Erissia Poll: Who is your favorite MALE charecter From 'The Hunger Games' Vote Now! |
 Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Autumn's godess, Erissia Mother: Persephone(Godess of spring) Father: Apollo(God of the sun, arts and healing) This is my 20th reincarnation. I only last 20 years at a time, each time being born into a new clueless familly, each time with a new task to compleate in erder to be reborn again... Now 14 years into this life i find i need someone to take over my job so i may be immoral and free in a permenent placement... but still i must compleat my task. This time i vow to free my mother once and for all from hades...My first birth was from my true mother in the underworld... hades wanted none other to destroy me... he posesed me to most horible crimes... Unaware of my condemer... i was sent to serve my step father hades... several long years later i tried to seek help, and became Selene's succesor takeing on the role of godess of autumn's nights and it's moon... I had concile with zues and was rendered to be reincarinated every 20 years to rediscover my legacy... and now being my 20th time i am to be set free but only if i find someone to take my burden... And shall i suceed, depends on weather one freely eccepts my role... Sometime in one of my reincarnations i crossed hecate gaining her blessind and ability over controlling air grately aiding me, this of course made my tital, of autumn's godess, stick with me. Ascan be imagained each life sends me more stress and obsticals this is my outlet, reading, writting, reminding me that others may just mabye have life eaqualy dificult as mine... To all of you who have been oppressed and have had your Submit your Own Tribute stories reported. WE ARE REBELLING! It's time to start governing our OWN stories and if these people can't leave us be, then we WILL strike back! There are far too many SYOTs out there for them to start reporting us now and if we don't do something about it, these stories will cease to exist. I am getting a petition going to show the mediators of FF.net that we want that rule changed for the peace of mind of us Hunger Game fans! If you're with me, please copy and paste the petition below onto your profile and type your pen name so that others will know you're on board. (And after you're done, please PM me so I know that you signed so I can keep an eye on this thing.) The Hunger Games pledge: I promise to remember Rue When mockingbirds’ songs wake me. I’ll think of Foxface every time I eat a strange new berry. If my little sister pets a goat I promise to think of Prim. And if my best friend acts depressed Then Gale; I’ll think of him. When I toss some wood in the fire I’ll think of Katniss every time. And I’ll always think of Peeta When my birthday cake’s sublime. The Capitol will cross my mind When someone is unfair. I’ll be sure to think of Clove Each time I pretend to care. I’ll always think of Glimmer If someone’s pretty, but a dunce. And Thresh will occupy my mind If I spare someone, something... Once. Whenever I watch a reality show I will think of the Hunger Games. I’ll sure imagine Haymitch If someone calls me names. I’ll make sure I think of Effie When there’s nothing on my mind. I promise to remember the Hunger Games Catching Fire, and Mockingjay too. IF U LOVE THE HUNGER GAMES YOUR'LL LOVE ME!!!! Other Stuff Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile Her name was Aurora Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad copy and paste this if you are against child abuse and want to kick all of the abusers butts cause you hate 'em! I went to a party, Mom I felt proud of myself, I made a healthy choice, I got into my car, Now Im lying on the pavement, My own bloods all around me, Im sure the guy had no idea, So why do people do it, Mom Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Someone should have taught him, My breath is getting shorter, Mom I wish that you could hold me Mom, one message: dont drink and drive! Stuff for PERCY JACKSON!!!!!!!!!! (a.k.a: the best series, and a very hot demigod) Percy Jackson Pledge: I promise to remember Percy NORMAL PEOPLE/PJO FANS: NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you! NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON WHEN . . . . You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. (benn there done that) There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” (Yes...and it worked!!!) Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. (OOPS!!! "Thanks Hermes!".) When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. (now that i think about it...) You burn food to see if it smells good. (...have you benn stalking me) You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” (now i will!!!) You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon. (YUPP) You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.(:D) Someone close to you dies and you give them money just in case… (Sure?) Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family. (TOTALLY) You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda… (Never been on one yet, but when i am...) You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood. (Yep.p) You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air. ( Definitely) You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy. (or go find percy!!!!) You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you. (no comment) You think George Bush is a son of Ares (hm..now that i think about it...) You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses?? Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere. (along with my ball piont pen and yankee's hat) When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos. (Kronos, loser such a fail!!!!) You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas. (*gasp* they make those?!!!!) You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies. (sorta, but hades isn't at fualt) You sometimes try to control water. (nah im smart enough to know otherwise) You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. (mabeee...) You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. (shhhh and i found it!!! shhhhhh) You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket. (Yep. right next to my golden dracma) That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. (*sigh* if only) Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor. (Laistrygonian giants . Where is tyson when you need him?) You go to San Francisco looking for the Old Sea Man!!! (Haven't been but i will now!!!!) You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain. (Yupp!) Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!" (Na, me and hermes cool he wouldn't do that!!!) You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test. (na but english i can see...) And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth. (Athena get over it) You have ADHD, are diagnosed, and are convinced that you are a demigod because of this. (I have an ADHD mind!!!! so yeah!!!!) You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive. You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. (SO TRUE!!! ohh i just got an idea!!!) When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke.(Hera: what did i do to anger you...don't answer that. Nemesis: i forgive you! Hermes: and i thought we were friends!) You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. (YUPP!!!!!) You give all your siblings god parents (older sister-hermes, no contest:younger sister- Hecate, defenatly: Youngest sister-Ares, maby im still unshure...!!!) When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera." (sure) You cried when you finished TLO You eat, sleep, and breath Percabeth (i won't eat them, or breath them is kinda imposilbe, and sleep them...no comment) Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page (that would anger Athena) You're in love with a fictional character You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series (i wish) You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood (totally) If you want to push Rachel Elizabeth Dare off a cliff. (RACHEL'S AWESOME!!!) If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into your profile. WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS! 1. Follow them around the house everywhere. 