Who am I? Married, thirty something language geek. Chronically exhausted and perpetually procrastinating stay at home mother to 2 small children. Thanks to Twilight and some bloody (hehe!) fantastic fan fiction, these qualities have only gotten worse. I am also an opera singer. In my 'spare' time derived from my finely honed procrastination skillz, I blog and write both non-fiction and fiction. I don't know if I'll ever have the balls to share some of it here, but you never know.

Likes: Canon; AU; AH; BxE; BxJas; Smut with a capital ‘S’; slash; Guinness; coffee; BBC; Zola; Austen; Brontë sisters; Masterpiece Theater; Holden Caulfield; Star Trek; chucks; holiday newsletters that I can mock; Dexter; vintage clothing; spoons as bracelets; comma abuse; practically all music (Okay, I lied. Some country and hip hop has been known to make me have a "white flash moment" à la Lost, minus the cool time warp. Other than that, we're all good.)

Dislikes: incorrect spelling; anything Jacob; rape/bondage fics of any kind; clichés; slow drivers; smoking; singing at weddings; singing Ave Maria at weddings (C'mon people, let's think outside the box!); Sanctimommies; cliques; people who never stop talking; that woman who wears full makeup to the gym

Special Note: If you use a language other than English in your story, please make sure that it is not only grammatically correct, but that the meaning is accurate also. Literal translations often do not work, and this is especially true with idiomatic expressions. If possible, find a native speaker of that language to help you. Pretty please with a male Cullen of your choice on top!

Waiting for updates:

BxE:

A Rough Start

An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy

Daniel Gale: Cumming to America

Emancipation Proclamation

Hydraulic Level 5

La Canzone della Bella Cigna

Master of the Universe

Open Door Policy

Other Side of the Door

Sanctuary

Silver Strand Nights

Strange Bedfellows

The Cannabean Betrothal

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan

The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep

The University of Edward Masen

To Be Read:

A House of Cards

A War of Cynics

A World Without Sound

Bare

Blind

Boy in the Red Sweater

Boycotts and BarFlies

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Burn and Shine

Abbracciare il Cantante

Coming to Terms

Creature of Habit

Cullen's island

Dark Side of the Moon

Dearly Departed

Deconstructing Dracula

Discommode

Elemental

Endless Pain

Equal & Opposite

Fault

Fourteen

Geek Love

High Anxiety

Holding Out For You

I Hate You with an Insurmountable Passion

I'll Be Your Lover Too

Intersection

Let Your Light Shine

Love Amongst the Ruins

Memoria in Aeterna

My Yes, My No

No Trust in Tomorrow

Olympic Rain and Novocain

Over The Top

Perfect Strangers

Pieces of Time

Save You

Shadowboxer

Shadows

Strange Days

Stranger Than Fiction

The Dominant

The Emperors of Washington

The Forbidden Room

The Gentleman from Washington State

The List

THE TEENAGE ANGST BRIGADE

The Tutor

The Trip Home

Tides

Tripod

Tropic of Virgo

Trust in Advertising

Unraveled Knot

You Get Me Closer To God

Complete Fics I've Read:

Behind Enemy Lines

Cascade and Cyanide

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor

Eight Days A Week

How To Save a Life

Mr Horrible

Mutually Assured Destruction

Poughkeepsie

Scotch, Gin and The New Girl

Sleepers, Awake: Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme

The Office

The Submissive

The Velveteen Mother

Wide Awake