ReadWithYourEyesClosed
 Author has written 7 stories for Danny Phantom, and Rise of the Guardians. Alignment: I'm a Chaotic Neutral (I even took the test!). For those of you who don't get it, this is what I'm talking about: Lawful Good ... Neutral Good ... Chaotic Good Lawful Neutral ... True Neutral ... Chaotic Neutral Lawful Evil ... Neutral Evil ... Chaotic Evil Lawful Good: Doing it right, and then doing the necessary paperwork. Neutral Good: Occasionally forgetting protocol, but still getting shit done. Chaotic Good: The ends always justify the explosions. Lawful Neutral: At least until we get bored. True Neutral: Just doing it for the LOLs. Chaotic Neutral: Might save your life, might steal your car. Lawful Evil: Bringing order to the universe, even if we have to choke the shit out of it. Neutral Evil: Because there's really nothing better to do. Chaotic Evil: Eating babies and kicking puppies, and that's on good days. You are 8.3% Evil. You follow your own personal whims. You are first and foremost an individualist. You value your own freedom and liberty but won't necessarily strive to protect that of others'. You hate restrictions, challenge traditions, and shun authority. You may be at times unpredictable, but your actions are not random or without thought. Life Sayings: "I'm too busy getting lost to read a map!" "The grass may be greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your OWN grass it would be just as green." "A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one." "When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and sit around laughing while everyone wonders how you did it." "You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same." "Women who behave rarely make history." "I love talking about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about." Oscar Wilde "Write without pay until somebody offers to pay." Mark Twain "Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individules." Don Delillo "I don't like to write, but I love to have written." Michael Kanin "What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call." Liz Carpenter "Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia" E. L. Doctorow "Don't get it right, just get it written." James Thurber "Whether or not you write well, write bravely." Bill Stout "Writting is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators." Olin Miller "I put a piece of paper under my pillow, and when I could not sleep I wrote in the dark." Henry David Thoreau "It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." Robert Benchly "You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country." Robert Frost "Better to write to yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." Cyril Connoly "I try to leave out the parts that people skip." Elmore Leonard Author's Proverb 1: Dead hard drives tell no tales. May the technology fairies bless my flash drive with a longer life... If you're sick of people telling you to copy and paste stuff in your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. l...l Put this on your There are very few problems which cannot be solved by large amounts of explosives. You look like your face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork. Anything thrown hard enough should hurt. I'm so gay I can't even think straight. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. Did you know that 'school' and 'vagina' are both six letter words and are dark holes of nothingness that can hold screaming children for nine months? I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. I intend to live forever -- so far, so good. Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse. Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it. My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end. Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert! I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me... Wait. Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. I've always wanted my last words to be,"Hey, what does this button do?" Police officer: How high are you? Person: No officer, it's 'Hi, how are you?' There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. The 3 Stages of Insanity: Insanity is simply getting the joke before anyone says it. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Normal is just a setting on washing machines. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics. Never do anything you don't want to explain to the judge. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet. It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn. As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what form of transportation I'm using, I always hate bicyclists. I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors. Death is God's way of saying "You're fired." I am not a bitch; I am the bitch; and to you, I am Ms. Bitch. I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe those idiots trusted me with this). Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time. This weight on my chest Cannot ever be lifted. Oh wait, it's just boobs. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.” "He thought he was a wit, and he was half right." - Joseph Addison "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams "I can see a world without hate and without war. And I can see us taking over that world, because they'd never expect it." Mom: *holding our cat and jokingly talking to him* Where were you last night, young man? Were you with any girl cats? Was there any catnip involved? Me: Mother, there is a fine, fine line between joking and crazy cat lady. You are currently playing jump rope with that line. -BlackPaperMoon82462 "I will follow you to the ends of the Earth. And when we get there, I will push you off." -Banki SilverWolf "STOP THINKING STUPID!!" -An English Teacher "Can we be antisocial butterflies?" -Sen the Cheshire Cat "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." "I will lie, cheat, steal and destroy things for really good books. And I will sell my soul for an internet connection, I miss Google damnit!" - Strange Return by Shivera "We leave immediately!" "But what about dinner?!" "...We leave in two hours!" "You remind me of something." "What?" "Monday." "Why?" "Nobody likes you." Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving." "Dear students, I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, your teacher." Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If YOU'RE one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into YOUR profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it SAVE: Students Against Violence Everywhere. Be a friend! Help a friend get out of an abusive relationship! Pass this around if you believe in peace for all people! "Girls Don't Realize These Things" I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head, "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as "I'm Sorry". If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as "Girls Don't Realize These Things" "Stay Thirsty My Friends" "Stay hungry stay foolish" "When life gives you lemons, blatantly disobey it and make orange juice" A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. People call a 14 year old girl slow, no one knows that she suffers from arthritis since age 4 and had a near death experience because a doctor gave her WAY too much penicilin which she was allergic to. Repost this to stop bullying. Stereotypes that I hate cause they relate to me: To much Courage and Determination can somewhat lead to the fine line of Insanity Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 23) Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bell boy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." Writing Style: Besides my a/n, my style of writing may seem strange to some people. When I start a story, my GOAL is to put the reader on an emotional rollercoaster. I WANT the reader to be reading something dead serious one line, and die laughing unexpectedly the next. I enjoy writing like this, as it is unique and thus a breath of fresh air for many readers used to more typical writing styles. Some people like my styles, some don't. All I ask is that you aren't rude in telling me you don't like it. It is always my intention, however, to at least make the reader grin once during the story. Preferably laugh. That's why the author's notes are the way they are. I've seen them like that in many fics, and I enjoy reading that. Only the a/n will be like that though. Ships I support: Kim Possible: Kigo (Kim PossiblexShego) RonxKim RonBon Rise of the Guardians: Sweet Tooth (ToothxBunny) Christmas Cookie (NorthxTooth) Bennefrost (JackxJamie) BlackIce (JackxPitch) Danny Phantom: Amethyst Ocean (DxS) Grey Ghost (DannyxValerie) TuckerxValerie TuckerxJazz DannyxEmber Pokemon: Pokeshipping (AshxMisty) Originalshipping (RedxGreen) SoulSilverShipping (LyraxSilver) PreciousMetalShipping (SilverxGold) GoldxRed FerrisWheelShipping (WhitexN) NxBlack ConflictShipping (RubyxSapphire) Pokemon Ranger: SolaraxLunick ObliviaShipping (BenxSummer) VatonageShipping (KatexKeith) RythmixIssac Red EyesxBlue Eyes IceCastleShipping (IcexKate) Harry Potter: Harmony (H/Hr) Lunar Harmony (H/Hr/LL) HP/DG NL/LL NL/DG NL/SusanB SusanB/HP SiruisB/RL RL/NT LE/JP NL/Hr NL/TD HP/TD DM/ His hand... LOL! Sonic The Hedgehog: Sonadow Sonourge Sonanic Sonilver Mephilver Mephadow Shadilver Scourilver Mephourge Sonknux Scouranic Knuxouge Sonamy Silvaze Crails Espamy Vecilla Crossover Ships: Frosted Phantom (Danny PhantomxJack Frost) Harry PotterxTwilight Sparkle HPxPrincess Luna WTF were they THINKING this is SO wrong/OOC/NOT happening ships: JackxBunny: Bunny is a jackass who does nothing but insult and belittle Jack the whole movie. He brings him to near tears at the SECOND scene they are in together, and the first scene he takes great delight in VIOLENTLY KIDNAPPING HIM. WITH YETIS. This isn't kindergarten, where the little boy who likes the little girl will pull on her pigtails. who the fuck came up with this and how'd it get so damn popular, this pairing is fetish bullshite. JackxNorth: 'Tacks of brass' scene Is a perfect example of why I think NORTH IS FUCKING CREEPY. With immortals I tend to ignore age differences, otherwise no-one could really fall in love due to everyone being differing mortal and immortal ages and theyre all gonna be around forever anyway, but this is just bad. Sure I can make that excuse for Blackice even though Pitch is like thirty and Jack is fourteen. But North is OLD. DUMBLEDORE old. And yes. I find a red-faced, probably drunk fat guy in a fur-lined suit entering your home in the dead of night through the CHIMNEY because he has 'something for the kids' INCREDIBLY FUCKING CREEPY. YEAH I JUST DESTROYED YOUR CHILDHOOD. SO WHAT? SonicxEggman: No. Just no. Eggman. Naked. Need I say more? If I do there's a species difference, a SIZE difference, an age differnce, and let's not forget the trying-to-kill-you-Sonic thing ol' Eggy has going. HPxLord Voldemort: Refer to the above, remove the size difference, replace Eggman with Voldy and Sonic with Harry. Voldy is clearly not human like Harry- He's part Snake, part noseless megalomaniac. 1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4. "and distant." (... That's it.) 