Animelover3737
 Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and High School Musical. Anime Shows I Watch: Naruto, InuYasha, Fullmetal Alchemist, Fruits Basket, Angelic Layer, Girls Bravo, Rizelmine, Shakugan no Shana, Ouran High School Host Club, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Prince of Tennis PenName:Nami Krithe Gender:Female My Favorite Pairings Naruto: Neji - Tenten Naruto - Hinata Sasuke - Sakura Shikamaru - Ino Gaara - Matsuri InuYasha: InuYasha - Kagome Miroku - Sango Sesshomaru - Rin (older, obviously) Koga - Ayame Shippo - Soten/Kirara Fruits Basket: Tohru - Kyo Yuki - Machi Kuragi Girls Bravo: Yukinari - Miharu Shakugan no Shana: Yuji - Shana Ike - Kazumi Eita - Ogata Satou - Margery Twilight: Edward - Bella The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Kyon - Haruhi Prince of Tennis: Ryoma - Sakuno Ouran High School Host Club: Tamaki - Haruhi If you...then copy this to ur profile Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! "A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Copy and Paste if your a Ninja! Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile. If you love the couple NejixTenten, copy and paste this into your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If they are correct…copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile. !eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile! If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile! The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is plotting world domination,copy and paste this into your profile. If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. If you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?", copy and paste this to your profile If you think those annoying kids should give that freakin' Trix Rabbit some Trix, copy and paste. If you have ever repeatedly ran into a glass door copy this into your profile If you seem to always end up on your butt, copy this in your profile. Quotes (I got these quotes from other peoples pros so idk who said them but i dont own or watevr) A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!' If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving definitely isn't for you. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Black Mage- Oh man, this girl is just too perfect. I mean, she casts magic, I cast magic. She's cute and I'm not entirely hideous. We've got so much in common! And just look at her. It's not natural to be that damn hot. They ought to pass a law against those eyes 'cause DAMN! And red hair. It just HAD to be red hair, didn't it? As if it wasn't already painfully obvious that she could never be interested in a twisted soul like me, the foul and wretched fate had to give her red hair. That's, that's just plain unfair is what that is. Women like this just can't be real. I bet under those robes she's really some robot or monster. In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death. It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire. When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me. "The quivering hand does not thrust the blade straight." "Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." I RUN INTO POLES DAILY. GET OVER IT. A good motto to live by: Try not to get killed. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull...the optometry clinic is on the second floor. If you have ever fallen up the stairs I really...don't know what to say... If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, I know how you feel. If some of your favorite words confuse your friends, buy them a dictionary for Christmas! This is hilarious! i love how everyone keeps getting trapped in bathrooms. i almost started choking on my Cheez-it from too much laughing! That is so awesome! I loved the part where she was like, "Oh it was just me... trying to practice my... Evil laughter?" Sister/brother Fix: Lock your sister/brother in a dungeon, and then present her/him as a prisoner of war to your parents. Make sure to announce her/him as a traitor. Love is like a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath it. Soon at night the ice weasels come out... yep, your doomed for all eternity... If someone wants to know where you learned something just shrug your shoulders and say "I learned that from a mad genius." I am not normal because I am not like the people who are normal but I am normal because the people who are normal are not normal because they are normal.' Did you get that? You laugh now, but who will be laughing when I crawl out from under your bed? When I can't sleep I count the buckles on my straight jacket... Star Wars is like duct tape, it has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together! Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs. Hey great idea! We could of snuck in an air vent, but attacking them and then breaking down the door just sounded too awesome! Quit shaking my yogurt, you'll make it turn evil! People always say "It's always the last place you look"...well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? AH! My arm is alive, look at it twitch, HOLY HELL, IT'S LIKE JELLO! If I don't come out with my hands up, I'm coming in after me! Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them The next time I want to know anything, please remind me that I DON"T want to know anything. Ever. Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING? I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof! The word "politics" is derived from the word "poli", meaning "many", and "tics", meaning "small, blood-sucking parasites" You laugh at me because i'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder! Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away from him and you got his shoes! Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. If that doesn't work, you should probably just give up on it. Or threaten them with spoons. Life is good, when you got free ice cream, other than then it pretty much stinks... I don't get it... come to think of it I don't get a lot of things, and have the attention span of about 5 seconds... what was I talking about? There is a fine line between insanity and stupidity. Feel free to cross it! I didn't lose my mind - I sold it on E-Bay! I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do. Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... I'm a palm reader: Gasp! You're going to die! But don't worry, you'll live through it. There are two types of pedestrians: The quick and the dead. A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!" Guys: No shirt, no service. Girls: No shirt, no charge. Dying is just nature's way of saying: "Hey! You're not alive anymore!" Clean laundry helps the confidence level, which helps the self-image, which helps you... umm... win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money! Which causes immense spending, which then triggers high anxiety, which causes a heart attack at the age of 31 and puts you in a coma for 10 years while you lose all your money and start at the beginning again! If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma! You don't need to outrun the bear. You need to outrun the other guy who's being chased by the bear. Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles De Gaulle, former French President Most lies about blondes are false. I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something. The world is more like it is now then it ever has before He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. Caution, Blind Man Driving. All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film! OK, so what's the speed of dark? Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs. You say 'physco' like it's a bad thing I'm sugar and spice and everything nice, but if you wanna mess with me you'd better think twice Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP! They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room? I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down! When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie! Guys are like lava lamps; they're fun to look at, but just not so bright Does the noise in my head bother you? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It! There are a lot of things in life that money can buy, for everything else, there's theft and murder I'm ery creative when it comes to making people beg for death All I need to do is figure out what I need to do but, after that, no problem Jeff Corwin is being chased by a huge aligator like monster and it is gaining on him (Jeff is in a golf cart and was golfing with his friend) "I'm sorry but I have to do this" he pushes his friend with his golf out in order to gain some speed and then he appears to be crying "I'm gonna miss those golf clubs!" -Jeff Corwin I want to insult you but I can't think of anything! Nun: You know sir that little girl of yours is a blessing! Dad: is that what you call it? Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side and holds the universe together! When life gives you lemons throw them back and say, “I wanted apples you idiot!” A well-aimed apple a day keeps the doctor away. Silence is golden but duck tape is silver. Meddle thee not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup. A friend will help you up when you fall but a BEST friend will help you up then trip you again. A wise man once said, “I don’t know, go ask someone who went to college.” ... An insane asylum for the sane would be empty in America... We all live in flocks of socks- one moment we are in pairs- the next the dryer has stolen the other sock… DON'T BE THE DRYER How can I miss you if you won't go away? Nobody's perfect. Hi, I'm a Nobody. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. Confucius say 'man who live in glass house, change clothes in basement.' When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. I'd be a morning person if it didn't start so early in the day. War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left. Someone told me to get a life, but I'm not sure where to download that. If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space. I am not crazy; I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic. Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go! If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Don't play stupid with me - I'm better at it! You have the right to remain silent...anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. UInfortunatly, stupidity isn't a crime so you’re free to go. Attitude problem? I don’t have a problem with my attitude. It’s all a pigment of your hallucination. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you! I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure… I'm going to live forever! Or die trying Well-behaved women don't make history. When it comes to thought, some people will stop at nothing. Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge. You are unique, just like everybody else. He who laughs last thinks slowest. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Quitters never win, and winners never quit, but those who never quit AND never win are idiots. I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. Ihts si het ubemnr fo itesm seoneom ahs ifurgde isht uto: 4 Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Throw the n00bs overboard, just to hear them SCREAM! If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends? If you forget to pay your exorcist, you might get repossessed. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. When you're at a store, go to the gun department and look at the guns. When someone asks if they can help you, ask where the anti-depressants are. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? And is it suicide or murder? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today. Don't get mad; get sadistic. Common sense is the enemy of comedy. Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART. My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog thinks I am. You learn to gain Knowledge. Knowledge is power. Power is the root of all evil. Therefore when ur teachers are trying to make u learn they are really trying to make u evil. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people. There are very few problems that can’t be solved using a large amount of explosives. I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away. It is not enough for u to succeed; others must fail. The devil sold his soul to Gaara. You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home. Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma? What is this 'kindness' you speak of? It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER! Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking. Define normal. Of all the things I've ever wished that I know could never be, the thing I wish the most is that I wish I wasn't me. When I saw you, I was afraid of meeting you. When I met you, I was afraid of kissing you. When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid of losing you. It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. It takes a minute to find someone special, an hour to appreciate them and a day to love them, but an entire lifetime to forget them I am constantly plotting murder for the people I hate. I am insane, and when called so I smile and think of watching you die. So what if I'm twisted. I happen to like the way I am. If you have a problem with that, then why are you still here talking to me? I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you!" Are you thinking what I'm thinking that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking then we've got a problem? Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense. I'm not crazy; my reality is just different than yours. The human race is lucky I'm a nice person, otherwise only 1/4 of them would be alive right now. I'm lost. I have gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please tell me to wait and call me to inform me of my return. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice just as big as it needs to be. Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, copy and paste this into your profile Why do Dentist insist on shoving giant needles in our mouths? It's because they have nothing else to do. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming like the passengers in his car. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head... Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours. Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off. If you are totally PISSED OFF at FREAKING FCC how they made the Drunken Fist the "Loopy Fist" in the FREAKING english version of Naruto AND even took away the red on Lee's face to at least IMPLY he was drunk AND even called it "ELIXER" instead of "SAKE" I MEAN WHAT THE HELL DO THEY THINK THAT EVERY KID THAT WATCHES THIS IS GOING TO GO OUT LOOK FOR SAKE, WHICH I DOUBT THEY'D EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS, DRINK IT AND TRY TO FIGHT EACH OTHER? I MEAN LOOK AT OTHER COUNTRIES THAT DON'T HAVE AN FCC, DO THEY HAVE CHILDREN IMETATING THINGS ON TV LEFT AND RIGHT? NO THEY DON'T! IF ANYTHING THEIR COUNTRY IS BETTER B/C OF IT. DAM YOU FCC DAM YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUU! FREAKING FCC NO ONE NEEDS YOU HERE, NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE SO JUST LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE! Why is that the moon made of cheese? In fact... why not applesauce? I like applesauce... and pie... "AL MIZSPELUERS OF TEH WURLD, UNTIE!!" I am the crazed sumo wrestler crashing through the wet paper bag that is your pathetic scheme! Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. The art to flying lies in the practise of throwing oneself at the ground, and missing. Pick a nice day and try it. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing. You hate me because I'm different from you. And I pity you for it. Too much chocolate is never enough. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, deal with whatever you get. Fences around cemeteries are foolish, for those inside can't get out and those outside don't want to go in. Confidence is that quiet, assured feeling you get just before you fall flat on your face. If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy? We have just witnessed a classic example of what is officially called 'misdirected rage'. Though I believe the common term is ‘being an ass’. Do you truly know me? No. You do not know me, you do not understand. You may think you do, and you take your hate from that assumption. But you do not know me, and until you do, the world to you will constantly be colored red. You can't change the past so why let it haunt you? You can change the future but first you have to want to. French might be the language of love, but German is the language of anger. I'd rather beg for forgiveness than ask permission. Even I don't trust my own better judgment- what does that say to you? Dont take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. The love that was put in your heart wasnt meant to stay, because love isn't love until you give it away. Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause... Did you realize how all our problems begin with MEN! The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender Good friends don't let you do stupid things...alone Is there no alchemy technique to burn a person through a phone?! -Roy Mustang (FMA) Smile- it confuses people. :) Dream as though you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask 'Why me?' Then a voice answers 'Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.' Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination. If you don't like it, stick a straw in your juice box and suck it!! If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off Heaven doesn't want me, Hell is afraid I'll take over, and the earth has a restraining order. When other girls wanted to be ballerinas, I wanted to be a vampire. Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Don't knock on Death's door- ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that. .Just give me the chocolate and no one gets hurt When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they're not there for you the first time, chances are you won't need them again. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... There are no stupid questions, just stupid people It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day, and, for the record, tomorrow isn't looking good either. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem. Rome didn't create an empire by having meetings- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you learn, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So... wait... why are we learning again? Suicide is another way of telling God 'You can't fire me- I QUIT!!' The earth is an insane asylum for the universe. Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy, but socially dead. Stress: a condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that desperately deserves it. Genius may have its limits, but stupidity does not Why is it when we talk to God it's called 'praying' but when God talks back, we're put in a straight jacket? Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls. Chao-check, panic-check, and disorder-check, well my work here is done. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never attempted to nail jell-o to a tree. Don't regret doing bad things- regret getting caught. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. If it's zero degrees out today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, what will the temperature be? Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. How many roads must a man walk down before he admits that he’s lost? Person: If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? You: No, I'd step off onto the pile of bodies and btw if "everyone jumped off a bridge" that means you would have too, unless u arent part of everyone. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. You know you're insane when the voices in your head say so. Sticks and Stones may break her bones but names could make her starve herself to death Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are foot prints on the moon. A true warrior may die once, while a coward will die a thousand times I'll try to be nicer, if you’ll try to be smarter. Life is not measured in the number breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breaths away. Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance When some one tells me to jump I don't say, how high?, I say, Leave me the f alone!! Reality is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Why are you called One-Man-Bucket?’ ‘…In my tribe we’re traditionally named after the first thing my mother sees when she looks out the tepee after birth. It’s short for One-Man-Pouring-A-Bucket-Of-Water-Over-Two-Dogs.’ ‘That’s pretty unfortunate.’ ‘It’s not too bad. It was my twin brother you had to feel sorry for. She looked out ten seconds before me to give him his name.’ ‘Don’t tell me, let me guess. Two-Dogs-Fighting?’ ‘Two-Dogs-Fighting? Two-Dogs-Fighting? Wow, he would have given his right arm to be called Two-Dog’s-Fighting…’ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip and slide. I agree with the dictionary; girls before boys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. I find "good morning" contradictory My heart? Yeah. Sooo not a playground. You laugh because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep in til noon When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..." A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, dumbass?" A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!" A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to the guy in public and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME! LETS DO IT AGAIN!! 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, well, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass. Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile REMEMBER WHEN ... ()() Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!) Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message to your profile. A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. ~pass the ribbon around if you know someone who has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy, Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you". ~19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~ 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are, what you’ve done, and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. |
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