My name is what you see above

My age is how old I am

I live with my family

I think that is enough valid information.

Dear people,

I'm sorry I'm not like you.

I love books.

I actually enjoy staying home on a Friday night.

I'm different.

Learn to accept it.

Copy and paste if you can relate to this.

An atheist professor of philosophy asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes, sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

Now the professor asks, "Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil," replies the student.

The professor grins knowingly.

"Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes, sir, I would."

"So you're good…!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er… yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God," he answers after a few moments.

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No, sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No, sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest, minus 458 degrees.

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

"Sir, science can't explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from monkeys?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

Copy and paste if you battle atheism

A teenage girl, about 17, named Diane, had gone to visit some friends one evening, and time passed quickly as each shared his/her various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town, and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley, she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her; she felt though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley way just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she can identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man have been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they can do for her.

She asked if they can ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

Without God, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of God.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If you believe in God and aren't afraid to admit it then repost this on your profile

Dear Bullies,

The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

You will feel guilty if you choose number two.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby, Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy, what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me, Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile

A 15-year-old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13.

People call a girl fat. No one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be overweight.

People call an old man ugly. No one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

People call a boy a crybaby. No one knows his mom is dying.

Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping.

These have got to be some of the most clever brain teasers I've seen in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is deadly at Scrabble.

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

PERCY: I'd fall into Tartarus again for you.

FRANK: You're worth more than diamonds.

JASON: You're beautiful, Piper.

LEO: I'm as single as a pringle.

Repost if you're as single as a pringle!

These are my favourite quotes from PJO and HoO

“I can see the stars again my lady.”

- Zoë Nightshade

She called me brave… unless she was talking to the catfish.

-Percy Jackson

I had this accident with a revolutionary war cannon. I wasn’t aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.

-Percy Jackson

I mean sure she’s always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful.

-Percy Jackson

“Don’t I get a kiss for luck? It’s kind of a tradition, right?” “Come back alive, Seaweed brain. Then we’ll see.”

- Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase

“You drool when you sleep”

-Annabeth Chase

“Yes, boy, you see, Bianca Di Angelo is not the only one with an annoying brother. It’s time for you to meet my irresponsible twin, Apollo.”

-Artemis

“You have a feast for Tuna.”

-Percy Jackson

If you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. It’s a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.

-Percy Jackson

“You’re pretty smug, Lord Ares, for someone who runs from cupid statues.”

-Percy Jackson

And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.

-Percy Jackson

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years you find out that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

-Percy Jackson

You know that teachers tell you that the magic word is please? That’s not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

-Percy Jackson

I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. “You hit the lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”

-Percy Jackson

Rachel: “They asked me a lot of questions about you, I played dumb.”

Annabeth: “Was it hard?”

-Annabeth Chase, Rachel Elizabeth Dare

“Wow,” Thalia muttered. “Apollo is hot.” “He’s the sun god,” I said. “That’s not what I meant.”

-Thalia Grace

“I guard borders. I don’t kill giants, it’s not in my job description.”

-Terminus

“My fatal flaw is hubris.” “The brown stuff they spread on veggie sandwiches?”

-Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson

They don’t show you stuff like that in ‘The little Mermaid’.

-Percy Jackson

“I simply ooze niceness, Perry Johansson.”

-Mr. D (Dionysus)

“You seem to be clean, do you have anything to declare?” “Yes,” Percy said. “I declare that this is stupid.”

-Percy Jackson

“I enjoy making jackalopes…”

-Artemis

I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like “No, that’s our huge friend Leroy! He’s going to help us!”

-Percy Jackson

“You invented the internet?”

-Percy Jackson

I felt like one of Apollo’s sacred cows. Slow, dumb, and bright red.

-Percy Jackson

“This is a PEN!”

-Percy Jackson

“Percy, I said hello to the poodle. You say hello to the poodle.”

-Grover Underwood

“Stay alert,” I told Blackjack. “I’ve got an idea.” “Oh I hate your ideas.”

