Name-Marina

Obsessed with-TWILIGHT!

Olympian Parent-Athena Goddess of Wisdom Cool im Annabeths half-sis!

Fav books-TWILIGHT, Percy Jackson series, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, and Artemis Fowl.

Fav Authors-STEPHANIE MEYER, James Patterson, Rick Riordan, J.K. Rowling, Eion Colfer.

Fav Couples-(Twilight) Edward&Bella, Rosalie&Emmett, Alice&Jasper, Esme&Carlisle, and Nessie&Jacob.

(Percy Jackson) Annabeth&Percy and Thalia&Luke.

(Maximum Ride) Fang&Max and Nudge&Iggy.

(Harry Potter) Harry&Ginny, Hermione&Ron, and Draco&Maddie(my bff)

(Artemis Fowl) Holly&Artemis.

CHECK OUT MY BFF'S USER La tua Cantante101

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. (Yeah, It's called Edward Cullen)

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other

If you have ever tripped over air

I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt. and guess what's inside it.-captain jack sparrow

R.I.P.- Albus Dumblerore , Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, Dobby, Colin Creevey and Cedric Diggory

They will never be forgotten

RIP

Steve Irwin

We'll Miss You

You Are Truly a Great Aussie Legend

1962-2006

This is just all around my pro so yeah!

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

A kindergarten teacher told her class to draw a picture, then went around and asked everyone, one by one, what they were drawing. Without looking up, one little girl said, “I'm drawing a picture of God.” “But no one knows what God looks like,” her teacher reminded her. “They will in a minute.”

._.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s_s_s³ _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ .s_ s³ _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s³_.s_ .³ _ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s³_ ³ _ (sorry girls only)
_s_s³_ ³,
_s_³s_..
_³s._³s ,
_³._³s .s_ ..
_._³_ s³
_³s_³s³_ s³
_³s_s_ s
_s._s³_.s ³_
_s..s ³_
_s.ss _
_s³
_ssssssssssss
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Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

rly funny joke:

Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."

time for some random shit:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Edward Cullen made every girl want a bloodthirsty vampire instead of a knight in shining armor.
Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
RENTHEADS ROCK!

Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast

Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me you love me, i'll slow down

Girl: I love you!

Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.

Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)

Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i will slow down.

Girl: (puts helmet on her head)

Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a helmet. In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he gave her his helmet so she could live.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Copy and Pastes…

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.
If you throw a fit when someone says the Twilight characters aren't real, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consectutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile
If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile.
If you probably have a body in your closet, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.
If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.
If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!)
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you have a friend that scares you when they have sugar, do not copy this into your profile

Computer Related Random Things

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features. windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Random Questions

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Random Quotes

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters
"Man must wait long time with mouth open for roast duck to fly in." ancient Chinese proverb
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" –Unknown
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown
Dealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid
“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown
"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown
"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." –Unknown
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein
That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook
“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” – Unknown
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown
“He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown
“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown
"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright
"Americans worship money. I have been looking for god all my life and he is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in Technicolor
"Dance my little puppets, Dance!" – God
We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.
We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.
Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon
"There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it." -That-Guy-With-The-Glasses

Random Boys/Friends/People Things

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Woman: But would you stay there??
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
ur parents lied. ur not special. ur just stupid.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head
Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!
"A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series)
The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Emo kids have cool hair
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron."
"They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?"
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.

Random Randomness

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.
Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
"When all else fails blow shit up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
"You say tomato...I say fuck you."
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it
real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
The world is cruel... get used to it!
Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!
For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! :D)
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

yo-yos were invented as a weapon

-if you wish you could go to a vampire academy like rose and lissa and meet a guy like dimitri, put this on your profile

-if you cant wait for the fourth vampire academy book to come out, put this on your profile

-If you think those kids should just give the damn Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!

-if you cried like a baby through the last chapters of shadow kiss because you thought dimitri was dead, post this on your profile

-if you are so angry at the freaking strigoi for turning dimitri and taking him away from rose, post this

-if you wish twilight was real post this on your profile

-if you can't love any boy because of stephanie meyer post this on your profile thanks stephanie meyer

- if you love twilight (and all twilight characters ) post this on your profile

-if you miss mason and wish he would come and haunt YOU, post this on your profile

- if you are a proud love struck obsesser of Edward Cullen, Dimitri Belikov, and Jacob Black then copy this onto your profile

-if you hate the rain (all forms -thuderstorms- snow- ext-) post this on your profile

-92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh AT THEIR STUPID DUMB ASSES copy this into your profile.

-If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

-If you support the ‘Rose somehow SAVING and NOT KILLING Dimitri’ club, copy this into your profile.

-If you giggle like a fan girl when someone says sure, sure. Copy and paste this on your profile.

-if you absent mindedly say sure, sure and THEN giggle like a fangirl at the fact that YOU said it, put this on your profile

-If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

-If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, and people think you are sick copy this into your profile

-If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

-If your friends SWARE you have OCD and/or ADHD but you SWARE you dont, put this on your profile

-93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?", copy this onto your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

-If your friends think you have OCD because you talk about twilight too much put this on your profile

-If you are one of the girls who aren't completely obsessed with what you look like paste this on your profile

-If you think being beautiful on the inside is better than being gorgeous on the outside, put this on you profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you wish Jacob Black would just die-- OKAY, IMPRINT-- and leave Bella and Edward to love each other, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.

If you have a sibling who has the ability to beat your butt on a daily basis, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you've ever started laughing at something that is remotely funny and can't stop copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you think that turkey- bird thing from the cocoa puffs commercial should go into rehab copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two AM in the morning copy and paste this into your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, try walking around the brick wall.

You have more chance of dying by an asteroid collision than in a plane crash.

The dimensions of the Space Shuttle, one of humanities greatest achievements, were specified over 2500 years ago by a horse.

joke

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916

Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916

Alice Cullen: Quikier Than You Since 1901

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!"

A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

list of stuff

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "i'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.(my mother has to jut out her chin because she foged up the mirror)

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

This has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read:

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

something I came up with;

A girl walks up to a boy in a laughing group of cool kids and pulls him aside.

"Why do you hang out with them?" she asked.

"Because they're my friends," he said.

"Why do they make fun of each other?" she asked

"because there's no one else around to make fun of," he said.

"Why do you force your smile?" she asked.

"Because it's not funny," he said.

"Why do they insult everyone?" she asked.

"Because they like to see them cry," he said.

"Why do they like that?" She asked

"Because they decide who the soft people are," he said.

"Why do you hang out with them?" she asked again.

"Because I don’t want to be with the soft," he said

"Do they still insult you?" she asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Do you stand through it?" she asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Do you think the soft are nice?" she asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Be friends with them and have a trustful, loving, friendly relationship." She said and started to walk away.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Self realization."

-Rin Mizu

crazy Inuyasha stuff

If you could be anyone between the following who would you be?

1) a girl in a disturbingly-large-crowd-of-anime-fan-girls who just so happenes to fall into a well that transports you to ancient Japan

2) a guy with an overly large sword,with white hair, dog ears and, in pijamas made with deamon rat hair and put to sleep on a tree for fifty years with a purple glowing arrow

3) the dog-eared-red-pijama-guys girlfriend-to-be

4) the-pijama-dog-guy's girlfriend-to-be's love rival, who is also the-dog-pijama-guy's sort-of-ex-girlfriend because she's back from the dead because girlfriend-to-be just so happens to be the sort-of-ex-girlfriend's reincarnation, born fifty years after sort-of-ex-girlfriend's death may I add, and sort-of-ex-girlfriend stole some of her soal to make her new-made-of-clay-body work

5) the person who was pissed because they werent invited to come with disturbingly-large-crowd-of-anime-fan-girls back in time

6) the realy pissed boyfriend of one of the disturbingly-large-group-of-anime-fan-girls that was ditched on the date or whatever they were supposed to go on, to go back in time to some 350 year old pijamad guy who looks like, what, 17?

7) the person who started to read but then went 'screw this!' and dug a hole to live next to Patrick Star who lives under a rock under the sea

-Rin Mizu

my dad said he would be option number 7. he detests anime manga and vampire, while my mother is only in on vampires half of the way. you know what she said? she said Bella and Edward can't be crazy about each other forever! well I said their affection for each other will last for the rest of their beings!!

Things I learned from Anime;

FOR GUYS) The best way to get a girl to shut up without a fuss is to kiss them on the ips

FOR GIRLS) The best way to get a guy to shut up without a fuss is smash his head into a wall

FOR GUYS) The best way to get reng on a girl is to kiss them on the lips

FOR GIRLS) The best way to get revenge on a guy is smash their head into a wall and beat them with a chair

FOR GUYS) The girl you're looking for is most likely a childhood friend

FOR GILS) The guy you're looking for most likely hated you most of your life

FOR GUYS) The best way to have fun is to... w8 this one isnt to obvious

FOR GIRLS) The best way to have fun is to tie guys upside down and practise your kunai aim on them

-Rin Mizu

"the definition of love is Bella+Edward" Rin Mizu

I'm a very nice person(with the apologising to doors and stuff) I'm painfully polite so if I have offended anyone with this profile or story, I apologise to you... like wal-mart employees or owners for example...

Twilight

Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion

Emmett: Fall down again, Bella?
Bella: No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face

Bella: Edward?
Edward: Yes?
Bella: I'm betting on Alice.

'Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.'

White by Max

White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.
White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the colour of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the colour of angel's wings and Angel's wings.
White is the colour of brand-new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.
White is the colour of crisp sheets in shmancy hotels.
White is the colour of every last freaking, gol-danged thing you see for miles and miles if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness--Wonderbread, someone's underwear, teeth--you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang 3 post this in your profile

Copy this into your profile if you idolize Fang!

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

poems and songs

One bright morning...
in the middle of the night,
two dead boys came out to fight.
they stood back to back
and faced each other
drew their swords
and shot eachother.
the deaf policeman heard the noise
and came to kill
those two dead boys.
If u dont believe my story
its true ask the blind man he saw it too!

this is a song

Never laugh when a hearse goes by,
For you never know,
you may be the next to die.

They wrap you up in a bloody sheet,
bury you down,
six feet deep
do doot do doot do doot do doot
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
in your stomach and out your snout,
they eat the goo from between your toes,
they clean the buggers right out of your nose
do doot do doot do doot do doot

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I'm the one who can't accept myself.

Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add

a little girl holding the hand of her orphanage nanny looks up at the sky and asks "What are those little lights in the sky?"

two figures stand in front of a little girl's grave, crying over their dead daughter.

a sister sheilds her little brother from her father's drunken rage. her brother runs away on the day of her funeral.

a man getting on a buss walks under a black sky, the stars hidden by light pollution. he has only seen stars in movies and pictures.

a little boy holds his mother, trying to keep her warm and dry from the rain dripping into their cardboard box.

a girl stands on the street in front of her house in the snow because she told her parents that she was lesbian

a jewish man hides his face in public from fear of getting harmed

the neighbors hear screaming and crying in the apartment beside them, and had seen the woman with an empty bottle of alcohol walking towards the room, but they just pull their blankets tighter around them.

a girl sleeps on a park bench because she got pregnant and let her parents know

someone kicks mud in the face of a man asking for a spare bit of change. the man couldn't get a job because he was gay

an african american woman stops going to church because they don't accept her race

a mother cries as the police drag her sobbing daughter away. her wife comes outside and hugs her. the police had said she was an unfit mother because she was lesbian

Isn't that sad? No, I'm not lesbian or abused or poor, but I still feel bad for abuse and such... paste this into your profile if the messed up world we live in makes you sad...

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Someone asked me the other day if my glass was half empty or half full. I was going to say it's empty, but that's not completely true. My life isn't void and I have my happy moments; but they usually just seem to disappear, or get worse. So, my glass is cracked. Yes, cracked. It gets filled up with happiness and hope, but it always ends up escaping my grasp. It always ends up empting out. It will never be full because it's always leaking. And one day, it will get thrown away, because no one wants a broken glass.

I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness and smile instead of cry.

Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed. When Disney World was the best place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same. And every time you were sad or you had a bad day. You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter. When everyone always lives happily ever after.

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile. (Warning: I thought this was very sad)

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm sradishing to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I sradish to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

I almost cried when I read the 2 poems above! So post these on your pro if you cried (or wanted to) when you read them.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I love all of these cool things after this little paragraph so yeah.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

"I cause cancer. Tee hee." ~ Multiple 'People'

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?” ~ Anonymous

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” ~ Anonymous

"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” ~ Anonymous

"My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.” ~ Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.” ~ Anonymous

"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous

"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." ~ Anonymous

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous

"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." ~ Anonymous

"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous

"Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!" ~ Anonymous

"Virginity is like a balloon, one small prick and it's gone forever." ~ Anonymous

"Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" ~ Anonymous

"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." ~ Anonymous

"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." ~ Anonymous

"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." ~ Anonymous

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door..." ~ Anonymous

"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." ~ Anonymous

"Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way." ~ Anonymous

"It's not how you pick your nose; it's where you put the booger." ~ Anonymous

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ Anonymous

"An apple always keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." ~ Anonymous

"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?" ~ Anonymous

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil." ~ Anonymous

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought." ~ Anonymous

"Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer." ~ Anonymous

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" ~ Anonymous

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.”

'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)

"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.’We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone

"The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary." - Vidal Sassoon

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."

Hi, you know the drill.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901- heck, he's sexier than everyone since 1901

I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me."Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

"An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

Assassination is an extreme form of censorship

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.

Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"Guns don't kill people. I do."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

I'M YOUNG, so I must be Naive.

I'M PEURTO RICAN, so I must be a Dirty Thief.

I LIKE PIANO MUSIC, so I must be Gay

I LOVE RENT, so I must be a Lazy Drug Addict with Aids.

I'M PUNK, so I must Slash My Wrist on a Daily Basis.

I PLAY VIDEO GAMES, so I must Have No Life outside My Room.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dance around for no stinken reason to no music when youre alone.Crazy is when you find office chairs that spin you imeadiatelly sit down and spin yourself until the point of throwing up. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I'm the kinda girl

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of adead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

You shouldn't say "I love you." unless you mean it. But if you do mean it, you should say it often... people forget.

i'm not lying...i'm writing fiction with my mouth

Fear is the heart of love.

The TRUTH is that everyone's going to hurt you...you just have to decide who is worth the pain.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

I'm psycho but in a good way

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Ways You Can Tell You Are A Sad Sack

You get fired from your job at McDonalds.

You are so annoying that even your multiple personalities won't speak to you any more.

Your imaginary friends keep finding excuses not to come over.

Your mom still pick your clothes out for you.

You pick your nose and don't care who sees you.

You are over 30 and still living with your parents.

You look forward to going to a Catholic church for confession just so you can have someone to talk to.

You welcome calls from phone salesmen because no one else will talk to you.

You remind a teacher that she forgot to give homework.

TOP TEN Excuses -

If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7."I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.

1. " ... AMEN!"

I win! Even if you think that you win you don't because I do in my super awesome power!

See, I'm weird, which is normal for me but being normal for me is weird which I am normally meaning that technically I'm normal because that's weird for me and I am weird. Get it?

Yeah? Well... I don't have a comeback!

SAVE THE SQUIRRELS!

ASAP is fun to say. It's all ASAP real fast and that's just... VOOM! Fastness. But it's amusing. Like dental floss and fried chicken wings, you know? VOOM!

Oh, I'm a happy dagger yeah! I'm a happy dagger, yeah! Such a happy dagger yeah! Happy, happy, dagger, dagger, YEAH!

Daddy, when you win the lottery, can I have a pony

Guess what? I'm talking to you in my closet!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

FYI: you are NOT bringing sexy back.you don't determine who has more fun by the colour of their hair,orange is NOT the new pink, and no, my mom DIDN'T do that. so STFU

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goood

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Vampire's like Baseball?

Girl:Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile

things you should know about me;

once someone called me "hey girl!" and that really really pissed me of.

I have a six year old stalker called Phang Phang

I have compared myself with Stephanie Meyer's version of a werewolf. Not because I favor them over vampyres; I'm neutral. It's just that the symtomes are the same. Monster growth spurt. I'm currently, well, at least last time I checked, 5'9 which is abnormaly tall for a child in my age group. I've been confused to be a mother, or someone 4 years older than my current age. Every month the estimation of my age goes up. Strangely, I feel older than I should be, so I will keep my age to myself. I don't excactly have crazy strength... yet... but my sister shows some signs of that. I can only pick up three toddlers at a time which is pretty normal if I do say so myself.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.

2. The future is not set in stone.

3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.

4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.

5. True love knows no boundaries.

6. Some people are just danger magnets.

7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.

8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!

9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.

10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.

11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.

12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.

13. Family is about more than just blood.

14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.

15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.

16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.

17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.

18. There are exceptions to every rule.

19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.

20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.

21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.

22. Cold hands = Warm heart.

23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.

24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.

25. Romeo was an idiot.

26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.

27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.

28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.

29. Space heaters can be very annoying.

30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 5:00 in the morning just because you friggin' could, copy and paste this onto your profile

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you 'it won't hurt a bit,'and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

You!... Off my planet!!

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Did you know that when someone annoys you, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, But it only takes four muscles to extend your arm out and smack'em in the head.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination. - Mark Twain

Are you a bad side effect of my medication?

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of its releases:
-A billion seconds ago it was 1960.
-A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive
-A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
-A billion dollars only lasts 5 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.

Boldly going nowhere!

Careful or you'll end up in my novel.

Don't let your mind wander ... it's too small to be out on it's own.

Don't make me call out the flying monkeys! - Wizard Of Oz reference

Don't make me go all NINJA on you!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film or their card is full

Television commercials:

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God.
Here are some of the results: scroll down.

God is like..
BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like...
a FORD
He's got a better idea .

God is like...
COKE
He's the real thing.

(This is great)

God is like...
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like...
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like...
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like...
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like...
ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you'll like Him

God is like...
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there.

God is like...
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like...
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

God is like...
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like...
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?

God is like...
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after I found it?

Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

When your in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "damn that was fun!"

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying "You will die in seven days!"

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say "Its because your gay isn't it?"

I called your boyfriend "gay" and he hit me with his purse!

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes.

my favorite word is sarcasm.

I'm the kinda girl who gets fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the Ws.

I'm the kinda girl who does c.p.r on a goldfish because it was drowning

I'm the kinda girl who will try to climb a cactus

I'm the kinda girl who lets the hobos use her chapstick

I'm the kinda girl who spends hours trying to slam a revolving door (I once tried to do that, it was fun. People stared at me though)

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

"Everything is going to change now, isn't it?" yep, pretty much and they say there are no such things as stupid questions god Hermione can be an idiot

EMO=Extravagantly Made Oragami

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Totally awesome quotes

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Let's flip a coin: Heads, Eric and I will be together. Tails, we'll flip again.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

When life throws you lemons...OMG! You're pregnant!

Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible, but that, little children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. -Willy Wonka (I love that movie!)

"Never hire a colorblind electrician."

"If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it."

"Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

i've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt. and guess what's inside it.-captain jack sparrow

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"Join the new game that's sweeping the country! It's called "Bureaucracy." Everybody stands in a circle, and the first person to actually do anything loses."

"After all is said and done a hell of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"Happiness is your dentist telling you 'it won't hurt a bit,'and then he catches his hand in the drill."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future."

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100 mortality.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

As we say in Calculus, "Wanna be tangent to my curves?"

I never pirated it...it was donated. By the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow at night... and voila!

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.

I never know what I believe about something until I read what I've written on it.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

--Disclaimer: Guess what? The reason I'm on fanfiction is because I enjoy writing about someone else's work. Therefore only my plots and not my characters (usually) or universes are mine. Thank you, have a nice day. (And please no suing. It's not like I've got money anyway...)

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns. But those bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again...

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silent is golden but duck tape is silver -My BFF Amanda

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washer machines.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Smile... it confuses people.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

There's a ME in AWESOME but there's also a WE.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

One out of four people are insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

When life gives you lemons go out & buy vodka-TJ my brother!

"My mother is part albino" -Bella. page 16, Twilight

"Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?" Mike. Page 24, Twilight...as if a pencil could in any way hurt Edward

"Bella it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." -Edward Cullen. Page 18, Twilight

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." -Edward Cullen. Page 92, Twilight

"Try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything." -Edward Cullen. Page 101, Twilight

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather- have some respect." Bella. Page 254, Twilight

And of course, the famous quote... "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." -Edward Cullen. Page 274, Twilight

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." -Edward Cullen. Page 294, Twilight

"I may not be human, but I am a man." -Edward Cullen. Page 311, Twilight

"Watch me hunt." -Bella. Page 315, Twilight

"If I develop this film will you show up in the picture?" -Bella. Page 25, NM

"I didn't realize you were capable of being reasonable." -Edward Cullen. Page 48, Twilight

"You're like a little doll. A little porcelain doll." -Jacob Black. Page 179, NM

"I promise that you can always count on me - wow, that does sound corny." -Jacob Black. Page 218, NM...lol i thought it was funny he was stating something like that, then saying it was corny.

"When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?" -Bella. Page 279

"Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?" -Jacob Black. Page 321

"I bet she's tougher than that. She runs with vampires." - Embry Call. pg 329 NM

"Bye, Bella," he called back over his shoulder. "I really hope you don't die." -Jacob Black. 379-80 NM

"Greetings, gentlemen, I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much however, if you would send my thanks to your masters." - Edward Cullen 453

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose." -Emmett Cullen. Page 490

"And I'm a Virgo!"-Bella

I am nuetral I am Switzerland!-Bella

"Does my being half naked bother you?"-Jacob Black. Eclipse, page 216

"Fall down again, Bella?"-Emmett, of course

No Emmett I punched a werewolf in the face-Bella

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"-Unknown

Aw... I wanted to explode... - Gir

-tears- Aw...I miss my cupcake...-Gir

"WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?!" "I made it MYSELF." - Zim and Gir

Here, have a dog!- Maximum Ride

You. Are. A. Fridge. With. Wings. We. Are. Freaking. Ballet. Dancers!- Fang

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" - The Gasman

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Guys aren't worth your tears.

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goood

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.

"Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong..but you know what I mean." -Paul, Shes the Man

"I write songs too, olivia." "Really, malcom? thats wonderful." "check this out-(singing) I see you through your window... while im standing on a tree outside!"-Malcom and Olivia, Shes the Man

"So, are you going to be my valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it's the least you can do." "What exactly does that entail?" "The usual-slave for life, that kind of thing." -Jacob and Bella, New Moon

What was with these Quileute boys? Were they feeding them experimental growth hormones? -Bella (thinking), New Moon

"I'm trying to keep my promise!" "When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree?" -Jacob and Bella, New Moon

If Seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him. -Bella (thinking), Eclipse

Emmett watched curiously as Edward helped me carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand I cradled against my chest. Emmett grinned. "Fall down again, Bella?" I glared at him fiercely. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face." Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter. -Eclipse

"You kissed me back." "I did not." "I think I can tell the difference." "Obviously you can't- that was not kissing back, that was trying to get you the hell off of me, you idiot." -Jacob and Bella, Eclipse

"I'm really sorry about your hand. Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" -Jacob Black, Eclipse

Milk tastes good! I'm just random but hey people are random! If you are random and proud, copy and paste this into your profile. (my friends' saying is 'being random every day keeps the cancer away.')

My best friend is insane! if you agree, or you have an insane friend, c&p!

If you've ever had a constant enemy, c&p!

If you've had dreams featuring Twilight characters, c&p!

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane used her power on Edward, C&P!

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth

A REAL boyfriend!

If i dont call you
Its because i'm waiting for you to call me

When i walk away from you mad
Follow me

When i stare at your mouth
Kiss me

When i push you or hit you
Grab me and dont let go

When i start cussing at you
Kiss me and tell me you love me

When im quiet
Ask me whats wrong

When i ignore you
Give me your attention

When i pull away
Pull me back

When you see me at my worst
Tell me i'm beautiful

When you see me start crying
Hold me and tell me everything will be alright

When you see me walking
Sneak up and hug my waist from behind

When i'm scared
Protect me

When i lay my head on your shoulder
Tilt my head up and kiss me

When i grab at your hands
Hold mine and play with my fingers

When i tease you
Tease me back and make me laugh

When i dont answer for a long time
reassure me that everything is okay

When i look at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When i say that i like you
I really do more than you could understand

When i bump into you
bump into me back and make me laugh

When i tell you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When i look at you in your eyes
dont look away until i do

When i miss you
i'm hurting inside

When you break my heart
the pain never really goes away

When i say its over
i still want you to be mine

I don't care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now... I dont care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson...just read this, it will make a difference...

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend."

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

Music is my boyfriend.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come.Mine?Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me, and Hell was afraid I'd take over.

"God, that whole thought process was cheese. Not even real cheese, the fake cheese product that comes in a spray can. " - Fang, Solid Ground by Jess Readin

"Clear as pea soup!" - Max, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

'Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible."

Bully for me. "At least by power," I said. "You haven't tried Snickers bars or cute shoes."' - Jeb Batchelder and Maximum Ride, Maximum Ride: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports

"Osmosis... wasn't that that guy that led the Israelites down the yellow brick road?" -Iggy, from 'No Words Are Needed' by turquoise.seas

-If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', then what is the opposite of 'progress'?

JACK (THE MONKEY): (screeches) Oh my gosh, a talking dog!

TOTAL: (simultaneously) Oh my gosh, a talking monkey!

ANGEL: (steps forward) This dog can’t talk.

JACK THE MONKEY: (emotionless, eyes slightly fogged) This dog can’t talk.

ANGEL: You are a good talking monkey.

JACK THE MONKEY: (smiles stupidly) I am a good talking monkey.

ANGEL: You want to go away.

JACK THE MONKEY: I want to go away.

Unable to resist, Obi-Wan steps in and says (using Force, with wave of hand):

OBI-WAN: You want to go home and rethink your life.

JACK THE MONKEY: I want to go home and rethink my life.

Jack the Monkey turns and leaves from where he came from.

Jack (the Human) ponders for a moment, and then suddenly jumps up and “sashays” toward Porter.

JACK: (waves hand around, trying to do what Obi-Wan did) You want to go find me rum!

- The Talkshow of Insanity, featuring (in this tidbit) Total (the talking dog) and Angel (the flying bird-kid) from Maximum Ride, Jack (the monkey) and Jack (the human) from Pirates of the Carribean, Obi-Wan (the Jedi Knight) from Star Wars, and Porter (that one person) who I do not know. Written by: MidnyghtVampyrezz

"I was never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on. We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yoodle le he hoo" Franz Liebkind (Producers)

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE TAKEN IN BY THE BBC! Filthy British lies!" Franz Liebkind (Producers)

"Must you play that infernal racket?"
“Sorry, but yes we must. Or else, our devil worship won’t work properly.” - From shadow-down 's little message tag thingy on deviantART

Happy Bunny sayings

1. does it hurt being so dumb?

2. nobody's perfect. I'm as close as it gets.

3. It's not your falt. I'm blaming you anyway. :)

4. you're dumb. I like that.

5. this has been fun but i have to barf now.

6. It's sad your own mom dresses you like that.

7. I have a dream. and in it something eats you.

8. Kids are the future. frightened? (mwahahahahah we will rule the world!)

9. I hear the other icky people calling you.

10. life. get one

11. It's not my fault you're icky.

12. me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

13. let's be friends. I'd like a dumb friend.

14. but I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice.

15. I'm happy don't wreck it by talking.

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)’ from the profile of Nocturna Princess

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

'I disagree with all he says but I'll defend to death his right to say it.' by Voltaire

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams

"I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that do not work" -- Thomas Edison

Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum - Srew you and the horse you rode in on. - Anonymous

'Smile in the face of adversity - and adversity will probably think you’re taking the piss and beat the crap out of you.' from the profile of 'Talkin’ of Normality '

'There are very few problems that can’t be resolved with an order ending with ‘or I’ll shoot’.'from the profile of 'Talkin’ of Normality

'History is the sum total of things that might have been avoided.' from the profile of 'Alaranth-88'

"If you love someone set them free. If they come home, set them on fire" -George Carlin

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."-Mark Twain

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."- Robert Heinlein

"Everything in this room, everything you see is eatable. Even I myself am eatable--except that is called cannabalism, children, and it is frowned upon in most societies."
- Johnny Depp (as Willy Wonka), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

You know your obsessed when... (you act like me! Emmett dances in the lunchroom!)

You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!

