Phoebe seems like a nice, normal sort of girl...
Until you learn she writes fanfiction about homosexual, magical enemies who snog in abandoned classrooms.

Hello my name is Phoebe, I am a dipstick, blah blah blah...whatever.

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The basics:
Name: Phoebe. That's all you're going to get.
Birthday: May.
Age: Anywhere between Gabrielle Delacour and Albus Dumbledore. Joking, but not that old. Teenager?
Hair: I suppose it's gone brown by now...but long and a bit wavy? But it's better when straightened. :)
Eyes: Light blue.
Weight: I actually don't have the faintest idea.
Height: 5"7? I think. Well...tall anyway.
Live: Yorkshire. U.K? Haha...I don't have an accent though...

My hobbies:
Reading.
Writing. duh.
Facebook.
Listening to my iPod.
Harry Potter (Technically it's not a hobby...but whatever)

Little things that I'm good at:
Writing Harry Potter fanfiction? I dunno...you tell me?
Sarcasm.
Turning everything into something disturbing.
Generally being unsociable.

Little things that I'm rubbish at:
Sport. I have zero co-ordination.
Work. It's boring shit.

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Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The Provintial Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

I have that on my phone... :)

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YOUR BOY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green/black/red/blue/silver is one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.(Sometimes)
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total= 7

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total = 15

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You say Twilight's "teh rock"?
I say Harry Potter's better.
You say vampires are cool?
I say Wizards are cooliest.
You say Jacob Black is hot?
I say Remus Lupin could kick his arse.
You say 'Team Edward'?
I'm cheering for Gryffindor, personally.
You say Rob Pattinson is hot?
I say Tom Felton is hotttt (notice all the extra t's)
You still think Edward\Bella is the cutest, most perfect couple?
Well, look at Lily\James.
You say Edward?
I say AK'd Biatch!!

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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~~10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.
2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.
3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.
4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.
5. Try To Sell Your Money.
6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.
7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.
8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.
9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.
10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

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THE STUPID TEST:

Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
You've run into a glass/screen door.
You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
You have run into a tree/bush.
You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
You have tried to lick your elbow
You never knew that the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune.
You just tried to sing them.
You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
You've never seen the Matrix.
You type only with two fingers
You have accidentally caught something on fire
You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
You have caught yourself drooling.
You have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.
Sometimes you just stop thinking.
You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.
People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
You use your fingers to do simple math.
You have eaten a bug (either on purpose or not)
You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.
You forward stupid forwards emails because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
You break a lot of things.
Your friends know not to use big words around you.
You tilt your head when you're confused.
You have fallen out of your chair before.
When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/walls.
The word 'um' is used many times a day.

Wow I'm pretty stupid...:)

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If you are a Harry-Potter-obsessed-person, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are totally in love with Remus Lupin, copy and paste this into your profile. He is just so cute! (I LOVE HIM SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!)
If you love Harry Potter so much you wish the characters were real or you were one of them copy and paste this into your profile
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy and paste THIS on to your profileee!
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you think believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. WOOOO! GO REMUS!
If you look up cheats to any game, whether it be a ps3 or a pc game, just so you can say "HA! I've finished this game!" copy and paste this into your profile (I did that yesterday..)
If you think you'd die without music Copy and Paste this
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spout a Harry Potter character quote on command, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.
96 percent of teens would become suicidal if Miley Cyrus jumped off a cliff, repost this if you're part of the 4 percent yelling 'JUMP, BITCH! JUMP!!'
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

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