Hi, How are you? Never mind, you would not answer me anyway. Tut tut.

Favorite series are Percy Jackson and Harry Potter

Copy and paste this into your profile if your parents are still denying that they've hid your Hogwarts acceptance letter

I am Gryffindor.

Unlike MajicWriterK who likes Hufflepuff and another (who's account I forgot) that likes Slytherin (how dare she?).

PRODUCT LABEL FAILS!!!

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: (Printed on the bottom) "Don't turn upside down."

(Whoopsidaisies!)

On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

(Just let me grab my shoplifter friends real quick, they'll LOVE this special!)

On Mark and Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(No! Really? I never would have guessed!)

On packaging for Rowenta Iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But it saves time!)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(Okay, I'll be sure to tell my burly construction-worker toddler to tell their boss they'll be coming in late...wait what? What do you mean 'child labor laws'?)

On Nytol Sleeping Aid: "Warning, may cause drowsiness."

(Are you sure? I'm pretty sure a SLEPPING AID would make me hyped up and ready to move mountains!)

On a package of Christmas lights: "For indoor and outdoor use only."

(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use")

(And that would be...?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning, contains peanuts."

(NO!!!! I can't believe it!! Guys, c'mere!!! This can says Sainsbury's Peanuts, yet is has PEANUTS in it!)

On a bar of Dove soap: "Use like regular soap"

(Details would be appreciated.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits!"

(Well I sure am glad I'm not consuming FAKE articial bacon bits!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children."

(Uh, I think the translator needs to look this over...some very disturbing images are flashing through my brain...I think I'll sit down for a bit...)

On an American Airlines package of nuts: "Directions: Open package, eat nuts"."

(Ugh, this thing is SO complicated! Couldn't they give us more specfic instructions? Ms. Stewardess, I need some help over here!)

On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”.

(Okay, remind me to NEVER buy from this manufacturer. Unless I have a death wish.)

On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”.

(Aw, man! Is that why it won't turn on anymore? How else am I supposed to clean it, then?)

The Deep And Meaningful Questions In Life

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are apartments so close together?

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying on an airplane is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist smiling. :D

"MY DEFINITION OF HOMEWORK: H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K= HALF OF MY ENERGY WASTED ON RANDOM KNOWLEDGE. copy and paste this onto your profile if you think this is true!"

IDK what else 2 put

Enjoy books

Will never be scheduled chapters