You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.

You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.

You've read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse at least 5 times each!

You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.

You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.

When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.

Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.

You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.

You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.

You have nothing to do, so you go to www.stepheniemeyer.com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.

You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.

You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.

You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.

You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. (Yeah, It's called Edward Cullen)

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile, and add something to the list that proves you're obsessed. Lets see, dad told me I could read as much as I wanted Fri. but nothing Sat. so I satyed up til 3 reading Twilight then became obsessed with it after telling my friend that vampires were stupid and the books scared me. ANA YOU WERE RIGHT SORRY THANKS FOR CAUSING INSANITY! I am bookmarking all my favorite quotes and currently, before the quote from the back of the book, I have at least 8 times the number of stickies in Twilight than New Moon bc New Moon was awful. I listen to songs looking for twilightness and I am convinced that Taylor Swift loves Twilight! So Stay Beautiful. Emmett sings and dances in the lunch room, he throws Alice into the ocean, purposely tries to freak me and my friends out, Edward and Bella are in their meadow in my head, Jake is singing I'm Too Sexy even though he isn't, there was a Volvo in the parking lot and I went insane, you know what? Someone else can add something now, just read Dorks, I mean come on, outting fictional characters into your "life"...

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination

If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get super upset and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on air, and were so happy because you thought Edward Cullen might come and save you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony (or Bella, but that's another story), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a long list of fictional book/ movie characters that you are in love with, but Edward Cullen is clearly at the top of, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile..

If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever bust out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile. (I cried really hard and for like the entire book... until he came back)

If you've ever fallen asleep at around 2 am reading Twilight , New Moon, and/or Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy and paste this int your profile.

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped/punched a relative because they took your last piece of gum, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. (Haha, I hear Edward talking in my head ALLL the time...he talks too much lol)

I'm the kind of person who walks into a door or wall, and then apologizes to it.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list:

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (Lucky is just a normal leprechaun who wants his frickin' cereal!)

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that you now have a built in Volvo radar, copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you think Stephanie Meyer is one of the best writers in existance, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the Twilight series will rule the universe, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Bella and Edward were meant to be together, copy this into your profile!

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile.

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you belive your own Edward Cullen is out there somewhere, add this.

Edward Cullen: Hotter, Spicier, and Sexier than you since 1901

I have read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse more than 8 times...wow I love those flaming books... and I'm Team Edward 100 percent!

You're laughing at me now because your older than me by mere months... but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? ;-)

Boys are like slinkeys... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs(except Edward Cullen of course!!)

Come over to the good side, we have Edward Cullen and chocolate!

Huh... It figures, all the good guys are taken, vampires, or both(and I'm looking at you Edward!)

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

If you've ever fallen down the stairs/tripped and laughed because it was something Bella would do, then you cried cause' Edward wasn't there to catch you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with any or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because you don't want to heal quite frankly, post this. (I admit it, I'm overly obsessed, but I don't care!;-) )

If whenever you see or hear the name 'Edward' you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much and then people stare at you and tell you to shut up and let it go, post this.

If you have Twilight/New Moon/ Eclipse memorized, post this.If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D

If you have had a ‘Blonde Moment’ copy this into your profile. (I have and I'm not even a blonde!)

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the libary, and listning to them over and over again. Crazy is when you dont say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but insted yell random things that make you lafe. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon, even though it's a very serious matter, and your sister hears you and asks why you're laughing so loud and you tell her and she just cries about it because she thinks it's sad. Crazy is when you headbang to a slow song, or become odsessed with the song "Let it Die" by Three Days Grace because it reminds you of Edward Cullen for some odd reason. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy and letting them marry for the winter. Crazy is when you are taking a math test and go over on ur scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is having a major arguement with your friend...and i mean major...its still going on and it has already been a year...about which one is better: pudding or jello. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is completly obsessing over Twilight and reading the books over and over again until something in your brain snaps and starting with every little thing reminding you of Twilight and slowly spreading to EVERYTHING. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself post this in your profile.

If you completely got over your Harry Potter obseession when you read Twilight, copy and paste this on your program

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile. (I didn't exactly cry...I screamed NO EDWARD! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.—Not only my feet, but I’ve tripped over nothing too. (Why must I be as clumsy as Bella?)

If you get way too excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.( only sometimes. SHUT UP!)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the government should make levees, not war, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile!

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever been hit in the face with a broomstick (on accident, of course!), copy and paste this into your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you truely bel ieve, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Werewolves have enemies?...Only one.

She's all about the extreme sports these days

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward," ... and it was good.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Guys should be like Edward-rich,strong,and hot

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

It will be as if I never existed

Vampires like Baseball?

I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.

Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.

Twilight: Because a small part inside of us broke when we realized our boy-friends weren't mythical monsters

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

You are utterly indecent! No one should look so tempting. It's not fair.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

If you read the Twilight series, and afterward wanted to do a large number of bad things to Jacob, copy and paste this onto your profile ;)

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile. :P

If you've reread Twilight over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. XD

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!) XP

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. :)

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile :D

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. (as long as I'm not stuck in the middle of it without an umbrella)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you think Emmett Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires- if you have either of these copy and paste into ur pro

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Emmett , from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball.

Copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, edwardxnora, Rowangirl96, edwardcullenissosexy

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you wanna see something cool click alt+F4

If you fell for that I laugh at chu.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe that you have way to many copy and paste articles on your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Some people don't like random people. If you feel like hitting those people in the head and telling them their wrong, paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile ( in a good way everybody ((namely peewee)))

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile. (i wish ana put this on urs please)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (twilight caused it...)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.-

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

I have read New Moon and Eclipse and when i did i wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY hard! (then i said screw that, I might as well just kill him, and then he says I can kill vampires you know, I'll just say... Bet you wish you were a vampire now...)

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days" (kind of goes with the "its bc ur gay" thing)

We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.

We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.

Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!

It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown

"You cry I cry,You laugh I laugh,You jump off a cliff I laugh harder"

"When all else fails blow shit up."

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

"I believe die bitch conveys my feelings properly"

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

"You say tomato...I say fuck you."In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-UnknownDealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . TomorrowAfter twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button." --Sam Levenson

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" --Unknown

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." --Unknown

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” - Unknown

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” - Unknown

“He who laughs last didn't get it.” - Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” - Unknown

"Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!"-Calvin and Hobbes

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again

"Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"-Anonymous

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." -- Norm Papernick

'Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less-advanced life-forms, and they'll call you crazy'. -- Messiah's Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." -- Lily Tomlin

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."
- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

' Why be disagreeable, when with a little effort you can be impossible?'--Douglas Woodruff

'Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To Shop:

1. Get boxes of condoms and put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and announce in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

4. Put some M&M's on lay-away.

5. Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

6. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

7. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'

8. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' from the profile of 'Devonny Rose'

"Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them nearly as much."Oscar Wilde

"I have opinions of my own- strong opinions- but I don't always agree with them." -George Bush (doesn't it just make you all warm and fuzzy knowing this man runs our country)

"Life is Pain, anyone who says different is selling something." ~The Dread Pirate Roberts from 'The Princess Bride'

'War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.'- ananomous

"Let us all be thankful that nuclear war was avoided or we all would have been cremated equal." from the profile of 'Neo-Kitty'

'All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken:

The crownless again shall be king.' Bilbo on Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. (Book)

"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and then let the world wonder how you did it" from the profile of 'Pirotess'

"Friends are those who bail you out of jail. BEST friends are those that are sitting next to you saying, 'Damn! That was fun!'"' from the profile of 'Sea Chelle

"As I lay in bed last night, looking up at the stars and the moon, I thought to myself, 'Where the hell is my ceiling?'" from the profile of ' Silver pup

"He's a couple all by himself!" from the profile of ' Silver pup

"Warning: Trespassers will be shot

Survivors will be shot again." from the profile of ' Silver pup

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his." from the profile of ' Silver pup

"Lately, I've been thinkin' about whos in charge

'bout Who they Are

And are they looking down and laughing hard" From a song by Bare Naked Ladies

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister

98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that annoyingTrix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever ran into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile

If you have ran striaght into a window that you thought was an open door copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into you profile and add your name: Ga Nat Nat, Evil Older Sister

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

~Copy/Paste & Misc.~

Top 10 Reasons to Read
1. Learn how to pickpocket someone
(Alex Rider: Eagle Strike by Anthony Horowitz)
2. Learn how to tell if someone is lying
(Comes a Horseman, by )
3. Learn how to forge a signature
(Trixie Belden: The Gatehouse Mystery, by Julie Campbell)
4. Learn how to take care of: an annoying talking dog; a six-year-old that can read/control peoples’ minds, breathe under water, and talk to fish; a boy with digestive problems that can imitate any sound; an eleven-year-old that talks non-stop; a fourteen year-old boy that is blind, a total pyro, and builds bombs; and a guy only three months younger than you that is totally phlegmatic and very hot. All of which have wings
(Maximum Ride, by James Patterson)
5. Learn how to stop a couple of purse thieves on a motorcycle with a bucket and a bunch of birdseed, and even more pigeons
(Alex Rider: Scorpia by Anthony Horowitz)
6. Learn how to kill a vampire
(Dracula by Bram Stoker)
7. Learn a different language that doesn’t really exist
(Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien)
8. Learn how to make your alter-self
(The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson)
9. Learn how to escape from a burning building by tightrope walking
(Alex Rider: Ark Angel by Anthony Horowitz)
10. Learn how to fight off a band of bloodthirsty pirates
(Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson)
If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

Fang 98 percent human, 2 percent bird, 100 percent hott! If you believe that Fang is hott, copy and paste this into your profile

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

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If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

(If you think Edward Cullen is hotter...copy and paste this on your profile. ~Jay

If you think Jay is a fuddy-duddy for saying Edward was hotter than Fang...copy and paste this to your profile. ~SeA~

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you want to drink blood out of random animals because the Cullen's do copy and paste this on you profile

If you really Love Edward Cullen but still like Jacob Black copy and paste this on your profile

If as soon as you woke up after reading the part of new moon when Edward leaves Bella you checked to see if it was just a nightmare copy and paste this on your profile

If you aren't labeled and don't want to be copy and paste this on your profile. (Good for you if you choose this)

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your head off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Hee hee, Twilight...)

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the stink'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile. (Not necessarily believe…but a girl can dream, right? Right? Right?! RIGHT?! That’s what I thought. ;P )

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. (I die of happiness with just one!)

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, MidnyghtVampyrezz

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it ridiculously longer.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you ever wish you could give Erik a nice, big hug to make him feel better, copy and paste this onto your profile (or “The Phantom” or “the Opera Ghost” from “The Phantom of the Opera” for those of you who have not read the book which is written by Gaston Leroux. If you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, then just ignore this one.)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliché, MidnyghtVampyezz

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

Absentminded (figuratively)—when you check a fanfic to see if it has been updated…and then remember that you’re the writing it.
Absentminded (literally)—when you think you just dropped your brain, and then go out for ice cream. (Hey—no brain freezes!) If you are figuratively absentminded, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you’re literally absentminded…copy and paste this anyways.

If you have tried to add yourself to your Favorite Authors page, or put one of your stories on your Favorite Stories page, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 40 for me

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read
them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when
you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2cd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43). You noticed there is no number 25

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it?

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!

Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup?

Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

If something goes without saying, why do people say it?

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

Everything here is edible. I am edible, but, that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

"It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

I ran with scissors and lived! ( i seriously think that one should be put on a t-shirt)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder

I only have PMS on days that end with a Y

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over!

Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.

It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a li

fe.

THREE things to ponder:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

Cows
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government
can
track a single cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the
state of
Washington?
And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. However, they are
unable to
locate 11 million illegal aliens
who are wandering around our country... Maybe we should give each
of
them a cow.

The Constitution

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't
we
just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys, and it has worked for
over
200 years, ...
and we're not using it anymore.

The Ten Commandments

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a
courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery',
and 'Thou Shall Not Lie'
in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a
hostile work environment .

Some of my Favorite Twilight Quotes (tell me what yours are!):

But I knew myself to well to think I would really have the guts to do it. I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator. - Bella, Twilight, page 30, this made me laugh- a lot.

"You are a terrible actress - I'd say that career path is out for you." "Darn it." - Edward and Bella, Twilight, page 305 & 306 (not a fave quote really but fits with the next one that is)

"Breakfast time," he said eventually, casually - to prove, I'm sure, that he remembered all my human frailties.
So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.
"Kidding!" I snickered. "And you said I couldn't act!" He frowned in disgust. "That wasn't funny." "It was very funny, and you know it." - Edward and Bella, Twilight, page314 & 315

"Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it." - Edward, Twilight, page 476

"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do," I griped. I'd spent the better part of the day in Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician." - Bella, Twilight, page 483 (I don't know why exactly but this had me laughing for a good 5 minutes, causing me to receive many strange looks from family members)

Annndd some random quotes:

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..." (love it! My friends HAVE to do this for me!)

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. (Me too!)

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. (I like that analogy,is that the word? its dead on!)

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. (hahahahahahaha, love it!)

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. (I totally agree!)

People who say anything is possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door (too true:)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject (I can't wait to get an opportunity to say this to some one, preferably a friend who will laugh with me)

Life was so simple when boys had cooties (Once again I totally agree!)

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling! (hahahahahahaha to funny, well... not really... but I like it:)

I will eventually have a profile that is half-respectable, just can't find the time between twilight fanfics and actual school work :D And who knows, I might even write a fanfic.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

me hahahahahahahaha write ahhahahaahhahaha a ahahhahaaha fanfic!! hahahahahahahhaha

wow. that. is. funny.

Well, I MIGHT try...
But mine wouldn't compete AT ALL with most of the ones out there.
I might give it a shot this summer if i can't find a job. But... I probably won't, as in I probably will find a job.

What I really want to do is be a beta. I LOVE reading peoples work and won't be mean but will offer suggestions and such. Don't you hate people who read your rough draft and are like: "WOW! This is great! Don't change a thing!"
We give you are rough drafts to EDIT people, they are too be CRITICIZED, FIXED, CORRECTED, CHANGED!! Anyways. I promise to NEVER say something like that. If it is perfect in every way (which by they way I don't think is possible, rough drafts are called rough for reason) I will at the very least give you some small suggestions for next chapters or characters.

Something random!

La La La Hee Hee I am so weird!

I like to spam. I don't ruin your computer with MY spam though. So here is two of my FAVORITE spam songs someone created.

You can't stop the spammer,
As she post on the spam-bo-oard!
And you can try to stop her mind, but girl,
YOu know you never will!
And you can try to stop her spinning fingers, but she just cannot stand still!

Cause spammers keep spamming, 'round the world!
And my ff.net's keeping time
to the speed of posts!
I was lost 'till I saw a pen,
and I wrote my wa-ay!

'Cause you can't stop the spammer!

Ever since this old world began a spammer found out,
if she typed it she could type up number 1, on SPAM!
And so I'm gonna shake and spam it,
the best that I can, TODAY!

'Cause you can't stop the motion of the spammer,
or her habbits when the sun's in the sky!
You can wonder if you wanna, spam,
it's obvious, don't ask why!

And if you try to hold me down,
I'm gonna spit in your eye, and say,
THAT YOU CAN'T STOP THE SPAM!

You can't stop a spammer
As she rushes to the board!
You can try and stop the hands of spammers,
But ya know it just can't be !
And if they try to stop us, spamming,
I'll call the end of a lacey PEA!

'Cause the spammers keeps spamming
'Round the world!
And ff.net's keepin' time to the speed of posts!
I was lost till I found a pen,
and I wrote my way!

'Cause you can't stop the spammer!

Ever since we first saw the light
A man and woman liked to spam it
On a saturday night
And so I'm gonna shake and spame it
With all my might today!
'Cause you cant stop
The motion of the spammer,
Or the post up above!
They can try to stop the spaming life,
We're dreaming of!
But they cannot stop the rhythm,
Of two spammers with no one to say!
"GET OFF THE COMPUTER!"

That's all I bothered doing.

NEXT SONG-

Hey there Spammah,
What's it like in Tainted's Forum?
I'm a spammin a thousan miles a day,
But spam, tonight you look so pretty.
Yes you do.
Rule-followers can't shine as bright as you,
I swear it's true.

Hey there Spammah
Don't you worry about the damage,
Your computer will get fixed,
So spam, and spam, and spam, and spam,
Close your eyes.
Spam all night, it's a monster's disguise
Spam's by your side.

Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
What you make me spam.

Hey there Spammah
I know times are getting hard,
But just believe me, spammah,
Someday I'll spam all night with this computer.
We'll spam it good,
We'll spam the life we knew we would.
My spam is good.

Hey there Spammah
I've got so much left to spam,
If every simple spam I wrote to you,
Would take your computer use away,
I'd write it all.
Even more in spam with me you'd fall.
We'd spam it all.

Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,

A thousand spams seems pretty much,
But they've got emails and forums and laptops for their cars,
I'd walk to spam if I had no other way.
Our friends would all make spam with us,
and we'll just spam along because we know,
That none of them have spammed this way.
Spammah, I can promise you,
That by the time we get through,
The world will never ever be the same.
And spams to blame!

Hey there Spammah
You don't be good and don't forget to spam,
Two more years and you'll be spammin large,
And I'll be making spam history like I do.
You'll know it's all because of spam,
We can spam whatever we want to.
Hey there spam here's to you,
This ones for you!

Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
Oh it's what you make me spam,
What you make me spam.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Words to live by

-He who laughs last thinks slowest

-Who ever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.

-If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

-Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

-1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

-One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

-We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

-If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

-A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh?"

-A day without light is, well, night

-Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

-Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

-Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

-I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

-If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before.

-if anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought (eek)

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business!

You're intoxicated by my very presence

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. (except for Edward Cullen, of course)

Thanks Stephenie, now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Random questions ducksrule718 made!

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's
only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra
penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant,do they have to wear hairnets?

How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Here are some kewl quotes:

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!

If you dont like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.

Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.

If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.

Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door

"Bart, with 10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" -Homer Simpson

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"

"I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man...I could be eating a slow learner." -Lyndon B. Johnson

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." -Oprah

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions

9 Names:

YOUR REAL NAME:
Madison

YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle)

Madiizzle

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
gold wolf

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on)
Paige IndianCreek

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your middle name)

Brapa

YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)

purple dr. pepper

YOUR ARABIC NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your middle name)

Aaperte

YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Parents middle names)

Elizabeth Jerome

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Spike

if you don't like me i'm sorry but I don't care cause this is just me

Call me crazy and you don't know the half of it

Call me a bitch and I'll show you one

Screw me over and I'll screw you over twice as bad

Judge me and I'll prove you wrong

Tell me what to do and I'll tell you off

Say im not worth it and watch where I end up

The freshman child, oh so shy, sits and observes the Sophomore guy.

The sophomore guy, head all in a whirl, sits and watches the Junior girl.

The junior girl, in her red sedan, sits and admires the Senior man.

The senior man, all hot and wild, secretly loves the Freshman child.

