hi, this is my profile :)

and this is me...

i love dancing

i am veggie and have been all my life

i love all my friends even though we ague all the time,

i love my life even though im always left out and on the outside i dont see the point in hating the one thing that is most precious to me,

i thin trust is the most important thing in friendship,

i have morals and i stick to them,

i HATE stereotypes (a pet hate of mine)

i love music

i would die without my ipod

hmm what eles...

oh i know

i LOVE twilight!!

and i love JASPER no one can beat him, he ROCKS!!

i luv updating my profile with quotes and things so if u have any good ones please say :D

random stuff coming up... you were warned

╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too.

Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heartbeat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’ arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
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«´¨• ηєω мσση •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨• є¢ℓιρѕє •´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•вяєαкιηg ∂αωη•´¨» ´•.¸(•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•´
«´¨•мι∂ηιgнт ѕυη•´¨»
¸.•(¸.•´ •.¸)•.¸

(\_/)
(,..,) This is VampireBunny.
(")_(")He likes Twilight too!

╔══╗
║██║CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MUSIC!!
║(0)║

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (and so what if I am?!)

If everytime you hear thunder you think or say "well someone got a home run", copy and paste this into your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."
"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling?!"

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Superman wears Alice Cullen Pajamas!

When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like fire.

Do that again and I'll give you a papercut RIGHT IN FRONT OF JASPER!

It's Band GEEK, not Band NERD. If you are going to try to insult me, at least do it right

If you're constantly thinking, "What would Emmett do?", then copy and paste this onto your profileIf you or your best friend (or both) is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that Writers' Block sucks, paste this into your profile.

If u are totally, helplessly addicted to chocolate, put this on ur pro!

If you think Fireflies is an AWESOME song post this on your profile!!

When I was a yonger, the Dead Sea was only sick.

copy this if you think that playing “tag” with sprinters would be the least fun game in the world. Second only to playing on the seasaw with a sumo-wrestler.

there are 365 days in a year but only 360 degrees in a circle. What happened to the other 5?

scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s message.

Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn’t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn’t want my arms to get cold…

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profil

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT and NEW MOON and ECLIPSE over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. (okay, really, who the hell knew that?!)

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugar high, copy onto profile!

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profil

I am a proud part of the "Chasing Jacob Black Out of Town with Pitchforks Club." (personally I think it should be "Chasing Jacob Black Out of Town

with Pitchforks Flamethrowers and Grendades Club." but thats just me...)

-He who laughs last thinks slowest

-If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

-1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

-One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

-Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

i feels like getting some work done...and so i am is sitting down until the feeling passes.

i used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.

i dream of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned myself. i finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Loading ████████████ 99%

went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing he says is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you were obesessed with Harry Potter, and then you met Twilight, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are obesessed with Twilight, and don't care who knows it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

i'm a loser because i don't want to be popular.i'm a pansy because i dont ask every guy out.i'm special because i act silly in public.i'm a slut

because i actually dance at...dances.i'm nasty because i have a single zit on my face.i'm a hippie because i'm not cool with violence.i'm a whore

because my boyfriend kissed mee.i'm a freak because i don't dress just like you.i'm a bitch because i stand up for myself.i'm a retard when i make a

C on a test...but a nerd when i make an A, or a B.i'm anorexic because i forgot my lunch one day.the next day, i'm fat because i eat all of it.can i

tellyou something, sweetheart?Labels don't define ME!

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you
Good friends will bail you out of jail, BEST FRIENDS will be sitting next to you in your cell going "That was fun! Should do that again!"
Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid thing ALONE
Good Friend: Knocks politely at your door, BEST Friend: Walks right on in and shouts ‘I’M HOME’
Good Friend: Will bail you out of jail, BEST Friend: Will be sitting on the bench next to you saying ‘Damn that was fun! Let’s do it again!’
Good Friend: Will help you cry when you are rejected by a boy, BEST Friend: Will go up to the boy and say ‘Its because you’re gay, isn’t it?’
Good Friend: Asks nicely for your stuffBEST Friend: Shouts ‘GIMME!!’
Good Friend: Waits to call you until a reasonable hour, BEST Friend: Calls you at 2 in the freaking morning
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month, BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
Friend: Will help me learn to drive Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will go to a concert with me Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Friends: Fade Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

My Mother Taught Me…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight As',
I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy;
On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
"Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings--
If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it
on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the
memory of the innocent children

NO GIRL DESERVES THIS!!
Read This Twice &understand it!! ouch!

Girl: Hey

Boy: What?

Girl: I really like you. And I...
I think I'm falling in love with you.

Boy: Ok...

Girl: What do you mean "ok"?

Boy: I don't like you like that...

Girl: Why not?

Boy: I can't tell you... maybe
another time ...

From then on, the girl kept asking the
boy "Why not?" whenever she saw him,
and he kept answering the same answer
of "I'll tell you later." Finally the
girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why
you don't like me!

Boy: Do you really wanna know why?

Girl: Yes!

Boy: It's because you're uglier than
fuck! What's the point of going out
with someone when they're not pretty?!

(The nerve!! so superficial!!)

Girl: But... I...

Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sitting
there alone, crying her heart out.
Then her cell phone rings.

Girl: Hello?

Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to go
home, ok? I'll be home from work in
a few hours.

Girl: Alright Mom.

Mom: I love you.

Girl: I love you too, Mom.

Mom: Bye Bye.

Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she got
there, she went in the bathroom and
looked at herself in the mirror.

Girl: I'm not pretty enough...

She set to work, knowing fully well
what she was going to do. 2
hours later, her Mom came home and
heard the bath water running. She went
upstairs to find the hallway flooded
so she knocked on the door.

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shocked at
the site. The bath was overflowing
onto the floor, and the water was
tinted red. She walked over to see
what was inside and screamed. There,
her little girl was lying with cuts
all over her face and wrists. Her Mom
backed away and was going to run to
call the police when something caught
her eye. On the mirror were these
words written in blood:

"Am I pretty enough now?"

No one deserves to be told that by
someone they love. If you find it
messed up then forward this to
everyone you know.A person's
appearance doesn't count.What counts
is their heart inside of them and
their personality. No one wants to be
told they're not good enough...

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it’s my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream,

But it’s now much too late.

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain,

Again and again,

Oh please God, have mercy on me!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops,

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless,

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

A List of Stereotypes

~ put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)~

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (i do!!)

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd

I have GREEN SKIN so I MUST be a Wicked Witch

I'm a STAR WARS FAN so I MUST be a geek

I'm an ACTOR /ACTRESS so I MUST be mean

I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS SCHOOL so I MUST be boy crazy or a lesbian

I PLAY THE VIOLA so I MUST be an idiot

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you'reWHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
When GreEn wAs just a ColOr? remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

GASP. SEE? THIS IS WHY YOU MEN SHOULDNT USE PICKUP LINES :D

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
when I'm with my best friend
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know!! Because I know what the Twilighters know!

Every person has 1000 wishes. A cancer patient only has one: to get better.I know that 97% will not post this as their status, but I know that my friends will be one of the 3% and put this as their status, at leastforan hour, in honor of those who died because of cancer or are stillfighting it

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

If you think that Fan fiction absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile.
If you hate abnoxious preppy people, PLEASE copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Fan fiction absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile.
If you hate abnoxious preppy people, PLEASE copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.
We now have the technology to copy human skin cells to test on for all cosmetics and beauty supplies. If you are against any type of animal testing, post this on your profile.
If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile
If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If your idea of a 'late night snack' is running to the nearest gas station and spending every last cent you have on Cheetos, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you have best friends that are invisible, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you like stargazing when it's winter time, then copy this onto your profile.

-If you snort when you laugh, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you think that rainy days are beautiful and sunny days suck, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you think that inclement weather is just another reason to play video games in your mother's basement, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you're not too fond of little children, then copy this onto your profile.
-If you LOVE Severus Snape, then copy this onto your profile.

If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance the length of said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said world wide web page to make said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun, copy and paste this piece of information to your said autobiographical document.

Okay, that was fun. Now here are two things for social groups I find hilarious.

-Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies!

-Come the the Nerd Side, we have pi!

Life's unanswered questions...

If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cared, then why is there a song about him? When someone askes you one thing that you would want most on a deserted island, how come no one ever says 'A BOAT'? If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant? Why do sleeping pills have warning labels that state :'Caution: May Cause Drowsiness'? Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs. What happens if a black cat walks under a ladder and breaks a mirror? What would happen if you found a four-leaf-clover under a ladder? If mirrors need light to work, what happens if you put night vision goggles on in the dark and look at a mirror? Why is it written "May contain traces of peanuts or other kind of nuts" on peanut butter jars. Are people stupid enough not to realize it themselves?

If you are extremely obsessed with british boys, and their accents, copy this to your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love

him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If whenever you see a sliver Volvo you run down the street screaming, "EDWARD!", copy and paste this into your profile

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop you talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know you are going to write the next big hit when you get time to, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a small but dedicated circle of friends, copy and pate this into your profile.

