Rah!! I am Kitteh!!! Fear me and my fangirlishness!!!

Erm... My shippings...

Ace Attorney:

Phoenix x Maya (Death to Feenris!!!)

Maggey x Gumshoe

Jean x Iris (crack at it's finest)

Miego

Yu-Gi-Oh:

Thiefshipping (MarikxBakura)

Puppyshipping (SetoxJoey)

Deathshipping (Melvin/Yami MarikxRyou) Non-violent only! I can't stand to see Ryou suffer...

Psychoshipping (Melvin/Yami MarikxBakura)

Puzzleshipping (YamixYugi)

Citronshipping (TK BakuraxMarik) sometimes...

Kiddieshipping (MokubaxRebecca)

Probably a bunch more, just can't be bothered...

Hetalia:

(I'm mostly undecided on these pairings, will add more when I'm sure...)

USUK

PoLiet

GerIta

RoChu

Random Clutter...

If you can read this, thank a teacher... and copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've lost track of how many "copy and paste" thingies you have, or you have this feeling that you've copy and pasted something twice, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're planning to start copying and pasting stuff like this into your profile because this looks cool in my profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that your are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy& Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, anime, show, manga, fanfic, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Uchiha-Aki-chou, MaybelleTheRAWRDragon, Chutneyispower (Damn right!), Dark Flame Pheonix (guilty as charged), XxXSand-Jounin-TemariXxX (What better way to spend your day?), Awaii, Luna2986(Done that 5-10 times XD)Kyoko Izumi, Anthurak The Chaos Lord (ALL HAIL FANDOM!), Inugo Kurosaki (Fanfiction.net RULES, IT KICKS ASS!!), SplitToInfinity (all hail fandom, indeed!) MyMusesSpeakToMe (Wait! Theres another way to spend all time OTHER than fanfiction?? 0.o), Princess Blaze the cat (I HAD NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!!) Knight the Cat (This is why I look Emo. No sleep.), FearDaKitteh (It helps me pass the time when it's 3am...)

If you support Captain Jack Sparrow and his Jar of Dirt, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.

If you wish you could just pop in and out of your favorite stories, changing the storyline as you go along to fit your own agenda, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who deserves to be hit by a car, copy this a paste it to your profile

I love chocolate, it's my medicine, if you are a chocoholic copy & paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have EVER been so obsessed with a song you actually A.) dream about it, B.) sing it in school no mattter who's listening OR C.) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy this in your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have these copy/paste thingies just to annoy people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming at the top of your lungs copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they can spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you thought whoever invented music is completely AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would walk 1,000 miles to see the person you love for 5 minutes, copy and paste this onto your profile. (if he did exist, he'd live way further away...)

If you hear the voices of people in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they can spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you thought whoever invented music is completely AWESOME, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of people in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you like to write, copy and paste this into your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even Langer

If you think that putting these things up on your profile is giving away information about you, put this in you're profile

If you are still a virgin, copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile. (a concrete pillar, actually... And I was running...)

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this into your profile.

99.5 of all teens would cry if Hannah Montana(Miley Cyrus) were on a 20 story building about to jump. The other 0.5 would bring a chair and popcorn. Copy and Paste if you're one of those 0.5 that would bring popcorn and a good chair screaming "JUMP!" the entire time.

╔══╗
║██║put this
║(o)║on ur page
╚══╝if u like music

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile

CATS ROCK MY SOCKS! If you think cats are awesome, copy this to your profile, and add your name to this list: Brambleclaw's Babe, Amber Sea, Mistwing, Emberflame of MoonClan, Skyeheart and Silverwing, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Liza Taylor, Hawksky, Knouge4Ever, Princess Blaze the cat, Knight the Cat, FearDaKitteh

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you have a mad fascination with the Japanese culture, copy and past this into your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

High School was a wannabe musical and was the worst Disney movie ever made. Disney did not learn from their mistake and not only did they create sequels, but also came up with Hannah Montanna and Camp Rock. If you think that Disney made a huge mistake by creating the High School Musical series, Hannah Montanna, and Camp Rock, copy and paste here.

If you would be absolutely horrified if High School Musical ended up on Broadway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you HATE High School Musical with a passion, and think those people have no real talent, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would rather die than have a High School Musical marathon, copy and paste.

If you would rather jump off a cliff rather than watch Hannah Montanna all day, copy and paste.

If all of a sudden the cast of High School came barging in your house and wanted to start a random party, you would stab yourself with a knife or whatever is sharp enough, copy and paste.

If you'll never understand why everyone loves High School Musical and thinks Zac Efron is hot, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Justin Beiber is a girl, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever want to be a cat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like waffles, copy and paste this into your profile.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide (LOL)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you scream out random things (Yarp, Blarg, foofoonana, Nyeh, etc.) copy and paste this into your profile.