Sayings:

GROWING UP

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let us down probably will.

You'll have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts

too, so remember how it felt when someone broke yours. You'll fight with your best friend and maybe

even fall in love with them. You'll blame a new love, for the things an old one did. You'll cry because time

is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone close to you. So take too many pictures, laugh too

much, and love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of

Happiness you'll never get back.

WE'RE JUST GIRLS WHO HAPPEN TO...laugh for no reason,have stupid fights that are over in like 10 minutes,attempt to sing and dance like in the music videos,make fun of each other when we walk into stuff & no matter what happens we're always best friends=)

Month 1:

Mommy

I am only 8 inches long

but I have all of my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Every time I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heart beat

is my favorite lullaby.

Month 2:

Mommy

Today I learned how suck my thumb.

If you could see me

you could definitely tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It is so nice and warm in here.

Month 3:

You know what mommy

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I don't like when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you can't hear me.

Month 4:

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have alot of it.

I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs.

I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month 5:

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I am not a baby.

I am a baby mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, what's abortion?

Month 6:

I can hear the doctor again.

I don't like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I can't get away from it!

Mommy! HELP me!

Month 7:

Mommy

I am okay.

I am in Jesus's arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me mommy?

Every Abortion is Just...

one more heart that was stopped

two more eyes that will never see

two more hands that will never touch

two more legs that will never run

one more mouth that will never speak

This so spoke to me and I hope it spoke to you and maybe brought a tear to your eye like it did to me. If it did then pass it along any way you can.

:¨·.·¨:
·.EDWARD

This is awesome!!

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.

What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could start
at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.

'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also think

Favorite Pairings

BramblexSquirrel-

They are SO cute together, can you blame me? I mean look at them! They deserve each other! Brambleclaw would like totally kill Starclan to protect her, I'm sure of it!!

CrowxFeather

I love them he loves her so terribly much, I bawled my eyes out when she died, that page is stained by tears! I hate the Erins sometimes!

CrowxLeaf

I know Crowfeather can't be with both of them, but OMG she loves him so much I had finger nail marks on my palms for the rest of the days from clenching my fists!

CloudxBright

They are so cute! I mean Cloudtail was SO devoted to her, he like gave up his warrior life for moons to train her, and he didn't care! And what he said to her that one time in the medicine den, oh I was crying! (He said, "You'll always be beautiful to me." when someone gasped after seeing her face.). But I have to pity Daisy, her mate likes her sister better than her! But still, she was SO annoying! ("My kit! My kit!" GRRRR!"

StonexLeopard

I know they never even hinted Leopardstar and Stonefur getting together, but that would have been SO cute!

WillowxJay

I know in my story JayxHoney is so big, even though there is NO hints, and I love them together, but I mean Willowpaw and Jaypaw is like the cutest thing ever! Not only are they both medicine cats, but they're in different clans! But you know what would also be cute? If a medicine cat fell in love with his/her apprentice!

SorrelxBracken

I'm sorry but LOOK at them! I mean ADORABLE! It seems fit that Cinderpelt is reincarnated as one of her brother's kits doesn't it! And I don't just love them because I wouldn't be alive if they hadn't gotten together!

BerryxHolly

Hollypaw totally likes him! It is SO cute! But, poor Berrypaw, what kind of name is Berry!

WhitexWillow

Those cuties, made another cutie named Sorreltail, who got with Brackenfur and made another cutie named Poppyleaf! They are just so cute!

FirexSand

Do I even have to explain?

GrayxSilver

Dare you disagree??

LionxHeather

Ooooo, forbiden loves! SO CUTE!

MousexMinnow

This is SO cute! They're both prey!

LittlexCinder

The cutest couple EVER! I mean adorable!

StormxBrook

I love them they are so cute!

PrincessxRunning

I just thought this off the top of my head. I was going to make a story, but today I saw someone else had already.

Hated Couples

CrowxNight

Can you really blame me? I mean EW! She is SO old! I'm sorry but you do NOT couple with a girl older than you Crowfeather!

GoldenxTiger

Goldenflower is like my favorite elder ever, she is so nice! And Tigerstar tried to steal her kits, tried to kill her leader, I mean I bet his betrayal shook her just as much as Bluestar! I know without that there would be no Brambleclaw or Tawnypelt, but still! Tigerstar doesn't deserve love!

SquirrelxAsh

Geez Ashfur you perv just leave her alone. Go marry Whitewing or Leopardstar.

FirexSpotted

She's a fricken medicine cat for goodness sake! It was just a cute little crush people!

SwiftxBright

I know she went with him to the dog pack and they were close and everything, but NO. CloudxBright all the way.

TigerxBlue

WHAT. THE. HELL. SHE. HATES. HIM. HE. HATES. HER. THEY. HATE. EACH. OTHER. DEAL WITH IT!

WhitexBlue

No! Whitestorm belongs to Willowpelt! Oh, and re-reading Secrets Of The Clans, I learned something. Whitestorm is Bluestar's nephew! They can't love each other, they would have crooked babies!

RavenxBarley

THEY. ARE. NOT. GAY.

ShrewxSquirrel

It's cute and all, and I WOULD love it, but SquirrelxBramble all the way, 'ya know?

TigerxSasha

HE. DOES. NOT. DESERVE. LOVE.

Favorite Cats

Stormfur I love him

Brambleclaw I love him, and his desperation when Squirrelflight left him. That badger fight was a blessing, not a curse!

Squirrelflight I mean, don't you love her? She is so spunky and crazy, a role model to she-cats everywhere!

Leafpool She is so patent and cute, she deserved Crowfeather as much as Feathertail!

Crowfeather He's so CUTE! And his desperation just makes him cuter! But I feel bad for him too!

Jaypaw Kill anyone who says different, JAYPAW ROCKS!

Feathertail She is so cool! She gave her life for strangers! Go Feathertail, the silver-she cat!

Graystripe Go Gray! He is hot, and funny!

Hated Cats

Nightcloud She deserves to be tied to an oven on 365 degrees Farenheight until she dies, a slow painful, hungry, thirsty death, with a Vole steak and a stream just a foxlengh away.

Tigerstar Why I didn't put him on earlier, I'm unaware

Hawkfrost Look up!

Jacob-itis

You may or may not have heard of a recent disease that has been sweeping the globe, leaving masses of people infected. The new, yet extremely dangerous disease is called Jacob-itis, named so after the character Jacob Black, from the series of books by Stephenie Meyer. Males are extremely resistant to the disease. If fact, one interesting quality of the disease is that it not only infects individuals, it can even affect groups of people as a whole, and can indirectly influence those not infected. Signs of the disease include:

1. Intense infatuation with the mentioned Jacob Black.

2. Bearing the Mark of Jacob on one's hand (The Mark of Jacob is typically the word "Jacob" written on one's hand, although it may be accompanied with other lovestruck phrases)

3. A desire to name one's puppy Jacob.

4. A willingness to change one's name to go with the surname "Black".

5. Fighting over Jacob with other victims of the disease.

6. Subconsciously inserting the word "Jacob" into everyday conversation.

7. Sqee-ing over Jacob.

8. Having a preference for the color Black.

9. Adopting the catchphrase "Sure sure!"

10. Having naughty thoughts about Jacob.

11. Writing (sometimes naughty) fiction about Jacob.

12. A need to have a picture of Jacob as one's screensaver.

13. A sudden upsurge in the number of baby boys named Jacob.

14. Obsession with Jacob Black.

15. The male population marrying illiterate women, or those not infected by Jacob-itis.

16. Saying Jacob for no apparent reason, and sighing.

17. Complete memorization of the books with Jacob in them.

18. If the sickness has worsened, victims may have turned into Jacob-nerds, though they may not be able to accept the fact that the word nerd could ever be used with Jacob.

19. In especially severe cases, loss of coherent thought, with the exception of the word Jacob.

20. Final sympton: A Jacob coma, from which victims emerge as Jacob zombies, mindless slaves who serve only to obey their true love's will.

So always be on the alert for these signs, and if you notice them, and are female, get out of the place - fast, or risk joining the legions who have already been infected with Jacob-itis. (If you are a guy, no worries. The only side-effect for guys is intense jealousy

Ultimate Twilight Obsession Quiz

You know you're obsessed with the Twilight Series when:
1. you download every song from Stephanie Meyers playlist and listen to them non-stop on your iPod.
2. you dream about it every night.
3. you want to go to Forks for your spring break.
4. you squeal every time you see a silver Volvo, even if it's not your favorite car.
5. you cringe whenever you hear/see Edward's or Bella's name and it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer.
6. you've ceased to believe that vampires actually have fangs or any weakness. And you believe all vampires must be inherently hot.
7. you're counting down the minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out.
8. you quote lines from the books for use in your everyday speech.
9. you solidly believe your boyfriend is a vampire simply on the basis that he's sexy.
10. you refer to your ideal boyfriend as an "Edward."
11. you pre-order your copy of Breaking Dawn at Barnes & Noble.
12. you name your characters after the Twilight characters.
13. you cry because your father used New Moon as a coaster for his drink
14. you count down the days till Edwards birthday 60 days before it starts. (June 20th)
15. a love song comes on and you immediately think of Edward and Bella.
16. you have bought both the audio books.
17. you have bought t-shirts from twilightteez.com.
18. you relate even the weirdest things to the book.
19. you carry the books with you.
20. you go to Forks.
21. you almost faint when you first saw the cover of Eclispe.
22. you think you can feel Edward beside you while you're reading(or just doing nothing at all).
23. you talk to nothing but think you're talking to Edward.
24. you stay locked in your room until you've read it over a million times.
25. you start talking to it (the book).
26. you talk to your friends about it...even though they have no idea what you're talking about!
27. you ask them how you know you love the Twilight series even though they STILL don't know what you're talking about.
28. you sleep with the book cradled in your arms.
29. while talking to your friends, they mention something that reminds you of Twilight, and you mutter a joke for Twilight-lovers with super hearing and start laughing your head off.
30. you are highly considering naming your future children the characters names.
31. in class, you relate every project to something in the book.
32. the name Edward becomes your new favorite guy name.
33. you didn't let anybody else touch your books.
34. you and your boyfriend call each other "Edward" and "Bella".
35. you sit on the roof of your house every night waiting for Edward to come.
36. you name random people at your school the characters' names.
37. you wish for them not to make a Twilight movie because it could never be as good as the book but still want to see it.
38. you start failing in school because either your reading the Twilight Series. Or you are thinking about Edward and his family.
39. you make a protective cover for your twilight to ensure that you never leave your copy of Twilight when it goes with you to yours friend's house.
40. you create a debate in class over Edwards "perfection"
41. you and your friends try to guess the entire plot to Breaking Dawn.
42. you refer to it as "The Black and Red Bible"
43. you start imagining scenes from the books in your head before you go to bed.
44. you try to compare a lot of things to the book.
45. your cry at sad parts of the book... Even though you've read it 20 times.

