sheldon grabbed the soda cans and followed her back to the living room.
The two sat in their usual Kolinahr positions and Amy had been told to close her eyes and clear her mind, as usual. Focus on her breathing and all that. Unfortunately, she didn't feel like listening to her boyfriend this time, so she just sat there and watched him as he closed his eyes.
The rise and fall of his chest as he apparently concentrated on his own breathing was fascinating to her, as always. Sheldon often made the attempt to control his breathing during many of their intimacy experiments. If he'd been attempting to use Kolinahr to calm himself at those times, he'd failed. Then again, he admitted that he failed at Kolinahr from time to time. And failure wasn't something to which he admitted easily.
Amy still couldn't quite understand why Sheldon was so desperate for control over these feelings when they were already so far down the path of intimacy.
Had he resorted to Kolinahr the morning after their sexual encounter when he couldn't sleep? Was there a need to purge his emotions last night, perhaps?
"Amy, what do you think you're doing?" Sheldon asked.
That startled Amy a bit and she realized that she'd been staring at her boyfriend's crotch. This wasn't like her. She wasn't some horny teenager... Okay, so this was like her. She was a horny thirty-something-er. In actuality that made it worse.
She looked up at Sheldon and frowned. "Sorry. I couldn't concentrate."
"You're not even trying. You told me that you'd take our lessons seriously, but you're not. I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed," he told her.
Amy's frown became more grave. "Well, I'm disappointed too, you know."
Sheldon looked confused. "What are you talking about?"
"You made plans to spend the night here, yet you don't want—" she began, but stopped short. She couldn't bring herself to say that her own boyfriend didn't want to make love to her.
"Is this about coitus?"
Amy nodded and took a deep breath in an attempt to keep the tears that threatened her eyes at bay. Why was she becoming so emotional about this? Was it because at first he'd expressed interest in engaging in intercourse again, but then changed his mind? Was it because she'd gotten her hopes up just to be let down? Or was it because she thought she knew why he wanted to spend the night with her and she was wrong? "Of course it's about 'coitus'."
"Are you...eager to engage in amorous activities?" he asked quietly.
That sounded like the Sheldon Cooper equivalent to asking if she was horny. She thought about telling him no, but that would've been an outright lie. So, she turned to face him once again and noticed that he was staring at his hands, which were clamped tightly to his knees.
"Yes," she said plainly. Why try to hide it?
"Oh, dear. I wasn't expecting that answer," Sheldon told her as he shifted in his seat.
How could he not expect it? It was basically a loaded question.
"The other day you said that you wouldn't bother me about it again for a while. I assumed that you wouldn't want to...you know," he went on.
"I want to."
"...Oh."
"Do you want to?" She knew better than to ask him something like that in such a straight forward manner, but she'd blurted it out before she knew it.
And even though he was still sitting there staring at his hands on his knees, he nodded.
That answer wasn't what she expected. Even if he wanted to, she was prepared for him to be in denial at the very least. Well, she wasn't about to let this opportunity pass her by. "Then what are we waiting for?" Amy asked with a grin. She took his hand and started leading him to her bedroom.
"I was afraid this was gonna happen," Sheldon said as he allowed her to pull him along.
"What?"
"That we would turn into a couple of sex-crazed maniacs. I can't help feeling that the fields of both theoretical physics and neurobiology are about to suffer greatly."
Amy rolled her eyes. "They won't. Trust me."
Once they stepped into her bedroom, Sheldon turned to her. "How can you say that? It's already begun. Kolinahr is ineffective. I spent the entire day today rolling various polyhedral dice and called it an expedition in probability theory. My white board was filled with columns of numbers in which I had no interest."
She was really beginning to get irritated with her boyfriend. "Well, you're the genius. What do you propose as a solution?"
"My solution was to not be involved in intimacy in the first place."
Amy folded her arms and glared at him. "Then it's high time you come up with a new solution, considering we're already up to our eyeballs in intimacy."
