Formerly known as Maltalotiel-of-Lothlorien...I changed my pen name because I didn't like it...I guess my pen name can definitely support my obsession with Savage Garden. I'm a 15 year old sophmore in highschool. I have curly brown hair with blonde streaks, and my eyes are golden. I am an overly obsessed LOTR and Orlando Bloom fan, and I like to write LOTR parodies and other stories like it. My best friend Jessica is the Queen of Hell/Damned and is mentioned in my fanfics "The One Stick" and "Dude, Where's My Rum!" I have also been a Savage Garden fan since 1997 when I first heard their song "I Want You" on the radio, then I bought their self-titled CD, and then their 2nd CD "Affirmation". They broke up in 2001. I wasn't a very obsessed fan back then...but recently, I have become obsessed with Darren Hayes(singer from Savage Garden). I have his CD "Spin" from 2002. And now, it's 2004, and I'm exicted about his newest CD...it's called "The Tension and the Spark". I've already bought the CD from Australia because it's not out in the US until sometime in early 2004. The new songs...how can I explain them? They're not like Savage Garden or Darren's other CD...they're different...they're EXCELLENT! I love Darren's new electronic-pop style. Very expiramental, but definitely in a good way. I'd have to say it's my new fave album at the moment, but "Affirmation" shall forever have a place in my heart. -)

Right now...there's only one way to describe my life: It's nerve-racking, very stressful. And maybe the lyrics to "To The Moon and Back" by Savage Garden could help explain a lot more. The funny thing is, it's the same song in which I got my pen name.

Okay, some of my thoughts about my friends:

Jess: You're my bestest friend in the whole world. Jess, I don't know why I have such a good friend like you...I can't believe we've been friends since kindergarten...wow. I just hope you had a great year at GBHS with us...I miss you. Wasn't that surprise party for you great? You should have seen your face! If it was a picture, it'd be priceless. I'm so glad you enjoyed it...Anthony and I did a great job of trying to keep you from not suspecting anything. Omg...that thing with FWOOM! is great! You've been with me during thick and thin. You were there when I first became totally obsessed with Orlando, and you have had to deal with my obsession of Savage Garden/Darren Hayes and his music. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm still going to leave "You Can Still Be Free" on your phone's recorder.

Anthony: Anthony, Anthony, Anthony! Anthony, you are one of the nicest guys I know...and I'm not lying. Don't change...that's a death threat! But you'll always be a smelly boy/Abercrombie wearing snot to me!

Yike (pronunced: Yeek-oh): Well...what is there for me to say about Yike? Well, you're very intelligent, and have a big potential in life...I know if you tried, you could probably get into M.I.T. or any college you wanted to. I've known you since the 1st day of 7th grade. Remember when we were in Mrs. Brummund's core class? That was great. Yike, you are a great listener, and you are never mean to anyone. Even if you still think I'm a backstabber and the fact that we don't even go to the same high school, I want you to know that you're still a good friend of mine. And one day I'll remember to burn you copies of "Savage Garden" and "Affirmation"...I just never remember to. I guess you'll want "Spin" and "The Tension and the Spark" too...lol...let's see if I can remember all 4!

Chelsey: Chels...you've been a good friend of mine since 5th grade. You're a great person...even if you eat all the food in my fridge when you come over, and you talk faster than anyone I know!

Robyn: Biology would have been BORING without you and Melissa. Who else would have come up with all those jokes about Sir Quincy McFaggot, Boil Boy, and "It"? Freshman year was filled with snails, ponds, divorces, goat heads, boils, and other random things. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Conservation club rules!

Julie: Julz, you've been one of my best friends since 5th grade. We're crazy...but that's cool! From playing "Run Over Abby" to prank calling Anthony...it's great!

Stephen: Hey! I'm soooo glad I met you, Robyn, Chloe, and everyone else at the Grizzly Retreat during freshman year! You are such a cool person! Survivor rocks! I had sooo much fun at your Survivor party(Can't believe I made it to the final two!)...I'm Boston Rob! YAY! If I could vote anyone off the school right now, it'd have to be that stalker...Mike...I swear, he scares me.

Sarah: Sarah, you are awesome! If you hadn't been in Spanish with me during freshman year, I would have died...either that or I would have gotten my ass kicked by all the juniors since I did have the highest grade in the class...LOL!

Paul: Pauletta! OMG! You are sooooooo funny! I am so glad we were in the same history/English class in 8th grade. I mean, who else would have helped Julie and I get random up to date info on Breanne? LOL! You are such a cool person! I swear, one day I will get you a pink radioactive dolphin for your birthday! Do you remember when we were playing MASH-O and you got the van that said "Mommy Mobile" and flowers painted all over it for your car? And Spencer was your husband? That was GREAT! LOL! I still think that was hilarious when you wore the pink dolphin pj pants to school that one day.

Allison: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Hmmm...what can I say about you? You're psycho, like me, and one day we shall have a mass murder rampage and take over the world with our evilness...hmmm...sounds fun, huh? LOL! You know, I really hate our World Studies class this year. WHY DIDN'T WE TAKE AP EURO! Hehe...notes...hehe...I think that class has turned me into a note-taking zombie.

Okay...just one last thought...

Well...I'm not going to say who exactly this is for, I guess it could work for a few people, but mainly directed towards one individual: You've saved me so many times, in more ways than you'll never know. Thanks for helping me find my sanity within all the chaos, you are truly an inspiration. If I was to ever see you on the street, I would probably hug you...either that or start to cry...maybe both...I dunno...all I want to say is thank you, your words means a lot to me. When I was down, all I had to do was listen to what you had to say, and it made all my emotions burn away...

Some random facts about me:

Fave Actor: Orlando Bloom

Fave Singer: Darren Hayes

Fave Band: Savage Garden and Linkin Park

Fave Colors: Blue and Yellow

Fave Song: "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden...well, I love any song that Darren Hayes/Savage Garden has ever sung, but "Crash and Burn" is my most favorite, the others are my favorite songs too.

Fave Show: Survivor, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Jackass, Viva la Bam, Wild Boyz, Punk'd, The Crocodile Hunter, Maury Show, Jerry Springer(LOL! The inspiration to my fanfics...jk)

Fave Movie: LOTR Trilogy, POTC, Troy, Secret Window, The Goonies, Edward Scissorhands, Star Wars(All of them), Interview With the Vampire

Fave Book: LOTR, The Hobbit, Interview With the Vampire(Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles), Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Prey, Timeline, Jurassic Park, Lost World

A LOTR poem by me:

"Gollum's Song" by Natalie

So shiny, so round
We found it in the river’s ground
It is mine, my own, My Precious!
We use it to become invisible
And to catch fish that are delicious
My Precious and I are indivisible!

Those nasty hobbits stoles it from me!
Without my precious I’m lost, I’m blind; we cannot see
We decided that we must get it back
We must get it before they throw it in Mount Doom’s cracks.

But, the evil Elves have captured me
One day, we climbed up high in a tree,
My guard did not come,
For he was slayed by the Orc scum

We was free to roam again
One day we saw a Fellowship of four hobbits, an Elf, a dwarf, and three men
We followed them into an old mine
The wizard fell into an abyss, and now there were eight instead of nine
The other members fled to Lothlórien
We dared naught to go in there after them
The Elf witch might read my mind,
So we stayed behind

The Fellowship soon left the wood
We followed them as close as we could,
For the Elf might sense my being
And we did not want to be killed by bowstring.

We stalked after the two hobbits that were going to the Black Gate
And the hour was growing late,
For we tricked the small hobbit
Into letting me guide him to the dark pit

Shelob, the giant spider bit Master’s neck
In anger, the fat hobbit turned her into a wreck.
He cried over his master for hours
But, he did not know that Master was not killed by the spider’s powers
Orcs took Master away
The fat hobbit rescued him in a day

We followed them all the way to Mount Doom
The fate of Middle Earth was coming soon
We wanted our Precious back in our hands
We followed the hobbits into dark lands
Only to find that they were going to dispose
Of my Precious that we held so close

We could not let this be,
It was my Precious...it came to me!
Master tried to steal it
But we fought the invisible hobbit
His finger was no more
We had bitten it off and spat out the gore
My Precious was mine again!
We jumped around and slipped into the mountain
We cried one last final “Precious!”
As we fell into Mount Doom and was forever lost...
Random Quotes by friends: "Getting banned out of gay chats- 1,000. Insulting gay chat moderators- 10,000. Corrupting the gay youth of America- priceless."-Jarrod.

Random Celebrity Quotes:

Darren Hayes:"Spin is the title track of the record for main reasons; mostly because it epitomizes everything I feel about music. You know, the song is basically saying whenever everything is wrong in the world and in your life; music, art, dance, maybe these things, they have the ability to take you away from that for a moment and inspire you, lift you, take you away from your sorrows. And when a DJ drops that needle, when a beat hits you, when my melody fills the air; can it pass through you, can it make you forget, can it makes you feel 10 feet high, can it make you move, can it inspire you? It’s positive, and you can pretty much shake your booty to every song, which I am proud of."

Darren Hayes: "If you want me to be straight, gay, into monkeys, dating Kylie, whatever, I'm happy for people to project whatever on to me."

Random Movie Quotes:

POTC
Captain Jack Sparrow:"But why's the rum gone!"

Star Wars
Darth Vader:"Luke...I am your father!"

LOTR
Pippin:"Anyway, you need intelligent people for this kind of mission...quest...thing!"

Legolas:"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring MUST be destroyed!"

Legolas:"And you have my bow."

Gimli:"What's happening out there!"
Legolas:"Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?"
Gimli: Hahaha!

Gimli:"Toss me! Don't tell the Elf!"
Aragorn:"Not a word."

Gandalf:"All you need to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."

Galadriel:"Welcome, Frodo of the Shire, One who has seen the Eye!"

Treebeard:"Don't be hasty, Master Merry."

Gollum:"You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you!"
Sméagol:"Not listening! I'm not listening!"

Pippin:"What about second breakfast?"
Merry:"I don't think he knows about second breakfast."
Pippin:"What about elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, supper? He knows about those, doesn't he?"

Edward Scissorhands
Joyce:"Want some lemonade?"
Edward:"Lemonade?" Barfs

Zoolander
Zoolander:"I want to find out if there's more in life than being really, really, really, really, outrageously goodlooking"!"

Secret Window
Shooter:"I knew I could do it," Todd Downey said as he helped himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl. "In time, all of her will be gone, and her death will be a mystery, even to me."

Mort:"I killed a mirror. And a shower door."

Shooter:"I thought you didn't smoke?"
Mort:"I took it up for my health."

Queen of the Damned
Lestat: senses someone is in his house "Marius..." walks into living room to see Marius looking at a magazing with "The Vampire Lestat" on it
Marius:"Lestat...it's good to see you, Lestat
Lestat:"And you. Still wearing the old fashions I see."
Marius:"Old habits die hard.
Lestat:"How did you manage to slip through the 50's in red velvet?"
Maruis:"I slept."
Lestat:"I don't think you missed much."
Marius:"Elvis?"
Lestat:"Elvis."

Fave Music Lyrics(by Savage Garden/Darren Hayes):

"Can I have your attention and press rewind?
When the DJ spins will it change your mind?"-"Spin" by Darren Hayes

"Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall,
lift you up, and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash
then crash and burn you're not alone."-"Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden

"I would fly to the moon and back
If you'll be
If you'll be my baby
Got a ticket for a world where we belong
So would you be my baby?"-"To the Moon and Back" by Savage Garden

"Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me
I'm in a daze; stumbling bewildered."-"The Best Thing" by Savage Garden

"I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do
I will be strong
I will be faithful
'Cause I'm counting on a new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning
Yeah...
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever until the sky falls down on me."-"Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden

"Is love really the tragedy the way you might describe?
Or would a thousand lovers still leave you cold inside?
Make you cry, these tears of pearls
With all these mixed emotions we keep
Locked away like stolen pearls
Stolen pearl devotions we keep
Locked away from all the world"-"Tears of Pearls" by Savage Garden

"I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy."-"Gunning Down Romance" by Savage Garden

"You make me feel like my father never loved me (you never loved me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my skin untouchable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you don't like?

You make me feel like my mother, she abandoned me (you abandoned me)
You make me feel like the act of love is empty (I felt so empty)
Am I so unlovable?
Is my heart unbreakable?
Do I remind you of a part of you that you despise?