Random

Disclaimers are stupid. I'm obviously not Stephenie Meyer.

If you're a Jacob fan, you can just go shoot yourself in the foot.

If you're an Edward fan, I completely agree with you and am certain you are a wonderful person.

If you don't know who Jacob and Edward ( ) are, then leave. Seriously. Go. Now.

WARNING: Having a vampire boyfriend may be hazerdous to your health. Not that you care , Bella ;)

Real men Sparkle...

I like my men cold, dead, and sparkling.

When little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire.

Bite me... you know you want to!

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. It was a hard line to walk.

Kroptonite doesn't bother me either.

Well, It's no irritable grizzly...

I'm dazzled by a fictional(yeah right!) vampire by the name of EDWARD CULLEN

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny in your profile to help him gain world domination

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.

If you ever fell of a chair backwards copy this in yout profile.

AV is Addictied to Vampires

If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil. Copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension. Copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch it wasn't cool to breath any more. Put this in yput profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a wall, copy and paste this in yout profile( This always happens to me!)

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're one of those people how get exited when you see just two reviews, copy this in your profile.

If you're an obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this in your profile.

If you truely belive, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you ( Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your pro.

If you have a child, you're considering the name Edward or Anthony, copy and paste in your pro.

95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste.

If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste.

If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile.

If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and is hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE!

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight its NOT funny no more, copy and paste.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
I'm a CANADIAN, so I MUST live in an igloo.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you yell at your computer when news about the Twilight movie is posted C&P

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

If you spit every time you hear vile Mike Newton's name, copy and paste this into your profile

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

Have you noticed that life, real honest-to-goodness life, with murders and catastrophes and fabulous inheritances, happens almost exclusively in the newspapers?

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

If Every time at twilight you say 'It's twilight, it's the safest time for us' Copy this into your profile

When every you see an apple you think of twilight copy this into you profile

If you walk around you house talking to your self about somthing that happned in one of the twilight books Copy this into your profile

If you think that the damn kids should just let Lucky eat his damn cereal, C&P

If you think that turkey-bird thing should be admitted into rehab for his obsession to Coco Puffs, C&P

If you think Barney should stop stealing Fred's pebbles, C&P

If you think that those F-in kids should just let the rabbit get some goddamn Trixs, C&P

If you have no idea who the hell that old, weird parrot is in the Fruit Loops commercial, C&P

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If when ever you are out in public and you hear something relating to Twilight you want to scream and squeal, but you don't 'cause you're in public, so you just get a goofy grin on your face. C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Ailce

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Alice

If you are not one of those people who thinks having over 1 thousand friends on myspace is a contest copy this to your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If your like Sharpies, penguins, cookies, close friends, MSN, AIM, and the internet, copy this to your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know you're addicted to Twilight when August 2th is the most decorated date on your calendar. Copy and paste this into your profile if it is!

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

You know you're addicted to Twilight when August 2th is the most decorated date on your calendar. Copy and paste this into your profile if it is!

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, lovelyxangel, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Alice

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you bite your friends shoulder because you are bored.Crazy is when you you convince your self your a mythical creature and try to make other be leave the same. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If people mistake you for a vampire (I wish they did... sigh) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (all the time)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. (read it ALL the time.)

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile..

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Mysterious Miracle, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, Alicegirl, Zandylion, BellaxEdwardforever95, Pixel Alice,

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been called weird because you typed OMC instead of OMG copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever passed notes in class when you are allowed to talk copy and paste this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Jojo is the cutes emo ever! Copy and paste into your profile.

You wish they can make a Jojo plushie Copy and Paste

Actually look for specks on a clover C&P

Whoville is really just that we have to look hard for it C&P

You think the Whos do exist C&P

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

AV: Addicted to Vampires

OMC: since Edward is a perfect angel (me: sigh), and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisile. That, and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God. (me: this is makes a lot of sense)

And God (CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward..." and it was all goood. (me: uh-huh. no arguements there!)

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

If you think child abuse is wrong and needs to stop, copy and paste this into your profile.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS! It's actually important.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

You know you lived 2007 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. If you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list,and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were to busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And you are laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you felt for it. You know you did.

Try not to cry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month One

Mommy

I am only eight inches long

but I have all my organs.

I love the sound of your voice.

Everytime I hear it

I wave my arms and legs.

The sound of your heartbeat

is my favorite lullaby.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Two

Mommy

today I learned how to suck my thumb.

If you could see me

You could definetly tell that I am a baby.

I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.

It's so warm and nice in here.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Three

You know what Mommy?

I'm a boy!!

I hope that makes you happy.

I always want you to be happy.

I don't like it when you cry.

You sound so sad.

It makes me sad too

and I cry with you even though

you cant hear me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Four

Mommy

My hair is starting to grow.

It is very short and fine

but I will have a lot of it.

I spend a lot of my time exercising.

I can curl my head and curl my fingers and toes

and stretch my arms and legs

I am becoming quite good at it too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.

Mommy, he lied to you.

He said that I'm not a baby.

I am a baby Mommy, your baby.

I think and feel.

Mommy, whats ambortion?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.

I dont like him.

He seems cold and heartless.

Something is intruding my home.

The doctor called it a needle.

Mommy, what is it? It burns!

Please make him stop!

I cant get away from it!

Mommy! HELP ME!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Month Seven

Mommy

I am OK.

I am in Jesus' arms.

He is holding me.

He told me about ambortion.

Mommy, why didnt you want me?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Every ambortion is just...

One more heart that was stopped

Two more eyes that will never see

Two more hands that will never touch

Two more legs that will never run

One more moth that will never speak.

Ambortion is wrong. People are here on earth for a reason, and some crazy mothers dont want their babies.

If you are against ambortion copy and paste!!

HORTON HEARS A WHO:

JoJo: YOPP!

JoJo: What would we do without you Horton?

JoJo I CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE!

Ned: Hehe, Shiny, shiny horn...hehe...

Sally: Ned, you know you're on the ROOF, right?

Horton: Hmmm, what's lighter then a feather? Oh, I know! Air! There's nothin' lighter!

Wekersham Brothers: GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

Horton: I shall make monkeys out of these monkeys!

Ned: Great, great, great, NOT so great...

Katie: In my world, everybody is a pony, and they eat rainbows, and poop butterflies!

Ned: Jojo, stop staring at my arm.

Sally: Go to bed, sweetie. Daddy's having a breakdown.

Sally: It's a T-H, sweetheart, it's TOOTH.

Clover with Ned's Voice: Horton's the greatest hero of them all!

Sour Kangaroo: No, Rudy. Stay in your room.

Sour Kangaroo: That's why my Rudy is pouch-schooled.

My name is Nora
and I'm seventeen,
I am on drugs
and cannot clearly see.
Because of this
my grades in school have dropped.
I am very drunk,
Sometimes I'm beaten up
by some street punk.
There are so many rules
i've tried not to break,
But I am so drunk
that I can't stand up straight.
I am so drunk ,
Most of the time
I cannot talk.
Maybe if my parents trusted me,
they would let me hold a car key.
One night I was out walking around,
But there was a sound
and then I saw a man
who didn't want me in town.
The man was holding a gun,
He was not as bright
He was like a Earth without a sun.
My name is Nora
I am seventeen,
and tonight a man
murdered me.
Remember: Say NO to drugs!! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop.If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew, Jojo McDodd, Pixel Alice

Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the

tree. The boys dont want to

reach for the good ones because they're

afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they

just get the rotten appes on the ground that

aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the

top think there's something wrong with them. When, in reality,

They are amazing. They just have to wait till the right

boy comes along. The ones who will climb all the way to

the top of the tree.

try not to cry on this one:

A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.

Guy: then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now please slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

(She gives him a big hug)

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.

I find "good morning" contradictory

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? (me: huh? oh, take that!)

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

I think I could be madly in like with you

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!

Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot! (me: hell yeah!)

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, dumbass?" (me: or "New Feet?")

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up (me: in public) to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a brdge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

~ Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.

~ Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

~ I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.

~ All i ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!

~ They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken. -thats my fav 'cause it's so true!

~ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~ Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

~ Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

~ Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

~ Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

~ What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Try reading this!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinerytisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read this copy and paste it into your profile!

Something I laughed my ASS of reading and brought it here for you!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

FAVOURITE TWILIGHT SAYINGS:

EMMETT: "Fall down again, Bella?" BELLA: "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

EDWARD: "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?" ALICE: "It's a talent."