-Percy Jackson, Blackjack

PJO Pledge

I promise to remember Percy

whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

whenever my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

whenever I see a sign that says "Free Pony Ride"

I promise to remember Tyson

when a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

when a friend is afraid of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

whenever I see someone who gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

when I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

whenever I see someone who doesn't get along well with others

I promise to remember ZOE

when I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

when a limo passes my car

Yes, I promise to remember Percy Jackson and the Olympians wherever I may go

I promise to remember Ares

Each time I hear of World War II

And promise to remember Athena

Whenever I see a olive tree

promise to use the internet

For Hermes' sake of course

promise to remember Poseidon

Whenever I ride a horse

promise to remember Zeus

Whenever lightning fills the sky

And I promise to remember Hera

Every time a guy makes a girl cry

promise to remember Aphrodite

Whenever i see makeup

And I promise to remember Apollo

When the sun is very bold

promise to remember Artemis

When the moon shines in the night

And I promise to remember Hades

When something gives me a fright

promise to remember Demeter

Whenever i eat cereal

I promise to remember Hephaestus

When i build something

promise to remember Dionysus

When I am at a party

And I promise to remember Hestia

When someones smile is very hearty

Yes I promise to love The Godsend

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Olympians know!

If you're obsessed with Percy Jackson and the Olympians like me copy and paste the pledge into your profile!

Fear

You aren't scared of the dark. You're scared of what's in it.

You aren't afraid of heights. You're afraid of falling.

You aren't afraid of death. You're afraid of dying.

You aren't afraid of the people around you. You're afraid of rejection.

You aren't afraid to love. You're afraid of not being loved back.

You aren't afraid of letting go. You're just afraid to accept the reality that they're gone.

You aren't afraid to try again. You're afraid of being hurt for the exact same thing.

Copy and paste this on your profile!

You see that girl you just called odd?

Her mother died when she was 9.

You see that boy with the lightning bolt scar you just made fun of?

He's lived in a cupboard under some stairs for 10 years.

You see that boy you just saw crying in the toilets?

He had to kill his headmaster to make his parents proud.

You see that boy who has lost his Remembrall?

His parents suffered a fate worse than death.

Copy and paste this if you are against bullying.

Rights to this go to SincerlyChris.

You say Twilight, I say Harry Potter. You say vampires, I say wizards. You say Jacob Black, I say Sirius Black. You say Sam Uley, I say Remus Lupin. You say Team Edward, I say Team Potter. You say Robert Pattinson, I'll say 'is Cedric Diggory'. You think Bella and Edward is the Perfect dream couple? I think that's Lily and James.

Girls say vampires are sexy in their angst...but only after sacrificing all dignity and self-respect for sparkling in sunlight.

You say Edward, I'll say Harry; now STUPEFY!

Copy/Paste this if you agree that Harry Rules! And Twilight sucks!

FAKE FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BEST FRIENDS: goes up to them and says, "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

FAKE FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number

REAL FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FAKE FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

REAL FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. (Raiding pantries is a great bonding experience, kids!)

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Dang … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost this

THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART (Or this)

1. Get 24 random boxes and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...

Or are planning to do any of these things

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity in your life:

At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write for stolen goods.

Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

Sing Along At The Opera.

Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

98 percent of teens do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!

If there are times where you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile.

95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5 that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!"

95% Of the girls in the world would cry a river if Justin Bieber was chosen for the Hunger Games, repost this if you are the 5% that would just volunteer just to chase him around with a (Very) pointy stick!

If you listen to music when reading fan fiction, post this on profile

If you hear the characters voices in your head, post this on your profile!

If, when you imagine the characters in a book they looking nothing like the actors in the movie, post this on your profile!

If you're one of those people that reads other people's profiles, post this on your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this to your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favourite character died/almost died, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been told a joke, not gotten it, and then burst out laughing half an hour later when you actually got it, copy & paste this into your profile.

If you have a little bit of Decepticon in you, paste this onto your profile!

If you are insane but intelligent, put this in your profile!

If fanfiction shut down and you would go insane because of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (too late)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (thank you captain obvious . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (seriously though?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Oh yeah, because so many kids are driving cars and operating machinery these days . . .)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that kinda the point??)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (okay, that made me curious, what other use??)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (captain obvious has returned!!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon)

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(as opposed to what?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.
(because it somehow always ends up inside the children right?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism