Lena.in.the.skyhide bio
 Not much to tell. I'm addicted to coffee, in love with Bill Nighy and in a complicated relationship with my Master's degree. I dream of Scotland and Canada. I'm an angry baker and clowns scare me silly. I blush at the drop of a hat, but the blackest, crudest humor is what does it for me. I bond with cats more but like dogs better. I'm partial to happy music, ironic movies and depressing books. Yellow daisies make me happy. One day I'll try my hand at writing. In the meantime, I'll read everything I can get my hands on. Oh, and I'm a lurker. I'm trying to break the habit, but I don't always manage. Sorry? |
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Mate by sheviking reviews
"His gaze travels up and down my body, and I watch as he palms himself through his jeans, almost as if he's unaware of it, but I can tell he's straining against the button fly. Then, he leans over me again, and this time I don't shut my eyes. "Mate."" 1st place winner Public Vote for the Red-Eyed Edward Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 25,235 - Reviews: 959 - Favs: 2,637 - Follows: 1,750 - Updated: 12/24/2018 - Published: 11/15/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Everyday Magic by TheFicChick reviews
The residents of Birch Hollow are used to strange things happening in autumn.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,593 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 217 - Published: 10/31/2018 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Deviant by planetblue reviews
He pissed me off and then he turned me on. Spectacularly.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 94,477 - Reviews: 10770 - Favs: 6,784 - Follows: 4,501 - Updated: 7/27/2017 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Measure of Grace by Saritadreaming reviews
A virus sweeps over the earth, killing man and man's best friend. For the few survivors, the nightmare is just beginning. Who set the virus free, and how far will the remains of the government go to find a cure? An innocent girl, a fiercely loyal dog, a jaded man with a past. Can they survive this new world and its secrets? E/B, AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 182,653 - Reviews: 2765 - Favs: 1,038 - Follows: 1,514 - Updated: 9/1/2016 - Published: 4/7/2014 - Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper
My Life as a Trophy Wife by JennaRay reviews
Bella signs a contract with Edward to enter into a marriage based on financial gain. She's looking to take the easy road and instead finds a nearly impossible one she must travel on the path to finding herself, along with everything she never knew she wanted. This is the struggle of a broken little girl growing into the woman she's destined to be.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 43 - Words: 414,353 - Reviews: 12313 - Favs: 7,406 - Follows: 9,320 - Updated: 4/11/2016 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Bella, Edward
In the Woods by Oprah Winfrey reviews
A serious case of writer's block, an isolated cabin in the mountains, and a mysterious, surly stranger who is not looking for company. Mature Content. Very AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 41 - Words: 109,658 - Reviews: 2709 - Favs: 2,004 - Follows: 2,754 - Updated: 3/6/2016 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Edward, Bella
The Other Way by Honeybeemeadows reviews
Men, like jewels, require a setting. Even if the setting is the last place you'd expect.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 37 - Words: 98,095 - Reviews: 2298 - Favs: 1,190 - Follows: 865 - Updated: 2/10/2016 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper - Complete
Alaska by Anton M reviews
Complete. For two years, Bella's had a cotton candy romance going on with her taciturn best friend. In her head. So after catching bits and pieces of Edward's unusual upbringing, Bella pays a visit to Alaska. AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 104,192 - Reviews: 4372 - Favs: 2,047 - Follows: 1,890 - Updated: 1/3/2016 - Published: 8/7/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Librarian by spanglemaker9 reviews
Bella's found a creative way to use her degree, and it's going great. Until Eddie Masen crosses her desk.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,959 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 1,065 - Follows: 390 - Published: 10/27/2015 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dissonance by Mortissues reviews
I haven't so much made a success of myself as simply fallen through the cracks in my life and somehow landed buttered side up. I am toast. The fifty percent lucky slice that you rescue from your kitchen counter and shove in your mouth as you run out the door, breathless and late, to start your new day.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 95,318 - Reviews: 3459 - Favs: 1,305 - Follows: 1,426 - Updated: 9/24/2015 - Published: 10/5/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Artful Maneuvers by planetblue reviews
I needed to figure out who Edward Cullen was before he figured out me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 85,825 - Reviews: 6380 - Favs: 3,140 - Follows: 2,285 - Updated: 11/21/2014 - Published: 9/15/2014 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Liquor, Lube, and Latex by Livie79 reviews
It's his birthday and I'm giving him the one thing he really wants. AH ExB M for Smut. Smut, smut, smut.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,203 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 1,417 - Follows: 1,016 - Updated: 11/4/2014 - Published: 3/7/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Revolution by knicnort3 reviews
Vampires have taken over and hunted humans to near extinction. A small colony of surviving humans led by Charlie Swan has built a new life for themselves. When Bella's brother Emmett disappears, she enlists the help of imprisoned vampire Edward to find him(AU)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 50 - Words: 184,066 - Reviews: 2702 - Favs: 1,622 - Follows: 1,255 - Updated: 2/18/2014 - Published: 11/2/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Truth According to Tumblr by nikkipattinson reviews
I was completely addicted to his blog. I woke to it every morning and went to bed with it every night. He was the man of my fantasies and then I asked him a mundane question…. BxE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,640 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 163 - Published: 10/23/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Good In The Stacks by Dirty Talkin' Edward contest reviews
Six-foot-two, disheveled hair, and screen-printed t-shirt likely wouldn't be most people's idea of a sexy librarian fantasy. Their loss. Entry for the Dirty Talkin' Edward Twific Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,759 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 1,182 - Follows: 377 - Published: 8/9/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Conventioneers by Catastrophia reviews
Innocent event coordinator Bella has her sanity challenged when the adult toy show comes to town. How will she cope with a world she's never seen and a man who's very comfortable in it? Rated M for lang and lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,507 - Reviews: 1080 - Favs: 1,448 - Follows: 2,112 - Updated: 7/8/2013 - Published: 1/18/2012 - Bella, Edward
Air by Rochelle Allison reviews
Edward and Bella meet at a summer barbeque. A story about - what else - falling for someone, hard. Once a WitFit.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 32,233 - Reviews: 3706 - Favs: 3,798 - Follows: 1,634 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
And Yet They Shine by Chicklette reviews
Isabella Swan is an ordinary girl, caught up in an extraordinary world. What if the Cullens weren't vampires? What if they were gods instead?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 25 - Words: 31,765 - Reviews: 820 - Favs: 1,029 - Follows: 754 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mesmerising Stranger by xxsezaxx reviews
Dimitri Belikov wants to leave his bad history with women behind, so a business cruise should do the trick. Two complications - a sexy woman and a dead body - are both on board. Rose Hathaway knows his type - arrogant corporate hotshot. No problem,she'll have him eating out of her hand. Until a killer forces her to find safety and comfort in his arms. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 18 - Words: 56,118 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 10/11/2012 - Dimitri B., Rose H. - Complete
The Affair by johnnyboy7 reviews
After the death of her father, Isabella Swan moves to the East coast where she meets dentist Edward Cullen. He's older, a father, and married. Sometimes, you can't tell your heart who to love.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 83,525 - Reviews: 5016 - Favs: 3,348 - Follows: 3,062 - Updated: 2/27/2013 - Published: 7/21/2012 - Bella, Edward
Not Your Type by MissWinkles reviews
What on earth could a grumpy, hipster hating Edward have in common with an ink-covered, sarcastic Bella? A late-Christmas present one shot turned ficlette. Short chapters. Fluffy. Silly. Really, what else would you expect?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,783 - Reviews: 579 - Favs: 532 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 12/30/2012 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Edward, Bella
Business Casual by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
The lines between boss and employee, human and immortal, hero and damsel, coworker and lover, and right and wrong are about to become very blurry for Edward and Bella. Comedy/Romance/Drama
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,839 - Reviews: 2811 - Favs: 2,637 - Follows: 1,771 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 11/13/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Written in the Stars by Lissa Bryan reviews
Edward is king of a dying race, his planet torn by civil war. Bella is abducted to become his bride. From college student to Queen... Can she learn to love this strange man and help save his people? AU/OOC, Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 33 - Words: 167,029 - Reviews: 8121 - Favs: 10,580 - Follows: 4,102 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Like Crazy by willyoupleasebequiet reviews
They say that there are three certainties in life: birth, death & taxes. A fourth certainty in Edward & Bella's life is their friendship...okay, five if you include Edward's fixation on seeing her boobs. Inspired by WhatsMyNomDePlume's "Best I Ever Had"
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 76,189 - Reviews: 1121 - Favs: 1,998 - Follows: 908 - Updated: 5/18/2012 - Published: 1/27/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Lack of Color by coldplaywhore reviews
He paints; she inspires. Together they are whole, until one day they are separated, breaking him of his soul. Five years later, she's not his. Can she be again? ExB AU AH M for language and lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 98,320 - Reviews: 2147 - Favs: 1,123 - Follows: 836 - Updated: 4/25/2012 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Good Deal by m7707 reviews
Bella Swan hates Rosalie Hale. Her idea of revenge? Sleeping with the Ice Queen's boyfriend, Edward Cullen. AH, very OOC, very rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,978 - Reviews: 2048 - Favs: 3,572 - Follows: 1,674 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11743 - Favs: 9,971 - Follows: 6,752 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Art Teacher by spanglemaker9 reviews
He gave me art and words and passion and life, but all I wanted was him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 97,635 - Reviews: 7337 - Favs: 5,701 - Follows: 3,409 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Perfect Mr Imperfect by xrxdanixrx reviews
Bella wanted Mr. Perfect, but he didn't want her. When Mr. Imperfect comes along, can she look close enough to see just who is more perfect for her? A story about falling in love with the imperfections. AH - Rated M for lemons later.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 165,467 - Reviews: 6211 - Favs: 4,203 - Follows: 2,492 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Art School Confidential by farkle reviews
Bella finds her artistic muse and total embarrassment in person of life model Edward. How can she get him to model for her when he thinks she is a sex-crazed flake? AU-AH, M for nudity, language, lemons. Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 139,995 - Reviews: 4318 - Favs: 4,247 - Follows: 4,742 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ladder to the Sun by Rosybud reviews
How can you die when you've never really lived? That's the problem Bella Swan faces when she's told she only has a year to live. Can she make up for a lonely, unhappy life in the short time she has left... and maybe find love too? All-human, EXB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 111,847 - Reviews: 2685 - Favs: 4,412 - Follows: 1,778 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Put a Ring On It by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Edward keeps asking and Bella keeps saying the same thing. But he loves asking and well... she's starting to kind of like it, too. AH, B/E O/s for the Will You Marry Me contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 1,391 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Awake in the Infinite Cold by quothme reviews
Sometimes the fruit is forbidden for a reason. A mélange of Twilight and How to Be, with an Artward who so carefully and so softly sneaks under her skin and into her soul. Not your typical E/B romance. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 78,819 - Reviews: 3180 - Favs: 3,018 - Follows: 1,258 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
So Be It by SophiaAnne reviews
Happy Harry is here again, live and streaming right into where you live. Are you ready for me?” Will Bella Swan find out who's behind the sexy voice that has her all hot and bothered? BxE - AU/AH, OOC, Lemons and Language. Now revised and expanded.
Crossover - Pump Up The Volume & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,484 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 1,004 - Follows: 432 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Bella - Complete