Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If
They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It
"In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once
Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For
Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With
The Prophecy."
8 . Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,
with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't
Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't
Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling
Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!,
I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're
Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The
Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
Insanity... Its Called ... therapy

My favorite song quotes: (they aren't funny)

1. You are not useless, we are just misguided ghosts, traveling endlessly. The ones we trusted the most... pushed us far away. (Misguided ghosts, Paramore)
2. I wanna know what it'd be like... to find perfection in my pride, to see nothing in the light... or turn it off in all my spite. (Turn it off, Paramore)
3. Keep your feet on the ground when your head's in the clouds. (Brick by boring brick, Paramore)
4. We have built up a world of magic, because your real life is tragic. (Brick by boring brick, Paramore)
5. If it's true, you can see it with your eyes, even in the dark. (Brick by boring brick, Paramore)
6. Sometimes I get so weird, I even freak myself out.(Anything but Ordinary, Avril Lavigne)
7. I hate when they go out, and we stay in, and they come home smellin like their ex-girlfriends! (The Best Damn Thing, Avril Lavigne)
8. You think I can't see what kind of man that you are... if you're a man at all! (Decode, Paramore)
9. Do you see what we've done? We're gonna make such fools of ourselves!(Decode, Paramore)
10. I don't really care what you think of me, either way you're gonna think what you believe. (I Can do Better, Avril Lavigne)

Yup, I'm at total music nut.

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is Sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made my daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up all the day longWhen I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark; my folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight
Don't make a sound! I just heard a car
My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse; my name he calls
I press myself against the wall.
I try and hide from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now; I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping he shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault that he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more,
I finally get free and I run for the door.
He's already locked it and I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues with more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream... but its now much too late
His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain again and again
Oh, please God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end!
And he finally stops and heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless; sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah and I am but three,
Tonight my daddy, murdered me.

I'm here until thursday, so gimme a candy bar while you still can!

-My friend Kristen