Weiss Reacts to The Shadow of Fire, Part 3!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! As a favour to our friend Dagger of Faith, we'll be doing a third cover of her fanfic 'The Shadow of Fire'. It's also possibly the only fic with the honor of being covered by Weiss Reacts not once, not twice, but three times! I THINK it's an honor- I mean, I don't know how this fic's so well-known, but eh.
That kept in mind, let's get this chapter out of the way!
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a Indiana Jones-esque Hunter. I'm going to be stealing that for an OC idea now.
The Shadow of Fire belongs to Dagger of Faith. Warning for spoilers.
All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.
"My life is complete!" Yang announced, hanging the bokken that had hit her on the head, giving it pride of place on her wall, alongside various plushies, signed memorabilia of Hokuago Teatime, Risette, Pentakill and AKB0048, with only one significant gap; to this day, she hadn't found the Pink Argus Featherman picture she'd gotten signed from the actress herself that she'd lost, so she'd assumed it got lost in the invisible vortex where all lost socks, keys and assorted deitrus did.
Weiss stared at her. "You don't even know if it belongs to this Taiga girl-"
"Of course it does! It has her NAME on it!" Yang protested, pointing to several tiny characters inscribed onto the handle, indeed translating to 'T. Aisaka'. "If only she'd actually shown up, though..."
Blake scoffed. "I think someone's screwing with you then, Yang. Unless you're seriously suggesting Taiga got lost to her own cameo..."
"Pfft." The brawler shook her head. "You're just jealous that I have Taiga's very own bokken!"
"...that she hit you on the head with after throwing it through the window." Ruby reminded her.
"It's STILL a victory!"
Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, attempting not to lose her temper. "Someday, Yang, we're going to get you checked with the school counsellor, and then we're going to see what is wrong with you."
"Wrong with me? I'm perfectly fine!" Yang retorted. "M-meanie!"
The heiress' eyes narrowed. "Can we find something to do before I'm tempted to execute Yang for idiocy? Seriously, I'm tempted to steal that 'dumb Chihuahua' insult, it describes Yang perfectly."
"I'm offended by such a comment!" Yang protested. "I'd describe myself more like a Great Dane, or a Saint Bernard!"
Blake rolled her eyes. "You two, get a room."
They both turned to her, glaring. "S-shut up, Blake!"
Ruby raised a finger. "We could read that one fic that we never really read again because stuff came up."
"That's a lot of fics." Blake reminded her. Ruby tapped her chin thoughtfully.
"Um...it was the...err...Shadow of Flames? I think?"
"The Shadow of Fire." The catgirl snapped her fingers in realisation. "I think that's it. Good idea."
"We're using your computer, since mine's still being repaired after someone," Weiss stated venomously, glaring at Blake. "...after someone decided to calculate some stupid equation of fanservice and manliness!"
"I said I was sorry, dammit!" The catgirl protested. "I even paid for repairing your computer!"
"Still doesn't mean you didn't break it." The heiress reminded her harshly. "But fine, I guess we'll use Ruby's computer instead, if you insist."
"Okay." Ruby shrugged. "So, Yang, grab some snacks, I guess we're going on another binge!"
"We haven't done anything fun in a while!" The brawler complained. "All we do nowadays is sit around in here and watch anime or read fanfic!"
"And your ideas are mainly stupid perverted antics." Weiss retorted snappily. "I rest my case!"
"You people are boring..."
"Those are some serious stakes." Yang whistled at the notion of Heaven itself being at war with each other. "This sounds like a Shin Megami Tensei game."
"Or Disgaea." Blake pointed out. "Eh. Sounds like Team Dai-Gurren needs to get in there and knock some heads together to get them to see sense."
"Ugh...why am I such a stupid pervert here?!" Weiss complained. "I would never picture Ruby in a red bikini! NEVER!"
"Right, you'd picture her in black." Yang commented, earning a punch on the arm.
"Ugh, you're such a deviant, you know that?"
"I live by that creed."
Blake whistled, tapping her chin in contemplation. "We should get Siegmund and Dagonus in the same room and see who'd win."
"Knowing Dagonus and knowing Siegmund...as much as I hate to say it, I don't know who'd win that fight." Yang commented. "And you know it's that kind of universe when people use 'being dead' as a relationship enhancer."
Weiss rolled her eyes. "As if. We're not that easy to kill.
...and WHY DOES RUBY ALWAYS GET KILLED OFF ARE YOU KIDDING ME"
"Aww man, why do I always get killed off?!" Ruby complained. "I like living, you know!"
"...you know, that's not even the first time you died in this fic." Yang mused. "At this point, the Underworld probably has a revolving door for you or something."
"Still!"
"Wait, Ruby, getting higher than me on a test?" Weiss stared at the screen in shock, her mouth agape and her eyes wide.
"Even I think that's a tad bit unrealistic." Ruby nodded in assent. "I don't study at all!"
Blake's expression hardened. "You sound like you're proud of that."
"Hey! I get, like, seventy-five percent! That's a passing grade!"
"The only class you ever bother doing anything in is Self-Defence." Weiss muttered. Ruby pouted, crossing her arms.
"T-that's because Cinder's a fun teacher!"
"...okay, Ozpin I can accept came back to life fourteen times." Blake nodded. "He can scare Zelretch, for Dust's sake-certainly scared me, at any rate. He could probably make Death make him coffee for fun or something."
Weiss sighed. "...and now Ruby's a complete nutter. Or a pervert. I can't even tell!"
"Nutter. I doubt she's trying to jump your bones, Weiss~" Yang teased her. "Not if she's biting you, at any rate.
Blake exhaled, sitting back on her beanbag, popping another piece of popcorn into her mouth. "So, the apparent 'Master' Hunter gets blown up, and Ozpin is even more of a badass as he ends up pulling some Sidereal-level kung-fu magic.
Is Ozpin Exalted or something?"
"Probably." Yang shrugged. "Wouldn't be surprised if our Ozpin was Exalted."
...
"Death's cheap in this world." Yang yawned. "Seriously, as well as she writes it, it's not shocking to see Ruby die a third time. Seriously, even Weiss should be used to it by now!"
"An exploded heart. That sounds exactly like a Fatality..." Blake shuddered. "Or that one technique from Kill Bill..."
Ruby frowned. "Why do people always kill me off?!"
"You're the adorable all-loving moe hero. So, you're basically between Isara and Mami in the eyes of the plot reaper." Yang pointed out. "Unless we're in one of those fics which follows shonen rules, in which case everyone AROUND you dies.
Which, granted, isn't very comforting for us."
Blake clapped slowly. "Points for going out in style at least. Can't deny that turning into an interdimensional portal's a good way to go."
"I'm not a Final Fantasy summon, dammit!" Ruby pouted. "I don't like being the one who always gets killed off..."
"How do you think I feel?" Weiss chimed in. "I get killed off in fics all the time to make you cry!"
The brawler shrugged again. "Least this fic's got the benefit of being in a world where death is cheap!"
"Gee, like that's going to soften the blow of being killed for the umpteenth time! I feel SO much better now!" The heiress stated harshly.
Ruby cheered. "I ended up as the goddess of time! I'm awesome!"
"Oh good grief, Ruby turned into Chronos." Yang sighed. "I'm wondering if this author knew about Persona Q before it came out, all things considered.
We also might need one of those 'Orion owned' counters. You know, like Krillin does in that one abridged series!"
"Of course." Weiss grumbled. "Of COURSE, even when she's a goddess who is practically in full genocide mode, she picks cookies as her pass code! What an absolute dunce!"
"Weiss Melody Schnee?" Yang snickered. "Least it's better than Brunhilde..."
Weiss glared at her. "Brunhilde is a RESPECTABLE name! "
"Just saying~"
"...and trust Weiss to call the god of love to fight for her. Why can't she call the god of Killing Things Horribly With A Silver Spoon or something?" Blake complained.
"Take what I get." Weiss shrugged casually. "As irritating as that sounds."
...
"Oh, look, we even have a Zen counterpart. I think. I dunno, I'm probably getting that plot part mixed up." Yang scratched her head, shaking it in the end.
"Two Rubys?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Sounds...intriguing."
"I bet you're imagining having two girlfriends now, hm?" Blake teased Weiss, earning a blush and a glare.
"S-shut up! I am not! I have the benefit of lacking Yang's perversion, thank you very much!"
"Grimmlock?" Yang cringed. "That...is an absolutely terrible pun!
Grimlock would be ashamed. Or pissed. Probably the latter."
"I'd think the King of Beasts would be a lion or something." Blake mused, nodding slowly. Weiss scoffed.
"Clearly it would be a shark! Sharks are the perfect creatures! They haven't even changed a bit in eons! They are perfection! PERFECTION!"
