Hello!

Since you're reading this, I'm assuming you want to know a bit more about me. I'm Ebony-Miracles, but call me whatever you want. Ebony, Em, I don't care. I am a female between the ages of 14 and 93. Take your best guess at my age if you wanna. I am just your average writer, writing for the sake of writing, and for feedback on how to improve. I really hate intolerance, but that's really my only pet peeve. I love reading, novels, manga, all that jazz. I don't watch much TV, but I do watch a few shows...that's about it...

Quotes!

" I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

'So here's to teenage romances and never knowing why they hurt like hell'

'If you leave, don’t look back.'

"She said, 'Lie to me'. He said, 'I love you.'

'Some Day You'll Cry For Me Like I Cried For You,
Some Day You'll Miss Me Like I Missed You,
Some Day You'll Need Me Like I Needed You,
Some Day You'll Love Me But I Won't Love You'

'Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving
someone if your heart still does.'

'The hardest part of dreaming
about someone you love is having to wake up.'

"If you judge a fish by its' ability to climb a tree, it will spend its' entire life believing it's stupid."

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?

Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants.

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.

If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered.

Funny Quotes

When life give you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons!

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tongiht: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a docter whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

There is a fine line between genious and insnity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

There is no great genious without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much

When life gives you lemons make grapejuice, lay back, and let the world wonder how you did it.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intellegent life, why the hell are you scared?!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered sueing your brain for non-support?

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privelage.

If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

What is this 'kindness' you speak of?

More Quotes!

"The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences"- Edward Cullen-Eclipse

"Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen-Twilight

"Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving."
-Edward Cullen-Twilight

"I've decided that as long as I was going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."
-Edward Cullen-Twilight

"And So the lion fell in love with the lamb."
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick masochistic lion."
-Edward Cullen, Bella Swan-Twilight

"I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator." -Bella-Twilight

“I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.” -Bella Swan-Twilight

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE

"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF

"Rowr!" -Fang-MaximumRide-SOF

"She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang-MR-SOF

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-MR-StWaOES

Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! Fang-MR-SOF

"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max-MAX

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX

"What's your name?" "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." -Angel answering Steve-MAX

"I'm only a kid! I can't get married!" "You could in New Hampshire." -Max and Angel-MAX (Interesting to me because I'm from New England. And yes, technically they could get married, but they need parental permission. Yeah...Fang: Dr. M? I'd like to marry Max. Dr. M: -pulls out chainsaw-)

"South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas." -Max-MAX

"Optimism is overrated, Max. Its better to face realitly head-on." -The Voice-SOF

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES

"Have you guys been playing in the toxic waste again? Been bitten by a radioactive spider? Struck by lightning? Drink a super-soldier serum?" -Fang-FW

"Your middle name is 'Charging Off.'" -Total-MAX

"Fang could turn men gay, but he wouldn't be gay with them. It's like a hit and run thing." -Ok, stole this from EdwardAddict. So sorry, but it was the funniest quote I've ever heard!! :-)

"I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat."
-Dumbledore-HP

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." -The Maurader's Map-HP-PoA

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.