"Agreed. Intimacy seems to be the only thing I've been able to think about."
That made the neurobiologist smile. "You know what I think? I think we just need to get used to the idea. I think that the more we engage in intercourse, the less preoccupied we'll be with it."
Sheldon looked at her strangely. "That's an illogical hypothesis."
"It's perfectly logical. Think about it. If you're craving cake and you eat only a forkful, it just leaves you wanting more. But if you eat lots and lots of cake, your craving for it goes away. Not permanently, of course, but you won't want to see cake again for a long time."
"Lots and lots?" her boyfriend asked as he broke eye contact.
She couldn't be sure if he was conscious of it, but he seemed to be undressing her with his eyes. (An odd impression to get from a man as stoic as he,) Amy thought.
"But coitus isn't cake," he said, finding her eyes again.
"Same concept, though."
Her boyfriend nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose I see your point."
"Good," she said. "Now, you have a seat on the bed and I'll go freshen up a bit."
"Don't leave. We should get started right away," Sheldon told her.
That was completely unexpected. Aside from admitting that he wanted to be intimate again, he didn't seem all that eager to begin before. Where had this come from? "I'll only be a minute."
"I don't want you to. Everything's exactly as it should be."
Amy looked confused. "Sheldon, what—?"
"Those times when you asked me not to shower. I'd like to ask the same," he said quietly.
Wait, wait, wait. This was her germaphobic boyfriend. He demanded the utmost cleanliness of everything around him. And honestly, it had been a little hot in her lab with all the daydreaming she'd been doing.
"A-alright," Amy murmured. Then she spoke loudly enough to be heard. "But if you change your mind once we get started, I'll never forgive you."
Her boyfriend nodded and the two of them just stood there looking at each other. She guessed that neither of them really knew how to go about getting started. The last time they did it there had been no discussion. She thought about getting undressed, but perhaps it would be more appropriate for him to take her clothes off.
After a moment of careful consideration and seeing a motionless Sheldon, Amy took his hands and guided them to the top button of her cardigan. But instead of taking the hint, his hands slowly roamed up to her shoulders and then up the sides of her neck until he gently cupped her face with his hands. Sheldon tenderly touched his lips to hers, eliciting a sweet sigh from the neurobiologist.
There seemed to be shyness in that kiss, even though they'd done all of this before. Was it because they were both aware of what was about to happen?
This was going to be difficult. The two of them were still standing near the door for goodness sake. So, she tugged on her boyfriend's shirts, guiding him toward the bed. He even seemed a little reluctant at first. What was the deal with that?
"Amy...," Sheldon began, as though he had something to say. She waited a few seconds for him to continue, but nothing else came out.
Amy sat him down on the bed while she stood in front of him, littering his face with little kisses. "Is something wrong?" she finally asked.
"The lights are on," he said.
"We've done things together while the lights were on before." In other words, she was afraid that if she turned her back on him to switch the lights off, he might vanish, never to be seen again.
She felt her boyfriend's hands as they found her hips and he seemed to be pulling them closer to him. Instead of waiting to find out what he was doing, Amy began unbuttoning her cardigan herself. And as soon as she started shrugging off her outer layer, Sheldon began unbuttoning her blouse for her. She hadn't expected him to help her and her heart began banging out its rhythm so loudly that she was sure Sheldon could hear it.
Suddenly it was she who wanted to turn the lights off. Those long thin fingers fumbled their way down the fabric of her shirt, their trail leaving the skin underneath her final layer tingling with excitement. She relished the sensation of his sliding the blouse off of her shoulders and down her arms.
"Um," Sheldon began as he paused to study her next layer. "The last time we did this, we didn't take our clothes off."
Amy sighed. "But we have undressed each other before. Besides, the last time we did this, we were barely awake," she reminded him.
Her boyfriend raised his eyebrows and nodded. But instead of continuing to undress her, his eyes lowered. She assumed he was looking at her skirt.
(Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue,) Amy chanted to herself. Yet she could feel that patience slipping away. She wanted to finally feel him inside her again and she was almost certain that he wanted the same, but with the way he was going about things, it would never happen.
She found herself tugging Sheldon's shirts over his head and when she looked down at him and saw that disheveled hair, she just wanted to push him down onto the bed and make it worse. Rather than doing that, however, she ran her fingers through his hair and began kissing him furiously on the lips. She felt her boyfriend's hands on her hips once again and he kissed her with just as much enthusiasm.
He attempted to pull her onto his lap, but her skirt wouldn't allow for it. With a frown he stated, "You were right in the fantasies you wrote. The clothes you wear are too complicated."
Amy groaned in irritation. "Then stop complaining and do something about it." And while she waited for him to start undressing her again, she grabbed the jumbo-sized box of flavored condoms, broke them open and pulled one out.
To her surprise Sheldon unbuttoned her skirt and pulled it down along with her tights and her underwear. She'd wanted him to take her clothes off, but she hadn't expected it to be all at once. After stepping out of everything that covered the lower half of her body, she was left standing in nothing but her last shirt and her bra. And while it was a little embarrassing, she couldn't help being turned on.
"Okay. I did something about it. Now what?" Sheldon asked.
His comment had been pretty snarky and that would've been a turn off if she weren't already so ready to get started. The thought crossed her mind to remind him that it was he who initiated intercourse the other morning and that he should know what to do, but she decided against it.
"Now you'll stand and I'll help you with yours," she told him.
Her boyfriend looked doubtful at first, but he stood anyway. It wasn't until Amy was about to unbutton his pants that she realized that he was just as excited as she was. It was sometimes hard to tell with him.
She stuck the condom package between her teeth so she could use both hands, and she easily unfastened and slid down both his pants and his briefs. Thankfully, he didn't argue or make any snide remarks. He simply stepped out of his pants and underwear. And even though the lights were on, he showed no signs of embarrassment at the situation.
Which was more than she could say for herself. Her boyfriend was completely naked except for a pair of socks and she was staring down at his almost completely rigid area of interest. She'd seen it before, but she hadn't really really looked at it. Perhaps he was of average size. She had very little on which to base a comparison. All she knew was that he'd somehow shoved it into her most intimate place with relatively little difficulty the other morning.
"You know, all of this is a little uncomfortable," Sheldon finally said.
He'd taken the words right out of her mouth. But from his lack of an embarrassed response, she never would've known he felt the same way.
"There must be a better way to go about all of this?" her boyfriend went on. "I wonder how Leonard and Penny initiate coital encounters."
Amy frowned and tossed the condom she was holding between her teeth onto her bed. "Could we avoid bringing up other people while we're trying to do this?"
"I'm just saying that from what I've observed, this is a relatively simple process for other couples," Sheldon told her. "Step One: Pair agrees to engage in amorous activities. Step Two: Pair disappears into a more private setting. Step Three: Pair reemerges ten minutes later having 'done the deed'."
Were they really standing here talking about this? He was completely naked save socks and she was naked from the waist down. Normally, this conversation would have to wait until a better time. Unfortunately, it was completely relevant to their current dilemma.
"Ten minutes, huh? It's taken us more than ten minutes just to get undressed," she pointed out.
"It's not my fault. You've been distracting me."
He was saying it like he hadn't been distracting her too. Even this little tangent was a detour from their goal. "Then what would you do if I weren't distracting you?" she asked as she put her hands on his shoulders and sat him on her bed again.
Sheldon thought for a moment. "Well, for one thing, I'd finish taking off your clothes."
And yet, he was just sitting there. This wasn't their Dungeons and Dragons imaginary coitus. This was the real deal. Or at least it was supposed to be.
"Then 'make it so'," Amy whispered to him.
It was kind of an obvious Star Trek: The Next Generation quote, and she knew that he knew she was referencing it. That may have been what caused his eyes to darken with lust.
