MY UPDATES ARE ALL ERRATIC - I POST AS SOON AS I FINISH WRITING SOMETHING, WHETHER THAT'S A NEW CHAPTER FOR AN ONGOING STORY OR A NEW FIC ALTOGETHER, SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO GIVE ANYONE A SET TIME ON WHEN I'LL BE ABLE TO UPDATE THIS OR THAT FIC; BUT I AM MORE THAN LIKELY TO PUBLISH EITHER ON TUESDAYS OR FRIDAYS (JUST BECAUSE I LIKE THOSE DAYS OF THE WEEK).

My writing policy is to write whatever I want whenever I want. I hate forcing plots along when that particular muse is going slow, not to mention life can get in the way as well. That being said, unless that fic has ‘ON HIATUS’ or ‘ABANDONED’ in its summary, it is NOT either of those, even if I haven’t posted anything further for a few months on end.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and smirk as everyone wonders just how the heck you managed it.

They keep saying the right person will come along; but I think a truck hit mine.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

I believe that you should live everyday as if its your last, which is why my room is such a mess. I mean come on who wants to clean their room on their last day?!

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

When in doubt...throw a chair.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "You just noticed?", copy this into your profile.

90% of girls would have a breakdown if they saw Justin Bieber on the edge of a skyscraper getting ready to jump. I would be part of the 10% sitting in deck chairs with popcorn screaming "DO A BACK FLIP!"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(the shoplifter special? Maybe it's plot by Frito to get people arrested so they don't have to pay up!)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Iron: Do not place in any bodily orfice while turned on.
(because some things are not meant to be ironed out.)

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan
-Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.
-The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.
-Children of rival gods can fall in love.
-No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.
-Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.
-Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.
-Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.
-The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.
-Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.
-Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.
-Math teachers really are evil.
-Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)
-It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.
-Elvis was a magician. No, really.
-Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.
-Boomerangs can cast spells.
-It's possible to gamble moonlight.
-Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise.
-Rainbows have power.
-If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you.
-Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.
-Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.
-Even plants can wage war.
-It's not safe to leave a possessed hispanic alone in a warship.
-You can use bubble wrap and wood sticks as a splint.
-Even Bacchus wants to turn Percy into a dolphin.

Misa: I would never dream of living in a world without light.
L: Yes, that would be dark.
Light: Cut it out!

Let's see. My first impression: I hate you - Kakashi (Naruto)

Too troublesome - Shikamaru (Naruto)

Tamaki: There is proof that honey sempi has an evil side

:His blood is AB

Haruhi: So what is the big deal

Tamaki: Haruhi that the same blood type as kyoya

Haruhi: SHOCK!!!

Kyoya: 'tap''tap' What the matter? do you guys have a problem with my blood type 'tap''tap'