Author's Note: This is part two of the Valentine's Day set. This is all original with some references to First Date and such, but this one is for what I didn't include last chapter. It's slightly necessary but it wouldn't have any relevance to The First Date, so I decided to post it in its own chapter. Of course, you don't mind. :) The next episode I will be writing on is "Prom Night" (is very excited.) Hope you enjoy this one!

Love,

Angie

PS: I was bored the past couple of days so I made a timeline collage for each of the gang. Like the one I did for Hyde a long time ago. I posted the links to each photo/collage in the reviews section, so you should definitely check it out! My favorite was Kelso/Ashton's because I only used one picture that wasn't him, the rest are all him :D. Let me know what you think of each :)


You are wrong, fucked, and overrated; I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault. This is the end of everything, you are the end of everything. I haven't slept since I woke up, and found my whole life was a lie. This is the end of everything, you are the end of everything. Shallow skin, I can paint with pain, I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain. Everyday it's the same - I love, you hate. But I guess I don't care any more... Fix my problems with the blade, while my eyes turn from blue to gray. God, the worst thing happened to me today; but I guess I don't care anymore... My flaws are the only thing left that's pure. Can't really live, can't really endure. Everything I see reminds me of her, God I wish I didn't care anymore. The more I touch, the less I feel, I'm lying to myself that it's not real. Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal? I'm never gonna care anymore. What the hell am I doing? Is there anyone left in my life? What the fuck was I thinking? Anybody want to tell me I'm fine? Where the hell am I going? Do I even need a reason to hide?
.

.

The shrill wail of the crying infant awakened Hyde. In a half-asleep state, he sluggishly pulled the dingy sheet and ratty blanket off of his body. Standing up from the mattress, he dragged his exhausted self over to the other side of the room. The large crib was less than five steps from his own bed. He peered into the bassinet with bleary eyes and watched the baby squirm as he cried.

"Chris, I already fed you," Hyde whined as he ran his hands through his tangled mess of curls in frustration. The baby's wails only grew louder, much to Hyde's annoyance. His mom had told him that sometimes babies just cried for no reason; which had to be Chris's case. He was fed, his diaper was clean, he had been burped before going to sleep. Hyde had absolutely no idea what he was going to do, and his mom was gone for the night.

Hyde sighed in frustration and picked up the weeping one month old. Chris was warm and pudgy- he seemed content. So why was he crying?

As Hyde cradled Chris he gently rocked his arms and hushed him. He hadn't even noticed the short amount of time it took for Chris to fall back asleep. All he paid attention to was the quiet; how Chris went from crying to whimpering, then cooing and finally snoring.

"It's okay, Chris," Hyde whispered as he gently tucked the month old baby back in his crib. "I'm right here, always."

The echoes of his brother's wails rang throughout Hyde's silent bedroom. The sixteen year old sat on his broken mattress, his vacant eyes focused on the spot where Chris's crib had been placed. His face was blank and showed no signs of emotion, and his sunglasses were placed carelessly on the trashed floor.

He had put off his reminiscent thoughts tonight; he had to focus on Donna (though that deemed useless.) But now as he sat alone in his dark room minus the street light glowing in from the window, he was wide awake way passed two in the morning, his mind diving to the past, to Chris.

In all honesty, Hyde hadn't thought poorly about the death. He hadn't blamed himself in quite some time and didn't dwell on the matter. Sure it hurt like hell whenever he thought about Chris. He missed his little brother and regretted his every decision that night. He always wondered the "what ifs." But over the past couple of years, his blaming had shifted from himself to Edna. He knew he did all that was in his power to save Chris, and though it didn't turn out right, it wasn't his fault.

If it weren't for Edna, Chris would be alive, and the two of them would be living with their grandparents. He would be happy and maybe he would actually try and give a damn about things. If it weren't for Edna, he might have actually had a future and a chance at making a name for himself. He could have been inspired and bright.

Edna. The fucking bitch hadn't been home all damn night even though the car was parked in its spot. She left her whiskey bottles all over the living room as well as her empty syringes speckled with blood. Her purse was hanging on the living room closet door handle. He had no clue how she left; maybe with another guy, or by walking, but she was gone.

At the thought of his mother, Hyde's fist subconsciously clenched in anger. He woke from his daze from the sharp digging of his jagged nails in the palm of his hand, and stared at his balled fist. The soft tick of his alarm clock grabbed his attention and his eyes peered at the numbers that showed; 3:15. He had been sitting there for over an hour, just sitting and staring in the complete silence.

