Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Gurl: Hiding from you.

Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Gurl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Guy: Is this seat empty?
Gurl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Guy: Your place or mine?
Gurl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Gurl: I'm a female impersonator.

Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Gurl: Do not enter.

Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Gurl: Unfertilized.

Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Gurl: Sorry, there are no services today.

Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Gurl: But would you stay there?

Guy : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Gurl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Gurl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.

(if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile)

Friends & Best Friends

FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this

Love vs. Sex

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe in
God..

Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

Seven days without GOD will make one weak.

Why do we ((sleep)) in church,
But stay ((awake)) through a 2 hour movie?
Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about God,
but so ((easy)) to Gossip?
Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a Christian magazine,
but find it ((easy)) to read Playboy?
Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a Godly Facebook Wall Post,
Yet we ((repost)) the nasty ones?
Why are ((churches)) getting smaller,
But ((bars and clubs)) are growing?
Think about it, are you going to repost this?
Are you going to ignore it, cause you think you'll get laughed at?
Would You Have Read This if it Said... Read This In Gods Name.

80 percent of you wont repost this.

Jesus Christ said:

"If you deny me in front of your friends I will deny you in front of my father"

John 3:16 is the most known verse across the world.

For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,

but have everlasting life