10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D: 1. Ask For Directions To A Place You're Already At. To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.(SWEET!) 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!" (or something like, "PAYING ATTENTION!") 5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana 7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, scream, 'I Won! I Won!' 18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug!" then enforce it. HOW CRAZEE?? Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't spanish and you just do that to annoy him. Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music. Crazy is when u laugh uncontrolable at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles. Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move. Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world, Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane. Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty". Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh . . ." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino . . .) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( What other time do I have to work on my hair?). On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion, right or are u a secret dictator jus trying to suggest it). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) On a steak: Serving suggestion: Freeze (But wouldn't that hurt your teeth?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that the whole point) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what else?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash or was it supposed to have loony peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere in Sweden?) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm. . . . .something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . ) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Oh sure, go ahead, destroy a universal child belief! I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) The Kane Chronicles Pledge: I promise to remember Carter When I travel far away I promise to remember Sadie When I have something sarcastic to say I promise to remember Desjardins When someone doesn't fight fair I promise to remember Amos When someone has beads in their hair I promise to remember Iskandar When I see someone very old I promise to remember Bast When I see cat's eyes that are gold I promise to remember Horus When I see a beautiful bird I promise to remember Isis Whenever strange voices are heard I promise to remember Set When someone is clever and sly I promise to remember Anubis When a cute boy catches my eye I promise to remember Zia When I see someone working magic I promise to remember Julius Kane When someone's life is tragic I promise to remember Ruby Kane When someone I love is gone And whenever I read The Red Pyramid I'll always remember this song. Cancer: .•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨) Wisdom of Life - Quotable Quotes and Facts of Life The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Attempting to give a damn . . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given. I'm not so good at advice; may I intrest you in a sarcastic reply? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep. WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs. Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span) What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth. It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing. I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead. Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. My favorite word is sarcasm. Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people. If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet? Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' (if I HAD one . . .) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Screw fire and save matches!! Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs dont make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed. One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons. I hear your silence loud and clear. According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless. Don't steal. The government hates the competition. If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. Tell the truth and run. Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply. Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. Generally, generalizations are wrong. Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research. Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts. The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here? Whatever you are, be a good one. You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. We are the people our parents warned us about. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for. Belief gets in the way of learning. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done? When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years. We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality. If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire. A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. Have the courage to live. Anyone can die. Education is important. School, however, is another matter. When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. Cynics are made, not born. What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week. Maybe this world is another planet's hell. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains. Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing! Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more. If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . . When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing. If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me. Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed. Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was. If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up. People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people. He who laughs last didn't get it. If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous. They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out. The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you. Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done. If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Being mature is overrated. Being weird is like being normal, only better. I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me. Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life? Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver. When life gives you lemons . . . make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it. (OR) squirt 'em in peoples' eyes! Be insane- well behaved people never made history. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions. It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it? Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . . I'm not random . . . I just have many thou- OH, A SQUIRREL!! (OR) you just can't think as fast as me. I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it! If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!" Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper. I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . . Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it. She Said: You wear pants don't you? "Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!" |
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