HEY. HEY YOU. YEAH, YOU. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I am open to propositions about rewrites.

If you'll read a little lower, you'll see that I am in the process of rewriting the entire Twilight saga. If there's a book or movie or other piece of fiction that you kinda hate and if you can think of a way for it to be better, send me a PM. If I've read it, and if I can think of a way for it to be better, I WILL rewrite it.

Stipulations:

1). If the pairing is heterosexual, I will change it to m/m, yaoi, slash, whatever you want to call it. I have this weird inability to write het couples, or generally anything with females. I'm weird like that.

2). You have to tell me what you hate about it so I can change it, but otherwise give me free reign.

3). If it's something little-known and I haven't seen/read it, then I probably won't be able to do it. But don't despair! If it can easily be found, I'll find it and do it. Promise.

4). You have to give me free reign with the plot. For instance, in my Twilight rewrite, Bela (the new Bella) is a boy. Therefore, Renesmee will never be born, though if I get enough requests for it, I'll do an mpreg version of Breaking Dawn. HOWEVER, there are ways to overcome the whole "Bela can't have children because he's a boy" deal.

5). I will do rating PG-13 to NC-17.

If you want something to be rewritten (ANYTHING, including Disney movies because I've seen just about every fairy tale film ever), send me a PM and I'll get right to it.

I am in the process of rewriting the Twilight saga and Snow White and the Huntsman at the moment.

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

for those waiting on an update for Diamond in the Rough, my internet access has been disconnected. all updates will have to be postponed until further notice.

due to the lack of ability to update, i have also had several plot bunnies run rampant in my brain; therefore, Diamond updates will be postponed even further, but fans of Left 4 Dead, Alice In Wonderland 2010 and Adam Lambert should be happy.

so, basically, just hang on and everything will be up within at least a year. XD

i also have a piece of original fiction on the way... once i set up my fictionpress account. it's based on the myth of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, so stay tuned!

in the works:

Twilight the Rewrite: Bela Swan goes to Forks, looking for an improvement in the relationship between him and his father. He finds more than he bargained for, including love, tragedy, and oh yeah, a totally gorgeous vampire boyfriend. SLASH/YAOI/MxM Twihards beware.

Snow White and the Huntsman: Prince Snow has been hidden away his entire life. When the Queen decides to take his life, he escapes and has an encounter with destiny. Will he become the new King, or will he fall at the Queen's hand? Pairing: Male!Snow/Huntsman.

Untitled Resident Evil: Leon meets a great guy in the bar, only to find out he's a not-so-great former employee of Umbrella. The fact that Vector saved his life is irrelevant. VectorxLeon, going with the semi-canon option of letting Leon live in ORC.

Untitled Alice in Wonderland: Alex Knight wakes to find himself in Underland wearing a blue dress while an odd figure in a hat stands over him. And why is everyone calling him Alice? OCxOC (technically HatterxAlice, but eh), in which Timberell Hightopp and Alex Knight are the great-grandchildren of Hatter and Alice, respectively.

Untitled Nellis: Left 4 Dead 2: Ellis can't imagine making it to New Orleans without Nick, much less living without him in the long run. But when Nick gets mauled by a Hunter and they're out of medkits... it's hard not to imagine it. NickxEllis with a TWIST in later chapters.

My AP Chemistry Romance: My Chemical Romance, Frerard, teacher/student AU. After missing the first two weeks of school due to 'personal issues,' Mr. Way finally comes to teach Frank's AP Chemistry class. Rating: M/NC-17. Warnings: Slash/yaoi, explicit content. Generous use of F-bombs and other naughty words.

Diamond in the Rough (working title): Resident Evil. Albert Wesker's childhood. Rating: T-M. Warnings: Child abuse, both verbal and physical, violence, trauma, bullying... etc.

21 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" with different sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?”

17. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

18. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

19. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

20. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

21. Mark out price tags with a sharpie