Chapter 52 – Thy Embers Rekindled

Many years ago on Earth…

The pub's air was filled with smoke and the smell of beer; it was the weekend in Boston. I found myself staring aimlessly at a small disk-like object at the center of the table while a familiar voice hovered over his beer and talked with a hushed voice. I remember…

"You have to do this."

I interrupted, "No, I don't and you shouldn't ask me to do it. It's wrong." I swallowed some beer and banged my mug down on the table in frustration.

He said, "It's only Bill and I left, we're both compromised thanks to that damned traitor, but you and the others still have a chance to make this work."

I replied, "We can always start over."

He said, "No, you can't and if this goes public before it's over, the mere fact that we tried could start the very crisis it was intended to avert. It's not hard to imagine what 142 resource starved nuclear powers might do if they feel they're out of options or worse cut out of the big picture. It would only make things worse for everyone, especially Pandora."

There was an awkward silence as my eyes turned up from my beer to see my father's frustrated face. The renowned Doctor Ezekiel LeMay wasn't known for his spontaneity or rash ideas, so I didn't have to ask if this was a joke. I knew he was serious and I knew he'd thought it through from every angle. In his rational mind this was the only way to save the program. Damn, I hate his bloody arrogance, especially when it's spot on.

Ezekiel continued, "Don't go to Marcus. He knows none of these details and never will. He and I sat in this very bar just a few nights ago and drank to our plan's success. It's a plan that you and the others will carry out. Now do what I've told you and when it's done, go see Doctor Lattimer. He'll quietly add the memory to your vault with a 'no recall' tag. Considering the nature of this task, it's the least I could do. It's vital no one ever learns the truth. There's no need for you to have to live with it. The vault in your noggin will ensure its safety and your sanity into perpetuity. " I begrudgely nodded.

I started to say something but the words just weren't there. Ezekiel said, "Son, I love you and you know it. Your mother loves you too and knows it as well and when you see her, she'll remember everything."

My eyes suddenly focused on him, "Come again?"

Ezekiel grinned, "She has a memory vault as well but she doesn't know it yet. That car accident she was involved in a few weeks before she left for Pandora wasn't an accident. It was my doing." I was at a loss for words.

After a long pause Ezekiel finally continued, "You've got to trust me on this one. Everything you need is on this chip." With a slight of hand he dropped it in my beer. "Drink the beer and keep the chip in your mouth until you're out of here."

"Why?"

With a subtle glance around the bar Ezekiel replied, "Because we're being watched, so remain calm and don't start looking for them."

I didn't look, but my eyes instinctively dropped down to stare into my beer.

Ezekiel came closer and whispered, "You need to go now and you have to make it convincing for them. Don't worry; I know the truth and so does God. He'll forgive you, so make sure it leaves no doubt, no trail. It must be real for everyone to believe."

I looked back up at him with cold eyes, "I get the idea."

Ezekiel leaned back in his seat, "I know it's never been your strong suit but its time to take a leap of faith, son. Do as I've asked and then follow your heart. I believe it'll help you find your way."

Suddenly Ezekiel's tone change and grew louder as he swallowed the last of his beer and start rambling on about my arrogance and lack of faith. With a drunken swagger he slammed his mug down on top of the small disk. My face turned stone cold for a few seconds as I stared at the broken device. "You're a bloody fool, you know." I swallowed the last of my beer and slammed my mug down on the table even harder. I yelled out, "I'm bloody done with this mess, you stubborn old man!" I stood up from the booth, "As for Christmas…it's bloody cancelled! Don't call me and I wo…" I felt something touch me.

Pandora. Not far from Hometree by a small river…

I jumped as Jake touched my shoulder. I yelped, "…Won't call you! Wait!"

Jake asked, "Nathan, you alright?"

I looked down at myself and I realized it was only a dream. No, it was a memory. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and said, "Sorry. I must have dozed off."

"Niysia told me I'd find you down here. She said, "you've been down here by the river for several hours a day since we got back."

I nodded, "I've been trying to work through some personal stuff and it's been difficult."

Jake grinned, "I guess so. I heard you mumbling to yourself as I walked up. Something about a bloody mess in a vault and someone you won't call."

I replied, "That's funny, I just recently found out myself that I've been talking in my sleep. Odd, I never did that before I was a Na'vi." I shrugged my shoulders, "Since I've become a one of the people, I've learned just how bad of a human I was before. It's…"

Jake interrupted, "It's a long time ago and not on Pandora."

After a short, awkward pause I said, "True, for the most part. I really don't know for certain. Ever since my transition old memories I didn't know I had have broke through in moments of tense emotion. Lately it's gotten worse because they've started to surface in great detail without any emotional stress. Since we finished with the Fortune Miner my mind has felt more at ease. I've been coming down here to try to work through it privately."

