I am a huge fan of kung fu panda and Dr. horribles sing along blog (If you have netflix, you should watch it it is hilarious.) and Pirates of the Caribbean (Not to be confused with Pirates of Penzence witch I hate) . I am a good author and have a couple of my own books published. I love vampires (not the twilight shit i mean real vampires like Dracula). My new favorite movie is dracula: dead and loving it.

I am back! I officially hate breaks from school, blah blah, anyway, now that these breaks come with bad luck, I have figured out that the hospital has wifi and I write better when I'm pissed.

.••) .•) .•.•) .•)
(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has SURVIVED, DIED, or IS LIVING with cancer.

My great aunt Nimi has breast cancer but, she's 94 so it doesn't look good

The 6 Funny Dating Questions to Ask…

1) What’s your favorite domestic animal? Give me three reasons why?

2) What’s your favorite wild animal? Give me three reasons why?

3) If you were deserted on a beach, give me three emotions you’d feel.

4) If you were in a forest, what are three emotions you’d feel?

5) If you were in a white room surrounded by people dressed in white, give me three emotions you’d feel.

6) What’s your favorite food? Give me three reasons why?

What’s the Meaning Behind These
Funny Dating Questions to Ask

And finally, what do her answers mean?

1) The reasons she gave for her favorite ‘domestic animal’ is how she thinks other people see her.

2) The reasons she gave for her favorite ‘wild animal’ is how she sees herself.

3) The emotions she gave for how she’d feel on a deserted beach are her current views on life.

4) The emotions she gave for how she’d feel in a forest are her views on death.

5) The emotions she gave for how she’d feel in a white room are her views on marriage.

6) And the three reasons for why she likes her favorite food are her views on sex.

1
121
12321
1234321
123454321
12345654321
1234567654321
123456787654321

8
878
87678
8765678
876545678
87654345678
8765432345678
876543212345678

guess the song

Timon: and if he falls in love tonight

it can be assumed

pumba: his everyday's with us are history

both: in short our pal, is doomed!

links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hhn9vdHgIHk&feature=BFa&list=SP1C90BDF46E6EACFD&lf=list_related (trick or treat or die)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1glNuQiE77E&feature=autoplay&list=SP1C90BDF46E6EACFD&lf=list_related&playnext=1 (twilight sucks emo vampire song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4ELAbUQhCI&feature=autoplay&list=SP1C90BDF46E6EACFD&lf=list_related&playnext=2 (Crybaby)

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/782399/tiavalerie (My fiction press profile)

(The coolest Halloween decor ever!)

(I did this on my bro's computer sorry, anyway, let's just say, Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you're using as an excuse to get drunk this year!)

(The funniest children's book ever; Go the f* to sleep read by Samuel Jackson)

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=230148887054486 (Bidi Bom song from me and Ihate's choir concert)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug (seasons of love from rent)

(My favorite LoA episode so far)

Fanfic status:

Jade gem (redo): miss the original but it's done

Penny's ghost: not going so well

A long winter: sucks but done

Fluttering Finger Mindslip with Xue: working on it

Shulie and Jin: Done

Spongebob skit: Done

Sha Si: Going well so far

Forbidden Friendship: still working on spelling forbidden without a spell check. story going well when I'm at Ihatethesystem's house.

about me:

gender: Female

age: 14

email: screw@you.suck

name: look at my pen name its kinda obvious...

favorites:

animals: guinea pigs, dogs that don't belong to my older sister, cats, and my older brother.

Movies: kung fu panda, Dr horribles sing along blog, all Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

characters: Tigress, Po, Captain Hammer, Dr horrible, un-dead monkey, Tia Dalma, Jack Sparrow, Gibbs, Blackbeard, Davy Jones.

books: Just Grace, To kill a mocking bird, The great gilly hopkins, forged by fire.

subjects: Math, creative writing, drama, choir.

shows: Invader zim, Sponge bob, The haunted, It's me or the dog.

plays: Into the Woods, Honk Jr., school House Rock Live Jr., Wizard of Oz Live.

