![]() Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, Vampire Academy, and Glee. Hey everyone, well here are things about me: Name: Kyle Elizabeth Gender: Female Age: 15 I live in Texas cuz i am awesome like that! I Like: All things Twilight related, Music (any and everything), Playing piano, reading Fanfiction, basketball, swimming, and i am really good in school, especially in Algebra and Science, I LOVE SHARKS!! I hate: When people make fun of my name so take this as your warning mess with me and face my wrath...no i am just kidding but i still hate it! Oh if you don't think Kyle is a girls name go to babynames.com and look it up!! my future: I want to go to Harvard University, and i will become an Oceanographer who specializes in Black-Tipped Reef Sharks I also have an unhealthy obsession with sharks (so my brothers tell me) I am currently working on a story with one of my closest friends Vikkitori22 she is awesome and has some of the coolest ideas (This is for putting me on your profile Vikki) The story will be awesome so please read it when we post it! DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Twilight, Vampire Academy, or anything that i did not make up :D Love y'all Kyle Beth POEMS Try Not To Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go,But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun,he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother;I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack,I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I have to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost Please if you would, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are... Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you 92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names. Crazy is if you've falen while going UP stairs and brought some down with you and the started laughing at THEM...and then yourself later. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO! I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead... I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! If two wrongs don't make a right, try three I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you. Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock! Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. To put it nicely, I hope you choke True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. EVER WONDER where we are heading... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? AND... In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. 25 Reasons to Thank my Mother: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual. FEAR ME! "When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE." What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" -Unknown "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. "We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook “You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” "Love your enemies! It really pisses them off" "Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again "Here's a toast -- To those who challenge us to mind games, but forget to bring their equipment!"- IF YOU EVER'S If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythical lemon with wings. ha! now you know!) If you have a problem with counselors, copy and paste! If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile If you're happy and you know it clap your hands...and then copy and paste this into your profile.- If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro! If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile find "good morning" a contradiction of terms You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. Smile. It confuses people. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? The world is cruel... get used to it! Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal. If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler. If youre paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Icecream doesn't have bones!! A day without sunshine is like... night. A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water! At last! My plans for world domination are complete! MAHAHAHAA? Oh look, something shiney? Behold the mighty...chihuahua? When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up! You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thnaks for embracing it. she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town. "It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone." "Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that." "When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate." "It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with." "I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?" This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination. Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then is it possible the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient still have been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere." Daddy's Poem: Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow, Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home, Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say, What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone, And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all, About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls. There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats. One by one the teacher called, a student from the class, To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare, Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their. "Where's her daddy at?" She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak, And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away, But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know, All about my daddy, and how he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike, He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone, And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart, I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest, Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears, Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life, Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd, She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star, And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year, When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away," And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise, A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside, Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side. "I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out, And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt. Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed, But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant, long-stemmed, pink rose. And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star, And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them. Release the object you are currently holding translation for those who are not scientifically inclined 30 important things Twilight taught me 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. Worst Pickup Lines ever! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together see i am weird which is normal for me, but being normal for me is weird, which i am normally. Meaning that technically i am normal because that is weird for me and i am weird, Get it? Sad I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying 1) Repost this message. Friendship is like peeing yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you can get the warm feeling it gives. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. When life gives you lemons, give life a wedgie!! "Stop, Drop, and Roll" doesn't work in hell Jesus died for "Myspace" in heaven!! There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count & Those who can't Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice Every morning is the dawn of a new error I used up all my sick days, so I am calling in dead Proofread carefully to see if you any words out Ever stop to think, but forget to start again? Don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out. If at first you DO succeed, then don't look so astonished My knight in shinning armor turned out to be a fool in tin foil. (By Lauren :) ) Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Education is important. Although, school is another matter entirely. Music is love in search of words. Isn't it a cruel idea to have an 's' in 'lisp'? Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds! I ran with scissors and lived! I agree with the dictionary: Girls before Guys, Partying before Studying, and Friends before Love I don't obsess. I just think intensely. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The knack of flying is attempting to fall... and missing the ground. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Everyone has a weird side. Me and my friends just prefer to make it public. Somebody needs a happy meal. Music is like candy, you throw away the rappers. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead? When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. If you don't like me, there's nothing I can do. Newsflash honey, I don't live to please you! We fall for stupid boys, make lots of stupid mistakes, talk really fast, and laugh incredibly loud. But us teenages girl are really good at one thing: Staying strong. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not. When people don't laugh at our jokes, we don't think of it as, "You had to have been there." thing. It's more of a "You would have to be mentally retarded like us" thing. Your just jealous that the little voices are talking to me. I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. I smile because I have no idea what's going on. He who smiles in the midst of a tradgedy has found someone to blame it on. Ways to make sure you're insane: you don't want to know how many times i have done these!! At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy" Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright. As often as possible, skip rather than walk . Specify that your drive-through order is "to go" Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme . Five days in advance tell your friends you can't go to their party because your not in the mood or have a headache. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!" Why America has some issues... 1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering. This has got to be one of the most clever DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: Did you know... kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted Your One and Only Wish 1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex. 2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow? 3. Your first initial? 4. Your month of birth? 5. Which color do you like more, black or white? 6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. 7. Your favorite number? 8. Do you like California or Florida more? 9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more? 10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--) THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person. 2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down. 3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. 4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate. 5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it. 6. This person is your best friend. 7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime. 8. If you choose... 9. If you choose... 10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday! |
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