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can... what do you find? A Crunch bar wrapper. (It waz GOOD, too) 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Mythbusters 4. Without looking guess what time it is? 10:20 p.m. 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 10:19pm (Wow... I really did guess...) 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? ... Crickets? 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? 6:30 walking in circles 8. Before you started this survey, what were you looking at? Wishing for a cookie. 9. What are you wearing? 10. Did you dream last night? That I was Sonic and Scourge was raping me... (It creeped me out...) 11. When did you last laugh? 12. What is on the walls of the room you're in? Mold. Paint. 13. Seen anything weird lately? Yup!! I looked in the mirror! 14. What do you think of this quiz? It's FUN!!! 16. If you became a multi-millionaire over night, what would you buy? A COOKIE! 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. I HAVE SUBSTANDARD TYPING!!!!! 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics... 19. A quote that you love/live by... "When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and sit around laughing while everyone wonders how you did it." 21. Imagine your first child's a girl, what would you call her? Angel 22. Imagine your first child's a boy, what would you call him? Lacy 27. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? Score, war, more, oar, sore... 28. Favorite planet? Mobius! XD I like Moebius, too, but only'cause it's Scourge's home, so he's not bugging Sonic... as much. 29. Who is the fourth person on your missed call list on your mobile phone? 30. What's your favorite ring on your phone? Vibrate. =) 31. What shirt are you wearing? My late father's favorite tee shirt. 32. The brand of shoes you are currently wearing? 33. Bright or Dark room? 34. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you? 35. What were you doing at midnight last night? 36. What did the last text message on your mobile say? 37. Where's your mailbox? 38. What's a word you say a lot?
Insane: Awesome. Slytherin 45% Ravenclaw, 32% Hufflepuff, 66% Slytherin and 58% Gryffindor! Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folks use any means To achieve their ends. Slytherin's cardinal traits are ambition, cunning and determination. Like the Gryffindor House, Slytherins are emotionally volatile. In contrast, however, Slytherins are much less dominant and assertive, and less extroverted in general. Rather than expressing these emotions outwardly, Slytherins direct them inward or act in a passive aggressivemanner. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin are much more driven to succeed than the other two houses: Gryffindor out of pride and Slytherin out of ambition. Slytherins are also much more pragmatic than the other houses and more adept at manipulating people. A key trait would be a low level of agreeableness: Slytherins are more pessimistic, more distrustful than most, and more likely to attribute negative motivations to people. So although Slytherins experience a wide range of emotions, due to their distrustful views of people and skeptical worldview, they are less expressive and more likely to appear cold or distant unless provoked. A Slytherin's ambitious nature comes out in different ways depending on what is important to the individual person. It could lead them to try to achieve top marks (if intellect and schooling is important to them) but it could also be directed at social settings or towards athletic endeavors. I may be Slytherin, but don't hold it against me! It just means I'm super awesome, like Daphne Greengrass! Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them nearly as much. What's this thing you call 'normal'??? Is it CoNTagiOus??! OMG!!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!! ... I might catch your 'normal.' *shudders* I am in denial over Fred and Dobby's deaths. (Why Rowling, WHY?!?!?!?!?!) Say NO to drugs. Say YES to TACOS. hEY YOU! Yeah YOu?! *sigh* No, no YOU!!!1... the OTHER guy. Yes, YOU!!! ...Do you like tacos??? Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. Strangers have the best candy. Love is like war - it always finds a way. (Sad, but true, I know.) Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil. In case of emergency, RUN LIKE HELL! I don't care if me making men a sandwich when they ask moves the feminist movement back to the 50's. It is simply the nice thing to do and I like making sandwiches. So screw you and you're crazy feminism ways!! My guy friends get dinosaur shaped Nutella sandwiches, and there's nothing you can do about it. "I'm king of the rock, and there's nutin' you can do about it." - Ling, Mulan Average Person:"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ic-" Moo! I'm a FISH! I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So... why learn? The tooth fairy teaches children that we can sell our body parts for money : I run with scissors - it makes me feel DANGEROUS. We can learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are blunt, some go squishy, some snap when put under pressure and chip in places. Some are dull, while others bright, some rub off on others and some leave really big marks. Some have lots of glitter on them and some go a bit gross. Some are very pretty and some have weird names, but though they are all different in colour and type, they have all learned to live together in the same box. Sometimes, I wish I was a monkey, so I could throw bananas at people and it would be legal. I did not hit you... I simply high-five your face... really hard... Average Person: To err is human. THINGS I HAVE LEARNED: - Jumping into toxic waste does NOT give you super powers. - Drink lots of coffee. That way, you can do dumb things faster with more energy! - Always give 100% at school/work: (12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday) - If your parents leave you unattended for more than 11 minutes in Cairns Shopping Mall, the security guards WILL attempt to sell you to the circus. I am being gravely serious with you. Seriously. - Never go to bed, angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge. MY WAYS OF ANNOYING PEOPLE: Call dog "dog". Holler random numbers while someone is counting. Begin all sentences with "oh la la!" Speak only in a "robot" voice. Wear pants backwards. Ask people what gender they are. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for imaginary friend. Sing along at opera. Mow lawn with scissors. Honk and wave to strangers. HARRY POTTER CHARACTER FUN FACTS: Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Liege’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out anyway and will not be remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if Harry Potter were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake at the Final Battle. Gryffindors … will jump off the cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO OR SAY AT HOGWARTS: "If Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!" "I will not charm a thousand shampoo bottles to follow Snape around, throwing themselves at his head, and then claimed a potted plant told me to do it." "I will not tell everyone that I overheard my sister saying, 'So I was like, 'Avada Kadavra!' and he was like, 'Dead.' " "I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling." "I will not tell the first years that Hagrid is an evil giant and he will eat all of them up." "I will not call Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret." "I will not refer to Hermione as 'Ron's pet night-troll.'" "I will not give Remus Lupin a flea collar for his birthday" "I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort." "I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month." "I will not say 'dude, get a life' to the Dark Lord." "I will not ask Professor Snape why he stole Batman's cape." "I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book." "I will not spread rumors saying, 'When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.' " "I will not tell Penelope Clearwater that Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." "I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when sent to the headmasters office." "I will not send You-Know-Who a letter saying, 'I have eight Horcruxes, take that Voldy!' " "I will not call Professor Flitwick Master Yoda." "I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination." "I will not tell everyone that Snape is the illegitimate child of Professor Sprout and Dumbledore." "If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm." "I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand." "I will not attempt to slide down all the banisters in Hogwarts." "I will not draw a twirly mustache on the face of the Fat Lady in permanent marker... ... and then proceed to do the same to all the other portraits in the castle." "I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing." "I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens." "I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals." "I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween." "I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton." "I will not kidnap the Marauders and sell them to an animal circus." "I will not take Neville skydiving." "I will not tell the first years that running up to Draco Malfoy screaming and hugging him will bring them good luck." "I will not try to check Luna into St. Mungos." "I will not nickname Hagrid 'The BFG.'" "I will not print out Dramione pictures and stick them all over the castle." "I will not book Moaning Myrtle therapy sessions." "I will not try to get the Dementors to wear hot pink cloaks." "I will not give Severus Snape lots of hair care products on his birthday." "I will not change the Slytherin Common room password to 'Gryffindor Rules'" These next few are from a Fanfiction entitled "I've Been Naughty" - CHECK IT OUT!! "I am not allowed to bleach professor Snape's hair." "Telling first-year muggleborns that the only way to protect against the monster in the Chamber of Secrets is to dress in neon yellow onsie, a blindfold and combat boots is not appropriate." "I am not allowed to braid Hagrids beard. . . . Nor can I dread lock Dumbledore's, no matter how much he liked it." "Putting temporary tattoo's of the dark mark on hufflepuffs' arms while they sleep is not funny. . . . Videotaping them when they wake up and selling the tapes is also wrong." "Doing exorcisms on ghost is not allowed, especially on Professor Binns." "Polyjuicing myself as Voldemort, hiding behind a door and jumping out and screaming "boo" when Harry Potter walks by is wrong and malicious." "Telling Cho Chang that Cedric cheated on her before he dies, with me, is mean. That goes double if I am a male". "Asking people if they want to see my puppy named fluffy, and then leading them to the Forbidden corridor and locking them inside could be deadly and is not allowed. That is why it is forbidden." "I am not allowed to dye Ron's hair green. . . . Nor Draco's red. . . . Or Harry's blue, Hermione's purple, Dean's yellow, Fred and George's rainbow. . ." "I am not allowed to own or use hair dye." "Professor Flitwick is not a munchkin and asking him where the lollipop guild is, is inappropriate." "Forcing the entire house-elf staff in Hogwarts to wear