...
"How is three years considered not long?! We're humans, not immortals!" Weiss complained.
"Once again, our theory that Ozpin in this fic is secretly a Sidereal Exalted is given proof." Blake tapped her chin. "Excellent."
"Even as a goddess, Ruby's still a pervert." Weiss grumbled. "Seriously, she can handle a naked girl! It's not like we're about to do something indecent!"
Yang giggled. "Ruby just can't handle the delicious flat chest~"
"MY CHEST IS ADEQUATE YOU MORON NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT IT OR I SWEAR I WILL HAVE YOU EXECUTED FOR TREASON!"
Ruby merely drooled. "Flat...chests..."
"...and I do NOT think I want to trust Blake anywhere near my head with a scalpel. Or her weapon. Even if I needed to have a tracker in my head- which is a terrible place to put it- removed!" The heiress shuddered at the thought. The catgirl crossed her arms, offended.
"Gee, thanks. Nice to know my best friend trusts me so much!" She rolled her eyes, inducing Weiss to shoot a glare at her.
"Knowing you, you'd probably use a drill to pull it out!"
"That, I can't deny." Blake sighed, conceding the point.
"That's not comforting at ALL!"
"Yang? Mature?" Weiss scoffed, shaking her head. "I don't even know how gods can mistake her for mature."
"Maybe because I'm just so curvaceous and sexy-looking~"
"No, then Winter would be more mature." Weiss remarked with a smirk, knowing full well the effect it would have on Yang. The brawler gave her a dark look, breathing heavily.
"Quit that. Just quit that, Weiss. Just watch, I will make myself sexier than her! Just you watch!"
"...I'm offended that I'm scared of dogs here!" Blake scoffed. "Being scared of dogs isn't manly!"
"Didn't you own a pet Grimm?" Weiss inquired. "What happened to him?"
"Cerberus?" The catgirl tilted her head. "Oh, he's somewhere."
"Come to think of it, where's Zwei?" Yang scratched her head. "Haven't seen him all day."
Ruby raised a finger. "I let him out to walk. Cinder said it was okay as long as he didn't break anything."
"You utter dunce..." Weiss slapped her forehead. "They're probably doing something stupid now."
Meanwhile...
"PIPIPIPIPI!" Vivi squealed as a horde of fangirls chased after her. Cerberus, the tamed Beowolf, ran away from them, bearing the plushie, howling in terror of the horde.
Zwei was sprinting alongside them, having a bag of Ruby's cookies in his mouth.
Driving alongside them was Norn on a motorcycle, surveying the situation with her flat face.
"...the likelihood of this situation ending well is under one percent, miss Vivi-"
"PIPIPIPI!" Vivi commanded, yanking on Cerberus' fur more and moving faster. Norn stared at her.
"...so it seems."
Back with team RWBY...
"...and dammit, Saturn! We've killed you, what...okay, we've only killed you once, but do you mind staying dead?!" Weiss cried, exasperated. "Seriously!"
...
Weiss inhaled, before absolutely losing it on the screen.
"YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU PICKING HIM UP FOR HELP?! THE WHOLE OF THE VYTALIAN CONTINENT AND THE MAN WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU IS THE ONE YOU PICK?!"
"He's a mercenary. Probably won't kill you as long as you keep him paid." Yang shrugged. "As much as you hate his guts, at least he's loyal to your money."
"I'm still going to call my story-self an idiot for trusting him."
"Cheshire is Pinkie Pie, everyone knows this, I called it!" Blake announced. "And no, this is not an announcement that MLP's going to be covered by this fic, Elf STILL doesn't find it interesting!"
"You just disappointed all the fans, Blake." The brawler remarked with a chuckle.
"And I feed on their tears."
"...wow. That Maelstrom. Isn't that like that-" Yang started, before Blake shot a glare at her, silencing her.
"Like?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. Ruby looked over, curious.
"Yeah, like?"
"None of your business." The catgirl cut them off, much to Weiss' surprise.
"...actually, probably wise I don't know." The heiress reflected. "It's going to be a stupid antic, I know it."
"Good, wouldn't be wanting to give spoilers away just yet."
...
"NOW Saturn's a good guy?" Weiss stared at the screen in shock. "I don't even...what?!"
"So far, we have Touko and her organisation, Xalveris and his, and all the good guys." Yang nodded, rubbing her temples. "This is confusing me..."
