I am posting storys because my brain is about to pop and I think if I don't ill wake up with brains all over the floor. I live in Arkansas and its REALLY boring. also im trying to become goth but i sofar have gotten no where. My fave couler is black or red.My fave food is steak. I like to think im in my own privite world but i never get that wish. Somone help me i dont now how long i can take life anymore.

I love:
Inuyasha
Ouren HSHC
Maxamum ride
Wallflower
D.N. Angel
Junjou romantica
Fullmetal alchemist
Code geass
Death note
Harry Potter
Volicoid
Durarara
Shungo Chara
Kaichou wa Maid-sama
Sukisho
Kingdom Hearts
Ikoku Irokoi Romantica
Naruto
Love pistols
Pokemon
Loveless
Monochrome factor
Senstive Pornagraph
Tales of Vesperia
Tales of the Abyss
Tales of Symphonia Dawn of the New World
Fushigi Yuugi
Black Butler (Kuroshitsugi)
Vampire Knight
Shall we date (App series)
Fate Stay Night
Bleach

Songs of awsomness
Don't stop by innerpartysystem
Love me or hate me by lady sovereign
Judas by lady gaga
City by hollywood undead
Your gonna go far kid by the offspring
Don't mess with me by temposhark
Love's me not by t.a.t.u
Monster by skillet
Monster remix by meg and dai
Clowns by t.a.t.u
Bruises and bitemarks by good with gernades
Disgusting by kesha
Boy like you by kesha
Love me dead by Ludo
Shut me up by mindless self indulgence
This is war by 30 seconds to mars
In the end by linkin park
I'm not afraid by eminem
Rude boy by rihanna
Its not me its you by skillet
Hit the floor by linkin park
Awake and alive by skillit
Breaking the habit by linkin park
Celtic requiem urban remix by elliot simons
Last resort by papa roach
Stupid MF by Mindles Self Indulgence
Phenomenon by Thousand Foot Krutch
Move by Thousand Foot Krutch

Writings:

Never Asked For (Deleted of FF.net)
Love Hurts (Stopped updating until someone tells me if i should keep writing it)
Mine (Complete)
When Kaoru Hits Mating Season (Coming soon)
What Happens When Kaoru Fights Back (Complete)
What Happens When Kaoru's Gone (Complete)
Black and White Can't Mix (Complete)
Invisible Lines You Shouldn't Mix (Complete)
When The Secrets Out (Complete)

"I met a young man who was wounded in love, I met another man who was wounded in hatred." - Bob Dylan

Chibi Seme

Mischievous, loyal, and intelligent, the Chibi Seme always seems to have a quiet energy whispering around them, suggesting that there is much more to them then what there first appears to be. Laid-back, and not one to call a lot of attention to themselves, they tend to guard their creative, forceful, (and somewhat manipulative) inner self behind an easygoing and playful exterior shell, which makes it impossible for most to truly know them. It takes a special Uke personality to see into the Chibi Seme's deep hidden self and release their sensual side, but once the Chibi Seme has let in that one special person, they will be forever loyal, loving, and protective.

A Chibi Seme will never be completely happy with just the ordinary. Setting themselves somewhat apart from the rest of the world, they need someone like-minded to keep them challenged intellectually and spiritually - a partner to inspire their dark naughty adventures and give them the motivation to take control.The Chibi Seme personality best (but not always) corresponds with these associations:

Japanese Element:Wind

Chinese Zodiac:Dog

Color:Camouflage

Fruit:Kiwi

Dessert:Cheesecake

Theme Song: MH by Kra

. FIRST NAME:-Lauren

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?- Nope

3. SIBLING NAMES: I have none

4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Idk

5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDS? I love them

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT?- idk...

7. KIDS? Nope

8. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?- No I'd be to scared

9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? No...

10. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? That is the only languge i speak

11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?-Nope! They ran away!

12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?-I would like to!

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?-I like frosted flakes

14. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU REMOVE THEM?-Nah. Unless they are my docs. They are the only shoes I put neatly.

15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?- I'm stronger then the weakst person.

16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?-I like all ice cream! I can't choose!

17. SHOE SIZE?- Not saying.

18. RED OR PINK?-Red. I really hate pink...

19. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?- My stomach. Apart from that I'm happy with who I am.

20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?- I don't linger on those sad thoughts.

21. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO PUT THIS IN THERE PROFILE?-YEAH!!!!

22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING- Black pants,brown shoes

23. LAST THING YOU ATE?-Cookie

24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?- My family talking

25. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?-I'd be black!

26. FAVORITE SMELL?- ...

27. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?-My best friend.

28. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?- Their personality. Humor mostly.

29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?-I just copy and pasted this...

30. FAVORITE DRINK?-Tea.

31. FAVORITE SPORT?-Basketball, the best sport ever.

32. EYE COLOR?-Green/Hazil take your pick

33. HAT SIZE?-They have different sized hats? Wow I didn't know that. I don't wear hats.

34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?-No.

35. FAVORITE FOOD?-Chicken and dumplings

36. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?-Neither

37. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE?-The help

38. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?-I just wear clothes I really don't care...

39. SUMMER OR WINTER?-Winter. Summer kills me.

40. HUGS OR KISSES?-Hugs.

41. FAVORITE DESSERT?- Ice cream

Seriously, Justin Beiber looks like a 10 year old but he's 16. Let's face it. He's Peter Pan. Copy and paste if you agree.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

copy this to your profile if you are against abortion!

If you can read this, c

A life is a life

born or unborn

perfect or unperfect

blind or not blind

deaf or undeaf

young or old

God didn't give it to us just to get

rid of it ourselves by

murder or abortion

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Please repost this if you will.

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything that she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dieing
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Laying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry That I cared

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 93 of you people that read this won't repost

A child dies every day from child abuse. And if you have an ounce of pity in you for little Auroura and you hate child abuse with a passion you will help out those abused children and let them know that someone cared for them.copy this and put it on your profile and copy and paste it to make an e-mail to send to every one that you know.together we can save little kids like auroura

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc., copy this into your profile. Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal eletrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile!

If George W. Bush is getting on your nerves for various reasons, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you really dislike homophobes saying that yaoi and yuri are unholy and that we're all going to hell, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think plagiarism is a stupid, pointless crime, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list: PhantomInvader, Nightcrawler's Shadow, Never3kno, Blackblooddoomwolf

If you realize that this ain't a scene, it's an arms race, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you don't believe this statistic, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

copy and paste it into your profile

Things that make me laugh

omu oh my unicorn: by Shalya

Dogs are cute cuddley and could bite your hand off in an instent: by random dude in my class

"Have you always been blind." "No." "how did you become blind." "Stared dirctly at the sun like your parnits tell you not to do man i should of listened." Iggy maxum ride schools out forever

"Whats that?" "A door." "NO DUHH!!!" Friends first day to school

"You first." Tomix points at the dugen door." You just want me to distract any monsters that might be in there." "Yes." "I can do that. CHARGE!!!!!!" My character Blackblood and Tomix in dragonfable.

click "That didnt sound good. Was that..." "The door." Tomix summens gaint black power and rams it into the door. Click click click"i think you just locked it more." Also by my character Blackblood and Tomix in Dragonfable.

"SQUIRL!!!!!!" Emily everday :b

"What did i do to deserve this." "Nothing but you still got it be happy."

My personel play by me and my BSFL [Emily]

Fang:"This rock holds my soul. Be very carfull with it." hands Yuyu the rock.

Yuyu: "DIE!!!!!!" crashs rock.

Fang: Slaps forhead "Can i get Yuki."

Yuki: walks forward.

Fang "This rock holds my soul. Be very carfull with it." hands Yuki the rock.Begins walking away "Ill be back."

Yuki: "WOOPS!!!" drops rock.

Fang:"Jasmine!!" pinchs bridge of nose.

Jasmine: Walks up.

Fang: "This rock holds my soul. And if you hurt it i will hunt you down and kill you!!!" Hands Jasmine rock.

2 minutes later

Jasmine: "Hey an acorn." Eats rock.

Fang: Storms out.

Yuyu, Yuki, and Jasmine: Fall over laughing

This is a story about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, copy and paste this into your profile:

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

And you can help sickens me to the soul
Because you must be one cruel person if you can help
Yet you don't
So please, if you are against Child Abuse, re-post this on to your profile!

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is loser cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

If you want a gay friend and proud of their courage copy and paste this

HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag everyday.

I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transseaxual.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family i have ever had. I wished they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.

I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.

I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.

Iam the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized i was transsexual.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because i don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.

I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.

I am the girl to scared to tell anyone about my true love for my best friend

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.

I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG- REPOST THIS

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY WHEN...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

If you've ever asked a really stupid and obvious question, copy and past this into your profile

If you've ever answered a rhetorical question, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

Too many people have died because of other's "needs" of fame and fortune. If you care, copy and paste this into your profile

I want child abuse to stop. If you do too, copy and paste this into your profile

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

-I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

A Good and Best Friend:

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend has a long, normal conversation with you. A best friend has a pointless conversation with you that lasts all night and still has you laughing the next day.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will listen to what you say while your best friend will listen to what you did not say

A friend will make you feel better when your mad, but a best friend will run and shout, " move she's pissed!"

A good friend hands you your shoe if it falls off. best friend grabs your shoe and runs around the room with it,screaming "Ha, ha, loser!"

Good Friend-Helps you up if you fall down. Best Friend-Will stand beside you laughing, because they pushed you you over in the first place.

Good Friend-Will rush over right away to comfort you if you're house burns down. Best Friend-Will be roasting marshmallows over the coals and flirting with the firemen.

Good Friend-Will pay your bail if you're arrested for DUI. Best Friend-Is sitting in the cell beside you, saying "Great party, huh?"

Good Friend-Will call your parents by their first names. Best Friend-Will call your parents 'Mom' and 'Dad'.

Good Friend-Knocks on your door and wits for you to answer. Best Friend-Walks right in and says "Mom, I'm home!"

Good Friend-Acts like a guest at your house. Best Friend-Raids your refridgerator and makes themselves at home.

Good Friend-Will watch what's already on the TV. Best Friend-Will wrestle your little brother for the remote.

Good Friend-Waits for you after school if you get detention. Best Friend-Will get themselves in trouble just to land themselves in detention to keep you company.

Good Friend-Will help you with your chores. Best Friend-Will stand behind you and say "You missed a spot."

Good Friend-Will lend you money and not expect you to pay them back. Best Friend-Will lend you money and then charge interest.

Good Friend-Will comfort you if your boyfriend breaks up with you. Best Friend-Will say "Be right back", go out with a baseball bat, come back at 3:00 in the morning and say "It's all been taken care of."

Good Friend-Will have little "inside jokes" with you. Best Friend- Will randomly break out laughing because of some "inside joke" you guys had last week.

Good Friend-Will come and get you if you call to say you're lost. Best Friend-Will call you an idiot for not asking directions.

Good Friend-Will try to talk you out of bungee-jumoing off the Empire State Building. Best Friend-Will tie the bungee cord themselves and then push you off.

Good Friend-Disagrees if you say words can't hurt you. Best Friend- Hits you over the head with the dictionary to prove you wrong.

Good Friend-Would give you the last life jacket on a sinking ship. Best Friend-Would say "I hope you can swim, and if not, I'll really f*ing miss you."

Good Friend-Will ask if you're okay, and when you say "I'm fine" they'll drop it. Best Friend-Will ask if you're okay, and when you say "i'm fine", they'll look you in the eye and say "Okay, now tell the truth."

-FRIEND- BORROWS YOUR THINGS AND THEN GIVES IT BACK -BEST FRIEND- HAS A CLOSET FULL OF YOUR STUFF

a good friend will let u dance with ur boyfriend a best friend will scream " NO! u cant have her, shes mine!"

a good friend when u cry, will ask whats wrong a best friend would have already killed the person who made u cry

good friend's are inseperable but best friends can stay seperated and nothing changes

a good friend will ask whats wrong when ur crying a best friend will already know ur sad when u show no face expression

or if you smiled at one of these things

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

More Copy and Paste Shit:

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder (uh-oh)

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.(lol. I found this on someone's profile, and I remember thinking when I was little that if I ran into the Trix rabit, I would give him some Trix)

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you,copy and paste this onto your profile

A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

I swear to Drunk I'm not God, Occifer!

Come to the dark side. We have anime (and cookies)!

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

A conclusion in what you reach when you get tired of thinking.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Normal people worry me.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. (On My dad's side) I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. (EVERY1 HAS A BIT OF NATIVE AMERICAN BLOOD IN THEM! GRRR PEOPLES!) I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals. I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (This one pisses me off the most) I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. (On my mom's side) I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. (Not sure if they are talking about religions but I am on this one) I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse. I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. (Maybe loud-mouthed lol) I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep. I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy. I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins. I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan. I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (I'm not the only person) I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s. (No but I wish I was... -tear-) I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times. I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake. I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

Jeez...I have a crap load of stereotypes...But seriously, I WISH I was Australian...I wanna go there so friggin BAD!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don’t have a problem with bisexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've read all seven Harry Potter book out loud in a fake british accent just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever been obsessed with something even if it gave you horrifying nightmares, copy and paste this to your profile ((Jurassic Park))

If gym class kills all your self-esteem, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

15 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart

1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf

2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price

4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"

5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!"

6-start a fish stick fight

7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!"

8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!"

9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do

10-slip a bra and a lacey pink thong into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him)

11-attempt to fly off a high shelf

12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store

13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line

14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section

15-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8..

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Flubbed Headlines

these are real goofed up Head lines what do you think they were really trying to say

JUDGE NOT CONVINCED MURDER VICTIM IS ALIVE (Isn't a murder victim dead in the first place)

11 HIGH STUDENTS SCORE PERFECT GRADE (and they said drugs hurt your grades)

MAN KILLED OVER PHONE(parents should tell this to there teens to get them to stop texting)

POLICEMAN SHOOTS MAN WITH KNIFE(What the Heck!!)

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH (zombie workers on strike?)

If you joined the Dark Side because we have cookies, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would stand up for your favourite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Amethystaquamarine34azure, Nightcrawler's Shadow, never3kno, Blackblooddoomwolf {I dont care about kog/kag seshy/kag wll rule forever so koga can go walk into a pit of lava for all i care}

If you've ever gone into a mini rant (such as I just did) about your favorite pairings, copy and paste this onto your profile and name your favorite ship: Sesshy/Kag [Inuyasha]

98% of people have swiched to liking rap music post this to your profile if you are the 2% that doesn't give a shit what everyone else listens to as long as you're jammin' to your own beat.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Those who are racist are afraid of the unknown. Those who suffer because of racism are given the short end of the stick. If you wish to use said stick against racists, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are constantly misspelling just on your computer as 'jsut' copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

Fun Things To Do In An ELEVATOR!

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

24) 'friend needed' do number 22 then 20 seconds after you say that have you friend fall down and act like he/she is having a seasure then say in same voice "That one was too weak" then look at all other passengers evily. *evil grin* it'll be fun to watch their reaction!

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (I have proven this)

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.

If you have stayed on the computer literally all day taking absolutely no breaks whatsoever, except bathroom breaks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had the urge to jump into your TV and correct whatever mistakes your favorite characters have made, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish writing fanfiction was a school subject, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think bananas are odd fruits, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to talk like your favorite character (with an accent), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever mouthed the words to your favorite movie and/or TV show just to piss off your friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.(I'm pretty sure I live by this rule)

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

Every time you open your mouth, you get in trouble. Alternatively, just stick up your middle finger under the table.

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had

Yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

Things That Piss Me Off...
-Jonas Brothers
-People who start a fantastic fic and stop writing after the second chapter.
-Bipolar People
-Alcoholic beverages(BOOZE)
-Any type of vomit.
-Bugs
-Tunnels
-The Voices
-Snobby People
- People that think they know everything about a book, when they JUST read it
- kog/kag
- the lack of Kurt in Wolverine and the X Men
- inu/kikyo

"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

If you've ever lit a fireproof substance on fire copy/paste. It's fun, especially when you actually DO light said substance on fire. There is no such thing as non flammable...(yeah it's not a reassuring thought)

If you like being different and don't care what those jerks at school say put this onyour profile and add your name below:Shadow Kitty 22, -Gasp- Dead Deer, Nightcrawler's Shadow, never3kno Blackblooddoomwolf

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God! ftw?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live. Dorothy Parker

We real cool. We
Left school. We

Lurk late. We
Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We
Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We
Die soon. Gwendolyn Brooks

What a grand thing, to be loved!
What a grander thing still, to love! Victor Hugo

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the apple's a rose,
And the pear is, and so's
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only know
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose--
But were always a rose. Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. Robert Frost

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your signature. (Well. Computer.) blackbloodbaby blackblooddoomwolf