Quotes

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg