Well hi you bunch of sick fucks! You’d think after three Fanfiction accounts I’d finally be able to settle down and act sane… well that’s not the case, as a friend at school asked me for my pen-name on Fanfiction. Net and my mind immedatley went: ‘Oh shit… she’s gonna find the porn…’

It’s one thing to read Johnlock smut but it’s another thing entirely to write it… The person reading has to sit there in the complete knowledge that some sick fucker has sat down and thought through elaborate detail about John Watson’s butthole… so this time it’s going to be a little different. I will be accepting story requests for lemon or fluff for Phan or Johnlock… that way it’s totally your fault what ends up on that screen.

They can be as weird/elaborate as you want them to, they can be self-insert, dirty, sweet, they can involve a fucking orgy with Hitler and Satan for all I care, just as long as they’re your ideas.

Coz it can be really hard to put down a funny idea into writing, and seeing as I’m much better at writing than at thinking up funny ideas, it might just work awesomely… so please do send any request you want to… I won’t even mention your name if you don’t want me to (;

Also, if you’re under the age of 12 then GO AND LIVE YOUR CHILDHOOD!!! If you’re over 13 then I’m not gonna patronize you; say what you will you know you’re damn mature enough to read porn without blushing or shying away in horror (that is if you have already been corrupted by the internet… if you haven’t I don’t want to be the metaphorical internet rapist who takes your innocence and virginity. If you haven’t been corrupted yet, get Tumblr.)

So yeah I love you all dearly and stuff and enjoy the ride!