Hey my name is Lauren. I live in Ireland and am Irish to the bone. I love reading and listening to music. My favourite authors are Cassandra Clare, Derek Landy, L.J.Smith, James Patterson, Lauren Kate, Jeffrey Deaver, JK Rowling, C.S.Lewis, Suzanne Collins and Anthony Horowitz. My favourite bands are the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, A7X, Skillet, Young Guns, Lostprophets, The Blackout and My Chemical Romance the last two I have alredy seen live and the two before that I have tickets to see. My favourite tv shows are NCIS, Criminal Minds, Doctor Who, Torchwood, CSI:New York and Bones. If you have a fanfic for any of the previous things then let me know. That’s all for now. Slan go foill, Lauren!

Ireland, the only place where "I will yeah" means "No!"

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Ignore this message. Hey, if you just read what I just typed, you were not ignoring it!

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

The word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and scream,"TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW!"

I sat back looking at the stars and began to think... where the hell is my roof..

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly...

I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework.

I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

My heart is not a playground

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the compliment.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'

My favorite word is sarcasm

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I hate it when people say: "When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice.

"It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it.

"Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life.

"Don't you wish you could have your cake and eat it too?" What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?

"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

Some may say the glass is half empty, some may say the glass is half full, but then I will forever say..."Are you going to drink that?"

Life? cool. Where can I download one?

Some day i'll take over the world but for now I'll make a sandwich..

If a kids asks "why is it raining?" I think it is cute to tell them "god is crying." If the child asks "why is god crying?" I also think it is cute to tell them "most likely because of something you did"

Apparently, my teachers are having a contest to see who could give out the most homework!!

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy daydreaming copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down, add this to your profile.

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

As I lie in my bed, I gaze at the stars . . . and wonder . . . WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?

Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.

What happens if you get scared half to death... Twice?

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Life is like a Pack of Gum... I've yet to figure out why

It takes 47 muscles to frown, and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face

My friends are the type of people who will spend hours trying to drown a fish.

Sarcasm is like my 2nd language

If I promise not to kill you, can I have a hug?

If today's the end of the world, don't worry, it's already tomorrow in Australia.

When it rains on your parade you gotta bust out the slip n' slide!!

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left.

Computers can beat you at chess, but they're no match for you at kick boxing.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist, if your even more terrified of the dentist now copy and paste this to your profile

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

if two wrongs dont make a right, try three!

whoever said nothing's impossible, they never tried slamming a revolving door!

apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from? (OMG!)

if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

About 93 of the female population would die if the Miley Cyrus decided to jump off a building. Post this on your page if you are the 7 that would yell "Jump Bitch!"

95 of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who brought popcorn and invited friends.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world!

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows. Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely!

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

║██║
║(o)║
╚══╝

Your Volume

Min- - - - - - - - - - -●Max

(¸.•´ (¸.•´~ Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer

╔╗╔═╦╗ put this on your page
║╚╣║║╚╗ if you love to laugh
╚═╩═╩═╝

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet and so are you

But the roses are wilting

The violets are dead

The sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

I see your face when I'm dreaming

That is why I ALWAYS wake up screaming

If your in love with someone you really dont want to be copy and paste this to your profile

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

GAUTENG:
When you rearrange the letters:
GET A GUN

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letter:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

GIRL COMEBACKS!!

Boy Girl"Where have you been all my life?"

"Running away from you."

"Are you an angel from heaven?"

"No, I'm a vampire from hell."

"Your place or mine?"

"Both, you go to yours, I go to mine."

"Your feisty, I like that."

"Your smelly, go away."

"My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats."

"My dad owns that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me."

"I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages."

"I have a high kick. And they love to land on..."

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

(I want to do some of these things REALLY badly!)

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

50 Things you're not allowed to do in Hogwarts.

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alivE

17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bees"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class sky clad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of its clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Fire whiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

and that was only some of them.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Most writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you do, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and it should be delt with, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy this onto your profile.

If you get a kick out of explostions, copy this onto your profile.

Are all of us just characters in a fanfic written by someone on a website?

For everyone, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For me, I just hope it's not a train.

You shouldn't say "I love you." unless you mean it. But if you do mean it, you should say it often... people forget.

Only two things are infinite:1) The universe. 2) Human stupidity. I'm not so sure about the universe

There are few problems that can not be solved with large ammounts of explosives.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence you tried.

A good girl is a bad girl who’s never gotten caught

When the fires came
The smell of cinders and rain
Perfumed almost everything...
We laughed, and laughed, and laughed

Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world,
are the ones who do.

My favourite quotes

Irish by birth Munster by grace of god

Even if you shoot for the moon and miss,
You’ll still land among the stars.

Take nothing but photos,
Leave nothing but footsteps,
Kill nothing but time.

The jump is final,
The grief is never ending.

The best stories are those still untold.

When I die I wanna go peacefully like my grandfather,
Not the screaming passengers in the back of his car.

Theres always a light at the end of the tunnel,
Just pray its not a train.

The stories we remember are the ones that leave us second guessing.

At the end of every rainbow theres a pot of gold,
Just watch out for angry leprechauns.