Quotes: "I... don't... know"-Gir to Zim. "Every one's a hero in their own way. You and you and mostly me and you!"-captain hammer to the homeless. "I will do my best to try and get this!"-George Lopez. "I can only be one kind of creative at a time"-Warren Harris (My older brother). "Oh what a crazy random happenstance."-Billy to Penny. "It's a brand new day, yeah the sun is high, all the angels sing because your gonna die!"-Dr horrible to Captain Hammer. "was elected to lead not to read."-Arnold schwarzenegger the simpsons movie "I can't make it! yes you can! No I can't! Oh shut up! You shut up! No you! No you! Oh real mature.! Oh how could you say that!"-Homer Simpson the simpsons movie "No wonder the infidels are beating the terrorists your weapons make ours look like slingshots. especially our slingshots..."-Achmed the dead terrorist "It's the end of the world. yay"-achmed the dead terrorist. "You never know what lies ahead for all that I know, she's already dead!"-Little Red Riding-hood singing about her grandmother into the woods. "you can talk to birds?"-little red riding hood to Cinderella into the woods. "You're grounded go to your boyfriends house!"-Todd from the key of awesome. "How many times do I have to kill the same stinking panda?"-Lord Shen Kung Fu Panda 2, "Alright folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world! Patrick, and this big peanut guy! It's a little bit called WAITOR!"-Spongebob
Jack Sparrow: [holds up jar of dirt] Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
[falls down stairs, holds up jar again]
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: [sing-song] I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

songs: My eyes- neil patrick harris and felicia day from Dr Horrible's sing along blog sound track. Surfing bird- unknown artist. You make my dreams- daryl hall and john oates. Ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny- Albinoblacksheep Bad horse chorus-jed, joss and zack whedon dr horribles sing along blog, brand new day-neil patrick harris dr horribles sing along blog, Beiber fever- the key of awesome. Firework-Katie Perry. Cowboy Take Me Away-Dixie Chicks. Traveling Soldier-Dixie Chicks. Upside Down-Jack Johnson. You And Your Heart-Jack Johnson. Pictures of people taking pictures-Jack Johnson, Trick or Treat or Die-the key of awesome, Spider pig-Homer Simpson sleep on you-the key of awesome, all key of awesome songs:P Goofy Goober theme song- Spongebob movie, Now That we're men- Spongebob and patrick, Best day ever-Spongebob, Goofy Goober Rock- Spongebob.

characters on fanfiction that if you use without asking me you will die just kidding but you still better ask

Xue:
age:13
protector of the Jade Gem and Tigress's daughter.

Bidi
age: 40
Xue's dad.

Ari
age: 12
Xue's friend

Shulian (Shulie)
age: 34
One of Shifu's students thought to have been killed by a fire started by Bidi

Jingren (Jin)
age: 24
One of Shifu's old students that left

My characters off of fanfiction in my published, in-progress, and soon to be published books:

characters from Vampire Blood:

Gabriel:
age: stopped counting at 6 centuries
Leader of a vampire clan just outside the town Mount Vernon in the year 1918

Diyu:
age: 14
half mortal and half vampire, who didn't know of her origins until her fathers "slave" came to get her in 1918

Ar:
age: 15
a "slave" to a vampire clan just outside Mount Vernon in the year 1918

Alex:
age: unknown
A prisoner in a vampire prison that has a way out

Tiara:
age: 12
a prisoner in a vampire prison

Desmond:
age: a few weeks
Diyu's son

Characters from Love Lost Family:

Naomi (Nimi) Erickson
age: 96
the leader of the Harris/Dai/Grieve/Erickson/Bell family

Madeline (Mad or Maddie) Dai
age: 15
a simple teenage girl with small hopes and dreams and a big family

William (Will) Harris
age: 58
a talented artist

Sandy Harris
age: 57
Wills wife

Charles (Chuck) Harris
age: 56
a hard working man

Catherine (Cath) Bell
age: 60
A kind woman

Kadi Grieve
age: 12
a talented kid with good grades

Gabriel (Gabe) Dai
age: 14
Mad's brother

Nicholas (Nick) Grieve
age: 8
Kadi's little brother

Valerie (Val) Harris
age: 14
a thriving author and Chuck's youngest daughter

Suzie Bell-Grieve
age: unknown
Kadi and Nick's mom and Cath's youngest daughter

Crissy Dai-Bell
age: unknown
Mad and Gabes mom and Cath's oldest daughter

Lindsay Harris
age: 29
Will and Sandy's daughter

Warren Harris
age: 29
Chucks son

Melinda Cortez
age: 27
Chucks oldest daughter

Antonio (Tony) Cortez
age: 26
Melinda's husbeen

Charles (Chuckie) Cortez
age: 11 months
Melinda and Tony's son

Characters from The Family:

Kiku Walker:
age: 9
a girl with two brothers, two parents, and an odd life

Characters from Day's o' Pepper Teach:

Pepper Teach:
age: 15
The youngest Pirate captain in history

Blackbeard/Edward Teach:
age: 44
Do I really need to explain this character?

Luke Teach:
age: 16
Constantly competing with his little sister for many things

Ali Teach:
age: 17
After living on a deserted island, one of her sisters brings her to Carolina

Scarlet Teach:
age: 5
Moved to an orphanage after her dad held her for ransom at the age of 4

Kipling Teach:
age: 11
I have yet to come up with his back story

Valerie Teach: (*wink wink*)
age: 13
Left her dads pirate ship to work as a servant for the Governor of Port Royal

Jean Teach:
age: 12
After Blackbeard killed her mother, Jean ran off the Carolina settlement and into the woods

Gerry Teach:
age: 2
As soon as he was born, his mother made Blackbeard go to port, and left

Charles Teach:
age: 12
I'll come up with the rest later

Soon to come...

