Wewt! After two years of complete and total silence, I'm finally back! I guess I've got some 'splaining to do, so I might as well get right to it. See, just as I was getting to my next update, my computer died...big time. Along with it went quite a bit of work and with that, I kinda decided to just take a nice, long break. So after a time that can only be classified as "way too damn long", I've decided to try my hand at this ficcy nonsense again and see if I can avoid the floggings this time 'round.

Name: My name? Bah, I know how these internets work! I give out personal information once and some guy from Thailand shows up at my house the next day to rape my credit cards and steal my anus! Listen, if you really gotta go rape someone, try Adam Sessler. He seems weak and frail and I doubt anyone would care if he was ever violated. He's a prime canidate for the rapes if I do say so myself.

Location: What did I just tell you?

Credit Card Number: Haha, very funny.

Personal information that could be used to get me violated by a hairy man from Thailand: ...

Srsly: I'm 19 and male, that's all you're getting.

All silliness aside, I'm a writer of comedy and action, both with a morbid love of violence.

Anyway, I've got three fics right now, which I'll list below...

The Chronicles of Whale the Whale: Admit it, you've given thought to just WHY this particular whale hates Sonic so bad. The answer? He's filled with anger and discontent for every living being alive, what else? And now you can experience his dark journey down the road of madness and melodrama. Prepare yourself for the brutalized stepchild of a story that is...Whale the Whale!

Save Maria!: I've also got another one that I just churned out as a result of a horrible case of the writer's block as far as Whale the Whale goes. This one is a comedy (wow, a comedy, how unexpected) starring Shadow on a quest to go back in time and save Maria, something he will fail at, very very horribly. If you liked Whale the Whale, then you should like this. (And vice versa...)

Heritage of Lost Haven: Alright, so remember when I said a while back that if I ever wrote anything other than comedy, that you should all come to my house and beat me with a giant, flaccid noodle or something of the sort? Well yeah, get the noodles out, cause I did it, I so fuggin' did it. The end result here is one of the few Babylon-centric Sonic fics that you'll find, loaded to the brim with violence and death and all that jazz. Oh yeah, there's supposed to be some fancyful writing somewhere in there. Right now it's just a T, but it'll likely be swapped to an M later on for some of the parts I've got planned

And on a somewhat related note, I've heard about (and even received a very vague review from) a group of elitists that go around bashing Sonic fanfics if they don't meet up to their "elite literature standards".(Although I'm not sure exactly what these standards are, as they don't seem to know what "Constructive Critique" is.) Now I'm not gonna go pointing any fingers. (No, I'm going to cough out their names, coughwinglessraincoughinsolentcough and that's just to not name a few) But, this matters to me because I just love throwing down the gauntlet on silly little matters like this for my own sick enjoyment. So I say, bring it on! I'm bored as hell, anyway!