Chapter 55: Kakashi: Falling Star (part 3)
When I awoke, Iruka wasn't beside me.
My eyes opened wide searching the place in panic, but I soon found that he was still there, sitting on the ground and looking at the blue soldier pill in the palm of his hand. He knew that taking this last pill would seal his fate. In twelve hours or so his chakra channels would snap, and he would be gone. He could still step back and not take it — he would probably gain a few extra days — but this wasn't like him.
He took a deep breath.
Giving up his life was not as easy as he wanted me to believe. He had so many things that still held him down here…
Closing his eyes, he took the pill and emptied his canteen. By his jagged breath, I could tell that he was trying to bury away the tears. I wanted to go and hug him, to support him in what may be the most difficult moment of his life, but it wasn't something I was meant to see, so I kept my chakra even and fell back into sleep.
When he woke me up, I could tell by the light in the cave that not much time had passed. His smile and loving expression were back in place. He had not known that I was awake. He pulled me by the hand to his little private onsen in the corner of the cave, and we silently washed one another in the warm water. It wasn't the passionate showers we took back home; it was more of a purifying ritual. He was preparing to sacrifice himself for the village, and I was preparing to hand him over to the other world.
When we got out, I dried him off, massaged his scalp and the tensed muscles of his back. His body was ready for what was coming up.
I took him in my arms and felt the contact of his skin on mine for one last time. I breathed in the smell of sweet vanilla that always clung to his hair, but I knew I had to let go. He had a duty to accomplish.
"Kakashi," he said shyly. "May I... wear yours?" He was holding my shirt in his hand. Saying this, he blushed as if he had asked me something truly indecent. It was incredibly cute to see him that way... Kami, how much I loved him!
"'Ruka, it's full of sweat. Are you sure you want to wear that?"
He nodded.
"When I go there… to feel you beside me… it would give me some strength."
My deduction had been right; he was definitely scared.
I took the shirt from his hand and passed it over his head, kissing his forehead as his head popped out of the collar. He hugged the shirt I just lent him over himself, closing his eyes. For a moment, his face displayed a peaceful expression.
"Thank you," he said simply as he finished dressing up.
I dressed up too.
We wouldn't eat. There was no point when you were about to do what he was going to do. We left and walked toward the entry point in silence, each lost in our thoughts. I looked sideways once in a while. Despite the turmoil that was raging inside, he seemed resolute and strong. He was beautiful.
We stopped in front of a small opening. This was it. He would have to go in. He raised on his toes and grabbed the collar of my vest, then, with all the passion he had, he kissed me, leaving me completely breathless. Even as he backed up, his eyes wouldn't leave mine.
"Kakashi," he said. "I swear to you; I'll be coming back. I have something else to do before I die, so wait for me."
With that, he entered the mountain with nothing but a few kunais and a stack of exploding tags. I jumped into a nearby tree making sure I left no trace of our presence. Despite the drama we were living, the morning forest was quiet. It reminded me that our lives were nothing in the greater order of things. We were not special; just living beings fighting for survival. What we felt, what we thought… none of this changed anything. We were all destined to die in the end.
I brought my knees under my chin and circled my arms around my legs just as I did as a kid. Immediately, my hitai-ate and my mask became wet from the tears I had refused to shed a moment ago. My whole body was shaking, but I couldn't let the emotions overwhelm me, not now. Iruka needed me still… I concentrated on my breath slowly going in, out, and then in again.
There was no fear, no pain, no nothing.
As I felt the rumbles of the explosions shaking the ground, I repeated to myself that this was an ordinary day, that Iruka would come back alive. I refused to go beyond that moment.
Obito's eyes still cried, but mine had dried up. Soon, I heard the sound of clothing and leaves. As promised, Iruka was back. His face was covered with dust from the explosion, but he had made it. Then my heart skipped a beat, and my body moved before even realising what was happening. I felt my hand going through the chest of an enemy nin that had been right behind him. I had trapped Iruka's body between the cave wall and my own while the chidori had burned the nin's insides leaving behind the familiar smell of calcined flesh.
When I backed up, Iruka smiled.
"So this is how it feels to be saved by the great Hatake Kakashi! I am happy I got to know that feeling before I died…"
The smile faded, then his eyes rolled back for a second, and he fell to his knees. I hadn't seen it because he had been leaning on the wall, but there was a wide gash on his left flank. Now, I saw the red streak covering the rocks. He had lost a lot of blood.
"Iruka!"
That wound, I knew he wouldn't survive it. It was over for him.
"Please, Kakashi…" he said painfully. "Bring me back to the camp. I would like to see Hiroki again. I have something to give her."
I took his body in my arms. He could still help himself up a little, but he wouldn't last long. I felt dizzy, but there was no time to lose if I was to grant his last wish. I disappeared with him in a flash and landed at the edge of the camp.
His arms reached out to me.
"Kakashi, thanks for the ride and thanks for being by my side, now as always."
I wanted to reply to him, to say something memorable, but my mind was stunned.
"I love you Iruka," was the only thing I could say as my tears fell on his face. I wiped my eyes.
He smiled.
"Don't cry," he said softly. "I dreamt of this moment a lot, you know… and it is as perfect as in my visions. I am ready to go. Now kiss me goodbye and bring me to her."
I kissed him, allowing my body to say what I wasn't able to put in words. When our lips parted, however, it was as if he ripped a piece of my soul away.
"Hiroki!" I shouted as I went into an empty tent laying Iruka softly on a pile of pillows. I heard her little feet splashing in the mud as she ran toward us.
When she finally came in, her mouth dropped in shock.
I walked toward her, pressing my forehead against hers. I couldn't quite remember what I said to her, I was devastated inside. I lightly squeezed her shoulder and watched her as she moved past me and knelt before Iruka. I stood there for a few seconds, looking for one last time at Iruka's soft dark hair, his rich caramel skin and his expressive chocolate eyes, then I left.
It was over.
I wouldn't see him again… for all eternity.