Are my lips unkissable?
Are my eyes unlookable?
Is my sex undoable?
Am I unlovable?
Are my words unlistenable?
Are my hands untouchable?
Am I undesirable?
Am I unlovable?"-"Unlovable" by Darren Hayes

Random Book Quotes:

"In spite of all the refinements of civilization that conspired to make art-the dizzying perfection of the string quartet or the sprawling granduer of Fragonard's canvases-beauty was savage. It was as dangerous and lawless as the earth had been eons before man had one single coherent thought in his head or wrote codes of conduct on tablets of clay. Beauty was a Savage Garden."-"The Vampire Lestat" by Anne Rice.

Random Phone Conversations:

Nat: Guess what!
Jess: What?
Nat: I dunno.

Nat: Guess what?
Jess: Huh?
Nat: I LOVE CORN ON THE COB!

Jess: Guess what?
Nat: Chicken butt.
Jess: Guess when?
Nat: Big fat hen.
Jess: Guess why?
Nat: Chicken pie.
Jess: Hehehe.
Nat: We are soooooo random.

Nat: English people have funny accents!
Jess: I like them!
Nat: I like their accents, too! Orli’s English!
Jess: I thought he was British?
Nat: Slaps forehead
Jess: What?
Nat: British people ARE English people.

3-Way Convo:

Anthony: I'm gonna go shower.
Nat/Jess: Okay!
Anthony: ...Come on! SAY IT!
Jess/Nat: sigh WASH, SMELLY BOY!

Anthony: I wanna see White Chicks!
Jess: That's nice.
Nat: That's random.
Anthony: Jess...
Jess: Hmm?
Anthony: Say it!
Jess: Do I have too?
Anthony: Yes.
Jess: Fine then. Ahem. If I see White Chicks, my IQ will probably drop ten or twenty points.
Anthony: That'd make it what...2?
Jess: Oh yeah? Well...well...YOU AND ALL THE PEOPLE I LIKE HAVE THE COLLECTIVE IQ OF A FREAKIN' BLUEBERRY! AND I DON'T LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE! So that'd make your IQ like, what...-96?

Anthony: singing TRAAAADIIIITIIOON! TRADITION!
Nat: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
Jess: Oh no...Here we go again...Don't make me play peacekeeper

Anthony: How do you spell...ooh, jeep...
silence
Natalie: bursts out laughing
Jess: J-E-E-P.
Anthony: Huh?
Jess: You're all, "How do you spell Jeep?"
Anthony: What? Oh, no! I wanted to know how to spell-
Jess: Jeep, we know!
Natalie: That's great...

Nat: Hey Jessica?
Jess: Yeah?
Nat: Nevermind.
Anthony: Huh?

Anthony: So, tell me again Jess, when you first saw me, what'd you think?
Jess: Dude, I've told you a million times already.
Anthony: I know, I just want to hear it again.
Jess: sigh Abercrombie-wearing snot, which you still probably are.
Nat: I think you're a loser that can't spell Jeep!
Anthony: That's great! ...HEY!
Nat: Heehee!

Nat: Guess who's hot?
Anthony: ME!
Nat: NO!
Jess: Orlando Bloom.
Nat: How'd you know!

Anthony: I don't like J Lo anymore!
Jess: Anthony, I swear, you switch crushes like a chick!
Nat: Bursts out laughing
Anthony: HEY!

Anthony: Hey Natalie, this is Anthony...call me back, I have to ask you something.
30 minutes later
Nat: Ooh! I have voicemail! Listens to it, and then calls Anthony
Anthony: WAAAZUUUP!
Nat: Hey, I just got your message...what did you want?
Anthony: My friend and I wanted to know how to spell "America".
Nat: ...
Nat: ...!
Nat: You're a loser.
Anthony: We called Jess after I left a recorder on your phone, and she told us how to spell it.
Nat: Giggling "How do you spell...ooh, jeep!"
Anthony: Oh no...not again.
Nat: YOU ARE BLONDE...LITERALLY! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE BLONDE HAIR!
Anthony: Hehehe.
Nat: Well, I have to go.
Anthony: Bye.
Nat: Bye.

Radom Online Conversations:

Natalie: Anthony, you're a lying cheating bastard!
Jess: Shall we?
Natalie: Yes! FWOOM!
Jess: FWOOM
Rolling head
Ghost of Anthony: Aww, crap... ;_;
Ghost of Spencer: Hello sexy!
Ghost of Anthony: AHHHHHHH!

Note: FWOOM! is the sound a lightsaber makes when you use it.

Random Phone and Online conversations:

Jess's mom(on MSN): Tell Jess to come over here to show me how to change the picture on the messenger.
Anthony/Nat(on MSN): Okay.
Nat(on phone): Hey Jess...your mom wants you to show her how to change the pic on MSN.
Jess(walks away and then can be heard in the background of the phone): No! Figure it out on your own!
Jess's mom(on MSN): What's her problem?
Nat(on MSN): She says she's PMSing.
Anthony(on MSN): LOL!
Anthony/Nat(on phone): Giggling uncontrollably
Jess(on phone): What's so funny?
Nat(on phone): Hehehehehe! Heehee!
Jess(on phone): What did you say!
Nat(on phone): Uh...heeheee...I...uh...hehehehe...I said, "She says she's PMSing!"
Jess(on phone): What the Hell!
Anthony/Nat(on phone): Heehee.
Jess(on phone): Grrr!

If I could write a letter to Darren Hayes:

Dear Darren,
I know who you are, where you live, and what you did last summer. Beware, I'm watching you, and am planning to kidnap you.

Love Always...Your Stalker,
Natalie P.

Note: No, I am not Darren Hayes's stalker...I wish I was, but I can't drive yet, and I don't want a restraining order put on me. I just one day typed that out on IM to Jess and she thought it was hilarious.

Random Online Improv:

"The Maury Show"
Maury: Soooo...why are you here?
Nat: I'm cheating on my boyfriend!
Maury: And his name is?
Nat: Orlando Bloom.
Audience: WTF! Bitchslaps Nat
Nat: With Darren Hayes!
Girls in Audience: O.O WE LOVE "Truly Madly Deeply"!
Nat: SEE!
Maury: Let's bring Orlando out.
Maury: Welcome to the show! Do you know why Natalie has brought you here?
Orli: Um...no.
Maury: Natalie, want to tell him?
Nat: Uh...
Jess: SPIT IT OUT!
Orli: You're not a lesbian are you?
Nat: WTF! NO! I'm cheating on you with Darren Hayes!
Orli: Oh .
Nat: You're not mad?
Orli: He sings good!
Nat: WTF! You're supposed to start crying and run backstage!
Orli: Why? He sings good! I can see why you cheated on me...
Nat: You're cheating on me...aren't you?
Orli: Uh...
Nat: YOU LYING CHEATING BASTARD! Runs backstage sobbing
Maury: runs backstage to catch up w/ Natalie
Nat: WAHHHH!
Maury: Why are you so sad? You cheated on him too!
Nat: But...but...but...he cheated on ME!
Maury:...
Nat: WHERE'S DARREN!
Maury: Finds Darren Here he is!
Nat: Orli's cheating on me!
Darren: I know!
Nat:...
Nat:WTF! YOU'RE GAY!
Darren: No.
Darren: I saw him w/ Kate Bosworth...
Nat: WHY THAT ANOREXIC LITTLE SLUT!
Darren: Why are you so mad? Now we can go get married in Bosnia!
Nat: WTF! I said Brazil...not Bosnia...slaps forehead
Darren: Oh...
Nat: Loser.
Orli: TAKE ME BACK!
Nat:...
Orli: I didn't mean to cheat on you!
Nat:...
Orli: You cheated on me, too!
Nat:...
Orli: Will you marry me? We'll get married at the same place Britney Spears did!
Nat:...
Nat: Uh...no
Darren: What about us getting married in Botswana?
Nat: Slaps forehead
Darren: What?
Nat: BRAZIL!
Darren: Oh...yeah...Borneo
Nat: Slaps forehead
Darren: What?
Nat: Nevermind.
Orli: TAKE ME BACK!
Anthony: Hey! SHE'S TAKING ME BACK!
Nat: How did you get here!
Orli/Darren: WHO IS HE!
Nat: Uh...I don't know
Anthony: SHE'S MY PRECIOUSSS!
Nat: Um...how about no!
Nat: STALKER!
Orli/Darren: YOU CHEATED ON ME!
Nat: Um...no.Anthony: You cheated on me!
Nat: WE WERE NEVER A COUPLE!
Anthony: HUH!
Nat: GET AWAY FROM ME!
Jess: Heh heh...could have fooled me...
Anthony: NOOOOOOOO! TAKE ME BACK!
Orli: TAKE ME BACK!
Darren: How about Natalie and I go get married in Bermuda?
Nat: Hits her head against a wall
Darren: What!
Anthony: Please?
Orli: Jumps up and down PICK ME! PICK ME!
Darren: We'll get marred in Belgium!
Nat: Takes off her shoe and hits her forehead with it
Darren: What!
Nat: NEVERMIND!
Audience: BRAZIL!
Nat: whispers to audience He's blonde...
Audience: Ahhh.
Nat: Yeah.
Darren: Yeah! I got an idea! Now I can marry Natalie in the Bahamas!
Nat: AHHHH!
Darren: What?
Nat: It's BRAZIL!
Darren: Okay!
Orli: So...Darren...can I be your best man?
Darren: Sure!
Orli: Where's the wedding going to be at?
Darren: Bolivia.
Nat: Slaps her forehead Hey...I have a bruise!
Darren: Why are you doing that?
Jess: Because you're blonde! DUH!
Nat: Sarcastically Because it makes me feel pretty!
Darren: Oh, okay!
Nat: OMG!
Jess: Sorry folks for just randomly walking on set, but I feel that Natalie needs a bit of help coping with the stupidity that surrounds her.
Anthony: Hey, I'm Italian, TAKE ME BACK!
Nat: Um...no!
Orli: Take me back?
Nat: YOU ARE A LYING CHEATING BASTARD!
Anthony: FINALLY! Somebody other than me!
Darren: Wanna get married in Belize?
Nat: mutters Why don't I just shoot myself!
Anthony: OOOH! WE CAN BE GHOSTS TOGETHER!
Nat:...Maybe not...
Orli: Take me back?
Nat: You...CHEATED...
Darren: Let's get married in Burma?
Nat: You can't even figure out the country right!
Darren: Huh?
Nat: puts on straightjacket I shall not cause harm to myself...I shall not...Hits head against wall many times
Jess: It's freakin' BRAZIL, YOU IDIOT!
Jess: Alright, Nat, deep breaths.
Darren: I don't see how that makes you feel pretty...
Nat!
Jess: Can I slap him? Please?
NAT: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nat: NO!
Nat: Heeehehee
Nat: Take this straightjacket off of me!
Maury: I don't think we shoud do that...
Jess: Fine...unties clasps
Nat: DAMN IT DO IT!
Jess: Sorry, Maury, but best friends hafta stick together.
Nat: Heeheee becomes hysterical
Anthony: Um...
Orli: Um...
Jess: stands by in case Nat decides to do something rash
Darren: LET'S GET MARRIED IN Bhutan!
Nat: smiles crazily
Nat: Hehehehe...
Darren: Uh...
Jess: Heh heh heh.
Anthony: I'm scared...
Anthony: You know what Orlando...you can have her...I'm taking J Lo back!
Somewhere in the audience (J Lo): NO!
Orli: Um...
Darren: Natalie...why won't you marry me! Bulgaria is a nice country to get married in~
Jess: sits back and eats popcorn
Nat: Bulgaria!
Darren: Yeah!
Nat: ARE YOU STUPID!
Darren: No...
Nat: BLONDE!
Darren: Thank you!
Jess: Slips Darren a slip of paper that says, "BRAZIL"
Nat: OH SCREW IT! Takes out a map and hands it to Darren
Nat: SEE THAT COUNTRY!
Darren: The one under Indonisia? MY COUNTRY!
Nat: Um...no...
Jess: laughs uncontrollably
Darren: Let's get married in my hometown in Australia!
Nat: considers/mutters to herself Um...well...at least he'd remember it...
Darren: PLEASE!
Jess: Nat, let's see if he can get the B word right
Orlando: DO I NOT EXIST!
Jess: NO!
Nat: Yeah, Darren, what country!
Darren: Bangladesh of course!
Nat: puts a fork though her thumb Hey...that's cool!
Nat: delirious
Nat: NO!
Darren: Um...Britain? I have fans there!
Nat: NO! hits herself with the One Stick
Jess: mutters Read the freakin' slip of paper...read the freakin' slip of paper...
Darren: Burundi?
Nat: Did I tell you this...no!
Jess: MY WRITING IS NOT THAT ILLEGIBLE!
Darren: What do you want little girl w/ glasses that is white!
Jess: OH NO YOU JUST DID NOT!
Nat: in her delirious state heeheee...little white girrrrrrl!
Jess: Nat, how could you let him call me that! I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND!
Maury: And this is why you don't cheat on Orlando Bloom!
Jess: Oh, wait. You're...high.
Orli: Um...she's like delirious.
Jess: SHUT UP!
Nat: Let's all go play soccer in...BRAZIL with the Mexican tigers!
Orli: Um...
Jess: British pretty-boy...grrr...
Orli: Hey, at least I'm not a blonde Australian!
Darren: I might move to the UK...
Orli: THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO LA!
Jess: I'd rather have the blonde Australian than a British Pretty-Boy! Of course, I CANT have the blonde Australian, cuz he's Nat's.
Darren: Maybe I'll stay in San Francisco!
Nat_ You keep the mullet cuz he's ugly.
Jess: No thank you. I'll take my choir guy and be happy.
Jess_
Nat:singing Litttttllllleeeee whiiiiiteeee girrrrrrrll with gl-asssssss-esss!
Jess!
Jess: No me gusta tu...
Darren: How about we get married in Barbados?
Nat: woken temporarily out of deliriousness NO!
Jess: YOU. ARE. A. FREAKING. IDIOT!
Darren: Benin?
Nat: NO!
Darren: OOOH I KNOW! MY HOMETOWN IN AUSTRALIA!
Nat: Um...
Darren: Brisbane!
Nat: No!
Jess: pulls out paper, writes BRAZIL on it in big, bold, black letters, folds it into paper airplane and throws it at Darren
Darren: Why are you throwing paper at me!
Jess: READ IT YOU BLONDE MORON!
Darren: How about in Belarus?
Nat: No.
Darren: British Virgin Islands?
Jess: Nat, maybe you WOULD be better off with Orlando...
Nat: Heehee...virgin...NO!
Anthony: AHAAA! I HAVE MADE HER A PERV!
Nat: Heehee.
Anthony: Take me back?
Nat: NO!
Darren: How about in Bouvet Island?
Nat: NO!
Darren: Bahrain?
Nat: No!
Darren: Bassas da India?
Nat: No!
Jess: READ THE FLIPPIN' PAPER AIRPLANE!
Darren: British Indian Ocean Territory?
Nat: NO!
Darren: Burkina Faso?
Nat: NO!
Jess: Nat, you always fall for the dumb ones.
Nat: Orlando wasn't...
Orli: Take me back?
Jess: Well, sans Orlando.
Nat: YOU'RE A LYING CHEATING BASTARD!
Darren: OOOH I KNOW!
Darren!
Nat:...
Jess: Hmm...eventually, Darren will run out of places that begin with 'B' and finally say Brazil.
Darren: I have gone through all the B's and there's one left!
Nat: And...
Jess: Process of Elimination! Smart boy!
Darren: Bra...bra...bra..
Nat: Uh...?
Darren: Bra...
Jess: LOL
Nat: Bra!
Darren: Braaaaaaaaaazzzeeeeeeeeiiiiilll
Nat: Repeat that?
Darren: We are going to get married in Bra-zeeel.
Nat: I am not getting married in a bra.
Jess: I didn't know you were kinky like that, Nat.
Nat: WTF!
Nat: HE SAID BRA!
Jess: And you're the one who said you weren't getting married in a bra.
Maury: Wow...my show is now the worst show on earth.
Jerry Springer: HEY!
Darren: Wait...OOOH! Look it's Jessica Simpson!
Darren: Help me with this word!
Jessica Simpson: Okay!
Jessica Simpson: Um...is it tuna?
Darren: What's this word?
Jessica Simpson: Bra...zaaaaeeeilll!
Darren: SEE!
Nat: slaps forehead
Jessica Simpson: Oh I know!
Darren: WHAT!
Jessica Simson: Bosnia!
Darren: I KNEW IT!
Jess: LOL! It's Jessica Simpson! She thought Chicken of the Sea Tuna was actually Chicken!
Jess: Nat, can I slap him on your behalf?
Darren: That was the first one I asked!
Nat: Jessica, you are a blonde...leave!
Jessica Simson: WAH!
Darren: Wait...SHE'S STUPID!
Nat: Um...yeah.
Darren: Takes out dictionary
Nat:...
Darren: Brazil!
Nat: OMG!
Darren_
Jess: OMFG YOU GOT IT RIGHT!
Nat_
Orli: WHAT ABOUT ME!
Nat: YOU'RE A LYING CHEATING BASTARD!
Orli: But he makes Jessica Simpson look smart.
Nat: No he doesn't.
Jess: Nobody can make Jessica Simpson look smart.
Orli: He said he wanted to get married in a bra!
Nat: He's a perv.
Orli: So is Anthony!
Nat: So...?
Orli: TAKE ME BACK!
Nat: We've been over this many times now Orli...
Orli: Please!
Jess: Hehe...Nat, you're the one who said you weren't getting married in a bra. I'm still tyring to make you see the hilariousness of that statement.
Darren: Orli...I told you...we're going to have you be my best man at the wedding in Bosnia.
Nat: slaps forehead Not again...
Darren: WAIT!
Jess: I feel sorry for you.
Nat: What?
Darren: Braaaa-ziilllll!
Nat: Speak english not Australian!
Darren: Brazil!
Nat_
Darren_
Yike_ Mint?
Nat: NO!
Darren: NO!
Jess: Go away, Yike.
Jessica Simpson: Yeah! I want one!
Yike: OOOh!
Bouncer Bob: drags Yike and Jessica Simpson away
Jessica Simpson: Is it ice or is it a mint!
Yike: slaps his forehead
Nat: Hehe.
Darren: Damn...she's blonde.
Nat: She's not the only one...
Orli: SEE!
Nat: I was talking about Chelsey!
Orli: Darren's blonde too!
Jess: Heh heh heh.
Nat: He can dye his hair black again!
Darren: NOOOO!
Jess: EW!
Nat: I agree.
Darren: I am hot.
Anthony: ME TOO!
Nat: NO!
Darren: You are scary.
Nat: I agree.
