Arty Bookworm
 Hey all! I am new to fanfiction and I Love writing!!!! I find writing as a really good way to vent my feelings. I LOVE READING! It is awesome. I'm into my music; pop, R&b... that kind of stuff. I've been reading fanfics for awhile and I've had thousands of ideas for stories so here I am writing my own. I should warn you though I update slowly. In my defence I go to a school that finishes late and hands out way to much homework. My profile is ridiculously long by the way. :) A bit about myself: Name: I'm not telling, so just call me Arty Bookworm. Age: Its impolite to ask a lady her age. Gender: Female Favourite colour: Bluuuue!! Favourite food: Sherbet sticks (they are loooovely!!) Favourite drink: Coke (I have a very unsophisticated palate, I know) Favourite film: My sisters keeper ( I found this deeply touching) Favourite book: Harry Potter of course!!!! Favourite song: at the moment Set Fire to the Rain by Adele (I LOVE HER!) My favourite HP pairings are: Hermione and Draco (so cute!!) Harry and Ginny Tom Riddle Jr and Hermione Luna and Blaise Lilly and James Anyways I hope you enjoy my stories but I DO NOT tolerate lemons. Arty Bookworm xx In Remembrance: In Remembrance to Severus Snape, A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor, In Remembrance to Fred Weasley, Who fought bravely to the very end, And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half, And will loyally await his soul mate and brother, With many jokes, He's got forever to think of them, right? In Remembrance to Dobby, Who was more free and full of love, Than any elf, and most humans. In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin, The last real Marauder, Who was not just a wonderful father, An incredible husband and a brave hero, As well as an awesome warewolf, In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks, Who died for the greater good, And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora, In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody, Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive, In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort, Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger, But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end, In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore, Whose past and wisdom confused us, Whose seeming betrayal shocked us, But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end, In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange, Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra, She deserved everything she got in the end, In Remembrance to Colin Creevey, Who we really didn't know too well, But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war, So he must've done something good... Besides stalking Harry, In Remembrance to Hedwig, Harry's first real friend, Who lived and died soaring. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 19)I cannot lock Gryffindors and Slytherins in a room and make bets on who will come out alive. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 30) I will not tell a ghost to “get a life.” 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not use Harry Potter Pick up lines on all of the students 38) I will not charm Snape to sing songs all day. 39) I will not charm shampoo to bounce off Snapes head until he washes his hair. 40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 42) I will not lick Trevor. 43) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 44) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 45) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 46) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 47) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 48) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. 49) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. 50) I will not tell anyone that I heard my sister sying the following to a group of friends: " ...and I was like Avada Kedavra... and he was like dead". 51) When a dark mark appears above Hogwarts I will not yell "To the bat mobile!". ANNOYING THINGS TO DO IN AN ELAVATOR! (there hilarious!) 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." -If you have ever tripped over nothing, copy this onto your profile -If you wish to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, copy this onto your profile!! -If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this onto your profile -If you absolutely LOVED Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this onto your profile. -If you have ever ran into a door, copy this onto your profile -If you have ever talked to yourself, copy this onto your profile -If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you dont remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this onto your profile -If you love rain, copy this onto your profile -If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. -If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, copy this into your profile. -If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. -Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF! -If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile. -If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. -If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile. -If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile . -If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. -If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull (or Vice Versa) copy this into your profile. If you say Harry Potter spells like "Accio!" out loud, and a part of you thinks they might actually work. If someone tells you "don't look now", but you do anyway. If you hate waking up from a good dream and it won't come back. If your headphones are ALWAYS tangled. If you call people "Slytherins", mentally sort people into Houses, or otherwise constantly make Harry Potter references. If slow computers drive you CRAZY. If you love laughing until it hurts and you can't breathe. If you can't stand to hear your own voice in videos or recordings. If you pull out your phone and pretend to text in awkward situations. If you check behind the shower curtain for murderers before getting in. If you stand in the shower for ages because the hot water feels soooo good. If you really wish you could record your dreams and watch them later. If you don't consider people who have only seen the movies to be "real" Harry Potter fans. If you wish music played during epic moments in your life, like in movies. If you hate getting out of the shower and it's FREEZING. If you walk a little faster when you see a creepy van. If you hate how the best part of your dream is always right about to happen when you wake up. If you and your best friend can say one word and almost die from laughing hysterically. If you have to try SO hard not to laugh when you're getting scolded. If you stop the microwave before it hits 0:00 to avoid hearing the loud BEEPs. If you know because everyone's house has a different smell that yours must have one. But you still can't smell it! If you have to say the entire alphabet out loud because you can't remember what letter comes next. If you hate it when you think of a really good comeback after the argument. If you love it when teachers get off track and tell you stories about their life. If you mentally say "Wed-nes-day" when writing the word "Wednesday". If you want to STRANGLE that kid who reminds the teacher about homework and quizzes. If whenever someone says 'I like your shirt', you look down to see what you're wearing. If you look down at your cell phone when you're walking past someone you want to avoid. If you hate when teachers say "From all the talking, I assume everyone is done." If you have dropped your phone on your face while laying down texting. If once you turn off all the lights in the basement you run the heck out of there. I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. HARRY POTTER FAN? You know you have never read too much Harry Potter. You can pronounce ‘Hermione.’ But say it like Viktor Krum for laughs. “Herm-o-ninny!” You have referred to those less than you as ‘Muggles.’ You really wish Avada Kedavra worked… You would love some Veritaserum. You know who each of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors were and what happened to each of them from Book One all the way to Book Seven. You want an owl… You have no problems calling the Dark Lord ‘Voldemort,’ ‘Voldey,’ or any other name, for he has many. Speaking of the Dark Lord, you really think he got it on with Bellatrix Lestrange, and he’s the main reason she is such a nut job. Your parents, friends and family members think you are slightly nuts when it comes to Potter…but they love you anyway. You want more than seven books, including, but not limited to: a prequel (preferably seven books based on the time of the Marauders and Severus Snape), a Potter encyclopedia and your own 1,000 page version of Hogwarts a History. You automatically whack someone who says anything negative about Potter. You have read/written/reviewed Harry Potter fanfiction of some kind and have a deep, infested opinion about it. You really enjoy reminding all those Twilighters about the fact that Edward Cullen is being played by Cedric Diggory and that the WB changed the Half-Blood Prince’s release date, the first time, as to not insult Rowling’s work being released at the same time with Meyer. You own/want/will buy one of the replicas of Voldemort’s horcruxes from the Noble Collection. You were really sad that on your 11th Birthday you received no letter from Hogwarts…however, many years later you still have hope. You totally saw it coming – Dumbledore is gay! Awesome! Helena Bonham-Carter makes you love Bellatrix Lestrange more.She.is.perfect.for.the.role. You had severe Post-Potter Depression after the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. You wish someone could love you the way Severus loved Lily. You want/tried to write with a quill just to see how it would go. You saw what happened to Fred Weasley in the Deathly Hallows and you considered writing a letter on his behalf to JKR – “Dear J.K. Rowling, WTF?, Fred. xx” You know you have never seen too much Harry Potter. Anyway, that is the end of my profile. I hope you enjoy my stories!! (even if I update them really slowly!) Arty Bookworm xxxx |