"You and me both..." Ruby whined, frowning. "Nyaaaaah...so confused..."
Weiss sighed. "Story-self, you're a moron. Not even thinking about the whole Dagonus thing when you know full well he's scum!"
"Shush. Plot needs to happen." Yang cautioned her. Weiss sighed.
"Still..."
"Well, so much for Ozpin being a Sidereal Exalted." Blake sighed. "And damn he moved fast."
"Woooow. Everyone got wrecked." Yang whistled.
Weiss grumbled. "And I have no doubt that we'll win at Fort Scatter only to get killed again when we get back to Vale..."
"At this rate, everyone's going to be dead by the last chapter and it'll be all about talking about the weather." Ruby quipped.
"I seriously doubt that, Ruby." The heiress sighed, shaking her head. "Although it'll come really close..."
...
Weiss' eyes narrowed.
"Indeed, the heroes of your world are complete idiots." The heiress conceded, exhaling deeply. "Just how does one teleport themselves into a desk?!"
"I dunno! Things happen, Weiss!" Ruby protested, frowning.
"Ohohoho, things are happening now!" Yang noted. "Pod bombardment, Vale being sacked...this ought to be interesting."
"Guess she's earned the right to be called Cheshire." Blake clapped slowly. "Ouch, that ought to hurt..."
"Are you serious?" Weiss sighed. "Great. More cannibals. We already have enough cannibals in this fanfic archive as it is!
And if she's going to insult people, at least insult them with some sense of intelligence! It's spelled mice! Not mouses!" Her eyelid twitched.
"She eats people and you're commenting on her spelling?" Yang responded, raising an eyebrow.
"At least Hannibal has the intelligence to be well-spoken."
The brawler nodded slowly. "You...make a surprisingly twisted point there."
...
"Orion, you blind dunce." Weiss slapped her forehead with her palm for the umpteenth time. "If you somehow suspect it's Dagonus whose behind everything, then have a look! Not hard!"
"Somehow, I suspect this thing's supposed to be a tragedy of errors." Yang noted. "He may not be perfect, but dammit, Orion, you already know Dagonus will do anything to get his throne!"
"Meanwhile, Adam beats someone up." Blake declared. "Eh. Not surprised."
"Cheshire's still a disgusting cannibal..." The heiress muttered, shuddering.
Ruby stared at the screen. "Woooow, my dad is a jerk."
"You only just noticed?" Weiss remarked.
"But he just took over a kingdom because he wanted a throne!"
"My point stands, Ruby."
"If Cinder ever heard Ruby say that, she'd probably go mad." Yang chuckled.
"Cinder's a cool name!" The reaper protested. "How is it dumb?!"
Blake shrugged. "I dunno, same way someone named after an ice cream can be dumb."
"To be fair, Neo isn't exactly a dumb name." Yang reminded her.
"Good point."
"...aaaand my dad in this world's a jerk, but at least he has the guts to own up to it." Weiss sighed. "Typical."
Ruby looked at the screen, gesturing to it. "You see?! Even THEY know I keep getting killed!"
"She probably just enjoys killing you off or something." The brawler shrugged. "No matter how many times she says she doesn't."
...
"Ugh. Not even a fun fight." Blake scoffed. "Adam, you suck-wait, wait, WHAT?!
Are you serious?! I...that's so stupid! Mecha-Grimm pinning me down?! How unmanly!"
"Not everyone's as manly as you, Blake! Get over it!" Weiss snapped bitterly. "Seriously!"
"MANLINESS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!"
"And, as expected, Saturn's a backstabbing traitor who's only loyal to money." Weiss rolled her eyes. "As I said, my story-self should never have trusted him.
Now, we're done here. Review?"
Ruby raised her hand. "I wanna do it! I never get to do it anymore!"
From: DaLittleRougeFightingHood
i love this fic omd pls mkae mor
luv, rubes
ps. stp kiling me of pls it maks me cri
Weiss rolled her eyes. "As always, your spelling amazes me, Ruby."
Ruby merely giggled. "I just type too quickly..."
Yang looked around, hoping for something fun to happen. "...no Taiga cameo? Seriously?
...screw this, I want to react to another anime soon. Just so I can actually get my stupid cameo trick thing out of the way!"
END
A/N: A huge thanks to Dagger of Faith for letting us do her fic once more!
Next chapter, finally, we will be doing the party game Mafia.
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, thoughts and criticisms, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!