Jess: I agree.
Orli: I AM DEAD SEXY!
Jess: I agree.
Nat: O.O
Jess_
Darren: He's right!
Jess: O.O
Nat: WTF!
Darren: Um...kidding?
Jess: I am scared.
Nat: WHY ARE YOU ALL BEING STRANGE HOMOS!
Darren: What's a homo?
Jess: I'm not!
Nat: Nevermind.
Darren: WHAT IS A HOMO!
Nat: Someone on the side of a street...
Darren: goes outside Here's some money for you homos!
Homos: JOIN US!
Homeless man: WHY YOU LITTLE @#!
Darren: HOLY SHIT! It's men who have a sense of fashion like Orlando and me...but they're GAY!
Nat: IT'S THE FAB FIVE!
Darren: AHHH! GAY MEN! hides behind Nat
Jess: Holy shit, Batman! You're fucking right!
Darren: I'm not batman! I'm a jedi!
Jess: O.O With you the force is not.
Nat: Never call him batman...he thinks he's a jedi from Star Wars...he's been a Star Wars freak since he was a child...
Jess: No shit?
Darren: I have more of the force!
Nat: Tru dat.
Nat: It's in real life.
Nat: Lord of the Rings is better...
Darren: NOOOOOOOOO!
Jess: Wow...DARREN! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A LIGHTSABER DUEL!
Jess: Meh heh heh..._
Nat: He'll kick your ass...he has Obi-wan!
Jess: No shit?
Darren: Hehe...Obi's my cocker spaniel!
Nat: Soooo cute!
Jess: O.O
Darren_
Nat_
Jess: And a little dog is supposed to stop me from ruling the world HOW?
Darren: He has the force...like Sherman!
Nat: The Nutty Professor...
Nat: Heehe
Jess: OH LORD ALMIGHT NOT THE NUTTY PROFESSOR!
Jess: RUN AWAY! AHHHHHH!
Darren: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Darren: Why doesth thou runeth awayeth!
Jess: Because ye doth sucketh!
Darren: Fight thou beasteth!
Darren: FWOOM!
Jess: FWOOM!
Nat: Uh-oh
Darren:SLASH FWOOM!
Nat: Steps between Jess and Darren
Jess: WTF!
Nat: FWOOM!FWOOM!
Darren: YOU HAVE A DOUBLE SIDED ONE!
Ghost of Jess: BUT I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FRIEND!
Darren: YOU STOLE MINE!
Nat: Sorry Darren...Jess...I am your friend, but you can't harm my fiance!
Darren: You've accepted my proposal?
Ghost of Jess: But...but...HE'S AN IDIOT!
Nat: You never proposed...
Ghost of Jess: HAHA!
Nat: I didn't kill you.
Jess: You didnt?
Nat: No.
Jess: But you FWOOMED!
Jess: Twice!
Nat: I blocked both of your blows.
Jess: ...A little late for that, don't you think_
Nat: I had a double sided lightsaber.
Jess: Anyways...YAY! I like being alive...
Darren: Yay! I'm her...financeeeeeee!
Nat: Um...you said it wrong.
Darren: Finance?
Jess: snigger snigger
Nat: No.
Darren: Finalle?
Nat: No.
Darren: JESSICA SIMPSON WHERE ARE YOU!
Jessica Simpson: OOOH I KNOW THIS ONE! NICK!
Nick L.: Fiance.
Jessica Simpson: THAT'S THE ONE!
Darren: I'm Natalie's fiance!
Will: Pops up randomly WHAT!
Nat: Uh-oh.
Jess: LOL!
Jess: Wait...Will, if you're here...
Will: YOU LYING CHEATING BITCH!
Nat: ME!
Jess: Where the Hell is my Jack?
Jack: I'm right here, poppet!
Will: Oh...he's there!
Jess_ Jack!
Nat: Um...Will...I love Darren! He sings better!
Will!
Jack: Got any popcorn an' rum, love? This is interesting!
Nat: You sing bad, you need to wash, and you make swords!
Will: I AM NOT A SMELLY BOY!
Nat: Um...yeah you are.
Anthony: Welcome to the club!
Jess: hands Jack popcorn and rum
Will: gives Anthony a look of disgust
Darren: Yeah...join that club!
Mr. Gibb's Parrot: poops on Will's shoulder
Darren: HAHAHAHAHA!
Jess: GO PARROT!
Will: HOW DARE YOU! Storms off
Jack: I knew I loved that parrot for a reason!
Jess: WHAT!
Jack: Platonically!
Jess: Oh. Okay!
Jess: Tee hee hee...there goes the British Pretty-Boy!
Darren: I want to stand with you on a mountain, I want to bathe with you in the sea, I want to lay like this forever, Until the sky falls down on me!
Nat: O.O
Jess/Jack: gag
Yike: MY SONG!
Yike: Hugs Darren
Darren: GET AWAY HOMO!
Jess: LOL!
Nat: Hehe.
Yike: I LOVE YOU!
Darren: WHOA!
Darren: A little help here!
Jess (to Yike): No wonder you didn't say anything at the grad dance...
Darren: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AHHHH! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!
Nat: Yike, stop trying to kiss Darren, he's not a homo!
Yike: DAMN IT!
Nat: Yike came out of the closet.
Jess: Yike, go catch the little math equation! It needs solving!
Yike: MATH! WHEREWHEREWHERE!
Yike: Yess masterrrr!
Nat: I thought you were gay?
Jess: O.O
Yike: I'm bi like Breanne.
Nat: Desperation...
Spencer: Rainbows
Jess: Meep...JACK! hides behind Jack
Yike: NO!
Natalie: Darren, he's scary.
Darren: You're telling me! HE TRIED TO KISS ME!
Yike_
Jess: Yeah, Jack. Go do your pirate thing and get rid of Yike!
Yike: Oh how I love you...
Darren: Oh how I loathe you.
Nat: I thought you loved your fans?
Darren: Most of my fans are females...my music appeals to the females more than the dudes...and I don't LOVE HIM!
Yike: How do I love theeee? Let me count the ways...
Darren: I don't have any hate songs...damn it.
Nat: Here slips Darren a piece of paper
Darren: I hate everything about you! Why do I love you!
Darren: Wait...
Jess: LOL!
Nat: Oops.
Darren: Uh-oh.
Yike: Little hearts and rainbows appear
Darren: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Jess: Yike, go do some math!
Yike: But I must marry Darren!
Jack: This is much more entertaining then anything high and fancy up at the fort.