With every star comes a wish for hope
And a prayer that its not too late

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

A poem I wrote that means alot to me

When at first I told them
They said I was too young to know
But I wasn’t too young

When I told them again
They said they didn’t believe me
But there was no need to believe

When I told them
They said I was confused
But I felt no confusion

When I told them
They said I was lying
But no lies had left my mouth

When I told them
They said I was wrong
But I couldn’t be wrong about this

When I told them
They said no child of theirs was gay
So I wasn’t their child

When I told them
They blocked their ears
So I shouted so they could hear

When I told them
They screamed for the old me
But it was no longer there

When I told them
I ran
Ran from their disgrace

When I told them
I set myself free
Free to be myself, just me

When I told them
I became happy
Now I’m happy forever

When I told them
I ran to my love
And now here we are

When I told them
I found love
And now I’m happier everyday

When we told them
We were in love
And now were happier everyday

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (Bolded ones are ones for me)
I am “POPULAR”, so I MUST be a rude stuck up brat
I get STRAIGHT A’S, so I I'm AUTISTIC, so I MUST be mean and have no self control
I'm a "NERD", so I MUST have mental issues
I am in BAND, so I MUST be a freak
I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST think I'm better
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I haven't EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be a unromantic
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST be a smart alec
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a with a jock boyfriend
I LOVE MY FRIENDS, so I MUST be giving them something
I'm SUSPICIOUS, so I MUST be an arrogant jerk
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I SPEAK ITAILAN, so I MUST have a weird accent and love pizza
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I have ADHD/ADD, so I MUST be a crazy-chick that you can't control.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST support everything that Bush does
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm SHORT, so I MUST compensate with something else
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I'm IMPULSIVE, so I MUST be an idiot.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be dumb
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be prejudiced.
I WRITE, so I MUST be a loner.
I'm QUIET AND SHY, so I MUST be stuck-up.
I'm AWKWARD AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX, so I MUST be a pimple-faced teen.
I'm FORGETFUL, so I MUST be doing it on purpose.
I sometimes SAY STUPID THINGS, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm TALL, so I MUST be good at basketball and volleyball.
I'm a GYMNAST, so I MUST be a wanna-be cheerleader.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST be hilarious.
I don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be autistic

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat

I don't believe in God so I MUST be evil and should be ashamed.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I WEAR SOME BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told).
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogantI'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ITAILAN, so I MUST be obbsessed with soccer.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick (well i think i am witch)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kiss someone's ass.
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a kick ass bitch. (hahah)
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug-addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz (ok, now thats offensive)
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy.
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi.
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm an OVER 16 YEAR OLD TEEN MALE signed with DISNEY, so I MUST be a GAY, CHILDISH FAG.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. (dancing is mah life!)
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.

I'm a TEEN GIRL who likes to HAVE GOOD NATURED FUN with my FRIENDS, so I MUST be a WHORE, SLUT, and a LESBIAN.
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be a nerd.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.
I like the JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST be a TEENIE BOPPER, OBSESSED FAN GIRL.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans.
I'm a HANNAH MONTANA FAN, so I MUST be childish and immature

I SPEAK ITAILAN, so I MUST have a weird accent and love pizza
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I have ADHD/ADD, so I MUST be a crazy-chick that you can't control.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible
I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST support everything that Bush does
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid and stuck up
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I'm SHORT, so I MUST compensate with something else
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
I'm IMPULSIVE, so I MUST be an idiot.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be dumb.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be prejudiced.
I WRITE, so I MUST be a loner.
I'm QUIET AND SHY, so I MUST be stuck-up.
I'm AWKWARD AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX, so I MUST be a pimple-faced teen.
I'm FORGETFUL, so I MUST be doing it on purpose.
I sometimes SAY STUPID THINGS, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm TALL, so I MUST be good at basketball and volleyball.
I'm a GYMNAST, so I MUST be a wanna-be cheerleader.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST be hilarious.
I don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS, so I MUST be autistic

'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I don't believe in God so I MUST be evil and should be ashamed.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR SOME BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told).
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. (Idk for this I just go to a collage prep school)
I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. )
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a TEEN GIRL who likes to HAVE GOOD NATURED FUN with my FRIENDS, so I MUST be a WHORE, SLUT, and a LESBIAN.
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be a nerd.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.
I like the JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST be a TEENIE BOPPER, OBSESSED FAN GIRL.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans.
I'm a HANNAH MONTANA FAN, so I MUST be childish and immature

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what? space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On American flat iron: "Fastest iron ever" (What did we have a race?)

On The back of a white-out bottle: "Color: White" (No, Really?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed... I know i did :):):)

Your GANGSTA name (first three real letter of your name with izzle at the end): Lauizzle

Your DECTECTIVE name (animal and color): Panther blue

Your SUPERHERO name (color, drink): Yellow jones

Your ARAB name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling ((or pets)) name, and last letter of your mom's middle name): Airocrs...weird

Your WITNESS PROTECTION name (Your mom's middle name): Margaret-Delores or Breed...she has two

Your GOTH name (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Tuppins

Your ROCK STAR name (fruit and your secret fear): Mango Silence

Your PIRATE name (color and pirate accessory): Silver Buckle