Hey I'm from a small town in Virginia
So im into a lot of things :
Dr.Seuss books
A little game called Perfect World International
The Chronicals of Vladimir Tod
And much more...

This is Bunny.

(\_/)
(O.o)
o(/_._\)o

Copy and paste Bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination!

On the other hand, this is Kitty.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ~ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Kitty is Bunny's nemesis. Or evil accomplice. Nobody really knows.

Either way, copy and paste Kitty as well, or Bunny will get lonely

ø¤º°°º¤ø Madness,
,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸, as you know,
°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º° is like
°°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°° gravity,
°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º° all it takes
,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸, is a little
ø¤º PUSH!

ಠ_ಠ I question my own sanity. Copy and paste, if you're the same.

RAVENCLAW
knowledge is power!
GRYFFINDOR
courage is power!
HUFFLEPUFF
friendship is power!
SLYTHERIN
power_ is mine

copy and paste:

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped UP stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (Lucky is just a normal leprechaun who wants his cereal)

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

If you have ever forgotten and/or spelt your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely adore cliff hangers and suspenseful stuff like that copy and paste this into your profile

98 of teenagers do drugs and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favourite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humour than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

I like eggs. Tigers are pretty. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever passed notes in class when you are allowed to talk copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good because unique is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that's weird. If you agree then copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever choked on air copy this into your profile..

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you have ever stopped in the middle of a busy street to look at something, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this to your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when someone asked you for it, copy this to your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and paste this into your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a slow runner...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

98 of the internet population have a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have stared at your computer for a complete hour copying and pasting copy and paste its into your profile copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apparent reason, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know at least five words to the song 'I Love Rock n' Roll', put this in your profile

If you have ever attacked someone with joy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile. ( I did before, when i was still addicted to it)

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If whenever someone asks you your name, you have to think about it, copy this to your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If less than two days before this was posted, your profile was blank, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid, copy and paste this on your profile. (I’m one of it... sorry for the twi-fans)

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now ever your parents are afraid of you because of the results, copy this onto your profile

If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your pro.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-bes who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you are a loner/Goth/emo/freak/punk/weird person, then copy this to your profile. (more of the weird type) :D

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled out a random food item during class or just randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and I mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile

If you jump up and down on the elevator, copy and paste this to your profile

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you don’t just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so that they could spread their 6-AM cheers to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times, that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

We now have the technology to copy human skin cells to test on for all cosmetics and beauty supplies. If you are against any type of animal testing, post this on your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have no willpower post this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00

The blonde put the 50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5.

BEST FRIENDS N FRIENDS:

FRIENDS: never ask anything to eat or drink

BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa

BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BESTFRIENDS: Won’t tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts you.

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say "seven days”

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad ... here’s a tissue"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say ,"IM HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BESTFRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough

BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don’t waste”

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS: dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running thru bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FREINDS: Will ignore this

BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this crap.

Really sad! prepare yourselves!

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

47 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:

1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4) Pretend you can do magic.

5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.

16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color.

37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41) Refer to random people as "You Know Who."

42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43) Ask them to help you stuy for your O.W.L.'S

44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! always knew you were alive!"

46) Hog the computer when making Harry potter videos on youtube.

47) Tell them that You Know Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you know who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.

101 things to do at WalMart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial.

100. Sing 'Girlfriend' very loudly, particularly in front of old people. Emphasise all swear words and watch the looks on their faces.

101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn't stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
It would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. And there was more...
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he'd opened them, the map had had its last word.
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball

Why Are You Worrying about You-Know-Who?
You SHOULD Be Worrying About
U-NO-POO -
the Constipation Sensation That's Gripping the Nation

Don't put your wand there , boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.
"Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye. "Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore..." He stumped off toward the kitchen. "And I saw that," he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

Top 71 twilight obsessed things to do

1. You keep re-reading the series, even though you know pretty much every line.

2. You never put down the books when you read them the first time.

3. You were counting down the days until breaking dawn came out.

4. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Edward.

5. The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.

6. Whenever someone says, “Hey, you want to go shopping?” you automatically think of Alice.

7. You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.

8. When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.( even though you don't punch)

9. When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.

10. You cried during some parts of the books, and laughed at others.

11. The name Victoria sends chills down your spine. (shudder)

12. Twilight is your favourite time of day

13. You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullens and or characters in the book

14.You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.

15. After you read the book, apples became your favourite fruit.

1 6.You wish you were a vampire.

17. You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New moon.

18. Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.

19. When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant

20. you go on a never ending rant when someone brings up twilight

21. When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires

22. You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it

23. Instead of asking yourself questions like, “I wonder why we as humans are alive?” you ask, “I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn”

24.You hate the name Jacob with a passion.

25. Black is now your least favourite colour. (Sorry Jacob fans)

26.Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.

27. You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you’re not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.

28. You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it’s the only website you’re on anymore.

29. You’ve written Cullen as your last name

30. When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.

31. You listen to your heartbeat more often

32. You look at your doctor and think, “Carlisle’s better”

33. Topaz is your favourite gemstone.

34. You wish you were born if November so topaz would be your birthstone

35. You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward’s

36. Your parents have grounded you from the books until you get breaking dawn.

37. Mountain lions are your favourite animal

38. You’ve tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change people’s emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain.

