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Profile update - 9/14/10

"Hello dearest readers,

I am terribly sorry to disappoint you with one of those worthless little author note chapters, which we all dislike, but I thought it would be polite to at least give you a bit of warning, and sometimes it helps to voice things... And, that way you won't be tempted to think that I've either abandoned you, or dropped off the face of the earth, or died... haha.

My computer (as I think I mentioned in the author note in at least one of my stories) had a virus. I can now happy inform you that the virus is well and truly gone (I hope) from my wonderful computer.

That would be the silver lining in this particular massive bank of storm clouds which is currently deriving great amusement from hovering directly above my head. Yes, it comes complete with lightning, thunder, and a lot of rain.

I backed up all my files onto a portable hard-drive before I wiped my computer, but I had absolutely no idea that they were encrypted. The person who used the computer before me had changed the settings and then forgotten to change them back, etc. Such is human nature I suppose. At any rate, I didn't know that I needed to find the key and back that up as well, in order to be able to access ANY of my files.

They are right there at my fingertips, but, try as I might, I cannot get them back. I'm looking around lots of different places in an attempt to discover a way that I can by-pass it or something, but so far most of my sources tell me that my files are all gone. For good.

(If any of you know anything about encrypted files, can you send me a review, or a message or something? I would love to be able to chat with someone who knows even a little about it...)

As I am sure most of you can appreciate, this discovery has been a very tragic one. All of my stories, all of my plots, all of the notes I had, all the stories that I had started, but hadn't figured out enough of to be able to post anywhere. I had pages and pages and pages absolutely brimming with notations, which would one day have become best-selling novels, I can feel it (part of why I wrote them down in the first place...)

Four years of my life were in those files. I know that might not seem like a lot to some of you, but it's a hard loss for a young adult.

Naturally, this had to happen during the first week back at school too. There are definitely moments when I am absolutely positive that my life hates me.

And now, a strange thing has happened somewhere in my head. I think I am still in denial, or possibly even shock over the loss (so far it feels shockingly similar to the death of a pet). I might end up doing a little research on the topic, though I doubt there's much information available, but I am finding myself seemingly incapable of writing down ANYTHING. Not even what I remember of my files. I'm having a terrible time trying to do the homework for my writing class. I mean really, writing for fifteen minutes is amazingly short, in the scheme of things, you wouldn't think I'd have a hard time with it.

Perhaps I'm afraid of loosing whatever I write again. Or maybe I'm just afraid. Not really sure.

Needless to say, it will probably be quite some time before I have the willpower, endurance, strength, and time to update any of my stories.

All the notes I had about where I was going to take the story next, what I was going to work into the plot, what each chapter was going to contain, the little things that had given me muse... Gone... All gone... just like that... poof. Vanished. Well and truly disappeared, lost forever in the swirling, twisting, and more than a little cruel thing that is, apparently, Fate.

As you can doubtless see, even if my muse hates me right now, three days is far too long a stretch for me to go without writing anything, or thinking about my beloved characters, or plotting anything, or...

I'll stop now. Really I will... Sorry, I tend to be rather long winded...

With love,

~Meg"

Profile Update November 27, 2010

I haven't forgotten about you guys, my beloved Fanfiction pals, truly I have not...

At the moment I'm working on my Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) Novel, which is going quite well actually, but I have been working a little bit on the next chapter of Angel of Hope, and hopefully that will be up before too much longer.

I'm re-writing Miracles can Happen, but I lost a lot of my notes on that story (as well as all my others) when my computer died (see above note) so that is progressing at a VERY slow rate. As you have probably all noticed, Sam and Kai's story is on hiatus, for an undetermined length of time.

My three Naruto tales, Angels and Demons: The Akatsuki, Emotionless no More, and Lost and Alone are also on hiatus. I haven't spoken with the person I was writing them with for a very long time, and I doubt we'll be talking much at all in the future either, unfortunately. I don't think I have the heart to finish them without her.

I have an account on FictionPress as well, and perhaps someday I'll share a link, but I have to clean it up a bit first. Imagine my first bungled attempts at writing, only 20 times worse... I have a lot of re-writing to do, and a lot of other stories which want to be told.

I hope to write more for you all soon, but life dictates when I can and cannot write, and it isn't always as forgiving of a taskmaster as I would like... I'm sure most of you can relate to that ;)