Name: Sunburned-Stickperson

Gender: Perhaps a male, a sick and twisted young man. But all my friends (and I) think I'm female... Although others tend to disagree.

Race: Well, I've had some tell me I'm Asian, but my bloodline is predominantly German-Jew...

Location: Someplace with a computer, lost forever within the realms of my imagination...

Birthday: It's the second Thursday of next Tuesday!

Age: Creeping up there slowly...

Okay. Just saying. There's something I need to make sure you lot know.

I got friends.

Wonderful friends who read my stories before I post them.

And I have the worst memory ever.

So I want to say, "Thank you." 'Cause I'll never remember otherwise.

So... Thank you. All of you. My beta: Warfang. And other people who have generously helped me: Schmuzz, Ferafish, xCrackaDoodlex, One-shot.Dump, Hawk wing, Kyuohk, Novoux, Jayman102593, and HikariNoTenshi-San.

I think that's all, but it might not be. I'm sorry if I've forgotten you. Contact me?

But anyway, thank you so much for all of your help. Thank you. Thank you much. :D

And before I forget, (almost) all these stories came from the kinkmeme. It's a fair assumption to say they're all boy/boy.

One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords, and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, drew his gun, and stabbed the boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man--he saw it too. And if you don't believe the blind, ask the deaf: he heard it fine.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, "Why the early bird gets the worm," "Life isn't always fair," and "Maybe, it was my fault."

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is surpassed by his three stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.