Name: Call This Number... ie. Rebekah

Age: Wouldn't you like to know.

Location: Somewhere in this wonderful country in which I live. I'll give you a clue, do you know where the Manawatu is?

Fandoms I love: Harry Potter, Twilight.

Pairings I love: Harry/Severus Harry/Lucius Harry/Draco Edward/Jacob Bella/Alice Carlisle/Harry Harry/Tom Rd jr/Voldemort Sirius/Remus

Parings I hate: Harry/Ginny Hermione/Ginny Anyone/Ginny (I don't like Ginny) Albus/Minerva (Dumbledore's gay goddamnit!) Remus/Tonks Harry/Hermione

Randomly list twelve of your favorite Harry Potter characters:

1. Harry Potter 2. Luna Lovegood 3. Draco Malfoy 4. Severus Snape 5. Hermione Granger 6. Voldemort 7. Fred Weasley 8. George Weasley 9. Lucius Malfoy 10. Remus Lupin
11. Sirius Black 12. Charlie Weasley

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
(Sirius / Voldemort)? F#!k no!

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
(Snape)? Sorry, I'm not into guys.

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
(Charlie / George)? Mpreg and incest, that's kinda gross.

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
(Lucius Malfoy) There are some really great ones with him paired with Harry, and one epic series by Lightning on the Wave, and although it's not about him it shows a really realistic Lucius.

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
(Luna / Voldemort)? He would kill her within the first hour.

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
(Hermione / Lucius) / (Hermione / Remus) Either would be strange but would probably make a good story.

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
(Fred walks in on Luna / Charlie) That would be majorly awkward, and no doubt Fred would tell George and they would use it as blackmail material.

8) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.
(Draco / Remus) I'm crap at summary's, so I'll spare you my attempt.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
(Harry / George) I've read some, but Fred is usually part of it too.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
(Fred / Charlie)? How about... Rejection Hurts.

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
(Snape de-flowering Harry) It starts out with a crush on his greasy potions teacher, and when he discovers the feeling is mutual it turns into a night of passion neither will ever forget.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
(Fred)? Nah, none of my friends even read Harry Potter fanfiction. Shame if you ask me.

13) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
(Draco)? No, same reason as the last one. That's gross anyway.

14) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
(Sirius)? No, same reason.

15) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
(Luna / Severus / Hermione) Even if I did know people in this fandom I don't think I would, I haven't seen anyone write this.

16) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
(Remus Lupin) Either, "Oh, god Sirius, MORE!!" Or he would just growl a lot. (Canon be damned).

17) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
(George)? I can so imagine him singing something like P!nk's U+Ur Hand, or after Fred died The Fray's How To Save a Life.

18) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
(Harry Potter / Voldemort / Charlie Weasley) Slash. BDSM, for Harry and Voldemort, and swearing in foreign languages, for Charlie.

19) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
(Remus / Luna) Remus sits next to her in a bar, pulls out a muggle coin and says, "If I flip this coin what's the chance of me getting head?" She's wierd enough that it might even work. (No offence, I'm not bashing her, but she is wierd.

20) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
(Hermione) It was ages ago, a Snape/Hermione pairing. It was called Care of Magical creatures, it's an awesome story.

21) What is Six's super-secret kink?
(Voldemort) Another person speaking parseltongue to him.

22) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
(Sirius / Lucius) They wouldn't do each other unless someone forced Amortentia down both their throats.

23) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
(Draco / Fred) So Fred, he's got more years of experience and just seems like the type to top to me, whereas Draco, unless he's with Harry alwats seems like the type to bottom.

24) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhapy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three."

Harry and Lucius are in a happy relationship until Lucius runs off with Snape. Harry, broken-hearted, has a hot one night stand with Sirius and a brief unhappy affair with Charlie, until he follows the wise advive of Hermione and finds true love with Draco.

Ok, that was weird. Harry gets dumped by malfoy, has sex with his godfather, as well as his best friends older brother, and then settles down with the man who's the son of the man who dumps him. I definitley wouldn't read that. It's just too weird.

25) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
(Fred/George) In my opinion, near enough canon cos who knows what else those two got up to. And seeing the teeny bits of slash here and there, like Remus/Sirius in book 3 is what keeps me sane. I so yelled the place down when Dumbledore came out. Not that I like any dumbles pairings but it’s a step in the right direction isn’t it? Have to say though if it was canon then (DH SPOILER) Fred wouldn’t have died and George would so have both ears. You've gotta be able to whisper sweet nothings into both havent you?