(If he's this easy, maybe I should consider whispering sweet TNG references in his ear any time I'm in the mood,) she thought with a grin.
Her boyfriend slowly removed her glasses and set them on her nightstand. Then he tugged her last shirt over her head and dropped it on the floor with the rest of their discarded garments. It was apparent that Sheldon had developed a fascination with her breasts. Before he even bothered to unfasten her bra, his hands were drawn to them.
She allowed him to fondle her as much as he pleased even though she was still self-conscious about her entire body. She just hoped that he would let her do a little fondling of her own. Unfortunately, she was being thoroughly distracted by her boyfriend's huge hands.
His thumbs brushed the hardening nubs underneath the fabric of her brassiere and a gasp escaped her lips. And when her eyes fluttered back open, having once again closed without her knowledge, she found that her boyfriend was staring up at her face. He seemed to be studying her reactions.
Even though she wasn't wearing her glasses and couldn't see him very well, it was kind of making her uncomfortable. "Stop staring," she finally told him.
Sheldon frowned. "But you're so different when you're like this."
What he needed was another distraction. She slowly climbed onto his lap, straddling his legs, and began kissing the side of his neck. The little sigh she'd coerced from him caused her nether region to tingle with excitement.
His hands slowly trailed to her waist, then rested on her hips again and seemed to be trying to pull them closer. Unfortunately, if they were any closer, they would've been in full intimate contact. A dangerous thing without a condom.
So, she kept her distance for a little while and continued assaulting her boyfriend's neck with kisses and nibbles. And she was more than pleased to hear his breathing becoming more and more erratic as he attempted to pull her closer yet again.
She grinned against his skin and let one of her hands creep around to the back of his neck so she could gently play at the hairs there. He seemed to enjoy that before. And from the nearly non-existent moans that rose from his throat, she could tell he was enjoying it now. It really was one of his hot spots.
Her free hand slowly traced its way down his spine and she felt him shiver. That shiver was nearly her undoing. They needed to make progress and they needed to do it now.
"May I?" Amy asked as she reach over, picked up the condom package and tore it open. She didn't wait for an answer. It was pretty obvious that his intimate appendage was now fully alert. In the minimal area between their bodies, she left adequate space at his tip and rolled the condom down his length. She noticed that Sheldon was making an attempt to control his breathing yet again. That made her want to be naughty, so once everything was nice and secure, she stroked the tip of his longing a bit.
She wasn't sure how she expected him to respond, but she hadn't anticipated that he would lay her on the bed and grab the bottle of lubricant from her nightstand. Her intention had been to practice a little oral with him again since they had flavored condoms now, but he appeared to have something else in mind.
"You shouldn't have done that," Sheldon told her.
That almost sounded like some sort of threat.
"I want to bring you pleasure, but my heightened state of arousal may compromise my judgment," he went on.
Amy was confused and she wanted to ask a question, but she didn't have a chance. When she saw Sheldon slowly spreading her legs, she completely lost focus. She could only watch as he squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingertips.
Her boyfriend was taking all kinds of initiative these days. She never would've thought it possible, but here he was. He was not only talking about pleasuring her, but he was actually doing it. His fingers found her already moistened private area and began applying the artificial lube.
She was trying her best not to squirm too much, but there was something alluring about the lack of confidence in his movements. He also seemed to be watching her, possibly studying her reactions again.
"Is this okay?" Sheldon asked quietly as he continued to apply more and more lube.
The last thing she wanted to do was distract him with a bunch of noise, so she clamped her lips between her teeth and simply nodded.
Her boyfriend sighed. "As I recall, you told me to be forthcoming with my...'appreciation'. I expect no less from you."
Was he requesting that she make some sort of sound? Amy took a deep breath before she attempted to speak. "I...I didn't want to...distract you," she managed to say between breaths. But keeping her pleasured sounds at bay was becoming more difficult with each move her boyfriend's fingers made.
Sheldon's digits penetrated her entrance and she couldn't help letting out a quiet moan and moving against his fingers. Oh, how she was beginning to wish they'd turned off the lights. Oh, how she was beginning to lose the ability to think coherently. As a matter of fact, she was almost sure that he'd responded to her comment, but she couldn't really comprehend what he was saying.
To her surprise, he poked and prodded and added lubricant until she was moaning openly and desperately calling out his name. She could feel her orgasm approaching, yet she didn't want to finish without feeling him inside her.
"Are you ready?" her boyfriend asked.
Amy couldn't help chuckling a bit. "Ready? I'm almost done."
"Oh, I guess I got a little carried away," Sheldon said. He slowly removed his fingers and positioned himself at her entrance.
When he paused, she groaned, "Sheldon. Now."
He seemed to be applying lubricant to his condom-covered stiffness as well. "Don't be so impatient. I want to do this correctly."
But she didn't have to be patient for very long. Only a moment later she could feel him slowly entering her. She wasn't sure if it was all the lubricant or if it was the fact that they'd done this before, but his invasion wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as it was their first time. As a matter of fact, she was ready to feel him thrusting inside her.
Unfortunately, Sheldon was taking his time entering her. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
Amy nodded and moved her hips a little. More and more heat quickly rushed between her legs as he slowly filled her with his length. And even though she knew he hadn't entered her completely, she could feel him withdrawing a bit. "Sheldon...," she whimpered as she wrapped her legs around his hips. She hoped he wasn't planning to make an exit so soon. Not now.
The sound of his pent-up moan was both music to her ears and a beautiful shock to her entire reproductive system. He began slowly delving inside her again, this time a little deeper, and she heard him attempting to control his breathing.
With each of his slow movements she could feel her excitement building. "Oh, this is so amazing," Amy murmured between quiet moans. "You're amazing."
"Please, Amy. I'm trying to concentrate," Sheldon breathed.
He must have done some research and wanted to experiment. Either way, she was too worked up to think about it now. All she knew was that she was getting overheated and she was quickly approaching climax.
She hadn't intended to say anything else, but without thinking, she muttered, "Faster."
Whether he'd heard her or not, she wasn't sure. He did, however, pick up the pace. With each thrust his moans became louder and louder. And as she moved her hips with his, she felt that oh so wonderful feeling of ecstasy wash over her. The spasming of her muscles around his length seemed to surprise him.
She thought she heard Sheldon murmur something, but her senses weren't functioning properly since she was still riding that erotic wave of satisfaction. No, it hadn't felt like this the first time. And while their first time had been special to her, this time was definitely something to be savored. Especially since she could feel his final enthusiastic strokes as she continued to suffer mini spasms down there.
"Oh, Amy. Oh, wow," her boyfriend breathed as he was seized by his own fit of ecstatic convulsions.
Her mind was in a beautiful fog and she simply lay there catching her breath while Sheldon slowly removed himself from her most intimate place. She knew what the next step was. She knew her boyfriend was probably anxious for a shower, but before he could leave, she put her hand on his arm.
"Please stay for a while," Amy asked.
He looked both worried and confused. She should have expected that kind of reaction. "What about—?" he began, simply pointing toward his spent member and the condom that was his only saving grace.
"Don't worry. We have tissues. Besides, it's just for a little while. Then we can have our showers," Amy told him. She grabbed the box of tissues from her nightstand and set them on the bed.
"Well, what about—?" he began again, only this time, his eyes flitted down to her nether region.
Amy shook her head. "It's kinda messy down there, sure. Gimme a second. You go ahead and use your tissues."
The look of worry and confusion never left his face, but he grabbed a few tissues anyway, then turned his back to her. "I have to tell you, this is very unhygienic," he pointed out.
The neurobiologist rolled her eyes, found her underwear and slipped them back on. At least things would be less messy with those on. "I want to try something," she told him. She pulled back the covers on her side of the bed and signaled for him to do the same. And even though she felt silly in only her bra and panties, she slid underneath the blankets.