socks and get fired is not funny and hurts the house-elves more than I will ever know." "Saying I am Professor Snape's slave is incorrect and nobody cares if it is my favourite fantasy." "I'm not allowed to write Draco Malfoy a highly-suggestive love letter and say it was from Hagrid." "I'm not allowed to tell Professor Trelawney that I just Saw her death and it was in 2 minutes and 42 seconds." "Sacrificing Hufflepuffs to the giant squid is not allowed under any circumstances whatsoever." "I am not allowed to curse the Ravenclaws so that every book they try to read turns into a porno." "I am not allowed to tell Ron that Ginny is dating a 40 year old alcoholic; it is none of my business. It doesn't matter that I'm saying it because it is true and I'm worried." "Fred and George are not clones and neither one is going to become evil and kill me. Accusing them that they will is obnoxious." "Hermione is not related to a beaver, nor a squirrel or chipmunk. Implying that she is, is mean and rude." "A dog bone is not an appropriate gift for Sirius Black. . . . nor is catnip for McGonagall, . . . A collar and lead for Professor Lupin is crossing a line." "Filch in a tutu is not an attractive sight and I should refrain from cursing him to wear one." "Forcing any person/staff/creature in the school to switch gender is not allowed." "Calling Pansy a 'Pug-faced bitch' will result in punishment. It doesn't matter if she is out of earshot. It does not matter if I think it is unfair that I should be punished for 'telling the truth'." "Spreading rumors that Harry is pregnant with Draco's love child is not only stupid but impossible." "Telling the Muggle Studies teacher that in the Muggle Schools kids sleep with their teachers is not right." "I am not allowed to put unknown ingredients into the lunch goblets to 'See what would happen'." "I'm bored is not an excuse to charm paper balls to chase Professor Flitwick around the classroom." "I am not allowed to put any type of laxative in anything someone could consume." "I am not allowed to keep a creature from the Forbidden Forest under my bed, especially if it is much larger than my bed." "McGonagall is not having a love affair with Miss Norris. End of story." "I'm not allowed to ask Professor Snape if we are making a lubricant every time he announces that we are making a new potion." "They have not, nor will they ever teach me to transfigure a penis and I must stop asking them to do so." "Charming Ron's clothes to run away from him screaming 'RAPE!!' is wrong, no matter how many people laughed when he ran into the Great Hall naked except for a towel." "Dragons are illegal. The police don't care that you already bought a year's supply of food and it is not refundable. The dragon will be confiscated." "I am not allowed to handcuff together students or teachers to each other. . . . Saying that the only way to unlock them is by kissing for 40 minutes straight is mean, especially when you pretend to throw away the keys in front of them." "I am not allowed to use compulsion charms to make the Slytherins sing "It's Okay To Be Gay" in the Great Hall." "I am not allowed to use unforgivable on any living person. . . No reason is acceptable, even if they annoyed me." "School wide orgies are not 'Interhouse Relations'." Just because I am able to bend and kiss my own rear-end, does not mean I should. I am not the direct descendant of Godhhel Hirrefn, the man who invented sex. . . . nor am I related to Haley Visind, the woman who created the idea of death. I am not allowed to tell Harry that Voldemort changed his dark mark and that it now a purple flower that sits on the left shoulder. . . . Placing said mark on Hermione and Ron when they aren't paying attention is wrong. Draco Malfoy is not a girl, no matter how girl he acts, and taking his clothes of with magic in public is rude and will be punished with detention. "Professor Snape is not my father and crawling into his lap and calling him daddy is not appropriate." "No part of the staff is related to me in anyway so I will not be getting extra credit on homework." "Bringing Harry Potter series to Hogwarts to cheat on my Divination test is horrible, especially if I leave it in a place I know Harry will see." Just because they are ghost it doesn't mean that their feelings can't get hurt. I am not allowed to throw water on lord Voldemort to see if he will melt, that will result in my death and no one will feels sorry for me. Seamus does not have a drinking problem because he is Irish, telling him to go to AA meetings is very insulting and I will stop doing it immediately. I am to sit at my own house table, every day and every meal . . . no exceptions. If I call professor Umbridge, professor "UmBitch" I will get detention, even if I am not talking to her directly. She is still my superior and deserve me respect, no matter how stupid she really is. Attempting to kill any student, teacher or creature will get me expelled and have an extensive stay in Azkaban. Filling the entire Great Hall with Jell-O is not allowed, even if it is cherry and nobody doesn't like cherry. I am not allowed to shrink any of the professors, and selling "pocket-sized Professors" to other children is wrong. I am not allowed to give twenty different people polyjuice potion with either Fred or George Weasley's hair in it making it so we have 22 identical people running around. . . . I am not supposed to have polyjuice potion to begin with and I am not allowed to use it . . . ever. I must share the dorm with my roommates. Locking them out of the room for the entire night will get me punished, especially if I get rid of their possessions for more room for mine. It does not matter if I think I need more space. There is no such thing as "Hump a HufflePuff Day" . . . Nor "Grope a Gryffindor Day" . . . "Spank a Slytherin Day" and "Rub a Ravenclaw Day" also don't exist. I should stop saying they do. I also need to stop making the cards, t-shirts, mugs, and hats that go along with each day. House- elves are not my personal slave, making them rub my feet when ever is sit down is wrong. . . . making them carry around my book 'just for the heck of it' will also result in me getting in trouble. Dumbledore is not Santa, telling first years that he is, is rude. When addressing a teacher I should call them Professor, sir or ma'am . . . Master, mistress, lord, lady, and God are not correct ways to talk to a teacher. When I ask Harry if I may ride his broom I MUST be talking about his Firebolt, any other interpretation will be considered sexual harassment. I am not allowed to give miss Norris cat nip and then let her loose in the Great Hall. I did not see Fred George and Percy having a incestuous gay threesome last night, or ever. I am not allowed to say that I created a spell that will give you the answer to any question you ask and cannot be detected on a test. . . . saying that I have a spell that will let a person have sex with whoever they want with no consequences. . . . selling the spells for 10 galleons (or any amount of money) is not right. . . . especially if the spell i do give them makes the words "I am a desperate loser" float above their head for two days. Owning a Giant is illegal, just because I am in school does not mean I won't go to jail. Sending any of the Weasley children birth control, whether anonymously or not, and saying it's for their mom is in bad taste and will be punished... ... Sending Mr. Weasley a brochure about vasectomies is wrong, and can easily be traced back to me. Using red spray paint to paint "the Chamber of Fantasies is open again" is mean and will cause some people to have bad nightmares. The activities that happen in porno's are not real, I am not allowed to recreate them. When asked to make a potion I MUST use the ingredients and instructions that are given to me BY THE PROFESSOR. Sending Harry a love letter signed by Voldemort is disturbing and horrifying, and should be avoided. When writing in red ink I am not allowed to tell first years that it is blood of those who asked me annoying questions. Acting like I am possessed by an animal or anybody is wrong and frightening. . . . It is also not an excuse for not getting my homework done. AND SOME MORE JUNK! 75 percent of teenagers would cry their eyes out if Justin Bieber decided to jump off a building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're in the 25 percent that would be shouting "DO A FLIP". A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. *She gives him a big hug* Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. 98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!" 98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would be in the 0.1% category! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. If you have long conversations to yourself/your reflection over weird pointless things, copy this into your profile. Things I’m Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance policy on Harry Potter 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month" 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work" 14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast 18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day" 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways 20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor 21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full" 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell 26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees" 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge 30) I will not go to class skyclad 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers 34) I will not start every potions class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends" 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak 38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts 40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I do not weigh the same as a duck 42) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous 43) I will not lick Trevor 44) Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey" 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself too seriously 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet 49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God 51) I will not tell Peeves to throw eggs at Professor Snape because "Fred would want you to" 52) I will not show the students "Potter Puppet Pals" 53) I will not convince the Fat Lady to use "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" as the password. 54) I am not allowed to steal Luna Lovegood's shoes 55) I will not call Professor Snape a self-secluded Momma's Boy in class (aw...) 56) I will not use magic to hypnotize my crush at campus to think they're in love with me 57) I will not make "Perfect Symmetry" into a spell 58) I will not prank the Slytherin house as revenge for them insulting my friend 58) I will not ask my teacher why Voldemort does not have a nose 59) I will not ask professor Flitwick why he is so short. 60) I am not allowed to put a Dr. Filibuster Firework under Professor Flitwick's chair to see if he'll fly into the air cartoon-style. If you just read this whole list copy and paste it into your profile then add one more to it! This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to yuor porifle if you can raed this! 50 Ways To Annoy Dan Phantom (Dark Dan) 1. Put his hair out. Copy and paste time!!!!! 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie,Aeropostale and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would die laughing, copy and paste this! If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: On a can of cashews: Copy & Paste this to your profile if you think those are all extremely stupid labels. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, Phantom-Figure, Weird Romantic Gal, Devilchild93,TheGirlWhoDancesAtTheMoonlight, Angel of Darkness Thirteen, Ghostgal4, Aurora Borealis 97, The Icechild, insaneshadowfangirl There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile. If you have Phantom Phever and you know it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think being popular sucks, copy and paste this on your profile Weird is good, strange it bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile! if you have ever annoyed people just for fun copy this to your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this onto your profile. Too many teenagers have smoked or tried Marijuana, if you haven't, put this in your profile. DENY THE DRUGS! DENY THEM! If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you'vebeen on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile. PLEASE READ. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart DPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111 Long live Danny Phantom! Revive the series, Nickelodeon, FOR THE GOOD OF THE PEOPLE! My name is Lily. Copy & Paste this to your profile if it made you cry. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into your profile! Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. AND EVEN MORE! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE END! Her name was Aurora Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrust the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad I didn't write this, but if you hate child abuse, copy it into your profile and do anything you can to stop it, because this kind of thing happens everyday. It's wrong, and everyone should do their part to stop it! Girls are like Boys are idiots Copy this to your profile if you think I'M EXTREMELY RIGHT. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them! "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. Education is important; school however, is another matter. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. (Darn straight!) Female Comebacks Man: Have I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: Hey baby, whats your sign? Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell. MWAHAHAHAHA! 5 percent of teenagers would cry their eyes out if Justin Bieber decided to jump off a building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're in the 25 percent that would be shouting "DO A FLIP". 98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!" 98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would be in the 0.1% category! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. If you have long conversations to yourself/your reflection over weird pointless things, copy this into your profile. When life gives you lemons make apple juice, and enjoy it while everyone tries to work out how you did it. FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you FRIENDS: Will say you can do better FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying FRIENDS: Will help you move FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street FRIENDS: call you retarded for running through bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (Yes, some of these are repeated.) The Difference Between Friends and Best Friends FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Will crack under interrogation. BEST FRIENDS: Will not only keep their mouths shut, but will help you hide the body. FRIENDS: Will look at you like you're crazy when you tell them you're an alien from outerspace. BEST FRIENDS: Will break you out of the loony bin and drive you to New Mexico to meet up with the mothership. FRIENDS: Will know all your passwords. BEST FRIENDS: MADE all your passwords. FRIENDS: will be going to get help once the bullies are done with you. BEST FRIENDS: will be next to you saying "Damn!! that hurt!! " FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Will ignore this GOOD FRIENDS: Will repost this! BEST FRIENDS: Will add to it!! ;P FRIENDS:would ignore this If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile. (this statement also thoroughly represents my sister) If you are obsessed with fanfiction, put this in your profile. If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile. If you guys love to read, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think flamers are dirt bags who spend their day thinking of ways to insult people, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a lunatic, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think the reason for taking Meth and other illegal drugs is the lack of an actual life, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. If you don't know what your favorite animal is, copy and paste this into your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't have a MySpace and you don't want a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile. 98 percent of the internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this into your profile. If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile! If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! 