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I'm a New Zealander so I MUST be a sheep farmer and have a wierd accent.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

YOU ARE A PROUD MEMBER OF THE MCRMY IF :

- THE SONG HELENA ACTUALLY SAVED YOUR LIFE

- THE VIDEO FOR I DON'T LOVE YOU MADE YOU CRY MORE THAN GERARD WAS

- THE MOMENTS IN WHICH GERARD ISN'T HAVING AN INTIMATE MOMENT WITH THE MICROPHONE MADE YOU WISH HE COULD HEAR YOU SCREAM HIS NAME

- YOUR ENTIRE LIFE REVOLVES AROUND THE SONG TEENAGERS ... AND YOU'RE NOT A PREPPY BITCH

- YOU BOUGHT THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE JUST BECAUSE YOU KNEW IT WOULD PISS YOUR PARENTS OFF

- YOU ACTUALLY LET TRACK 14 PLAY THE VERY FIRST DAMN TIME YOU LISTENED TO THE BLACK PARADE CD

- YOU THINK GERARD WAY MADE BLEACHED HAIR EMO BUT MISSED THE BLACK HAIR ANYWAY

- YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHY THE HELL HE WROTE A SONG LIKE CANCER

- THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM IS YOUR FUCKING THEME SONG

- YOU CAN BALANCE YOUR PASSIONATE LOVE BETWEEN THE MUSIC OF MARILYN MANSON AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE BUT STILL UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HATE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

-GERARD SINGING ABOUT HOW YOU NEVER LEARNED A GODDAMNED THING ACTUALLY TURNED YOU ON

- GERARD ORGASMING AND GROPING A MICROPHONE MADE YOU JEALOUS OF THAT MICROPHONE

- YOU ACTUALLY PUNCHED THE BITCH THAT SAID THAT MCR WAS OVERRATED IN THE FACE

- YOU'RE HONESTLY JEALOUS OF FRANK IERO'S GUITAR

- YOU ARE PASSIONATELY CONVINCED THAT RAY TORO IS NOT ONE OF THE BEST GUITARISTS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH ... HE IS THE BEST

- THE VERSE OF DISENCHANTED ACTUALLY MADE YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL

- WAYCEST MAKES YOU HOT

- YOU WOULD HONESTLY LOVE TO SEE GERARD LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR FRANK IERO OR BOB BRYAR

- BOB BRYAR AND THE WAY HE BEATS FRANK AND GERARD UP REALLY INSPIRED YOU TO STAND UP TO THE LOCAL BULLY

- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE'S VERY PRESENCE ON THIS DESOLATE PLANE WE ARE FORCED TO CALL EXISTENCE INSPIRES YOU TO MAKE IT TO THE NEXT DAY AND THE ENTIRETY OF THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE SAVED YOU FROM THE WORST DEPRESSION ON THE PLANET

- MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE'S VERY EXISTENCE MADE YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Copy and paste this into your profile if you think that preppy blonde cheerleader bitches should never live to see the light of day merely because they pretend to understand why MCR is a crucial part of every emo kid's musical diet.

Thoughts on Gay Marriage!

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and, as Americans, we reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and liposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage straight people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall. (Raven Tiger: I wish xD I want to be tall! seriously I do...Stop laughing at me. xD).

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all. Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriages would be less meaningful if gay marriage was allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spear's 55 hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed upon an entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and female figure in a home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage would change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS! It's actually important.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished
to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was
picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been
finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all
her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and
the fact that she is 25 years older than I am.

But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter! We share a dream of having many more
children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing
it for ourselves and trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the
meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care
of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to
visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your son Jeff

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house. Just wanted to remind you that there
are worse things in life than a report card. That is
in my center desk drawer.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

--One day, Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
--"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
--In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
--"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
--"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
--"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
--"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
--The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
--Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "If you stick that goddamned thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
--"Amen," replied the congregation

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, SlytherinLuver, RavenTiger, black burning heart66, Innocence is Dead11

"I'd have a longer attention span if so many things weren't...OH! LOOK! SHINY!." (Seriously, I'm a freaking magpie.)

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet.

"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure."

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

Oh no! Barney's gone pimp! What has the world come to?

Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Speed, weed and birth control. Life's a b#tch until you die. So f#ck this world, lets get hi!

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over.

You've been a naughty boy, go to my room!

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

we don't have many old people here, they can't outrun our wolves.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

Protester holding a sign: "Homosex is a Biohazard!" Protestor behind him holding a sign: "Homosex is sin-sational!"'

There is nothing queer about loving another human being.

We the people...Means everyone...Rainbow

Marriage is about love...Not gender.

Everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

OMG. I think I just saw Paris Hilton. No, wait, that was a twig.

Cover your ears honey, because the magazines and celebrities scream "You'll never be good enough!" And if you hear their lies too many times, they won't be lies anymore.

If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile.

I had a dream, and in it, something eats you.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

He said, 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it.' Then she said, 'Well, you wear pants, don't you?'"

"Every writer, without exception, is a masochist, a sadist, a peeping Tom, an exhibitionist, a narcissist, an injustice collector and a depressed person constantly haunted by fears of unproductivity." -Edmund Bergler.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"DEATHLY HALLOWS: JKR went too far when she killed Fred." If you agree, put on profile.

'Smile so the tears won't fall, laugh like you're not hurt at all.'