Sheldon looked at her strangely for a moment before putting his own underwear back on, pulling back the covers on his side and hopping into bed. "Let me guess. You want post-coital cuddling."
Amy nodded slowly.
Her boyfriend rolled his eyes and sighed. "Of course you do." And even though he was basically complaining, he rolled over so he would be facing her and put his arms around her.
She lay there in her boyfriend's arms for a few minutes simply enjoying his presence, his warmth, his scent. "Tonight was great," she finally said.
After a few seconds, Sheldon quietly asked, "Are you okay? Down there, I mean?"
Again, Amy nodded slowly. "It was very enjoyable, Sheldon. How was it for you?" She wasn't sure if she really wanted to ask that question, but she'd already asked it and the only thing left to do now was wait for his answer.
He took a moment to answer and she felt him take a deep breath before he did so. "Satisfactory."
Satisfactory?!
(Don't do this right now, Amy Farrah Fowler. He gave an answer and it was positive. Sure, the degree of positiveness of his answer is questionable, but it's an answer. To be honest, I'm surprised I got an answer out of him at all,) she thought.
So, she sighed and decided that his "satisfactory" was satisfactory. Besides, she'd gotten him to come back to bed and cuddle with her instead of running off to take a shower. With a small smile she whispered, "I'm glad it was a positive experience for you."
Sheldon seemed to be staring at her. As a matter of fact, it was a while before he spoke again. "It was. And now I'm feeling the sudden urge to kiss you."
Amy small smile broadened. "Okay." Unfortunately when she scooted a little closer for her kiss, her boyfriend pulled away. "What's wrong?" she asked, looking concerned.
"I don't think I should. Considering we just had coitus, it's hard to tell if this is a genuine desire or if it's a side effect of the euphoria following orgasm," he told her.
Amy sighed. "Just kiss me." But instead of letting him kiss her, she held his face in her hands and kissed him. And whether he really wanted to do it or not, he ended up responding to the kiss. They kept it nice and neat, however. No need to get all lusty about it. Especially when she was sure that it wouldn't take much to get her worked up again.
As soon as they stopped, Sheldon asked, "Can I go now? I can't imagine this is very enjoyable for you. I've been sweating and I've been wearing these same underwear all day."
"I don't mind. Besides, I like the way you smell when you sweat."
Her boyfriend looked at her strangely. "You are one odd bird."
"Well, you asked me not to freshen up before we got started." Unfortunately, that was all she could bring herself to say. She had no proof as to whether or not he liked the way she smelled. All she knew was that he'd asked her not to get cleaned up.
"That's true..." He paused for a long time before saying. "Anyway, I'm gonna go take that shower now."
She didn't really want him to leave, but she was getting uncomfortable with the artificial and natural lube that lingered between her legs. "Alright." Not to mention there had to be plenty of the same lubrication on her bedding as well.
After Amy got done changing her bedding and they both finished their showers and changed into clean clothes, the neuroscientist climbed into bed next to her dozing boyfriend. She couldn't really blame him for already being asleep. He'd been very active today.
She thought she would be able to slide into bed without waking him, but she was wrong. "Sorry," she whispered.
" 's okay," Sheldon mumbled. He turned to face her and looked at her with tired eyes. "Thank you for letting me sleep over," he said groggily.
"You're welcome," she whispered.
She was sure her boyfriend had drifted off to sleep again until she felt him scoot closer to her and drape his arm around her waist. A smile tugged at her lips and she tried to look into his eyes in the streetlamp light the shone through her window. Alas, it was not so. His eyes were closed and he was once again breathing the breaths of sleep.
More than happy to fall asleep in his arms, the last thing she heard was Sheldon mutter, "Thank you for letting me get inside your knickers again."
Had he been fully awake, he never would've said anything like that.
...to be continued...
a/n: I really missed doing this as often as I used to. It's so much fun writing these two, even when I get it wrong. Anyway, sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.
a/n: Also, thank you for your love and patience during my extended absence.