Darren: NO!
Jess: You must marry...um...you must marry...
Yike: But you live in San Francisco! We can get married there!
Darren: I'M NOT GAY...JEEZ!
Yike: But...but...
Darren: I'M NOT GAY!
Yike: WAH!
Yike: Not even once!
Darren: I'm not happy that this homo is hitting on me!
Jess: Yike, shoo fly.
Darren: Of course I'm happy about going to Brazil w/ Natalie.
Yike: OOOH FLY! MEAT GROUP!
Nat: Stupid cave man.
Yike_
Darren: Did he just eat a fly?
Jess: I think he did.
Nat: Yes.
Jack: WOW!
Darren: EWWWW.
Yike: Are you sure you don't want to at least kiss me!
Darren: hides behind Natalie
Darren: AWAY BEAST!
Robyn: Me!
Darren: No...that...that...fag!
Robyn: Sir Quincy McFaggot?
Jess: No, yike! Tall tan and scary!
Robyn: Anthony?
Nat: No...that chinese dude w/ the mint tin!
Robyn: I see.
Robyn: I would have never have thought he was a homo...
Nat: It's always the ugly ones...
Jess: Poor guys...
Darren: I'm too sexy to be gay!
Nat_
Anthony: I'm hot!
Nat: NO!
Anthony: in denial
Nat: He's a little fruity too...
Anthony: I like fruit.
Jess: coughFRUITCAKEcough
Nat: Ahhaaaa!
Anthony: YUMMY!
Jess: EW!
Yike: O.O
Yike: I've been watching you FOREVER!
Anthony: Seriously?
Yike: Dude YEAH!
Anthony: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER SAY IT!
Yike: Will you be the Juliet to my Romeo?
Yike_
Anthony: Sure!
Yike: Will you be...my shining star?
Nat: I'M SAVED!
Anthony: I wannnnt tooo staaaaaaaand wittth you on a mountaaaaiin..
Darren: STOP IT!
Jess: OMFG NO!
Darren: THAT'S MY SONG!
Darren: YOU CANNOT SING IT!
Anthony: Fine then! Traaaaadiiiiitiiooon! TRADITION!
Nat: Tradition? Um..no
Jess: Here we go again...
Nat: You BROKE the tradition...
Anthony: Fine then!
Anthony: I knew I loved you before I met youuuuuuuuuuuu!
Darren: THAT'S MY SONG!
Anthony: I think I dreamed you into lifffffeeeeeeee!
Anthony: singing Do you love me?
Darren: Why are you singing "Strange Relationship"!
Darren: NO!
Darren: THAT IS MY SONG!
Yike: But...but...he's so beautiful when he sings your songs...
Darren: MY SONGS!
Jess: Oh, Darren, take a chill pill. Let the poor homo sing to his lover!
Anthony: You'll never know what hit you when I get to you! OOOH I want you I don't know if I need you, but ooooh I'd die to find out!
Darren: Grrr.
Yike: girly sigh
Jess: I guess we all know who's wearing the pants in THAT relationship...
Anthony: My love for you insatiableeeeeeeeee!
Darren: THAT'S IT! YOU CANNOT SING THAT SONG!
Yike: flutters eyelashes at Darren Please?
Darren: INSATIABLE IS MY SONG! MINE! YOU CAN SING SAVAGE GARDEN...LEAVE MY SONGS ALONE!
Darren: Especially not for you!
Yike: I can make it...worth your while.
Anthony: I BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOVE!
Jess/Jack: EW!
Darren: AHHHHHHH!
Darren: Hides behind Natalie
Nat: You know they can still see you? You're taller than me!
Darren: Damn it! I wanna be a munchkin!
Nat: Um...that's scary.
Anthony: Love can move you, take you deeper every time...Can make the darkest moments feel like heaven's come alive.
Darren: Can we just leave? He's MUTILATING MY SONGS!
Nat: Fine then.
Darren: THANK YOU!
Nat: Let's go to...
Darren: Brazil!
Nat: YAY!
Jess: Oh my gawd he got it right.
Darren: I'm not stupid.
Jess: Coulda fooled me...
Darren: I was just trying to go through the whole atlas of B's!
Darren: Heehee.
Nat: YOU'RE WORSE THAN ME!
Jess: Why the frick would you do a stupid thing like that?
Darren: Cuz it's funny to see her get mad!
Nat: GRRR.
Darren: Hehehe.
Jess: Heh heh heh. Now you've done it, Smart One.
Nat: Do I still have a small bruise?
Jess: Hmm? No Wrath of Natalie?
Jack: Poppet, it's HUGE!
Nat: Really?
Jack: You have a black eye too, matey!
Nat: YAY!
Jack: Arr. You scare me!
Nat: still delirious
Jess: WTF!
Jack: Poppet in the strictest of platonic senses, my love.
Jess: Oh. Okay.
Jess_
Darren_
Jess: WTF?
Jess: Oh no...
Darren: I WAS AGREEING!
Darren: I was saying he better not hit on her!
Nat: I don't like Jack...
Jess: You had better not. He's MY crazy pirate.
Darren: I'm not crazy!
Jack: Er...yeah!
Nat: YAY!
Darren: Why did he say er...?
Jess: That's what I'D like to know!
Nat: Oh yeah...don't you remember Anamaria?
Darren: O.O
Jack: Um...heh heh...
Nat: Yeah.
Jess: Jack? ...Is this...TRUE!
Darren: hands Natalie the popcorn
Nat: Let's sit on the couch!
Jack: Um...uh, well, I uh...
Darren_
Nat_
Nat: This is going to be entertaining.
Jess: Glad my love life (or lack there of) is of entertainment value to you!
Nat: What do you expect from peeps who watch Maury and Jerry Springer!Darren: Better than the time I made a paper mache ET and drove him around on my bike around town!
Nat: Hehe.
Jack: Now, calm down, Poppet-
Jess: OH NO YOU DONT!
Jess: NOBODY tells me to calm down!
Jess: GRRRRRR!
Jack: Uh...heh heh...
Jess: How could you do this to me, Jack!
Jessica Simpson: Is this chicken or tuna! CHICKEN OR TUNA!
Darren: It's BEEF!
Jessica Simpson: Beef...the other white meat!
Darren: mutters LOSER!
Jess: Oh wow...JESSICA SIMPSON YOU STUPID LOSER GO AWAY!
Darren: You need to die!
Jessica Simpson: FINE! sniff I can see when I'm not wanted...
Nat_ DARREN'S MY HERO!
Darren: She gives blonde pop artists a bad look...oh well...I sing alternative too!
