Warnings Inside. Dumbledore ought to have known better than to leave an orphaned Harry Potter in the hands of the Dursleys. A twist of fate has the boy-who-lived living with criminals. Sly, cunning, street-smart, sorted into Slytherin where his housemates have been raised to hate him, will Harry survive? Or maybe it's the House of Snakes that doesn't stand a chance.

After killing Voldemort during seventh year, Harry vanished without a trace. But now, 8 years later, a deadly secret forces him to return and it seems that only Snape will be able to save him. SSHP, no slash

Professor Sirius Black, Head of Slytherin house, is confused. Who are these two strangers found at Hogwarts, and why does one of them claim to be the son of Lily Lupin and that git James Potter? Dimension travel AU, no pairings so far. Dark humour.

There are people who are easy to sort, and there are people who are more difficult. And then there's Fred Weasley... Well, how hard can it be to sort him?