my name is ... well just go with yazzy i have lots of names(juicy booty(blame my friends),jazzy,jasmin,yasmin,pumkinstrudle,pumkin,angel,cupcake,babez,jazzy fizzle,... and much more just more embarssing

my age is an odd number and in the teens

i have dark brown hair and in the light you can see my natural red hilights

my eyes are also brown

im in highschool

i love to read , i had to take this test in school and they told me I had a collage reading level(not to brag but just to put it out there)

i can be completley random when I want to

I ive in taunton Mass but as soon as I make my money and am old enough im gonna travel with my best friends amanda,kathryn,angie,keith and zamary

My idea of a great day is listening to music and reading fanfic without being told to get of computer

Music is my life

I love to watch criminal minds,csi,law and order,hawii five:o,invader zim,courage the cowardly dog,batman the brave and the bold,6teen,victorious,total drama island,gorge lopez,

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse

.Now we know why some animals eat their own children

.Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you

.If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder…it would be an apocalypse!

This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person

.I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head

.A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind

.Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own

.Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure

.Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?

He always finds himself lost in thought; it's unfamiliar territory.

I bet you get bullied a lot

.I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.

I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass.

If you were twice as smart as you are now, you'd be absolutely stupid.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are

.Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

She's the first in her family born without tail.

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?You are not even beneath my contempt

.You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

You grow on people, but so does cancer.

You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.
You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids

very funny quotes from Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns:
“How’d you learn to do all this?” “I went and bought the complete DVD boxed set of ‘This Old Hood.’” - Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows
"For the last time, lady, I'm tellin' you. We don't have an elevator. This ain't the Waldorf Historica." - Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows
"These people are my clients. I run a business. Do you even have a license?" "Oh, no, I'm not driving nowhere. I don't need a license. I'm'a ride my bike." - Robin Robinson and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows
"That girl's breath smells like butt and feet. Smells like futt." - Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows
"She don't know me. I'll break her down like a fraction." - Cora in Meet Brown Meadows
"I'm a widower." "You died?" "No. My wife died. Just like half your brain." - Colonel and Mr. Brown in Meet Brown Meadows
"Brown's such a delightful chap. So loyal. I'm thinking of keeping him." - Daisy in Meet London and the Competition
"You can't say 'bomb' at the airport! That's like saying 'Obama' at a McCain rally!" - Colonel in Meet London and the Competition
"Cora, they done put me in here with the Cheerio killer! Hurry, it's conjugal visit night and I don't see no women in here!" - Mr. Brown in Meet London and the Competition
"I hope you're handy, 'cause you sure is ugly." - Colonel to the handyman candidate in Meet London and the Competition
"I did learn my lesson, and that's a very good lesson for all you young'ns out there. Don't drink and shop." - London in Meet London and the Competition
"That girl's so stupid, she'd sell her car for gas money." - Colonel in Meet London and the Competition
“Hurry up, Brown! I’m out of uniform!” “Oh, shut up, Colonel! You don’t need pants! You’re retired!” - Mr. Brown and the Colonel in Meet the Dependents and the Divas
“Children, they lie when you look at ‘em, and they’re too noisy. The Bible says, ‘Suffer little children if they come unto me.’ If they come unto me, they gonna suffer." “Mr. Brown! You know Jesus said, ‘Let the children come unto me.'” “That’s right! He said, let them come unto HIM! Not unto Brown!” - Mr. Brown and Cora in Meet the Dependents and the Divas
"Everybody here is so old. It’s like living in Jurassic Park." - Joaquin in Meet the Dependents and the Divas
“You’re about to witness the death of the world’s most untalented tabloid queen.” “And when I’m dead, I guess I’ll know how your career feels.” - Daisy and London in Meet the Dependents and the Divas
“That’s the fraternity boys next door, Mr. Brown.” “Fraternity? Is that when you’re trying to find out if you the baby mama?” - Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet Your Family
“Just think, if you had your own little son playing football. Wouldn’t that be cute?” “What if it’s a girl?” “Girls can play football, too.” “If they’re wearing dresses, I’ll watch.” - Sasha, Jesús and the Colonel in Meet Your Family
“Can someone fix the color?” “It was shot in black and white.” “Why does it always have to be about race with you?” - London and the Colonel in Meet Your Maker
“You were really pretty! What happened?” - London to Daisy in Meet Your Maker
“I’ve got egg whites, turkey bacon and grapefruit.” “Turkey bacon? Cora, I didn’t know pigs and turkeys be matin’.” - Cora and Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies
“Colonel, don’t you turn your back on the Lord! Who put shoes on your table? Who put food on your feet?” - Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies
“Stay in there! There ain’t nothin’ out here but death, taxes and turkey bacon!” - Mr. Brown to Tamika's baby in Meet the Babies
“I’m a pajama thug up in this piece!” - Mr. Brown in Meet the Babies
"I gotta call my mom in Mexico." "My phone don't speak Mexico!" - Jesús and Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline
"Did you check all your drawers for the ticket?" "My drawers?! You could get a paper cut on your privacy!" - Sasha and Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline
"What do you mean it's too late? It ain't midnight – it's 12!" - Mr. Brown in Meet the Dangerous and the Deadline
"You're here because I needed a triangle player. London's here because I needed some eye candy for the choir. Miss Daisy, you're here because somebody keeps telling you what time rehearsal starts." - Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful
"May I present to you the Young sisters." "Young? Only thing young on them are the pictures in their wallet of their grandkids. They look like a bowl of fruit!" - Deacon Cleveland and Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful
"Calling these ladies singers is like calling a Bentley a car." "Sounds like your Bentleys need a tune-up." - Deacon Cleveland and Mr. Brown in Meet the Faithless and the Faithful
"With these shoes come great responsibility." "They should come with a kickstand!" - London and Cora in Meet the Truth
"Where do you get your shirts? That's sharp." "I have 'em shipped in from Botswana. They use virgin sheep wool. Yes, they use them sheep that ain't never baaaah-cked it up on nobody." - Frat boy and Mr. Brown in Meet the Truth
"When I walk in a room and four ladies are laughing, something's wrong. Something's up." "Well, you should be used to it!" - Mr. Brown and Edna in Meet the Future
“Ew, there’s something wrong with this bread! It’s brown.” ”That’s because it’s wheat bread.” ”Nobody’s going to trade with me for this! I’m going to have to eat it!” - Joaquin and Sasha in Meet the Truth
“We’re from Gamma Epsilon Epsilon Kappa. We’re GEEKs!” ”Well, anybody can see that.” - Frat boys and Mr. Brown in Meet the Truth

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile - too many times...

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

GI was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
: "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article: 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.od is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you

Holdin Hands- Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times. Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

Cuddling- Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold. Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

Movies- Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

Loving each other- Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.

Laying below the stars- Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers. Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your crush...

Guys repost this if you agree.

Girls repost this if you think it's cute. (Check, mate!)

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)