95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP"

If you're sitting here laughing your head off at one of these "Copy&Paste" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you actually read this whole thing add one of these things, and copy and paste this to your profile

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON YOUTUBE FOR MORE THAN 5 HOURS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile

Not mine, found it somewhere...

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5.Do not go out in public.

6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? No.

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Yes

3) How many houses have you lived in? 2

4) Favorite candy bar? Urm... Bounty?

5) Favorite shoes?The ones that make me taller...

6) Have you ever tripped someone? yes, I was playing T-ball...

7) Least favorite school subject? Maths.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No.

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? No.

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Anime, Manga and Russia's laugh... Also France(in a bad way TT_TT)

12) Favorite genre of music? Rock, I guess... Or Rocky Horror Picture Show, that's a genre, right?

13) What is your zodiac sign? Virgo, i think...

14) What time were you born? 10AM

15) Do you like beer? Yes!

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Once...

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Maybe I have an old one somewhere

18) Are you sarcastic? Sometimes...

19) What are your favorite colors? Black, green, not gonna bother to list anymore...

20) How many watches do you own? A bunch, but none of them work...

21) Summer or winter? Winter.

23) Favorite color to wear? Black, almost anything as long as it's covered by my trench coat...

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite.

25) What color is your cell phone? Red...

26) Where is your second home? www.forums.court-records.net (same here Knight...)

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes.

28) Have you ever had a cavity? umm once, but never since and that tooth was a baby one...

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? One.

30) How many video games do you own? Loads...

31) What was your first pet? A pair of birds, i think...

32) Ever had braces? Nope.

33) Do looks matter? Not on me...

34) Do you use chapstick? Sometimes, only the stuff that tastes nice...

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. Scott, Zan, Basil

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? Huh?

37) Are you too forgiving? not too forgiving...

38) How many children do you want? Preferably none...

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Uhh... No.

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Uhh... Pancakes?

41) Do you own a gun? I'd love one of those~

42) Ever thought you were in love? ...

43) When was the last time you cried? Reading a Fanfic...

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Stayed up 'til 6am readin Fanfics...

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? Que?

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? erm... don't know...

47) Have you ever been in a castle? Not a real one...

48) Nicknames? Dunno...

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Nup

50) Ever been to Kentucky? Nup

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? No.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Russia...

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No?

55) Do you own a diamond ring? Nup

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Erm... Mostly...

57) Do you dye your hair? Purple

58) Does anyone like you? Dont think so...

59) What year were you born? 1997.

60) What were you doing in May of 1996? I Didn't exist...

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No.

62) McDonalds or Wendys? Neither

63) Do you like yourself? Kinda...

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? My mum?

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Erm... Dunno, it's more a mental thing for me (But they have to be cute)

66) Are you afraid of the dark? I love the dark! It's nice

67) Have you ever eaten paste? Don't think so...

68) Do you own a webcam? on my laptop...

69) Have you ever stripped? No. And I never will!

70) Ever broke a bone? No

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No. I use Gmail.

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles.

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I think so...

75) Rugrats or Doug? Whut?

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? " "

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? A who?

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? I don't think so...

79) Do you have a birth mark? Yeah, i hate them...

80) Do you own a car? No...

81) Can you cook? Yeah...

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. Latvia, the person, not the country...

2. Feenris shippers

3. Six-person pairings. I mean, ew. (I'm with ya!)

83) Do you text message often? No

84) Money or love? Dunno...

85) Do you have any scars? Yah...

86) What do you want more than anything right now? Erm... Three wishes, so I can wish for infinite wishes!

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Yes, they're my kind of comedy ^_^

88) Relationships or one night stands? Neither.

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Both! Together!

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Depends...

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? As far as I know, they're boring...

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Don't think so...

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mum.

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My brother

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? Whoever wrote this RoChu Fic...

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? Fanfiction

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? ...No comment...

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Erm, Sarah, I think...

100) Who was the last person that called you? Sarah...

Have you ever wondered:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin...

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

"Evil Beware; we have waffles."

There are three kinds of people:
those who make things happen;
those who watch things happen;
and those who don't know what the heck is happening."

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

“I know life is unfair, but could it at least be unfair in by favor?!”

“I’m not random I just have many thoughts.”

“I hear voices and they don’t like you.”

‘The earth is blue like an orange…”

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves

I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car

A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for you, they don’t laugh

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me

Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity

Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're an idiot

When in doubt we fight using fish!

"NAGGING! FIRE ONE!"

"The evening news always opens by them saying 'Good evening' and then precedes to tell you exactly why it isn't."

People are boring; they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

Duct tape is like the force. Dark on one side, light on the other, and it holds the universe together.

Last night I was looking up at the stars, when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.

It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth closed than to open it and prove it.

OMG! The rain is wet.

If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't!

I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ??

If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.

"I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Kol kol kol...