90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile. If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! If you are really random put this on your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile (all of 'em!). If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile. If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile. If FanFiction.Net is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO THE END! Crazy? I was crazy once! I would sing stupid songs at school, then read books on how to read! But then I died, and people put daisies on my grave, and one is bending down and tickling me on my nose, so I'm giggling and everyone is scared of me because I'm dead and I'm not supposed to be giggling so no more daisies! I know, I'm crazy! Crazy? I was crazy once! Copy and paste this into your profile if this applies to you, and you know it does. Stupid things! In bold are things i've done 1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out Omigosh... You made it to the end! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEES! I'm meeeeeeeelting! |
Rise of the Guardians Oneshots by HuntressBiancadiAngelo reviews
Hiro, My Little Test Subject by MaturePopcorn reviews
You Can See Me? by jasmine nightshade reviews
Sacrifice by Upper Tyes reviews
Ready or Not by PartyMashedPotatoes reviews
Code Lyoko oneshot collection by FanfictionFan3601 reviews
Chance at Snow by Garniella reviews
Captured by Pitch by Fantasygurl23 reviews
So Cold by Calling Autumn Fall reviews
An Unexpected Night at Freddy Fazbear's by shannonhetalia96 reviews
Clothes by Golden feathers Edward reviews
The Purse by LadybugGirl7068 reviews
Down, up, then down, up and then down all over again by Litra-Palia14 reviews
Travelling By Ambulance by uponagraydawn reviews
Sometimes by Sabeloid reviews
Probably for Protective Purposes by Gellie45 reviews
Ice Upon Ice by robinsparkles14 reviews
Candy Crush: A Ham-Ham Adventure by Andreille LeFlore reviews
Being Worth It by Sage Dans Les Lys reviews
Bad Habits by Rachael Rothman reviews
Careless by Rachael Rothman reviews
Pain by Crazy Adamantine reviews
The Talk by Sammy Heroes reviews
Wanting by Hilaryth reviews
Tadashi Is Here by LadyWendy202 reviews
After love comes more by Mariko014 reviews
Frosted Phantom by Alumbian Chronicler reviews
Sharing experience by Mariko014 reviews
Cleaning the café by Mariko014 reviews
Orphanage by Baroquemonger reviews
On the Trip by randomperson3.14159 reviews
I'm a Monster by Hisoka yume reviews
One week dress up by Sincerely The Sign Painter reviews
Tracks in the Snow by meiikko reviews
Detention by Minerva Teller of tales reviews
Power outage by trashraccoon reviews
One Night Only by Pluto's Kiss 360 reviews
Grin by Trumpet-Geek reviews
Code Phantom by Ultimate Lyoko Warrior reviews
Controversey by Nobody426 reviews
The Dreams by GreatDarkNoodleKing reviews
Death the Kid x Black Star fanfiction - The Bet by adventuresofadriana reviews
Hey, You by fourthofjuly reviews
Adulthood by DaisyChain16 reviews
When Nightmares Attack by xKuroShimox reviews
Trapped and Tentacled by Shika352617 reviews
Abandoned in Antarctica by Meercatwhisperer112 reviews
Anything For Symmetry Part 2 by Pluto's Kiss 360 reviews
Baby Steps by ilovepuppies125 reviews
Theft by gummibar reviews
The Secret No one should Know by Rubytears101 reviews
Behind the Scenes by Poketwerp reviews
equestrian nights, part I by Dr. D9 reviews
Matching Scars by SpoonMeister13x8 reviews
Phantasma Nereiorum Formant by CSIalchemist reviews
Dreams and Nightmares by redroses100 reviews
Amaimon's New Toy by KadieBella reviews
Make it a double by wildkitkat reviews
Phantom Winter by Quetzalcoatls reviews
My Ghostly Son by Tomboy 601 reviews
Birthdays by jenkin reviews
100 by My Vantilene reviews
When the Bunny's Away by Mr.Stavros reviews
The Brightest Light by whitetiger2194 reviews
Warm You Up by Mr.Stavros reviews
Playing with Lollipops by jenkin reviews
Sick Day by hawkhearted reviews
Nostalgia by aubytaylor reviews
I Hate My Tail! by Kwahzutah reviews
Heroes Don't Last Forever by Kvetha reviews
Anything For Symmetry by Pluto's Kiss 360 reviews
Explanation by LamiaDarkholm reviews
Busted by LamiaDarkholm reviews
Playground by Methbunny reviews
The Letter by Lonely God reviews
The Death god Flu by Sailor Water Dragon reviews
Finding New Purpose: The One By Your Side by angel-san801 reviews
Would You Like Some Candy? by necronekochan reviews
Hour of Need by Kuroi Inanis reviews
The Last Night by MusicSavesMe711 reviews
A New Experience by angel-san801 reviews
My Little Brother Isn't Cute by TrueDesires reviews
Discovering by Snickety Lemon reviews
Waltzing at Midnight by Snickety Lemon reviews
Neco kun by FlameDancer12 reviews
Make it Stop Please by OmegaWolfStories reviews
Oh, the Games We Play by ItalianLifestyle reviews
It's Only A Movie by LamiaDarkholm reviews
Look At Me More by Fadesout reviews
In My Arms by LamiaDarkholm reviews
Imperfect by LamiaDarkholm reviews
The Love of Gods by Bastet Leonidus reviews
Cornered by miegg reviews
Death the Kid when drunk by L. Clement reviews
Touchin' On My by Evilest Angel reviews
Honest when Drunk by Somnium Lacertae reviews
Tactile by Somnium Lacertae reviews
Maybe Pranks Aren't Bad After All by Pezlie reviews
Dastardly Brilliant Plan by tsuki-san16 reviews
Till Death Do You Part by Kameko4Life reviews
I'll Make You Forget by Yaoi Maiko reviews
My KiddoKun by LM.C.lover.3000 reviews
Beautiful by Pezlie reviews
The Fateful Night by Untainted-Angel reviews
Mysteries by SquirrelGirl13 reviews
Ageless by Sui Megami reviews
Deathday Revelations by Angel Baby1 reviews
Life Isn't Soo Glamorous reviews
Sing Me a Lullaby reviews
The Life That Hurt Me So reviews
Together reviews
Frosted Secrets reviews
Insanity reviews
Never and Why reviews