Jake asked, "And?"

"Like I said before…it's been difficult. That's why I wanted to be alone for a while."

Jake said, "Why now? I mean why didn't it happen sooner?"

I replied, "Have you ever heard of a 'Memory Vault?'"

"Isn't that a treatment for mental illness? Back when I was in the V.A. hospital rehab on Earth I met a guy with severe posttraumatic stress syndrome that said he'd taken the treatment. I don't remember what happened to him, but I know he acted different, calmer, like the memories couldn't haunt him any longer."

I replied, "That was a common medical use for it. The publicly accepted use, that is. However, a stronger more refined version has been effectively used by the military and intelligence services for 20 or 30 years. The point being…I used to have one. It was a combination of physical adjustments in the brain that involved psychological training and conditioning all of which created a kind of secure vault in your mind."

Jake nodded, "I get the concept."

With a grim expression on my face I nodded. "It's hard to explain the science behind how it works because I don't understand it all myself but what I do know is that mine's been compromised. First, there was the death of my human body, which removed the physical adjustments. Then, over these past several months the mental blocks have been coming undone as well. A few days ago when we were on the bridge of the Dark Miner something changed and the memories were just there, free to remember without any stress. You see every memory vault has a trigger word, something obscure usually. I think mine was the word, TACAMO. A word Niysia said she heard me whisper to her back in the schoolhouse while I was still under the nanite influence. I wish I understood why and maybe one day I will remember but I guess not today." I shrugged my shoulders in frustration.

Jake said, "So why didn't your memories come back all at once?"

"I'm not sure, but I suspect it's like a fail-safe in your mind or just the way it works. Either way, the memories are there but they seem to only resurface when another memory leads to them. I must have hit on one of those trigger memories while I was asleep and I'm actually thankful you woke me because it wasn't a pleasant experience."

Jake said, "I could tell by the tears that were welling up in your eyes."

I nodded, "There was nothing good about it. As a matter of fact most of them have been memories I'd rather not recall but it appears I don't have a bloody choice. After all, they're my memories whether I like them or not."

Jake said, "Then let them go. They're in the past so let them stay there and you live in the present as the respected Na'vi we all know you are."

A slight smile formed on my face, "Perhaps you're right. I can't change the past but perhaps I can use those memories to help shape the future."

Jake's face took on a curious look, "How so?"

With a somber tone in my voice, I stated, "I remember the endgame. The humans are coming back."

Jake asked, "How did you know? That was why I was looking for you in the first place. I just got off the radio with Colonel Quaritch before I came down here. The Vigilance survived and she's returned with reinforcements it seems."

I laughed, "Jake, those reinforcements were part of the plan all along. The humans aren't leaving Pandora, no matter what we might want. They're building a new space station up there right now or will very soon. They'll call their new mission, 'Operation Vigilant Realm.'"

Jake's face began to resonate a mixture of frustration and sadness, "Damn. Why can't this end?"

I replied, "Oh, that's the idea." Jake started to speak but I cut him off, "They want their ore but they also want peace. If they followed the plan, an ambassador from Earth should be with them." Jake, with a distinct hint of distrust in his tone commented, "We'll see how serious they are."

I nodded, "I'll tell you everything I can remember on the way back to Hometree."

I pulled myself up from the tree I'd been leaning against. Jake said, "Before we head back there's something I'd like to ask you about." I gave him my attention and he continued, "It's a private question, just between you and I."

I asked, "Would it happen to be about the L.T.?"

Jake nodded, "I'd like to know why you've called me that twice since you've been on Pandora.

Jake could tell the question had immediately made me uncomfortable and he added, "It can wait if necessary. I was only curious about it."

I replied, "It's a valid question that deserves a straight answer."

Jake grimaced, "Now I'm not sure if I want to know."

I grinned, "Welcome to my world."

With some reluctance in my tone I said, "L.T. was the nickname we gave your brother, Tom Sully."

Jake with a hint of surprise in his voice asked, "You knew my brother? How?"

I slowly nodded and continued, "He was already working on his advanced degree when he was recruited for a covert assignment on Pandora. It was my team's job to give him the training he'd need to carry out his mission."

Jake broke in, "What mission? He never said anything about being in the military."

"No, he was a civilian. His nickname was my sergeant's idea because he was something of a natural leader and bloody quick on his feet so he took one of his old nicknames and gave it a military flavor, per say.

Jake commented, "Lightfoot. That was his nickname in high school when he played soccer."

I laughed, "He was more like Greased Lightning but Lightfoot fits the bill, just the same. He finished first on nearly every obstacle course we put him through. Anyway, I think you're tracking." With a slight grin on his face as if he'd just relived a happier memory, Jake nodded.

