If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

20 Things To Do At Walmart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in Housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go up to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping dept. and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding dept..

8. When a desk clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?".

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror. And pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting dept., ask the clerk if he knows where in anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. In the auto dept., practice your 'Madonna Look' using different funnels.

13. Hid in a clothing rack, and when people browse through it, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!".

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream... "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!".

15. Go inot a fitting room and wait a while, and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!".

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, GO!".

17. If you can, write 'I see dead people...' on all the typewriters.

18. Unwrap all the chocolate bars, saying, "I've got to find that golden ticket.".

19. Put a Dora the Explorer doll in the middle of the store, and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say, "SWIPER NO SWIPING!". But remember, you have to do it 3 times.

20. Throw Skittles at people and shout, "Taste the Rainbow!".

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

Other little sayings and crap

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the heck alone!

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

"Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?"

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity"

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking"

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

"A word to the wise isn't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"I forgot to remember."

"Silence is golden but Duct tape is silver"

Of course I'm talking to myself...who else can I trust?

Yo Mamma is so fat, even Naruto doesn't believe it.

Legally, it's questionable. Morally, it's disgusting. Personally, I like it.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

It's funnier now that I get it.

Will eat for food.

They don't know that we know they know we know.

It's a shame stupidity isn't painful...

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Common sense is not so common.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

“There is a sense in which we are all each other's consequences.”
Wallace Stegner