Chapter 51
Gawain meandered through the granite hallways. His mind felt uncharacteristically burdened by the larger situation. Most times after a fast check of the armor and equipment, he'd examine a tankard or two of ale at the Rising Sun or whatever local tavern caught his eye. Perhaps it would've been best to do that.
…it was after all what had worked in the past….
…The problem was that everything was in flux. Nothing was as it had been…..
His mind kept fixating on his friends. He wondered how Merlin coped with his new responsibilities. He actually worried about Gwen and her challenges as Queen and widow. Hell what he'd heard about Meleagant as a military leader and warrior actually gave him pause. And that wasn't counting on the big decisions in front of him at the moment.
Bloody rubbish! He drifted into the courtyard. There he found Britomart lost in thought herself. His brow arched. His heart picked up a beat. Guess she's thinking of the same stuff. He coughed. "Big stuff, ain't it?"
"Hmm?" She almost jumped upon seeing him. "Sir Gawain? I would have thought you'd be Queen Guinevere and your fellow knights."
He shrugged. "Gwen and Leon are talking right now. Guess they'll say something soon." He considered the wrinkles etched into the seemingly delicate complexion. "You're worried too."
She rolled her eyes. "And it isn't making a dent in that thick head of yours? I'm worried about my King and Queen. I'm concerned about the crimson horde bearing down on our borders. Even before that, can we all work together?" She sniffed sarcastically. "We have such a bad hand that it's ridiculous."
He shrugged. "Of course I worry about that stuff. That's why I'm walking it off." He drew his sword and considered how Sol's light danced and sparkled across its metallic surface. "This lets me cut through all of that crap. If I get into all of that, I won't be able to move much less fight. Once the fight begins, I focus on the swordplay. The other stuff can wait. If I survive, I can deal with it. If I die, guess it wasn't that big of a deal. Now was it?"
She frowned. "And it's just that easy? You idiot! What about the people around you? They care about you for some reason. I wouldn't know why but they do!"
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Life's too short. I've got my duty. All right?
"True. There's more to this life than brawls be it in the tavern or against some thug in chain mail." She held up her own sword. "Yes I have one of these too. I can fight despite what certain male egos think." In her other hand, she held up a cloth wrap. "I can also heal. I can be a valuable servant, courtier and friend."
"If they'll put up with you," he scoffed half-seriously. Her words burrowed into his psyche. With Cupid's aid, they were hitting a little too close for comfort. "Might be why you're alone."
She glared at him; her eyes sparking jade fire into his. "I'm alone because, like you, I have duty to this kingdom! I care for Queen Mithian. I serve King Merlin now. Here's an announcement. I do have feelings! I am alone as you put it because a certain oaf doesn't see what's right in front of his face!"
"Then tell him already, Brit! Bloody hell! Don't rant at me about it! Do something and quit bellyachin'!" he groused.
"Do something, you say?" she queried; Impatience coloring her tone as she said it.
"Yeah! Go find him! Tell him! Then focus on this battle! What a load of bollocks!" he spat.
She exhaled sharply. "Fine!"
"Fine!" he retorted. Seeing her still looking at him, he pointed toward the door. "So get on it already!"
"Get on it, you say?" She arched an eyebrow at him. Then, before he could draw back, she pounced. Much as a snake would ambush its prey, she encircled his waist with her arms and pulled his face close to her own. Her mouth pressed down hard on his. Her lips bellowed Amor's message clearly through his own lips, shattering his concentration in the process.
His eyes went wide. Realization brought its club down on his head. Her message shook him to the core. His brain spun trying to deal with the message being drilled into it.
A woman actually cared. She really cared about him.
Bloody hell….
When they finally came up for air, she stepped back. "Yes, Sir Gawain, I love you for some reason. I don't why. The goddess would understand, I guess. But yes, I care about you. I know you care even if you won't admit it. Just don't be a fool in the fight to come." She sheathed her own sword and collected her things. "Just think on that on the ride north. For once, think of others."
"I am. I do. Okay?" He ground his teeth.
"Then why don't you say it? It's all right to say it!" she spat. She frowned. "Just…stay alive so we can speak more after the battle." She looked him in the eye again. "Promise me."
He nodded without hesitation. "You promise."
"I asked first," she pushed.
"I don't plan to die! All right?" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "Nobody plans on dying in battle. It happens! If I can come back, I will!"
She blinked trying to hold back the tears welling in her eyes. "Just make sure that you do. I mean it." She stalked off.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. For the first time in a long time, he genuinely felt worried for a woman. Brit, now you're being pigheaded! He headed toward the passage and the meeting with the knights.
The stakes for the battle kept rising it seemed….