Something about Blackbeard idea from Pepper Redskull

“Storm”

Inner North London, top floor flat
All white walls, white carpet, white cat,
Rice Paper partitions
Modern art and ambition
The host’s a physician,
Lovely bloke, has his own practice
His girlfriend’s an actress
An old mate from home
And they’re always great fun.
So to dinner we’ve come.

The fifth guest is an unknown,
The hosts have just thrown
Us together for a favor
because this girl’s just arrived from Australia
And has moved to North London
And she’s the sister of someone
Or has some connection.

As we make introductions
I’m struck by her beauty
She’s irrefutably fair
With dark eyes and dark hair
But as she sits
I admit I’m a little bit wary
because I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy
Tattooed on that popular area
Just above the derrière
And when she says “I’m Sagittarian”
I confess a pigeonhole starts to form
And is immediately filled with pigeon
When she says her name is Storm.

Chatter is initially bright and light-hearted
But it’s not long before Storm gets started:
“You can’t know anything,
Knowledge is merely opinion”
She opines, over her Cabernet Sauvignon
Vis-à-vis,
Some un-hippily
Empirical comment by me

“Not a good start” I think
We’re only on pre-dinner drinks
And across the room, my wife
Widens her eyes
Silently begs me, Be Nice
A matrimonial warning
Not worth ignoring
So I resist the urge to ask Storm
Whether knowledge is so loose-weave
Of a morning
When deciding whether to leave
Her apartment by the front door
Or a window on the second floor.

The food is delicious and Storm,
Whilst avoiding all meat
Happily sits and eats
While the good doctor, slightly pissedly
Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history
When Storm suddenly she insists
“But the human body is a mystery!
Science just falls in a hole
When it tries to explain the the nature of the soul.”

My hostess throws me a glance
She, like my wife, knows there’s a chance
That I’ll be off on one of my rants
But my lips are sealed.
I just want to enjoy my meal
And although Storm is starting to get my goat
I have no intention of rocking the boat,
Although it’s becoming a bit of a wrestle
Because -- like her meteorological namesake -
Storm has no such concerns for our vessel:

“Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy
They promote drug dependency
At the cost of the natural remedies
That are all our bodies need
They are immoral and driven by greed.
Why take drugs
When herbs can solve it?
Why use chemicals
When homeopathic solvents
Can resolve it?
It’s time we all return-to-live
With natural medical alternatives.”

And try as hard as I like,
A small crack appears
In my diplomacy-dike.
“By definition”, I begin
“Alternative Medicine”, I continue
“Has either not been proved to work,
Or been proved not to work.
You know what they call “alternative medicine”
That’s been proved to work?
Medicine.”

“So you don’t believe
In ANY Natural remedies?”

“On the contrary actually:
Before we came to tea,
I took a natural remedy
Derived from the bark of a willow tree
A painkiller that’s virtually side-effect free
It’s got a weird name,
Darling, what was it again?
Masprin?
Basprin?
Asprin!
Which I paid about a buck for
Down at my local drugstore.

The debate briefly abates
As our hosts collects plates
but as they return with desserts
Storm pertly asserts,

“Shakespeare said it first:
There are more things in heaven and earth
Than exist in your philosophy…
Science is just how we’re trained to look at reality,
It can’t explain love or spirituality.
How does science explain psychics?
Auras; the afterlife; the power of prayer?”

I’m becoming aware
That I’m staring,
I’m like a rabbit suddenly trapped
In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap.
Maybe it’s the Hamlet she just mis-quothed
Or the eighth glass of wine I just quaffed
But my diplomacy dike groans
And the arsehole held back by its stones
Can be held back no more:

“Look , Storm, I don’t mean to bore you
But there’s no such thing as an aura!
Reading Auras is like reading minds
Or star-signs or tea-leaves or meridian lines
These people aren’t plying a skill,
They are either lying or mentally ill.
Same goes for those who claim to hear God’s demands
And Spiritual healers who think they have magic hands.

By the way,
Why is it OK
For people to pretend they can talk to the dead?
Is it not totally fucked in the head
Lying to some crying woman whose child has died
And telling her you’re in touch with the other side?
That’s just fundamentally sick
Do we need to clarify that there’s no such thing as a psychic?
What, are we fucking 2?
Do we actually think that Horton Heard a Who?
Do we still think that Santa brings us gifts?
That Michael Jackson hasn’t had facelifts?
Are we still so stunned by circus tricks
That we think that the dead would
Wanna talk to pricks
Like John Edward?