Jess: For once, Darren, I agree with you! FWOOM
Darren_
Rolling head
Ghost of Jessica Simpson: DAMN!
Darren: FWOOM!
Nick L.: AHHHHHHHH!
Rolling head
Jack: Is he even allowed to FWOOM people?
Jess: In this case, yes.
Darren: I'm a star wars freak.
Nat: He has the double sided one I stole!
Darren: GIVE IT BACK!
Nat: Fine then...
Jess: Good for you. Now, back to the matter of Jack and Anamaria...
Jack: The devil made me do it!
Darren: The devil?
Nat: Heehee.
Jess: The devil would not betray me like that, you loser!
Jack: Um...um...heh?
Darren: You might of well should have said the vampire Lestat made you do it!
Jess: Vampire? Ooh...
Darren: It's more believable.
Nat: I LOVE THAT STORY!
Darren: Me too!
Nat_
Darren_
Jess: I like vampires...
Darren: starts eating more popcorn
Nat: Give me some of that!
Darren: MY POPCORN!
Jack: You like vampires? But what about me?
Nat: This is going to be better than watching Fat Bastard sumo wrestle!
Jess: YOU CHEATER!
Maury: Let's bring out this Anamaria!
Darren: Better than soccer! Wait...I don't watch sports!
Nat: Me too!
Darren_
Nat_
Anamaria: Jack is MINE!
Jess: MINE!
Anamaria: MINE!
Jess: MINE!
Nat: BITCH-FIGHT!
Jack: I feel so loved!
Anamaria/Jess: SHUT UP!
Jess: You had better give him up right now, you...you...YOU WENCH!
Nat: OOOH!
Darren: Hehe...wench...hehe.
Nat: You sound like Butthead.
Darren: Hehehe.
Anamaria: GASP WENCH! WENCH? Well...Well...you...YOU FOUREYES!
Nat: I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!
Darren: Hehehe.
Nat: Hehehe.
Jess: mimicking Ooo, boo hoo, four eyes! YOU'RE A LOSER, ANAMARIA! GO BACK TO THE TAVERN YOU CAME FROM!
Nat: Litttttlllleeee whiittte girrrrrrl with gl-assss-esss!
Anamaria: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Jess: You bet I am!
Anamaria: But...no! It's not true! SAY IT ISN'T SO!
Nat: GO TO OPRAH!
Anamaria: SHUT UP!
Audience: Go to Oprah! Go to Oprah!
Jess: Heh heh heh. Score 1 for the White Girl!
Maury: This isn't Jerry Springer!
Maury: We're not in Chicago either! NEW YORK!
Audience: Oh.
Anamaria: I HATE YOU!
Audience: GO TO RICKY! GO TO RICKY!
Jess: I HATE YOU TOO!
Jess/Anamaria: to audience SHUT UP!
Jack: Now...ladies...please...
Anamaria: SLAP
Jack: I'm not sure I deserved that...
Jess: SLAP
Jack: Not quite sure I deserved THAT one, either...
Nat: SLAP!
Jess: You cheated on me! Of course you desered it!
Jack: WTF?
Darren:WTF!
Nat: I slapped him for cheating on my best friend with that wench!
Jess_
Nat_
Darren: Oh, okay_
Jess: highfives Nat
Jack: Ow...
Jess: This is it, Jack. You have to choose!
Anamaria: Yeah! Choose!
Nat: Go to Ellen DeGeneres's Show!
Audience: GO TO ELLEN! GO TO ELLEN!
Jess: EWWW!
Yike: OOOH MY HERO!
Anthony: But Yike...
Yike: Oh Anthony, I love you still!
Jack: I choose...I choose...
Jack: I don't know who to choose! WAH! cries
Jess/Anamaria: You don't love me?
Jess/Anamaria: Of course he doesn't love you!
Anthony: I love yike!
Jess: He married me!
Anamaria: He gave me a boat!
Jess: He MARRIED me!
Anamaria: He GAVE me a boat!
Anthony: singing I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say it's alright, I might need you to make the first stand, Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man!
Yike: girly sigh
Darren: That's it. I am tired of that fag stealing my songs!
Darren: He is singing it to that...AHHHHHHH! STALKER!
Darren: That's it...you're not invited to Brazil.
Anthony/Yike: WAH!
Nat: I agree!
Darren_
Nat_
Maury: Uh...you guys? This is the end of the show now...
Nat: Really?
Maury: Yeah.
Darren: Who are you going to pick, Jack?
Nat: Yeah, who?
Jack: I choose...I choose...
Jess/Anamaria:...
Jack: I choose you, Picachu!
Nat: Giggling uncontrollably
Darren: LOL!
Jess: WTF!
Anamaria: That's it, I'm leaving you!
Jack:...
Anamaria: I always knew that Barbossa was my type of man...
Nat/Darren: EWWWW!
Jess: WOW!
Yike: Sooo sexy!
Anthony: WTF!
Yike: Just kidding!
Anthony: Grrr.
Jess: Jack, so do you choose me then? I mean, Anamaria wants Barbossa...
Jack: Poppet! Hugs Jess
Nat: They're scaring me...let's go Darren...
Darren: singing You know I miss you, and this is all I wanna do. I know it doesn't sound too cool, but maybe I'm in love with you!
Nat_
Darren_
Jess: And she says we're scaring her jeez...at least Jack's not singing!
Jack: singing drunkly Hit me baby one more time! Jumps on the table and attempts to dance while singing
Jess: Okaaay then...nevermind!
Maury: And, remember, never cheat on Orlando Bloom, or you shall be on my show for a very long time trying to remember what country you're getting married in!
Darren: stops in mid-song I knew I loved you before I me-
Darren: HEY! I HEARD THAT! STUPID SHOW HOST!
Maury: What!
Darren: You heard me! I know what country I'm getting married in...it's Brazil! I told you guys, I was faking it to make Nat mad cuz it's funny when she's pissed!
Maury: Right.
Darren: It's true.
Nat: It is.
Maury: Whatever. All of you guys need to go to the Jerry Spinger show...you guys are too messed up!
Darren: Come on, Natalie...let's leave!
Nat: FINALLY!
Jess/Jack: YAY!
Darren: Let's all go on a cruise of the Caribbean!
Jack: We can use the Black Pearl!
Jess/Nat/Darren: Yeah!
Everyone_

The End.