39. You cried during New Moon, more than you've cried ever before in a book.

40. You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.

41. You jump every time you hear "Edward" or "Bella"

42. You can't focus on your work/homework because you could be reading one of the books again.

43. You name your pet/computer/car after one of the Twilight characters

44. you relate everything in life to Bella and Edward and anything else that goes on in the books.

45. You began to look after men/women that have pale skin, dark eyes and are absolutely gorgeous.

46. You want to go cliff diving because Bella did it.

47. You want to ride motorcycles, just because Bella did.

48. You read your books while you eat, or you just don't eat at all.

49. When you fall over or nearly get hit by a big van you call it a Bella moment.

50. You fall over alot and almost get hit by big vans.

51. You sleep with your books in your bed at night.

52. You've memorized every page number in all three books and know the content of each.

53. You start a Twilight-themed website.

54. You and your friends make Twilight tees that say "I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton" and wear them to school on the same day.

55. Instead of shouting "I HAVE TO PEE!" you say "I need a human minute."

56. You hate gym only because Bella does, too.

57. Everytime someone speaks of one named Edward, you jump on their back.

58. You refuse to eat human food, because the Cullens don't.

59. You think in Fanfic.

60. Every sentence you say begins with "Twilight".

61.You would name your kid Carlisle in a heartbeat.

62. If someone is cold/warm when you touch them, you scream "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE! And THEN jump on them.

63. You call your English/Science/Trig teachers there respective Twilight characters (i.e., Mr. Berty, Mr. Banner, Mr. Varner, Coach Clapp)

64. You become a vegetarian, because you are just halfway there to "vegetarian vampire."

65. You refuse a date with the most popular guy in school because he's not "your Edward."

66. You have answered "duh," "yes," or "omg YEAH" to all or any of these questions.

67. You give complements/insults in the following format: "You know what, you are such a insert name of character here.

68. If someone mentions they haven't read the series, *gasp* you start yelling at them until they do.

69. You demand that your parents take you to Forks over spring break/summer vacation, etc.

70.On a sunny day, you're depressed because you know you won't see any vampires.

71. You're reading this list for this long.

These are quotes I have found I think explains each house.

Hufflepuff
"People don't care what you think unless they think you care."

Gryffindor
"Stand up to what is right, even if you're standing alone."

Slytherin
“Winning means rising each time you fall."

Ravenclaw
"What lies before us and behind us aren't as important as what lies within us."

Hufflepuff: Accepts people
Loyal
Kind

Slytherin: Dedicated
Will do anything for a cause

Ravenclaw: Intelligent (I don't think this necessarily means show-off)
Witty
Smart

Gryffindor: Brave
Don't really think before they act

There is a ticking time bomb in a room.

Gryffindor- Throws self on nearest person.
Ravenclaw- Attempts to defuse bomb.
Slytherin- Looks for escape route.
Hufflepuff- Reassures nearest person.

-Plane crash lands in desert.

Gryffindor- Checks for survivors
Ravenclaw- Attempts to figure out location.
Slytherin- Scavenges the dead.
Hufflepuff- Draws help sign in sand.

There is a suspicious cake on the dinner table.

Gryffindor- Destroys cake.
Ravenclaw- Analyzes the cake.
Slytherin- Makes nearest person eat cake.
Hufflepuff- Eats cake.

You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

OCD is Obsessive Cullen Disorder

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

If you wish you were the creator of Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you you think Edward is freaken HOT copy + paste this into your profile

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.

7.Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier, hotter and spicier Than You since 1901

And then there's

Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'm WEIRD
I say YES I AM

You think I’m strong. I’m not.
You think I’m brave. I’m not.
You think my life is perfect. It’s not.
You think I’m perfect. I’m not.

girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

DANCE...as though no one is watching

LOVE...as though you've never been hurt before

SING...as though no one can hear you

LIVE...everyday as if it was your last...remember..tommorow is never promised.

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental
Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and
6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy ayway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you
have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press
9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy
forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll
just mess it up.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you KNOW the voices in your head are real, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you have ADHD and always forget the main topic of the conversation and start a new one copy and paste this to your profile.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever fallen out of a chair backwards

Copy and paste this into your profile if you were on Team Edward, and then realized he was a jerk, and fell in love with Jacob Black.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever fallen up the stairs

Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile

Random funny phrases, do with them what you will.

If someone looks at you funny, flip them the finger.

When someone tells you to act your age, yell at the top of your lungs "I AM!"

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

Never suffer from insanity, enjoy every minute of it.

Remember that all actions have reactions... (You don't wana know why I put this in here, believe me!)

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!"

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

(Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

I'm the type of girl that manages to plan a whole world domination in Histroy class.

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

It's us versus the world...we attack at dawn!

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.
If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep.
After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off

Don't count the days, make the days count

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand apples!

Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow

Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

Amatuers made The Ark, experts made the Titanic...

Stressed is Desserts backwards :)

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Where's the good in goodbye?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

We all smile in the same language

On the other hand, you have different fingers

I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!

My door is always open, so feel free to leave

Second place is the first loser

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I swear to drunk I'm not god

I am in shape...round is a shape

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Smile...it confuses people!

Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood

If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't see,
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

Try Reading This:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5 isn't there.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

I Love my Dad:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile