"I wish I was the last guy on earth, then I could see if all those women were lying to me."
~unknown

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
~Douglas Adams

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
~Dave Edison

"Evil is a moral entity and not a created one, an eternal and not a perishable entity: it existed before the world; it constituted the monstrous, the execrable being who was also to fashion such a hideous world. It will hence exist after the creatures which people this world."
~Marquis De Sade

"Iron rusts from disue; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind."
~Leonardo da Vinci

"Two qualities are indispensable: first, an intellect that, even in the darkest hour, retains some glimmerings of the inner light which leads to truth; and second, the courage to follow this faint light wherever it may lead."
~Carl von Clausewitz

"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
~Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts

"Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest."
~Sam Levenson

"I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face."
~Jhonny Depp

"Me, I'm dishonest, and you can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for..."
~Captain Jack Sparrow