I continued, "As for his mission? I was never fully briefed on the details for security reasons. His cell's primary objective was to protect and support the Avatar program until my team arrived.

Jake asked, "What kind of cell?"

"It was 'need-to-know,' and at the time, I didn't need that information. I would have been briefed on arrival but since he never made the trip and the 2154 crisis occurred, I don't know. I don't even know who his cell members were, although I suspect some of them probably still supported Dr. Augustine throughout the crisis but I don't know that for certain. Jake asked, "The mugging? Was it for real?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it was bloody real alright."

Jake said, "For some reason I've always felt like they weren't telling me everything when they offered me Tom's contract."

For a few seconds I stared out over the river and then turned back to look at Jake. "As far as I know he was mugged and stabbed to death. At that time I was already undercover at M.I.T. but our people did an investigation and found no evidence of foul play except for one mystery. Witnesses said they saw Tom defending a blond haired woman that was with him when the crime took place. After he was stabbed they said she ran. Neither the police nor our people ever found her. To this day we don't know for sure what her connection to Tom was or why they were together that night. It's possible she was a girlfriend but if so he kept it secret from everyone. I wish I could say without a doubt it was bad luck but in my previous line of work, cause and effect don't exist in a vacuum."

Jake replied, "I guess this was meant to be after all." He glanced down at himself.

I chuckled at his comment. Jake turned to stare at me. I said, "Your coming here was not by chance. Tom used to talk about you all the time. He was especially proud of your service in the Corps. You may not know it, but he'd already set aside enough money out of his outbound travel pay to fix your human legs. I just thought you should know that because he really loved you and made no secret about it to me or his colleagues."

Jake with a humbled look on his face slowly replied, "I didn't know that. He and I hadn't spoke for several months before the mugging. We'd had a bad argument, bad well…"

I interrupted, "I'm certain he understood."

Jake slowly nodded as he fought off the urge to break down and weep at the memory of his brother and the things he'd just learned.

There was a short silence before I continued, "Anyway, after he was killed you were the logical choice for RDA's contract. Our people provided the influence to ensure you were assigned to Dr. Augustine as her Avatar security and we hoped you'd do the right thing. What you did went far beyond anyone's wildest expectations." I paused and realized Jake was just staring at the ground. I said, "You okay?"

After a few seconds he looked up at me, "Thank you for telling me the truth."

I reluctantly snickered, "Hell, after what you've gone through you deserve some straight answers."

A horn sounded in the distance…

Jake said, "Sounds like Wokan is looking for me."

"When you're the boss you're always popular." We both chuckled and I added, "I'd be happy to tell you the rest anytime you want to hear it." Jake actually smiled this time.

I picked up my bow and arrows from the ground but I paused, "There is one more thing you should know before we head back." Jake turned and replied, "Ok."

I asked, "Did Wokan tell you about what happened to Yerik?" Jake nodded, "Yes. He tried to rescue Corporal Amanda Randolph from under the Fortune Miner but neither of them made it out." Jake's smile faded as his thoughts turned back to the loss.

I took a deep breath and said, "He was a brave young lad. He was the youngest of the warriors to volunteer to become one of my Blades. I told him next season and he volunteered instead to be a spotter and help the humans. I didn't think anything of it at the time but it turns out there was a reason."

Jakes ears perked up and I gained his full attention, "What do you mean?"

Both Niysia and Aketuan have mentioned to me since we got back that they'd seen Yerik and Amanda together. Close together."

Jake nodded, "I didn't know that."

"Neither did I, but it seems they had grown close on a intimate level."

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds and Jake thoughtfully commented, "A Na'vi and Human female. Intimate?"

"Look at you and I, we're proof that love's not exclusively a human emotion. It's also the best explanation as to why a skilled Ikran rider would dive under a crashing spaceship with almost no chance of escape."

Jake replied, "Well when you put it like that…"

I interrupted, "He loved her Jake and so any chance made it worth the risk. I know in my heart I would have taken that same course of action despite the odds if it had been Niysia."

Jake added, "For Neytiri, I would take that chance as well. I see your point."

With a more thoughtful and upbeat tone in my voice I added, "It's something to keep in mind, since our contact with the human race shows no signs of ending."

Jake nodded, "I'll keep it in mind. You ready to head back?" I nodded and we both started back up the trail toward Hometree.

I glanced back once at the river and commented; "Perhaps I've had enough time by the river for a while."

Jake laughed, "I doubt it."

I chuckled and added, "You know, speaking of humans…there's one I'd like you to consider for permanent residency."

Jake grinned, "Let me guess, Veleska?"

"Why not? She appears to have turned over a new leaf and after all, what is Pandora if not a place for second chances."

Jake chuckled at the analogy, "I'll think about it."

I replied, "Fair enough."