Who are Batman & Pigeon? Emmett is Captain Doofus? What are the Cullen's irrational fears and why oh why does Jasper have a spoon in his pocket? (Kind of weird, read the summary in the a/n inside, it gets back to BxE normal note passing after a few chapters, promise.)

What happens when Emmett and Jasper sign the Cullen's up for wife swap. How will Esme deal with being with a new family? How will the Cullen's deal with a Human living in the house? Post Breaking Dawn Includes Nessie, Jacob, Edward Bella, normal pairings.

Six years after Breaking Dawn, the family heads back to school. This is the story of Nessie and Jacob, their blooming relationship, new friendships, and of course, vampire problems! standard couples, rated for safety. Enjoy!

Whenever the Cullens go to a new town, they let them know who their messing with. What happens when they run into some old High School classmates? ALL VAMPIRES! :

The admin made a mistake and stuck Bella in a coed dorm. What will happen when she meets her Star Wars loving, D&D playing, bookworm roommate Jasper? Now a multi chapter fic! AH/OOC/Rated M for graphic language and lemons.

She liked that – possessing something. It gave her this new sort of power. She felt confident. She placed her hands in his shaggy hair and attacked his mouth with her plump lips.- Nessie starts high school with Jake in her thoughts.

When Edward and Bella go to an assembly, Bella does something to turn Edward on, purposefully? Edward loses his temper in next chapter! 'Dark Edward returns' Rated M for Mature content*hint hint*!

Everything is set for Renesmee. She has love, immortality--and an attitude. If only her rebellion didn't have horrible consequences... Post-BD.

10 years post B.D., Jacob and Nessie are finally able to live somewhat normal lives, will she choose to spend her life with him, or will someone or something else get in her way? Rated M for violence, language & sexuality in later chapters,***ON HIATUS**

One year after Jacob imprinted on Renesmee and made her his soulmate. Jacob wants to take their relationship to a new level, but does Edward approve? Rated M for a reason ..

Renesmee is going to school for the first time, and it isn't what she expected. It's harder to fit in then she thought, and what happens when she has to pick between truth, lies, and two boys?

Edward and Bella explore the wonders of their physical relationship. Caution, Lemons! This story is now officially complete, so please enjoy!

What happens when Alice and Bella return from a shopping trip and they have the house all to themselves? OOC and LEMMMMOOOONNNS.

Edward is having a bad day. But, not as bad as Miss Bella Swan's. What will happen when he takes her out to dinner to help her feel better! ExB, LEMON, ONE-SHOT

Edward won't touch Bella the way she wants him to. What happens when he thinks she is tempting someone else...? BPOV. Lemons! Slightly OOC in later chapters! My first fic!

A little drabble about Edward and Bella having sex for the first time. A little bit more grown-up than Stephenie Meyer would imagine it, I think. And of course all the angst Edward and his angst. GRAPHIC, guys. Not for children's eyes.

Bella and Edward spend some private time over the phone. Rated M for adult content. oneshot.

Alice gets a vision about Bella that leaves Edward stunned. Will he get what he has secretly wanted. Or will he be too stubborn to do something for himself for once. But when Alice tells Bella of her vision, Bella becomes determined to make it happen.

A series of pranks, craziness, and much more. A date with Mike at the amusement park? Embarrassing pics posted all over the most popular hang out? Edward in just a towel and glued to a chair? Carlisle in a compromising position.Oh the possibilities!R&R!OO

Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY

Bella is commited to waiting until they are married before Edward fulfills his ends of the bargain,however Edward is making it as hard on her as he possibly can.When Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Renee, Jessica, and Angela intercede, it's a recipe for pure comedy

Part 1: Emmett decides that a game of Jenga to heal all of the problems in the CullenHale house. Part 2: Emmett chances upon a new game to unite the family. Humor.

Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T

Bella, Edward and Alice are in a VERY boring class... but, Bella knows how to pass the time. Let the note passing begin! Please R&R!

A bunch of little oneshots about life with the Cullens. Because I just cant resist the urge. All of them are meant to be hilarious. T to be safe. You'll see why.

Jasper goes through more than you'd think! He catches Edward and Bella in an... awkward moment...haha! originally a oneshot but I love Jazzy too much to keep it at that! REVIEW!