If you like animals, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you listen to alternative rock, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like anime or magna, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you hate bigots and idiots, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are a virgin, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have never been social enough to be exposed to drugs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have never been in a fist fight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have never snuck out in the middle of the night to go do something, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your insane because you say so, copy and pate this into your profile."
If you pretend that voices and objects talk to you to support this claim, copy and post this into your profile.
If you think being random is screaming out common household objects, animals and foods, copy and pate this into your profile.
If you refuse to give answers to your own questions and somehow think your being clever or funny, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you only give reviews so people will review you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think people really care about your story, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you label any reviews that aren't constant praise a flame, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you only use examples from your own story, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you go against the status quo, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you do not think you are influenced by trends and media, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want people to believe you don't care how they feel about you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ask for reviews after stating this, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you feel alone in the world and think no one understands you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to love someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever hated humanity as a whole, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been worried for another person, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile

(scroll down)

Make a wish!

Keep Scrolling

No, really, go on and make one!

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!
Wish something else!

Not that, you pervert!

STOP!

Wasn't that fun:)
Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.

It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE! Really! Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.

Thanks!
Good Luck!

00000000

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
Thanks again!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

Copy this if you believe rap & hiphop can give you ear cancer

If you would walk 1,000 miles to see the person you love for 5 minutes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to copy and paste this onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you think Bella shudders way too much in the Twilight Series, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don't use myspace and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your not sure whether to say "Onto your profile" or "Into your profile", copy and paste this on/into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against abortion, except in extreme circumstances (e.g. rape, serious foetal illness) copy and paste. (Stop killing babies!)

If you think rap is the most awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile. (Rapping is the same as talking.)

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Jack Sparrow's too cool 4 u)

If you have ever done or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends, but only caused your 'peers' to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you are between the ages of 1 and 100, copy and paste this in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! (super lemons will one day rule the world...)

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up

if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

Ur mom looks like Voldemort...Dissed

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If when a door is open it's called 'ajar', but when a jar is open it's not called 'adoor'?

Who's cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my handle, here is my...other handle? Sh!t, i'm a sugar bowl!

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

'It’s always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

What the storybook failed to tell you was that Humpty Dumpty was high on crack and thought he could fly.

Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

If Bob is short for Robert, then shouldn't Rob be short for Bobert?

Why is the fear of long words called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

If the United States is supposed to be "united", why are we divided into Democrats and Republicans?

Why is it that when you tell a person there are 400 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it?

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter. You're a mile away from him and you got his shoes!

Clean laundry helps the confidence level, which helps the self image, which helps you...umm...win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money, which causes immense spending, which then triggers high anxiety, which causes a heart attack at age 31, and then you die. Lesson: Who needs clean laundry!

I luv this joke: What's pink and fluffy?...pink fluff! Whats blue and fluffy? ...pink fluff holding its breath!

98% of teens say "I love you" and don't mean it...I am one of the 2% that do mean it. If you are too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."--Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid."--Spencer, icarly

"And truth be told I'm lying"--'Gives you Hell'song, All American Rejects

Edward: I'll take care of her Chief Swan. Charlie: Uh huh. I've heard that before.--Twilight

After Jared implying that Bella's going to throw up "I bet she's tougher than that. She runs with vampires." After that, to Bella:"Don't throw up, okay? I've only got ten, and if Paul for his teeth into Jacob..."--Embry, New Moon

On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Too Late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(OMG, no way!)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(Ya, cause all 5 year olds drive cars.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(I would hope so)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Oh really?)

e best comebacks if a guy tries to hit on you:

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

(the best for last:)
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

This is a funny story:

When the new school year starts the history teacher is so excited because there are three little Indian boys in her class. She is beside herself with excitement.

So she asks the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he is from and how he knows this.

The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest and takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a Cherokee. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Cherokee land. So, I know I am a Cherokee."

The teacher says very good and asks the next little Indian boy to stand. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest, takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a Comanche. My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you see all this land. This is Comanche land. So, I know I am a Comanche."

The teacher is growing more excited by the moment and asks the last little Indian boy to stand up. The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest, takes his fist and hits it on his chest. He says in a booming voice, "I am a Fuckawee."

The teacher looks dumb founded. She says, "I don't think there is any such tribe as the Fuckawee."

The little boy says, "My Father and I walked for many days and many nights. We ran out of water, but we kept walking. With no rest, we were getting weary. Finally, one day my Father stopped and with his hand to shield the sun from his eyes, looked around. He said, 'Hmm, where the Fuckawee.'"

:P

Remember this Christmas; when you're eating your Christmas dinners, smiling and laughing, that in another house there's an empty chair where a hero should be sitting. He gave up his life so we could be with our families, so light a candle for the heroes that did not make it back and for all those still serving out in Afganistan. Copy and paste this to show your respect