Hi yall, :) i am me enuf' said

i like swimming with vampiers :) so to speak

i am living in England but i come from america!!

For Hogwarts:

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

- So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like Dead

- I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

- Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret.

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flea collar

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort - I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- This icon is off trying to shut Percy in a pyramid.

- I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmasters office

- I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!

- Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda

- I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class - I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds when using my wand

- Sirius Black: Escaped askaban...Evaded death eaters...Outwitted the ministry...Killed by drapery.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma!

Careful, or you'll end up in my novel.

"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research."- Albert Einstein.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus.

Does the noise in my head bother you?

There are somethings in life that money can't buy, for everythng else, there's theft and murder.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass.

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. That and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

LOL NOW WE HAVE THE STORIES :)