Hyde sighed softly and unclenched his fingers as he stood up. His eyes stung with exhaustion as he started to drag his body to the dresser he made in shop class. He knelt down and pulled open the last drawer, and pushed back the band t-shirts. He stared at the box his grandpa had made him and sighed as he took off his necklace with the key and unlocked the wooden box.

As his hand began to lift the lid, a loud bang was heard outside of his room. He startled and his head shot up in alert. He quickly shoved the box back into his drawer and hit it underneath his clothes, then slammed the wooden drawer shut as he sprinted to his bedroom door. Hyde walked out of his room and held his breath in apprehension as to what he would be faced with.

"Ma?" Hyde asked, staring at the frail woman crumpled on the floor in front of the front door. Her shoulders shook with violent sobs as she cried and Hyde froze, unsure of what to do. He took a step back and sighed softly as he stared at his mom breaking down.

"Steven, I saw him," Edna cried as she looked up at him, her dull blue eyes blood shot and puffy. Hyde felt his stomach squirm at her words and her madness.

"Saw who?" Hyde asked, she shook her head then buried her face in her hands as she wept.

"Ma, what all did you take? How much crank did you do?" Hyde asked as he glanced over at the pile of syringes that she never threw away.

"Does it matter, I saw him, I saw him, Steven. I SAW HIM!"

"What were you doing?" Edna shook her head and rested her head on his shoulder. Hyde stiffened from the closeness and wanted so badly to run.

"Walking, I went to the mall to get you a present, and then I left, and walked." Hyde just stared at Edna in disbelief as she quivered beside him; she was saying what happened to him all those years ago.

"You're fucking crazy, ma, what the hell are you talking about?" Hyde spat as he glared at her. Edna shook her head and held him close to her.

"I'm a horrible person, Steven, I'm a horrible mother. You hate me, everyone hates me, I hate me."
"Mom..." Hyde trailed off, he couldn't lie; everything she said was true. She was horrible and everyone hated her, including herself. He wouldn't argue against that.

"Steven, can you take me?" Hyde raised his eyebrows in confusion and just stared at her. "I know you know where it is."

"What are you talking about?" Hyde asked, she gripped hard on his shoulders, her long nails dug into his shirt and scraped his skin.

"Take me to Chris, Steven, please?" She begged as she leaned against his left shoulder, her body trembled as she spoke. Hyde closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he could smell the alcohol from her breath and clothing, and her lack of hygiene. He stared down at his mom and shrugged his shoulders, he was at a loss for words.

"Why?" Hyde finally asked darkly as he backed away once more from Edna. She looked at him, then her arm that she was subconsciously scratching at. Her fingers and hands were blistered and red, her arms had little cuts and sores as well; he hadn't really noticed her deteriorating form before. She was gaunt, a skeleton, with stringy hair that looked nearly gray.

"I have to, Steven, I have to... please... you're a good boy, do as your mom says..." she pleaded, stepping forward, Hyde took a step back. He scowled and looked to the window; the rusting station wagon was in his sight.

"Come on," He growled, shoving his way passed her and to the front door, that he slammed in her face.

'I don't get it, I don't fucking get it, what is going on in her damn head? She's fucked up, I should take her in, I don't have to deal with this bull shit,' Hyde thought angrily as he furiously opened the car door. He started the car just as Edna stumbled out of the house, tears falling down her face. Hyde shook his head and shut the driver's door, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

He watched as her hand's shook violently while she tried to close her door and buckle her seat belt. He wasn't sure if she was cold or if it was an effect of the drugs, so he turned up the heat and pulled out of their driveway.

"Watch out!" Edna cried, he slammed on the brakes in response and turned around; he saw nothing. Glaring at Edna, he pulled the gear to drive and sped off.

"What was that about?" He asked, turning up the radio.

"You almost hit that lion," Hyde wrinkled his nose and furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at her incredulously.

"There was no lion, you crazy bitch!" He cried, resting his left hand on his knee.

Hyde drove throughout Point Place without saying a word to Edna who was still crying and mumbling to herself. He stayed focused on the road and tried to keep his burning eyes open as he drove. He felt awkward with Edna; she wasn't her usual high self, this was something else... different. Like she wasn't high. But that was absolutely out of the question; she said she saw a lion. Edna was losing it, she was crazy.