BELLA: "I'm betting on Alice."

EDWARD: "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb." BELLA: "what a stupid lamb." EDWARD: "what a sick masochistic lion."

EDWARD:"if i could dream at all it would be about you, and im not ashamed of it..."

BELLA: "So what you're saying is i'm your brand of heroine?" EDWARD: "yes. you are exactly my brand of heroine."

BELLA: "I'm feeling extremely insignificant."

BELLA: "It's hard to breathe because every breath i take it proves i can't live without you."

EDWARD: "you are so bizarre, even for a human."

ALICE: "How opposed are you to grand theft auto?"

EDWARD: "i think she's having hysterics." ALICE: "Maybe you should slap her!" EDWARD: "..."

BELLA: "About three things i was absolutely positive; one, Edward was a vampire. Two, there was a par of him, and i didn't know how strong that part might be, that thristed for my blood. and thrid, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

BELLA: "We'll live in Antarctica." EDWARD:"Penguins. Lovely."

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather act stupid than smart.

I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life. (sigh Jacob sigh)

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.

I'm the kind of girl who sits quietly in the back of my Texas History class secretly planning World Domination.

Copy and paste things!

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have taken a "which twilight character are you quiz" and have gotten the opposite sex, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you did not know that a dentist invented the electric chair and now is freaked out, copy and this on your profile.

If you have drank beer or wine, and your underage, copy this into your profile. (I have)

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped someone, copy this into your profile.

If you have slapped someone upside the head ( i always do that), copy this into your profile.

If you believe that chocolate and female mix perfertly, then copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been so sick that the world has all been green/ blue, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this into your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe),QuickCookie, Edward is My Life, Cellobunnie, PeTeRpAn345, AuthorAngel,La tua Cantante101

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Bah Bah Blacksheep had the same tune.

Who agrees with me that homophobes are nasty, insensitive people?

If you have ever tried to hi-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and end up hitting them in the head, copy and paste this onto your profile

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

Bella saw the children dressed as werewolves and vampires trading candy and laughing and wondered why couldn't it be like that in real life.

If you constantly have 'I love Edward Cullen' rants, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish you were Bella Swan, copy and paste this into your profile

If you can't wait for Breaking Dawn to come out copy and paste this into your profile

If you have gotten more than three of your friends addicted to Twilight, copy and paste

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't believe life is fair shit...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of kids the out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to this list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairytobe, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, EmeraldBear, Kyprioths Shadow, Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029,Bookluvrxoxo,Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile: Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029, Bookluvrxoxo,Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile: Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029,Bookluvrxoxo,Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile and add your name:ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, EmeraldBear, Kyprioths Shadow, Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029, Bookluvrxoxo,Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie andFitchtold them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at others: Ebony Rayne, Jelly1029, Bookluvrxoxo,Totally Crazy and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a sliding glass door copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. (caugh cassey Caugh)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, O.C., House, or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx,Totally CRAZY and Hyper, La tua Cantante101.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that HarryHermione shippers are delusional(especially if they have read books 4-7, and still believe in that pairing), copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a ‘watch your step’ sign, copy this into your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have run up and down an escalator copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are so obsessed with musical theatre that you randomly start quoting it, copy and paste this into your profile

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate flamers that point out every single little detail that is wrong in their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile. (And PROUD of it!)

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. (don't get me started..)

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If u think cats r awesome, copy this to your profile,

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just hate flamers period, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a clutz like me, copy and past this into your profile.

80 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasnt copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, and were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile. (Well, I'm way more insane than her.)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've known your best friend since kindeegawden, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you LOVE cats more than dogs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you blame a failing grade on A) the teacher hating you, B) being Confunded, C) anything but the fact that you didn't study, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more MWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read Twilight too many times to count, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Twilight, copy and past this into your profile.

If you can quote Stephanie Meyer's literary works like me, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read Eclipse, and believe that Jacob was a jerk to Bella for making her choose, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have anymore ideas on how to continue this list, then email me, and copy and paste this into your profile.

You know you own a German Shepard when...

1# All your outfits include tan and black hair

2# You theraten people that annoy you with your dog

3# you haven't bothered to enstall that doorbell you've had for HOW long now...

#4 Did i mention the security system...

5# you have a k9 vacum cleaner

6# the mailman, ups guy, pizza guy, neibohrs, and friends mothers are all terriorfided of your house

7# your bed is always warm

8# you refer to all small dogs as "chew toys"

9# You have no trouble with trespassers

You might just spend too much time on fanfiction if...

...you confuse your friends when you say things like "Chappie" "fanfic" "flame" "Mary-Sue" etc in an everyday conversation

...a single chapter of your fanfiction is longer than all of your school essays put together

...you prefer to be called by your penname

...when people annoy you you theaten to flame them

You wonder why your favorite authors didn't think of all the things your friends on fanfiction came up with when they wrote the cannon.

...when people mention that they like the guiter player Slash, you say; "YOU READ SLASH EWW!!"

...you have gotten at least 4 people to get a username on the site

...you get more excited about reviews than you do presents/holidays/etc.

THATS ALL FOLKS!! Yes yes, i know you all where fasinated by this novel of a profile (haha) so PLEASE check out my stories

Reviews make me write faster!

We must all hate anything that changes the sexuality of any Rent character, because what Jonathon Larson wrote is LAW!!

If you have ever wished you could give Roger Davis a BIG HUG so he would stop angsting, copy and paste this into your profile

If hearing about Harry/Hermoine fanfictions make you gag, copy this into your profile

98 of teenagers do or have tried pot. If you are part of the 2 that hasn't, copy this into your profile.(I'm drug free and proud of it!)

If Gelphies make you gag, copy this into your profile (I mean no disrespect to Gelphie writers)

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile

If you love God with 100 of your heart and are proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you think green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it was uncool to breathe. If you are part of the 8 who would be laughing your ass off, copy this into your profile.

95 of teens are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the 5 that aren't, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: Twilightwicked5678

If you're 'Defying Gravity' and no one can bring you down, copy this into your profile and rock on!!

If you want to play Glinda or Elphaba in Wicked, copy this into your profile (Elphaba all the way!)

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied something into your profile, copy this into your profile

If you are the kind of person who gets excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile (story of my life)

If Broadway is your home no matter what anyone says, copy this into your profile

Just because we eat animals for food does not mean we can cut them up for clothing! Pass it on!

If you are against fur clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile

If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice-versa, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile

(If you think Edward Cullen is hotter...copy and paste this on your profile. ~Jay

If you think Jay is a fuddy-duddy for saying Edward was hotter than Fang...copy and paste this to your profile. ~SeA~

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

The phrase "im a lover, not a fighter" doesnt apply to me. i am a fighter not a lover

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile

If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!!)

If you have a problem with counsoluers, copy and paste!!

If you've ever misspelled your own fanfic screenname, copy and paste this onto your pro

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you think the semi-colon is completely usless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

if you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!!)

If you horrible at taking direction... copy and paste to your profile...

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile. (I think Edward's REALLY scared right now...)

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever stayed up all night just to watch the sunrise, copy and paste this onto your pro

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile. (dude, it was weird)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever gotten a paper-cut on your lips from kissing Twilight, copy and paste this onto your pro

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hizmit12-waterlilly3721, hinoru14, Hinata of the Waterfall. xox.M.i.d.n.i.g.h.t.xox La tua Cantate101

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

have you ever been hurt because you daydreaming,if you have copy and paste on your profile

have your friends tell you that you are to obsess with fics that you are scaring them, copy and paste to your profile

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hinoru 14, PerfectPaperHeart (changed) La tua Cantante101

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed a door that clearly said PUSH, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers have participated in underaged drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings when you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree(or not), copy this and put it in your profile.

If you hate selfish, racist, homophobic, biased assholes, put this in your profile

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, O.C., House, or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

Copy this into your profile if you're a procrastination addict. (It's okay, you can do it later...)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

Fang = 98 percent human, 2 percent bird, 100 percent hott!

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile

If you've ever crashed into a wall while on a sugar high copy this onto your profile

If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room copy this onto your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway copy this onto your profile

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless copy this onto your profile

Emmett Cullen: Stronger than you since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1915

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Randomness

"You are a frightening little monster."~Jasper (I laughed incredibly hard at this line)

"Just remember. It's your face." ~Edward (true... true...)

"Penguins, lovely." ~Edward (poor Edward... poor penguins!! Must go on rebellion about penguin-killing, lmfao)

-I Bow Before you Stephenie Meyer-

"...Because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire." -Bella Swan

". . .And now I'm off to overthrow Canada!" ~ Norm the Genie, from The Fairly Odd Parents

this is just funny:

You know you live in 2008 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Email.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. know you did.

When Other Little Girls Wanted To Be Ballet Dancers, I Wanted To Be A Vampire.

Vampires Are Real, I Know One By The Name Edward Cullen.

My Gay-dar is ponting at you madly, in your tight jeans and man make-up... I think there's something wrong with it...

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

I live in a worls of Rainbows, hearts and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life=D

Guys with Emo hair are like a billion times more sexy than other guys.

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

My goal in life is to have everyone I have ever come into contact with fall in love with Twilight series, and, more importantly, EDWARD!

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

OID is Obsessive Iggy Disorder

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile

This is a little spot in my profile for GOD! I love you GOD!

If you love God with all your heart, and are not afraid to tell the world. and are 100 percent proud of it. copy this into your profile.

The Enthusiast, Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile

~Jesus:~

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

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