You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
you say team Edward
I say team Potter
You say Robert Pattinson
I say 'is Cedric Diggory'
You say Pattinson is hot
I say Tom Felton is ~HOTTER
you think Bella & Edward is the perfect dream couple?
I think that's me and Lucius

You say Jasper Rathbone
I say are you mental?
You say EDWARD SPARKLES
I laugh at how childish you are
You say Renesme Cullen, the Half-Blood Vampire
I say Severus Snape, the Half-Blood Prince
You say Stephanie Myer
I say J.K. Rowling
You say Edward
I say Harry, now SHUT UP!!

If you cried during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile

If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.

If you cried when Dobby died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), copy and paste this into your profile

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this

If you think Remus Lupin deserves more cuddles than Jacob Black, copy this to your profile.

If you wanted to punch Remus Lupin in the gut for thinking that he was "too old" for Tonks, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree that Tonks is a way better nickname than Dora (as in Nymphadora), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree Pansy Parkinson should be sent to a Dog Kennel, copy and paste this to your profile.

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Isn’t the English language wonderful!

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.If you think that you are awesome, put this in your profile.
If you know someone that should be run over by a bus put this in your profile.
If you have called any of your friends insane, put this in your profile.
If you have called any of your friends insane more than once, put this in your profile.
If you read crack pairing and crack crossovers put this in your profile.
If you are on the computer for over 20 hours a week, put this in your profile.
If you fear the men in white, put this in your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you believe that those damn kids should give the Trix Rabbit their cereal, copy this onto your profile
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who do know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile.
If you noticed that whoever Elizabeth Swan kisses dies copy and paste this in your profile. (Jack, Will, her father, Norrington, ect..
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives what’s so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
A true friend is someone who will who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, TheDevilsAngel93 xD, krakengirl, Destiny Writes, Unwritten.25, Kathy5645

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend(s) is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.
If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

I really need to learn to just add finished fics to my favorites... sigh Well I'm a lost cause I suppose ;)

Basic shi-I mean stuff:

I'm a lazy, grumpy teen who wishes life was just eat, fanfiction, sleep, repeat. Fanfiction is more addictive than pistachios (have you ever eaten just one?). My muse is a slave driver pumped full of monster and I have like 30 billion unfinished stories (its bloody awful). I would rather have my nose in a book than covered in make-up. I'm real and down to Earth (except when the plot bunnies hit me) and my friends don't give a shit about who wore what when (oooh admire my alliteration). I probably have ADD cause I flit from one thing to another (its a wonder i get my HW done). I'm the girl that stays up until 4am reading fanfics and can still get up at 6:30 right as rain.

50 Best reasons Gay Marriage is wrong!

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, birth control and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all: women are property, matches are arranged in childhood, blacks can't marry whites, Catholics can't marry Jews, divorce is illegal, and adultery is punishable by death
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. If we look to the word of God, His punishment for sexual immorality is equal to that of murder. Therefore, teaching kids to tolerate homosexuality is equal to teaching them to tolerate murder.
10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy (insurance, government, tourism, banking, retail, education, and social services), suburban malls, or longer life spans.
12. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
13. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “seperate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
14. There is no separation between religious marriage and legal marriage, because there is no separation of church and state.
15. Devout, faithful Anglicans should never accept same-sex marriage, because it is an affront to the traditional family values upheld by Henry VIII and his wife, Catherine of Aragon, and his wife, Anne Boleyn, and his wife, Jane Seymour, and his wife, Anne of Cleves, and his wife, Catherine Howard, and his wife, Catherine Parr. They all knew the meaning of marriage and none of them lost their heads over the matter.
16. Married gay people will encourage others to be gay, in a way that unmarried gay people do not.
17. Legalizing gay marriage will lead to legalizing dog marriage. This can be inferred from the history of other political initiatives for gender equality. For example, when American women got the right to vote in 1920, it led to terriers voting in 1925, and when Title IX was passed in 1972 to prevent sex discrimination in any federally-funded school, resulting in the creation of athletic opportunities for girls, it led to Bichon Frises on the basketball court during the Reagan administration.
18. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to legislative change in general, which could possibly include the legalization of polygamy, incest, medical marijuana, and unmuzzled pit bulls. Because we don’t know what might come down the next slippery slope, we should never change any law.
19. Legal marriage will inspire gays to mimic straight traditions, such as spiritual commitment ceremonies and celebratory parties, which is currently impermissible for them to do and which they have never done before.
20. Marriage is designed to protect the well-being of children. Gay people do not need marriage because they never have children from prior relationships, artificial insemination, surrogacy, or adoption.
21. Civil unions are a good option because "separate but equal" institutions are always constitutional. In fact, compared with marriage, civil unions are so attractive that straight people are calling dibs on them.
22. A man should not be able to marry whomever a woman can marry, and a woman should not be able to marry whomever a man can marry, because in this country we do not believe in gender equality.
23. If gays marry, some of straight people's tax dollars would end up supporting families whose structure they may find morally objectionable. Clearly, it is more just to continue taking gay people's tax dollars to support straight families, who are going to heaven regardless of what anyone else thinks of them.
24. Gays should hold off on the marriage question until society is more accepting of them, because they are not part of society.
25. The people's voice must be heard on this issue. Therefore, we must have a vote on a federal constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, because we can't think of any other way to discuss the issue.
26. Each state should decide for itself whether gay marriage will be recognized, because there is no "full faith and credit" clause that requires states to recognize each other's institutions.
27. Gay marriage attempts to replace natural heterosexual instinct with a cultural institution. Morality demands that we subordinate institutionalized commitment to raw, unfettered, biological impulse.
28. Gay marriages could very well suffer maladies like domestic violence and substance abuse. That's why we invented the Quality Control department to pre-approve the righteousness of all marriage applicants.
29. Those who support gay marriage aim to overthrow the dominant culture, as evidenced by their enthusiasm to participate in it.
30. If the state performs gay marriages, Christians might become more liberal and divide into more mutually opposed parties. Since the government is an arm of the church and is responsible for keeping the peace in Christian leadership councils, it should not get involved with gay marriage.
31. After gay marriage was legalized in Scandinavian countries in 2004, more heterosexual couples realized they wanted to live together and bear children without marrying first. Banning gay marriage is a good way to prevent this practice, as is banning independent thought and mandating straight marriage by age 21.
32. Heterosexual marriage was invented in the Biblical book of Genesis. Written somewhere between 1500 and 500 BCE, Genesis came as a great relief to people in many cultures, such as China, who, prior to 1500 BCE, sat around waiting for the Mesopotamians to invent the family unit.
33. Gay marriage would allow more partners and children to sign onto the family breadwinner's healthcare plan. Given that 44 million Americans do not have health insurance, it is safe to say that health insurance is not an American value.
34. The possibility of getting a gay marriage might encourage some married heterosexuals to divorce and seek a gay union instead. These marriages were obviously happy and successful, and the justices who provide gay second marriages should be charged with alienation of affection.
35. Gay marriage may hurl the populace into existential crisis and cause spontaneous divorces. Divorce triggers our moral hemorrhaging, but we will keep it legal. It is easier to seek the criminalization of gay marriage than the criminalization of divorce, particularly because most of us have had a few divorces.
36. Gay marriage is tainted because some of the applicants might be divorcees marrying for the second time. We oppose remarriage, and would like to ensure that no one marries more than once; therefore we will oppose the entire institution of marriage, to ensure that no one ever marries at all. That casts the net wide enough to catch all the would-be second-timers.
37. The people have the right to demand to vote on a Massachusetts constitutional amendment against gay marriage. There is no reason for proposed amendments to go through the state Legislature first, as is constitutionally required, because the Legislature doesn't spend all that many paid hours sitting around discussing the legal ramifications on behalf of ordinary citizens who are too busy with their own jobs to figure out everything at stake.
38. The arguments for gay marriage are flawed because Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry has made inconsistent statements about gay marriage, and he is known for his consistency on other issues.
39. Married gay couples will find it easier to adopt children, who might then be bullied and teased by other children for who their parents are. This reflects poorly on the judgment of gays who adopt children with the risk that their child could possibly be teased. It does not, of course, imply anything about the responsibilities of heterosexual parents, whose children only pick up rocks for geological interest and couldn't have been listening when their parents made those comments about their neighbors.
40. Children of married gay couples might suffer bullying and teasing more often than children of unmarried gay couples, because playground bullies are sensitive to the nuances of contract law.
41. It is reasonable and fair to institute "civil unions" that provide all the rights and responsibilities of marriage, but we cannot apply the holy, mystical word "marriage" to this contract. Deriving from the Latin maritare, "marriage" evokes the dignity of the typical Roman man who engaged in licentious sex with both sexes until he reached middle age, at which time he maritared a teenage girl to bear his children.
42. According to the three proposed "compromise" Massachusetts constitutional amendments defeated by the Legislature on Feb. 11 and 12, 2004, the best way to "protect the unique relationship of heterosexual marriage" is to institute civil unions that are in every way identical to it.
43. God created the institution of marriage, just after he created 2.9 APR automobile financing, student loans, HMOs, and divorce.
44. We must defer to the President's opinion on gay marriage, since the Republican party was given its authority by God. As it is written: "Republican and Democrat created He them." Paul elaborated: "Democrats, submit to the Republican."
45. In San Francisco, where renegade officials have married same-sex couples for the past several weeks, experts suggest that the city may suffer an earthquake in about ten years. Geological experts, that is. But good Christians don't recognize the opinion of Earth scientists, who falsely claim the Earth is 4.5 billion years old; they get their seismic information from their preachers, who say the earthquake's coming next week.
46. Allowing same-sex marriage could increase gay public displays of affection, because marriage has historically been proven to stimulate couples' interest in sex.
47. Making civil marriage available to same-sex couples could spur the wedding industry, and businesses would sure hate to pay taxes on all that profit.
48. Straight men are opposed to gay marriage because they would prefer that gay men try to be straight and compete with them for access to women, trimming down the pool of eligible dates to make courtship more challenging and exciting.
49. The country can't afford to provide benefits for any more married couples. That's why President Bush would never consider spending 150 million on programs that encourage more straight people to get married.
50. Gay marriage is wrong because children might be led to think that it is right and that would clearly be wrong.

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Post this in your profile if you believe Homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _"
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Favorite Pairings

Harry/Draco

Harry/Lord Voldemort/Tom Riddle (yes I like this pairing)

Harry/Severus

Fred/George

Ron/Hermione

Fred/Harry

George/Harry

Remus/Sirius

Sirius/Harry

Sirius/Severus

Severus/Remus

Severus/Tom Riddle

Favorite Draco Character:

Eyes are silver normally and swirling mercury in lust

Hair is long enough to do an emo hair fip

Is extremly kinky

Likes strong coffee and a stronger drink

Six feet tall or taller

Lithely muscled, nicely sculpted abs and biceps

Is very arrogant and confident in public, but slightly more shy and fun loving in private

Owns several pairs of incredibly sexy dragonhide trousers (remember: leather squeaks)

Has several matrix-style trenchcoats

Hates most muggle things (but has a secret stash of kick ass movies; The Matrix included)

Wears high-quality clothes but has comfy sweatpants and cotton t-shirts hidden in his closet

Is protective and extremly possesive of what is his (but nobody minds cause they wants to be his)

Cold, snarky, quick-witted, sarcastic, cruel, dark and vicious towards his enemies

Snarky, quick-witted, sarcastic, loving, sweet, romantic, caring, protective and deeply in love with his special person

Can cook (but only cause he kicks ass at potions)

He tastes of cinammon and the forest

He's the kind of guy that will be told there's no Santa but still insist on writing letters every year

Would disobey his parents and the Dark Lord if it meant saving the person he loved

Favorite Severus Snape Character:

His eyes are onyx

Cold, snarky, sarcastic, acerbic, biting towards others and his enemies

Snarky, sarcastic, loving, romantic, protecticve, and possessive towards those he loves

Around 6'2"

Black non-greasy hair down to his shoulders

Firmly sculpted abs and biceps

Wears all black robes in the finest cloth

Secretly owns several pairs of sweatpants and cotton t-shirts

Secretly owns extremly sexy muggle clothes (in other colors)

Tastes like sandalwood and spices

Can't cook worth shit, but is masterful with potions

Is the kind of guy that would skip a potions convention just to have a romantic dinner with you

Would betray all he knows if it meant to save his love from danger

Knows how to act in any kind of situation

Quotes:

Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
--Frieda Norris

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
--Anonymous

Once I had a handle on life; then it broke
--Anonymous

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
--Mark Twain

Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head.
--Unknown

"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die."
--Isaac Asimov

He was so narrow-minded that he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
--Unknown

People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they are exactly like the old ones.
--Charles F. Kettering

"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indisctincly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
--Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the pouring rain.
--Unknown

Books are always better than real, live boyfriends any day of the week. They don't talk back and they're always there for you. You can have as many of them as you want and they won't complain.
--Unknown

"The best advice I can give you is to ignore advice. Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others."
--Unknown

"If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them."
--Unknown

"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his."
--George S. Patton

"An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before."
--Mark Twain

You are unique just like everybody else
--Sign

We've got men, we've got rockets, we've got Saran Wrap; fix it!
--Lewis Black (referring to the Ozone Layer)

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
--Anon (Amen!)

A friend will console you when you're rejected by that person you like, but a REAL friend would march right up to them and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
--Anon

Well behaved women rarely make history.
--Unknown

"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly stupid."
--Jack Sparrow

“How about this? The chances are better for Snape to suddenly declare his open armed support for inter-house unity by standing in the middle of a busy hallway and shouting ‘HOUSE UNITY HUG SANDWICH! SLYTHERIN MEAT!’ at which point Sirius and Remus could come up and warmly cuddle him in their arms simultaneously to which he would reply ‘I’m warm and toasty like pastrami caressed with wonder bread.’”
--Elvin Child by labarynth-mind

“Whatever my grievances, Headmaster,” She said in a dead-on impression of Dumbledore. “I am sure I can address them best by pinning you to the outer wall of your castle and skinning you alive. Knife?” She asked in the exact same tone Dumbledore had used and opened her cloak to reveal lines and lines of glittering weapons.
--Had I Known by kalyl silverstorm

"We could summon Death, point to Voldemort and say 'that one'."
Severus kept a straight face. "I hadn't considered that."
--Pursuing by Kayelle

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Fish are friends, not food.

Twilight - Proof that shiny things attract idiots.

When life gives you lemons, keep them. Hey, I mean, free lemons, right?

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

It's fun until somebody gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

"Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."