The Crazy Hyperactive Authoress/Author To-Do List: Created by Wolf (She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name) 1.) Write Saw: The Musical. 2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. (Brocotongue!) 3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape. 4.) Make action figure of yourself. 5.) Prove to the word that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe. 6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls. 7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!) 8.) Teach monkeys how to skydive. 9.) Create first ever cheese laser. 10.) Have own theme music. 11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and and salt-filled jar. 12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself. 13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer. 14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well. 15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies. 16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.) 17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents. 18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose. 19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claimign you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel. 20.) Develop sense of irony. 21.) Don't die yet. 22.) Conquer the world with flying monkeys. 23.) Teach monkeys how to skydive, then start an airshow. 24.) Build a city...then destroy it with rainbow dinosaurs! 25.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too! (Give Wolf credit, though. Or face the wrath of the hard core unicorns!) IF Miley Cyrus were standing on top of the Empire State Building, 94 percent of children and teens would be crying their eyes out. Sign and re-post if you'd be part of the 6 percent yelling "JUMP BITCH JUMP!" A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it? Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't. Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven |
Irony by Christy T reviews