He glanced over at his mom and saw she was picking at a scratch on her arm. He knew she was into some weird self-mutilation stuff, he saw her burn herself and cut herself, and he didn't understand it. Why would someone want to hurt themselves? Hyde shook his head and turned back to the street, the five miles to the cemetery seemed so much shorter in a car.

"Why now?" Hyde finally asked, grabbing Edna's attention. She turned to look at him in confusion.
"What?"

"Why do you want to go now? Why not the year after or any other time? Why now?"

"Well how often did you go, Steven?" Hyde scowled and stared at the long entrance to the cemetery; the iron gates glowed from the February moonlight.

"I've gone too many times to count, ma," Hyde growled, parking the car and shutting off the ignition. Edna stared at him and reached out to grab his arm, he flinched from her momentary touch. He shook his head as he glowered at her, then opened his car door. He walked away from the car and up the long walkway to the entrance, not even caring if Edna was following along behind.

Hyde slipped his hand in between two of the bars and blindly felt for the latched lock. He finally found the end of the horizontal iron lock and pulled it up. In response, the metal door creaked open slowly.

Hesitantly, Hyde waited for Edna by the gates. He wasn't quite sure why he decided to come here in the first place, let alone bring her. Edna was insane; he had no clue what happened to her while she was gone tonight, and he didn't want to find out. Yet he wanted to know what driving to a cemetery at three in the morning make him look like?

By the time Edna neared the gate, Hyde had opened the door and entered the cemetery. His feet dragged over the untouched blanket of snow, his head was bowed low. Hyde shivered as a brutal gust of bitter wind billowed throughout the open air.

"Here," Hyde spoke gruffly a few moments later. He stared down at the small granite headstone and bit his chapped bottom lip.

He could feel the tension between him and Edna as she stood next to him. He didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to visit Chris. It didn't quite make sense to Hyde, in fact it angered him, but he stayed silent. He picked at the ratty cuff of his hooded sweat-shirt as he coughed awkwardly.

His bare eyes shifted to Edna, who appeared to be in a melancholy daze. Her once dull blue eyes were now watery as she gazed woefully at her youngest son's tombstone. Hyde sighed softly.

"I miss him, Steven, I miss him everyday," Edna mumbled, Hyde glanced over at her and gave a small nod.

"Yep..." He trailed off flatly. He wasn't sure what to say. Edna's sudden openness was freaking him out. He didn't want to be with her; he didn't want to see her break down and start crying. He didn't want to deal with this.

All of the things he had felt since Chris's death were screaming through his head, raging from what Edna had said. She hadn't seem to give a damn about Chris, she just wanted Hyde to be the one who died instead. He didn't ever see her cry or talk about Chris, unless it was in anger towards the "one who should have died."

"Mom," Hyde mumbled, she turned to him and wiped away tears that were cascading down her leathery face. "Why did you want to come here?"

"I thought it was time to, Steven." He scowled at her response and focused on the gray headstone blanketed with snow.

"Why now?" Hyde suddenly asked once again. He felt himself shrinking, as if he were that eight year old boy once more, staring up at her with sad eyes... asking why she did things? Why she was leaving? Why this? why that? why, why, why? "Why now instead of all those years ago? Why do you suddenly give a fuck? Why are you actually treating me like a human being? I don't get it, mom, I don't know what your deal is. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but I can't... I can't take it!" He heard his voice raise and his blood begin to boil.

'Calm down, just shut up, man!' His conscience seemed to yell at himself. But he was angry, no he was furious. And he couldn't just sit there quietly with her there acting like she gave a flying fuck about him and Chris.

Everything he felt and thought was pouring out of his lips. About him, about her, about Bud, and Chris, and life, and just about everything. In a boiling rage that he couldn't control. In a fury that left him shaking and feeling raw, beaten, vulnerable, but lighter. Hyde couldn't stop himself no matter how hard he tried. This was his boiling point, the final tick of the bomb, this was-

"I know, Steven."

He was caught off guard. At the final second before explosion, the bomb had been unwired, the boiling water spilled. His anger had flared at her words, yet also diminished. Her civil tone and calm demeanor shocked him, where was her screaming? Where was her anger?

"What?" He barked, glaring at her angrily. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat, her body language told him more than her voice could ever. She was tired of everything; him, this town, her job, but most of all, herself. But he was not going to feel sorry for her. A year ago, yes, but now it was far too late, he had no compassion or remorse for what he had said. Edna had put him through hell, and he would never forgive her for that. He knew that's what she was after, she wanted him to feel bad for what he said. But he wouldn't, not anymore.

"Steven, please... not now..." Edna whimpered, her bare hand resting on the granite tombstone. Hyde bit back his tongue and took a deep breath. He folded his arms across his stomach as he glared angrily at the ground; he didn't get it. He wanted answers, not the bull shit lies she always fed him, but the truth. What was her deal? In an a frustrated huff, Hyde kicked the snow, it scattered and slowly slid down the headstone, but that's not what caught Hyde's attention. His curious eyes fell upon a plastic baggie that he had uncovered. At first he thought it was his lucky day, yet as he continued to stare at the baggie, he didn't see any green herb, he just saw a yellow piece of paper. He picked up the baggie and stuffed it in his sweatshirt pocket, he wasn't going to leave it in the cemetery- he'd throw it away when he got home, or when he was driving back.

"Mom, can we go back now?" Hyde asked, his fingers had gone numb a long time ago. She had to be colder than him, and though he was beyond pissed at her, he didn't want her to get hypothermia.

'Unlike her,' Hyde thought to himself, darkening his grimace. "Mom, what the hell?" He hissed, turning to where she was standing... she wasn't there. "Mom?" He groaned in annoyance and craned his neck to search the large cemetery from where he stood. He couldn't see much considering it was dark, and he only saw footsteps leading to Chris's tombstone.

"Oh shit," Hyde murmured when he finally found her... he didn't know what it was with this cemetery; but there she was, passed out.

'Then again, she could be drunk. Or high... or both,' Hyde thought. And she hadn't been down for long, so it's not like she was going to get pneumonia or die or anything. He bent down and reached under her bent knees and her shoulder blades and lifted his mom with ease. Hyde knew that she was skeletor skinny, yet she felt like she didn't way anything, and it was disgusting.

He had been in this situation many times so he wasn't going to freak out or even wonder if she was okay. Whether it was a night at the bar or a night at the grocery store, usually he had to go and pick her up, literally, and take her home. He was getting sick of this nightly ritual, he was getting sick of having to take care of her and worrying about her. She was the parent, he was the kid, it was supposed to be the other way around! He never had anyone take care of him, so why should he take care of her now?
He was so tempted to just drop her at the entrance to the cemetery, yet his conscience wouldn't let his angry side do that; he knew better. Hesitantly, he kicked open the gate and carried her out across the hilly sidewalk effortlessly. He stepped on to the side of the road that he had parked on and walked over to the car. Like usual, he lifted his right foot and used the pointed tip of his boot to lift the handle of the car, and pulled back his bent leg to open it. He slid through the small space between the door and the car, then kicked back the metal door as he set her on the passenger seat. Slamming her door, he rolled across the hood of the station wagon and landed on his feet. He hopped in the car and turned the ignition, the engine roared to life without sputtering its complaints. Glancing over to Edna, Hyde shook his head and sped off down the road.

The car seemed colder than the outside air, his body wouldn't stop shaking from the cold and his teeth chattered uncontrollably. It didn't help that the heater was turned on full blast and was blowing out cold air. For the time being, Hyde turned the notch down to low until it was warm once more.

The voice in the back of Hyde's head made him turn to Edna as he approached a stop sign. He reached over to her and felt her neck with his index and middle fingertips; she had a normal heartbeat. Then he placed his hand by her nose to feel if she was breathing, normal. Her body felt cold, yet so was his, as soon as the heater was warmed up then they'd be fine. It had to be alcohol, or maybe she overdosed on meth or heroin or something. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her.

After fifteen of the longest minutes of Hyde's life, he pulled into their gravel driveway. As he slowly stood up out of the car, he decidd his last few tasks of the night. First, he was getting Edna out of the car, then throwing her on the couch or floor, and finally he'd pass out from exhaustion. He was drained from this messed up day and night.

Hyde hoisted Edna in his arms, this time she was carelessly slung over his shoulder. He walked across the snow to the front porch stairs that were on the verge of collapsing. With his free hand, he opened the door.

Hyde walked blindly through his trashed house and occasionally tripped on clothes or bottles. As he turned into the hallway, he felt around the open space for Edna's bedroom door.

Suddenly, he heard a scream that rattled his ear drums. He jumped in shock and turned to Edna. Hyde fell to the floor from a powerful kick to the back of his knees.

"Let me go, Bud, let me go!" She shrieked, paralyzing Hyde. Bud?

"Mom!" Hyde cried as she punched and clawed him while continuing to scream. "It's Steven, I'm not Bud!" Edna glanced up at him, her fist was held high in the air. Breathing heavily, she buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders began to shake as she quietly sobbed.

"You fuckin' tore my lip," Hyde grumbled, wincing as he touched his index finger over the cut on his lip. "Why did you call me Bud?" HYde asked. Edna jerked her head up, her eyes were wide with fear. Her mouth moved, yet she had no voice.

"N-no reason," she finally stuttered, standing up. "I'm going to bed, goodnight, Steven."

"But-" Hyde was interrupted by the slam of her door. He sat on the floor in awe as he tried to figure out what the hell just happened. She never talked about Bud, Hyde never even thought about him, the man was completely nonexistent in their present lives. Was there a chance that she met another guy named Bud?

"She was beyond toasted, she's just thinking things," Hyde told himself, then wiped the blood off of his lip.

Hyde dragged himself to his room, his head pounding from exhaustion. He flopped on his bed and sighed heavily. Hyde began to dig in his pockets for his lighter and cigarettes; he just wanted one before he fell asleep. When grabbing his lighter from his sweatshirt, he felt the plastic baggie in his pocket from the cemetery.

Hyde held the cigarette in place with his lips as he flicked the lighter and opened the bag. He pulled out the yelow notebook paper and unfolded. When seeing a long letter or something of the sort in cursive, his curiosity rose. Turning on the lamp beside his bed, he began to scan the piece of paper. As his eyes skimmed across each and every word, he felt his stomach churn and his head swim, he hadn't noticed his cigarette had fallen from his parted mouth.

"Fuck!" Hyde cried as the burning end of the cigarette scorched his arm. "Dammit," he growled, staring at the small burn on his forearm. He took a draw from it once more as he continued reading. His shock was evident in his wide eyes as he finished the letter. He expected some grocery list or maybe a note to a dealer to fill the baggie. Not that. He flipped over the paper, flipped it back around, and reread the page.

Dear Hyde,

When you find the baggie, don't be upset about it not being filled with your "circle stuff." It was so the paper wouldn't get all wet and then you wouldn't able to read this. Anyway, we all just wanted to let you know that we were thinking about you today, and even though you didn't say anything about Chris, we knew you were thinking it. It's got to be tough, but you're like, the strongest one of us all, Hyde, and you're doing a lot better than before.

You're probably shocked that Eric and I actually went to the cemetery. Well, it wasn't just us, either. Kelso, Fez, and Jackie went with too. Don't be angry that we didn't take you, you obviously went on your own if you're reading this. But we went because of last year, and we didn't want you to feel so alone (even Jackie). Fez talked about his cousin again, except this time he said crocodile... so I don't know if the story is real. Anyways, I just hope that you're not alone, and that we all care for you and love you, you're our brother (we've all got the scars to prove it!)

Stay strong Hyde, and remember that what happened wasn't your fault.

Love you always,

Donna

Eric

Fez

Kelso

Jackie

Hyde sighed softly and wore a small smile as reread the letter. He thought it was really cool of them to actually go to the cemetery, though they probably felt a little awkward. It wasn't the type of thing that they would do, but it did show him that they really did care about him. Hyde was extremely shocked that Jackie went, especially since she seemed to hate him. He just wondered when they had the time to go; today was Valentine's Day- Jackie and Kelso were on their date, Eric and Donna were and then he ruined it for them, and Fez was at The Hub looking for that plump girl. He had been with all of them but Donna and Jackie later that night, and when he left, each of them had already gone home.

He closed his eyes as he took the last drag from his cigarette, then smashed it in the small tin can he used as an ash tray. He pulled up his dingy blankets over his shoulders and rested his head on his arm. Silence echoed throughout his bedroom, there wasn't even wind rattling his window. His mind was clear of all thoughts as he quickly drifted off to a heavy sleep. There was no worried or angry thoughts directed to Edna, no sadness or grief brought on by the long ago loss of Chris, and no regret or humiliation permeating his brain and heart caused by Donna. He was sick and tired of feeling, he wanted the null and numbness that he tried to hide himself behind.

'It's gonna be okay,' Hyde heard his own voice echo in his head, 'it'll be okay...'


Author's Note: Not too happy with the ending, but that's my writer's block for ya :). Hope you enjoyed this chapter... and next up "Prom Night!" *is very excited*

Love,

Angie