Storm to her credit despite my derision
Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision
Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition

“You’re so sure of your position
But you’re just closed-minded
I think you’ll find
Your faith in Science and Tests
Is just as blind
As the faith of any fundamentalist”

“Hm that’s a good point, let me think for a bit
Oh wait, my mistake, it’s absolute bullshit.
Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved.
If you show me
That, say, homeopathy works,
Then I will change my mind
I’ll spin on a fucking dime
I’ll be embarrassed as hell,
But I will run through the streets yelling
It’s a miracle! Take physics and bin it!
Water has memory!
And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is Infinite
It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it!

You show me that it works and how it works
And when I’ve recovered from the shock
I will take a compass and carve Fancy That on the side of my cock.”

Everyone’s just staring at me now,
But I’m pretty pissed and I’ve dug this far down,
So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound:

“Life is full of mysteries, yeah,
But there are answers out there
And they won’t be found
By people sitting around
Looking serious
And saying isn’t life mysterious?
Let’s sit here and hope
Let’s call up the fucking Pope
Let’s go watch Oprah
Interview Deepak Chopra

If you’re going to watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo.
That show was so cool
because every time there’s a church with a ghoul
Or a ghost in a school
They looked beneath the mask and what was inside?
The fucking janitor or the dude who runs the water-slide.
Throughout history
Every mystery
EVER solved has turned out to be
Not Magic.

Does the idea that there might be truth
Frighten you?
Does the idea that one afternoon
On Wiki-fucking-pedia might enlighten you
Frighten you?
Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural
So blow your hippy noodle
That you would rather just stand in the fog
Of your inability to Google?

Isn’t this enough?
Just this world?
Just this beautiful, complex
Wonderfully unfathomable world?
How does it so fail to hold our attention
That we have to diminish it with the invention
Of cheap, man-made Myths and Monsters?
If you’re so into Shakespeare
Lend me your ear:
“To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw perfume on the violet… is just fucking silly”
Or something like that.
Or what about Satchmo?!
I see trees of Green,
Red roses too,
And fine, if you wish to
Glorify Krishna and Vishnu
In a post-colonial, condescending
Bottled-up and labeled kind of way
That’s ok.
But here’s what gives me a hard-on:
I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant lump of carbon.
I have one life, and it is short
And unimportant…
But thanks to recent scientific advances
I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncles and auntses.
Twice as long to live this life of mine
Twice as long to love this wife of mine
Twice as many years of friends and wine
Of sharing curries and getting shitty
With good-looking hippies
With fairies on their spines
And butterflies on their titties.

And if perchance I have offended
Think but this and all is mended:
We’d as well be 10 minutes back in time,
For all the chance you’ll change your mind.

copy and past

If you know evey single word that Master Tigress said in kung fu panda copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you HATE HATE HATE HATE child abuse copy this into your profile!

If you, like me, are totally obsessed with big cats, copy this into your profile!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

--98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

--If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

--98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

--If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

--If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

--If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit some freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were 11, copy and paste this to your profile.

--If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you are always listening your Ipod , copy & paste this to your profile!

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you watched the same movie every day when you were little, copy this to your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes post this on your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this to your profile.

If you love to read, Copy and paste into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you love Cap'n Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you wasted your childhood watching Pokemon, copy and paste this to your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 13. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't...

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pendantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I'm DYSLEXIC, so I MUST be stupid.

Joke that My friend Graham Kerr told me:

knock knock*
Old Lady:(Answers the door) Hello?
Man: I've been hired to send you a musical telegram
Old lady: I've never got one of those before!
Man:(Sings in a happy tone) Your sister Rose is dead!

OK just out of curiosity, why is it every time someone sees me smile they give me a smirk & ask what I am up to ??

Oooooh Jeff-fa-fa Oh Jeff-fa-fa Without me you would suck-ka-ka

I seem to have misplaced my insanity. Crap, now people are gonna think I'm normal!

Just a note: You can't pop popcorn in a dryer.

Pinocchio-lies all the time,Tarzan-lives half naked, Cinderella-came home at 12:00 pm, and Snow White lives with seven men, NO not a bad influence at all!

guy:"i wasn't that drunk!"
friend: "dude, you picked up my parakeet and chucked it at my dog yelling "ANGRY BIRDS!"

Okay there are 10 fish in a tank but 7 drown how many are left ... 90% of people would say 3 ... Just to remind you FISH CANT DROWN !!

I just spent 10 minutes going through her closet screaming "WHERE THE HELL IS NARNIA"

Every time you buy a pineapple, another one of Spongebob's relatives is homeless...

When I'm on my death bed I want my last words to be "I left one million dollars in the..."